by Jane Carter
Diana groaned. ‘What about you two? Will you come?’
‘I don’t suppose Mal will have a problem getting the time off.’ She grinned. The phone rang and Rosie reached over to answer it.
‘Hi, Philly.’ She smiled across at Diana and then frowned. ‘Honestly! The money was supposed to last you to the end of term … Yes, I suppose so. How’s everything apart from that? Fine. Diana’s here for dinner … Yes, I’ll give her your love. Bye, darling.’
Rosie brought the cordless phone over to the couch with her. ‘That, as you might have guessed, was Phillipa. She’s run out of money again. She lived on campus last year, but now she’s moved into a flat with a few friends since February. Apparently they don’t have enough to pay the electricity bill. You’d have thought they’d have put money away for the essentials.’
‘All depends on what your priorities are.’ Diana grinned. ‘You must be pretty proud of her.’
‘We are, oh yes. But I miss her.’ Rosie’s eyes filled with tears. ‘She’ll be back in July. It seems an eternity away. You must be so thrilled with your three. I adore Saskia, and Milo is so earnest and always asking questions. Mal says he’s a hoot. I haven’t got through to Sienna yet, though. I would have loved to have more kids,’ she sighed. ‘But it wasn’t to be.’
Diana studied her wineglass, running her finger around the rim. She knew all about the IVF program Rosie had taken on after she’d had Milo. ‘The kids are pretty good—amazing, considering they’re in a strange country with their father dead eight weeks and living with people they don’t know.’
‘It might take a little while but kids are resilient, you know,’ Rosie said.
‘I don’t think we were particularly resilient after Cody died. It took ages for me to get back to anything normal again.’
‘You’re right. It wasn’t until Philly was born that I got back to normal again. We all adored her. She was our gift. Our atonement. But it does get better, Diana.’
‘Yeah, I guess I know that.’
‘Diana, I want to apologise. I was so jealous when you came back the last time. Swinging in with this up himself, English husband, who treated us like dirt—’ Rosie stopped. ‘I’m sorry, but that was how he seemed to us. No one paid any attention to me or Phillipa, you were the proverbial prodigal daughter. I’d been picking up the pieces, keeping everyone going, but there you were, taking all the limelight again. I shouldn’t be saying this. But I know I behaved badly,’ she whispered, her eyes bright.
Diana sat stunned. Then she got up and joined her sister on the couch and reached for her hand. ‘Oh God, Rosie, if you only knew how scared I was. Charlie was terrified I’d want to stay in Australia. He wasn’t rational. Mum and Dad were being impossible. I think they were hurt we got married so suddenly.’
‘Of course they were. We all wanted to be included.’
Diana took her sister in her arms, felt the tears running down her cheeks as well. She wasn’t sure how long they sat there. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘No, I’m sorry Diana, really sorry.’
To hear that at last. To be able to let out just a little part of the pain. Share the hurt. Diana was so sick of being strong for everyone else.
‘Good Lord, I’m turning into a watering pot. Where are the tissues?’
‘In the kitchen, on the counter.’
Diana got up and went to find the tissues, and stopped at the picture of Cody sitting on a swing, smiling cheekily into the camera. ‘Well, that’s one thing I suppose, we’ve got lots of pictures of Cody. We never stopped taking pictures of her. I wonder what she’d be like, what she’d have done, if she’d had the chance? She’d be thirty-one now.’ Her eyes smarted, she sniffed. Now she’d started, she might not stop.
‘I know,’ said Rosie. ‘But you simply can’t go down that road. The thing is, Di, we were so lucky to have her. Just be grateful for what time we had.’
‘All very well for you to say, you weren’t in charge that night.’
‘Bloody hell, Diana, I was there too. Stop thinking you were the only person there that night. Between you and Mum, sometimes it’s like I don’t exist.’
Diana looked at Rosie. ‘I’m sorry. Perhaps you’re right.’
Carrying the box of tissues and the picture of Cody, Diana walked back to the couch. ‘Being so far away, I put everyone in a sort of time capsule. You all stayed the same, Phillipa stayed nine, the farm was always green. It was the only way I could cope. I had to rely on myself.’
‘You’ve always been tough, Di, and strong. I wish I had your strength.’ Rosie pulled out a handful of tissues and blew her nose.
If she said that again, Diana just might hit her. ‘Well, I needed it when I came home and found you two engaged.’
‘You didn’t love Mal, Diana. You might have thought he was going to wait around forever, but he wasn’t.’
Diana looked at Rosie. She mightn’t have wanted Mal to wait forever, but they might have said something to prepare her, just … something.
‘No, I didn’t love Mal. But I did love the farm,’ she said slowly. ‘That’s what you took from me.’
‘Well, it’s all been for the best. Look what you ended up with—a career, three kids, a house in London.’
Diana looked at Rosie. Her sister hadn’t just said that, had she? She’d forgotten to add ‘dead husband’. Perhaps she’d best change the subject right there. ‘Tell me about these vegetables. Since when did you start growing vegies?’
Rosie laughed. ‘It was because of the chooks. I had all this manure and I read a book about growing organic vegetables, and so I tried some zucchinis. Well, you’ve never seen anything like it. We had zuchs for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still they kept coming. It all started from there and now I’m obsessed, particularly with this organic theory. Now the hospital want more eggs, and I’ve just bought more chickens to be able to give them a regular supply.’
Diana lifted her head to see Mal stop and hesitate before clearing his throat and coming in. He’d taken his coat off and was still dirt streaked and dusty and smelling of cows. Funny what a completely different smell it was to sheep. Her father smelled of sheep when he came in at night. They both looked filthy and tired. The two had that in common.
‘Hello, Diana. Rosie.’ Mal leafed through the mail on the benchtop. ‘I presume you two are all right, I don’t need to get the mop out.’ He laughed. ‘Don’t suppose you’d like to go and cry outside. It might get the message and bring on some rain.’
‘We’ve just been talking.’ Rosie jumped up and threw herself at him, burying her face in his chest.
‘So I gathered. Hey, I’m covered in muck.’ Mal said, disentangling himself.
‘What sort of a day did you have?’ Diana asked.
‘So, so. Feeding cattle is a never-ending task. We’re thinking of sending some on agistment, up north. Tim’s getting on to it, should get back to me tonight.’ He was systematically opening the mail, reading it and screwing up the rubbish.
‘Is that Tim Spelling from school, football god to all us mere mortals?’ And bully, if Diana remembered correctly.
Mal nodded. ‘He’s got the local Stock and Station Agency in town.’
‘Philly rang,’ Rosie interrupted. ‘Apparently she needs money to pay the electricity bill. She’s sending us an email.’
‘She’s supposed to have enough to cover that,’ said Mal. ‘I’m getting a bit sick of this. When she comes back in July we’re going to have to talk. She can have the money as an advance on next semester’s money.’
‘You can’t do that. I don’t want her to run short.’
‘She can get a job then. Plenty of students work part-time.’ He paused, scanning the letter in front of him. ‘Apparently you haven’t paid our electricity either.’ He threw the overdue bill at her and turned in the direction of the bedrooms.
‘Bloody hell.’ Rosie went into the kitchen and started slicing a loaf of bread.
Diana was beginning to think this
may not have been a good night to come. ‘Mal looks tired.’ Rosie didn’t answer. ‘Do you have the internet? Could I use your computer? I cannot understand why Mum and Dad don’t get one. Actually I think Mum secretly would like the challenge.’
Rosie laughed. ‘Oh dear, did you bring it up? I bet I know how that was received. Of course, I think it’s turned on.’ She gestured vaguely in the direction of the computer. ‘The internet is very slow, we can only get dial up. You’re right. Mal is tired and so am I! Don’t mind us. I work too, a fact he seems to conveniently overlook and I hate paying bills. It all comes back to his frustration that he can’t take over Mog’s Hill. He’s forty-one soon. The other problem I can’t see an answer to is the cattle versus sheep issue. It’s a biggie. They’ve argued over it for years. Mal could see there was money in cattle but Dad wouldn’t hear of it. There sure as hell hasn’t been any money in sheep. Men, I’m so sick of them!’
Diana didn’t look up as she went to sit down at the computer.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I say these things.’
‘Does Mal see how the farm is running down?’ Diana asked. ‘Gates need to be re-hung, fences are falling over, even just a general tidy-up. Dad doesn’t seem to see the mess.’
‘He’s given up. Dad is impossible—he’s so hard to help.’
The phone rang.
‘Hi Tim … Yes he is. Mal, it’s for you,’ Rosie called.
Diana opened her email account. She got a shock to see so many. Her next door neighbour was wondering what to do with all her mail. Bills probably, though she wondered if there was any money. She emailed back the postal address at Mog’s Hill.
She wasn’t surprised to see one from Sebastian.
‘Darling! I miss you terribly. I need more pots. Time to get back to the real world. September is scurrying along.’
Smiling to herself, she typed her reply that she needed a holiday and he should stop being such a slave driver. However difficult it was living at home with her parents she simply couldn’t face going back at the moment. Too bad, she thought, scrolling down some more. Megan was asking her when she was bringing the kids down to meet her. It had been ages since they’d seen each other. It was always fascinating catching up with Meg’s latest fad, whether it was painting, sculpture or her latest necklace creation. But Diana couldn’t actually see how they were going to get down there either, there seemed to be so much happening at home.
Johann! She hadn’t heard from him in years.
‘Diana, so sorry to hear about Charlie. I am in England for a few months—or in and out, more likely. I’d love to see you again. Here’s my number, Johann.’
‘What’s amazing?’ Rosie walked up to look over her shoulder. She’d obviously voiced her surprise.
‘Johann Pollack. Do you remember? We used to flat together—Johann, Paul, Megan and I, the four musketeers. Johann had put a notice up on the board at college for a room to let, and Megan and I both turned up at the same time.’ Diana laughed. ‘We decided to toss for it and both called out tails. We couldn’t stop laughing and decided it was definitely a sign we would share the room. Luckily Johann made the decision to get a larger flat the next term.’ Diana turned back to the computer. ‘He’s in England and says he wants to come and see me. That’s so lovely of him; he was always a very thoughtful person. But I’m not going to be there.’ She typed a quick reply and then exited the program.
‘All the old boyfriends gathering around, I take it? Didn’t take long.’ Mal was back freshly showered, refilling her empty wineglass.
‘Johann was never a boyfriend.’
‘Just one of those platonic friends you used to claim, was he?’
‘Yes.’ Diana frowned at Mal. She couldn’t believe he was standing there sounding … jealous? ‘Johann loved Paul actually.’
She watched curiously as Mal took meat out of the fridge and spices from the pantry, like he knew what he was doing and was going to start cooking.
‘Paul died, didn’t he?’ Rosie said.
‘Oh yes, nearly fifteen years ago now. I never got to go to his funeral. It was so sad.’ Diana took a sip of her wine. ‘Is Phillipa enjoying uni?’
‘Oh, she loves it.’ Rosie came and sat down next to her. She was obviously happy to let Mal take over the cooking. ‘She’s got Granny’s car now, which makes getting home a little easier.’
‘It was the best time the four of us had,’ Diana said, a little wistfully. ‘Did you miss not going away?’
‘It’s funny, but I didn’t really. Mal was a deciding factor, I didn’t want to go away.’ Rosie raised her glass to clink with Diana’s. ‘But that was then. That’s not to say I don’t want to go now. I do, I’d give anything to go now. I’m a late starter, that’s all.’ Rosie grinned.
Diana snuck a look at Mal, studiously concentrating on cutting up onions. It didn’t look like he thought much of that remark of Rosie’s.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Empty plates and knives and forks were pushed to one side. Mal held the wine bottle over Rosie’s glass and, at her nod, filled hers too.
‘So when did you learn how to make a stir-fry, Mal?’ said Diana. ‘I can’t remember you cooking.’
‘Rosie was watching all these cooking shows and all the cooks were men. But suddenly there was Nigella Lawson and I was hooked.’ There was the old Mal smile.
‘Now I can’t get him out of the kitchen, not that I’m complaining.’ Rosie ducked as Mal threw a piece of onion at her. ‘What about the races, Mal? Are we going?’ she asked.
‘Patrick’s hired a marquee, booked a space and has organised someone to do the food. So yes.’
Rosie began gathering up plates and glasses. ‘Ooh, I might have to buy a hat. Want to come shopping with me, Di?
‘I don’t like shopping, never have, and I don’t want a hat, thanks.’
Mal got up. ‘Who’s for coffee?’
‘Yes, please. What do you want, Diana?’
‘Black, thanks.’ She watched with astonishment as Mal went to the bench and started measuring coffee into a magnificent coffee machine.
Rosie dimpled. ‘This is Mal’s new passion. He can make you anything. Lattes, flat whites … I’d love a cappuccino, thank you. His tiramisu is to die for, unfortunately he didn’t have time to make it for you.’
‘How do you get on with Patrick, Mal?’ Diana asked as she stacked the placemats.
‘He’s all right. For a city bloke. Drives a hard bargain. He’s got Irish blood, you know, got all the blarney as well. But Tim’s not in his good books at the moment. Only half the mob of heifers we bought last month is in calf. Doesn’t like being made a fool of, does our Patrick. Having said that, he goes along with most things. There’s always a bottom line but I can usually get through to him, and the bills get paid. What more can you ask?’
Diana thought about that for a minute. If he was her boss, probably a bit more.
Mal served them their coffees. ‘I’ll let you ladies get back to the deluge. I’m bushed. See you in the morning, Diana. I’d appreciate you talking to Tom and Stella, maybe you can get them to retire. Rosie can’t seem to move them.’
‘That’s not fair, Mal. If you’d just say you weren’t going to sell all the sheep, maybe they’d change their minds,’ Rosie spat back.
‘It’s got nothing to do with sheep or cattle, it’s about money to live on.’
‘Well, why don’t they lease the place to you?’ Diana asked.
‘Because,’ said Rosie, ‘if you’d noticed, over the last ten years there’s been a drought and no one’s making a living off a farm, let alone able to lease and come out on top. We’re all going deeper into debt. We couldn’t run Mog’s Hill unless Mal gave up his job.’ Rosie turned on her. ‘Why don’t you lease it, if you’ve got so much money.’ She stalked off out of the room.
Mal sighed. ‘We own this house, and I could borrow half a million against it. But by the time I’d put in new cattle yards and re-fenced Mog’s Hill a
nd bought the cattle and paid the lease, there’d be no money for us to live on.’
Diana looked at Mal. ‘Jeez, I’m sorry.’
‘We’re just tired of it all. Thing is, your father said he’d retire at seventy and he isn’t showing any signs of it.’
‘Have you talked to him properly?’
‘He does not respond rationally to those sort of conversations at the moment, and hasn’t for some months.’
Diana could easily believe it.
‘Well, I’m for bed. Goodnight, Diana.’ He stood up.
‘Just before you go, Mal, what on earth is an air seeder?’
* * *
‘I’m so glad Rosie and Diana are having some time to themselves,’ said Stella.
‘Mmm. Hope it doesn’t bring on World War Three,’ Tom grunted. He was already in bed.
Stella slipped on her nightie and jumped in beside him. ‘Ohh, thank heavens for electric blankets,’ she said blissfully, with her eyes closed.
‘Your feet are freezing,’ Tom complained.
‘I remember way back, a long time ago, you used to warm them up for me.’
‘Then I bought you an electric blanket. Stop wriggling and turn off the light.’ He rolled over, away from her, she noticed.
‘I had so much fun tonight, Tom. I loved it when the older two helped Saskia with her words. They get on well, don’t they?’
‘Mmm.’
‘Do you think they’ll stay?’
‘Don’t be crazy, Stella. What do you think Diana would do with herself here? Her world has changed. She’d never fit back in here again.’
‘She could pot, and bring up her children, teach maybe,’ Stella said wistfully.
‘Dreamtime, Stella. Rosie and Diana in the same town! It’s hard enough keeping the two of them apart as it is. Why have they got to be at each other’s throats all the time? Beats me.’
‘That’s not fair, Tom, they have different ways of solving things, that’s all. The eldest versus the middle child, the grass is always greener syndrome.’ She turned over and pulled the doona up to her chin. ‘She’s still wandering around at night.’