"What are you"—Ronni snorted—"an idiot?"
Rex glared at his sister, who threw her hands up in the air and stalked out of the room, shouting, "It's a fair question!"
Randi patted my arm apologetically as she pointed to the animals' heads. "They're each one candle." She pulled them apart then pushed them back together. "You light one each, individually, and then push them together! Voilà!"
There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Randi's face fell. She'd tried several times to contribute to the ceremony, but everything she'd made had been dismissed. I couldn't do it to her again.
"You nailed it! Great idea! We'll do that!" I said.
If Rex was surprised, he didn't show it.
"You like it?" Randi's eyes shone with joy.
I nodded. "I love it! We love it, right?" I nudged Rex with my foot.
"It's perfect," he agreed.
Which was good because otherwise I'd have to overrule him.
Personally, I wasn't fond of the ferret candle. But I was fond of Randi. And that had to count for something.
"I'm so glad you love it!" Randi jumped up and down gleefully before crushing both of us together in one huge hug.
"It's about time you liked something!" Ronni shouted from another room.
"I have a great idea about the pew bows!" Randi said quickly. "Since your colors are green and white, I was thinking of those green tree snakes! We could tie them into bows! And albino snakes for the color white!"
I stared at her. "You're on a roll!"
You might be thinking I was crazy, but I was fairly certain she wouldn't be able to find these snakes. Although I did wonder what the Methodists would think of snake pew bows. I'd figure out how to deal with that later.
Randi ran out of the room, presumably to order dead snakes. Rex walked the perimeter of the room, studying it.
"Do you think this was the dining room?" I asked.
He nodded. "I'd say it was." He pointed to the room his sister had just gone into. "That's the kitchen, and the measurements look right."
I'd never really looked at this house before. I'd only seen the bizarre animals that filled its rooms. Now I had to visualize it like it was at the turn of the century. It was like being in a new house.
My fiancé walked around the room before stopping and pointing at the corner to the right of the kitchen door.
"That's where she was found." He looked around and found a stuffed German shepherd standing like a person, wearing a yellow raincoat with a purple umbrella over its arm.
I watched with surprise as he laid the animal down on its back, head in the corner, feet near the table.
"This is the position of Mimi's body, according to the report."
I found an axe, believe it or not, in the hands of a bear dressed as a lumberjack, and handed it to him. Rex placed the cutting edge next to the dog's head with the handle parallel to the wall.
It looked like the dog had walked in on something he shouldn't have and was murdered for it.
"Was she coming out of, or going into, the kitchen?"
Rex walked around the table, frowned, then walked the other way. "I'm not sure. She had her purse, and the theory was she was going out. She could've come into this room to go to the kitchen, or come out of the kitchen in order to leave the house."
We stared at the dog body, on its back, head in the corner. The killer could've come from either direction. There was no way of knowing what really happened unless we had a time machine, in which case, we wouldn't have to solve the murder—cuz duh, time machine!
"What are you doing?" Ronni shouted from behind us, causing both of us to jump and spin. I, of course, landed in a perfect defensive position. Rex hadn't been startled at all.
"When you bought the house," Rex said, "did the real estate agent tell you about the murder that occurred here?"
Ronni snapped. "Of course she did! It was a long time ago. Who cares?"
Randi joined us. "She said that someone named Mad Mimi was killed here about one hundred years ago. Why?"
"We are trying to solve the case," I said. "So we decided to reenact it to figure out what really happened. The only problem is, we don't know for sure what position she was in."
"Well, that's easy," Randi said.
She moved the dog aside and lay down where it had been. Only this time, she lay on her side, facing the kitchen.
"Why do you think that's what happened?" Rex asked.
Ronni stormed out of the room and to our complete surprise, returned with a photo. She shoved it into Rex's hands before leaving again.
"Oh, wow," Rex muttered as Randi and I closed in to look over his shoulder. "It's a picture of the murder scene."
There, in grainy black and white, was Mehitable, in the exact position on the floor as my future sister-in-law.
CHAPTER TWELVE
"How did you get this?" I gasped.
Randi shrugged. "In a drawer when we moved in."
"I didn't realize any photos were taken," Rex said. "That wasn't usual back in the day."
I took the picture from him. Sure enough, Mehitable was lying on her right side, facing the kitchen. She was fully dressed, and the cord of a small purse was wound around her left wrist.
"Can we keep this for a little bit?" Rex asked his sister.
"Of course. I'll need it back eventually. To beef up business we were going to stage the whole thing here in the corner, using a swan for Mad Mimi. Ronni thought it would bring in tourists."
To be honest, neither one of us was surprised by this statement. Although I must admit, my stomach clenched a little at the idea, knowing that Edna Lou also wanted this house to be a museum to Mimi's murder.
"I think"—Rex pulled out his cell—"that we need an expert opinion."
* * *
Dr. Body arrived within minutes. We briefed Soo Jin on the story, and she studied the picture. In a strange and twisted way…this was interesting.
We returned the dog to its side to match the photo. Soo Jin walked between the corner and the kitchen door, and then from the main entrance to the corner. Finally, she knelt down by the dog and looked around.
"Okay." Soo Jin stood up and dusted off her hands.
That was when she really looked around her for the first time. The look on her face as she saw two otters in tuxedos knitting, a moose in a varsity jacket getting ready to kick a soccer ball, and two vultures committing arson to a dollar store, was priceless. She started to walk around, examining each and every piece of whimsy that crowded this room.
"This is amazing!" She said at last. "You are real artists!"
Randi beamed, basking in the glow that was Soo Jin. "Thank you! It's so nice to be appreciated!"
The doctor asked, "Do you have anything with turkeys? I really like turkeys."
"I have just the thing! Tell me, do you like history? Because I've got these turkeys dressed as former presidents playing jump rope that…"
Rex cleared his throat. That was all he needed to do. I, on the other hand, wanted her to keep going.
Randi winked at the coroner. "I'll show you in a bit, dear."
Soo Jin snapped back to the present. "Oh! Right! Sorry."
She walked me over to the corner and had me face the kitchen. Then she ran around behind me, raising an imaginary axe over her head and bringing it down on mine. I dutifully crumpled to the floor.
"That's how I think this went down," Soo Jin said. "Death was most likely instantaneous. There aren't any distinguishing footprints, so I'm guessing the killer walked the other way around the table…" Which she then demonstrated. "Before walking out the door."
"She didn't try to defend herself?" Rex asked.
Soo Jin studied the photo one more time. "I don't think so, but it's hard to be one hundred percent sure. I also think the killer was taller than her."
That was when I remembered that Randi had said "them"—pictures, plural. I grabbed the photo and found two more stuck together to the back. The second picture was from the waist up
.
"See?" Soo Jin pointed to the dead woman's arms and hands. "No defensive wounds. I think she was shocked and it happened very quickly."
"Could it have been thrown?" I asked. "So she wouldn't see that coming until too late?"
Rex picked up the axe and stood in the kitchen doorway, pretending to hurl it overhead. The ceilings were too low. It didn't happen that way.
"Is this the original ceiling?" I asked. "Maybe they were higher and over the years people lowered it?"
Randi shook her head. "We were told that the ceiling was old when we bought the place."
I walked over to the spot where Rex stood and looked up. There was a strange mark on the ceiling, which, considering all the water damages spots, was tough to notice. I grabbed a stepladder and moved closer.
"There are a couple of holes in the ceiling." I took a picture with my cell. "Maybe from nails?"
Soo Jin nodded. "Probably hooks. They used to hang herbs from the ceiling to dry them out."
I climbed back down and set the ladder aside. "I guess nothing out of the ordinary then."
"What did you think you'd find?" Rex seemed amused.
"A gash or dent from the axe." I swung the axe up over my head, and it smacked into the ceiling.
"Sorry." I handed the weapon back to my fiancé.
"Can we borrow these photos?" Rex asked Randi.
"Of course! Now"—she turned to Soo Jin—"would you like to see the turkey presidents?"
Rex and I fled back to the reasonable sanity of his car.
"It was definitely murder then," I said, as if trying to convince myself.
"I'd say so," Rex replied. "I just don't see how she could fall on top of an axe and end up on her side with the axe in her forehead. It had to be murder."
"And the only suspects we have are Eustace and Peggy McMurtry—the cousin," I mused.
"Looks like it," Rex said. "Eustace had motive and opportunity. He had a farm, so he probably knew how to handle an axe."
Something seemed wrong about this theory. "Eustace displayed no hostility towards his sister. He had money and didn't need hers."
Rex adjusted in his seat to face me. "Murders, in my experience, are over love or money in most cases. And just because someone has money, doesn't mean they don't need more. People are naturally greedy. Eustace may have been well-off, but that doesn't mean he didn't want more."
"I suppose…" I wasn't quite convinced. "She hasn't found a will, but Edna told me that it was rumored Mad Mimi left everything to her llama, Tinkles."
Rex frowned. "Leaving your fortune to your pet is a relatively new invention from this century. Do we know how that played out? Who was responsible for taking care of the money for the llama?"
I shrugged. "It's getting late. Let's grab some dinner, and tomorrow I'll ask Edna. If she knows about the will, she must've seen it."
"Good idea." Rex started the car.
After a quick bite to eat at Oleo's, Rex got a call from the office and dropped me off at home.
There was a car in my driveway. A black SUV. I only knew of one person who drove that particular car.
"What are you doing here?" I loomed over Riley Andrews, my former boss and brief ex-boyfriend who was sitting on my couch with my traitorous cats in his lap. I slammed the door behind me, causing the beasts to scatter.
He grinned. "Nice to see you too, Wrath."
What was this man doing back in my life? Riley and I had worked together for years—me as a spy, him as my handler. And we'd worked well together. Too well. At one point our relationship had turned romantic.
I wasn't sure why I'd fallen for his charms after years of watching him hit on countless other women. Some were part of the job, others…well…
I should've known better. But espionage was lonely work where you toiled in a foreign country with just one other CIA agent. Eventually that other person, whose tricks you were completely aware of, started looking pretty good.
It didn't help that Riley was attractive, with his wavy blond surfer hair that was a bit too long for regulation and blue eyes that could melt the panties off even the toughest German prison matron. The problem with Riley was, he was a terrible womanizer, pursuing gorgeous women like a starved lion at an all-meat barbecue. He didn't take women seriously. To be honest, he didn't take life seriously.
And when he turned those attentions on me, in spite of what I knew, I was a goner. I'd always thought of it as the stupidest moment of my career. But it was also one of the most passionate. Riley was irresistible, and when he looked at me, I felt like my underwear was on fire.
Unfortunately, it came to an end when I caught him with another woman. Only in the last year did I realize that it had all been a misunderstanding and I didn't really see what I thought I'd seen. Or maybe I wanted out of the hot-and-bothered mess.
That was also about the time Riley started showing up in my life again—turning his charm all the way up to one million and leaving me breathless. He'd admitted that he still had unresolved feelings for me. The question was then, and possibly now, did I feel the same way?
I sat down in the chair opposite him. "Don't tell me…you're working on a case."
After an "issue" with the agency, Riley had transferred to the FBI. I wasn't even sure you could do that. He was stationed in Omaha, a little more than two hours away, and always seemed to find a reason to stop in Who's There, usually by breaking into my house.
"You still have my key?" I held my hand out.
He didn't hand it over. "I'm not working on a case. I wanted to bounce something off of you. I'm thinking of leaving the FBI, moving to Des Moines, and opening a private investigation firm."
He studied my reaction. "I'm guessing by the fact that your mouth is hanging open that you're surprised by this idea."
Somehow, I managed to close my mouth.
"For a moment I thought you said…"
"…that I'm moving into the area to work full-time. Yes, I said that."
A million thoughts went through my head, and I found it tough to compartmentalize them. Emotions wove a crazy quilt through them, ranging from astonishment to confusion to anger.
"Why would you do that?" I finally said. "You're used to big cities and dangerous assignments. You'd be bored out of your mind here."
He rubbed his chin. "Des Moines is a big city—I could live there. And with all the crazy crap that happens around you in a small town like this, I doubt I'd ever be bored."
My heart was hammering a hole in my chest. "You can't be serious."
Riley shrugged. "Maybe I want to get out of this field. Maybe I'm thinking of settling down somewhere. Meeting the right woman, starting a family."
My throat stopped working. I couldn't even swallow. I'd just gotten over my insomniatic anxiety over marrying Rex. I did not need Riley coming along to confuse things, or worse, try to get me back.
"It's not so farfetched." Riley relaxed. "You did it."
I found my voice. "Not because I wanted to! I was forced to retire!"
"You could've joined the FBI, or Homeland Security, or something like that. Lived in DC or New York. Instead, you came here. And you seem reasonably happy."
I narrowed my eyes at those last two words. "I am happy! Besides, this is my hometown—it's natural for me to come back here. You're from LA. Why don't you go 'settle' there?"
He laughed. "Yes, you're so contented that you bite my head off over the least little thing. I can see that's working well for you."
The rage that welled up in my head was matched only by the doubt that I was happy. Something in my expression must've caused some alarm, because he looked worried.
"Look, it's just something I'm exploring. It's not set in stone."
"And your reasons for not moving back to the West Coast?"
Riley toyed with a thread on my couch that wasn't there and said quietly, "There are some things here that I don't think I can find there."
I threw my arms up into the air and screamed. This
man could make me insane. I wondered if I should just kill him and be done with it. I could probably hide a body in my basement and get rid of it under nightfall…
Riley got to his feet. "I should go. I have a meeting in the big DM in half an hour." He seemed to be waiting for me to stand up.
I remained where I was. No way was I going to stand up and have him hug me or kiss me or anything dangerous like that.
"Don't call it the big DM," I said. "Nobody does that."
"I'll let myself out." He gave me a wink before he left.
For about forty-five minutes, I sat there, staring at the wall. Philby jumped into the air in front of me, but I barely saw her. All I could think about was how I was going to lose my mind if Riley moved to the area. And if he did…
I was well and truly wubbled.
I had to wait until dusk. That was when the zoo was really empty. Obladi Zoo closed at five, and for a couple of hours the staff would clean stalls and feed the animals. After that there were maybe one or two people there. I could dodge them.
Hauling myself up and over the fence, I pulled out the key I'd had made to the aviary and let myself in. The birds largely ignored me except for a scarlet macaw who said, "There she is again! Go home, Ms. Wrath!"
"What the…"
"Squawk! She's a weirdo!" The bird stuck its tongue out at me.
It took me a moment to figure out it must be because of that kid who always seemed to catch me here. How many times did he say that for the bird to remember it?
Mr. Fancy Pants spotted me right away and stared directly at my bag. Using another key that technically didn't exist (because I'd stolen and copied it on the sly), I let myself in and sat on the log. The king vulture jumped up next to me, his eyes riveted on the bag.
Reaching in very slowly, I pulled out a handful of shortbread Girl Scout Cookies and set them on the branch between us. The bird devoured them. I repeated this process until the entire box was gone.
When he realized the cookie fest was over, he sat up and stared at me with his googly eyes.
"So," I said with as much dignity as I could muster when talking to a vulture, "Riley's thinking of moving here. Well…not here, here. But close. And he wants to start a private eye business."
Merry Wrath Mysteries Boxed Set Volume III (Books 7-9) Page 10