“Now, is everything all right? Why have you come here, to see me?” Svan reached over and placed his hand on my arm in a grip.
“For your teaching.” My neck grew red from lying to him.
“You have a brother in a chair?” Svan removed his hand from my arm.
“Yes.” I trembled, thinking of him being held prisoner by the ur’gel, “How did you know?”
“He was also in my dream. He’s somewhere he doesn’t want to be.” Svan squinted as he rested his back on his throne.
My hands were numb as they fell to my side. I didn’t notice my feet rocking back and forth from anxiety.
“The ur’gel have him.” I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Once I told Svan, he had to help me. We were dreamwalkers.
“Xagu and his men?” Svan asked.
“Yes.” I hoped he would know what to do.
“What do they want from you?”
I stood and rung my hands, trying to get the feeling back. I paced back and forth debating with myself on telling Svan everything that had happened.
“Aria.” Svan raised and took me by my arm as he brought me back to my seat. “We dreamwalkers must stick together.”
“They want me to release someone.” I took a large gulp. “From a prison.”
Svan’s jaw tightened. “Have you done as they wished?”
“No. But I have seen the man. Several times.”
“And his name is?” Svan asked.
I wanted to say that I didn’t know his name. I wanted to protect Beru. It wasn’t his fault that Xagu had sent me to rescue him.
“Beru Halsted.” His name crossed my lips for better or worse.
Svan stood and walked over to the window. His hands turned to fists. I wanted to go after him, but I couldn’t move.
“Do you know what will happen if you release that monster?” Svan turned back to me as his lips quivered.
I shook my head no, too afraid to say Beru wasn’t a monster.
“If you release Beru, you will bring an evil unlike anything anyone has seen since the Dark wars.”
“I refuse to help you further.” Svan retreated from the front room, down the hall, and back to the bedroom.
I stood there, confused and conflicted at what I had just been told. Svan being upset with me was unexpected, and now I had no idea how I should feel toward Beru and his part in the Dark Wars. I sat back down, feeling woozy on my feet. Coldness crept into the room, and suddenly it was uninviting.
As I glanced down the hallway at his door, I figured I should leave. But I needed to know more. I had so little information about Beru and desperately wanted to learn more. I pushed my growing feeling for him aside for the first time and committed to doing this fully for Gavin. Perhaps I could talk Svan into helping me without freeing Beru.
Deep in thought, I hadn’t noticed that a woman entered the room, one of the ladies in the garden from earlier.
“Svan would like to offer you a room to stay. He is resting now but would like to discuss things at supper with you.” The woman stood hunched over in a bow like I was someone of importance.
“Yes, I would like that very much,” I accepted his offer with relief. My body sank into the chair and relaxed. We would clear the air at supper, and he would help me get my brother back. Beru would stay in prison, and everything would go back to normal.
I followed the woman as she led me down another hallway to a bedroom.
“May I get you anything?” She opened the door and gestured for me to enter.
“No, I’m fine thanks.” I threw my bag on top of the bed.
The woman turned and left me. I plopped back on the bed. It was just as comfortable as Svan’s bed. My mind shifted as I thought about how the mattress was made and how Mother would not believe me when I told her how soft it was. It was safer to think of little things than the mountain of mess I had to figure out.
I curled up on the bed, and in no time, my eyes drooped. I was exhausted from the day’s events.
Almost immediately I saw the prison with Beru standing in front of me, aware I had dreamwalked.
“I told you not to come back here,” Beru barked from where he sat in front of the fire.
“It’s not my choice,” I scoffed back at him. He was even thinner than the last time I had seen him, if that was possible.
Beru glanced up at me, then flipped over a log for me to sit on next to him.
I hesitated based on Svan’s reaction to freeing Beru. I reasoned with myself. If Beru wanted to hurt me, he would have done it by now.
“Or stand. I don’t care.” He huffed.
I took the seat but moved it a few feet away from him before sitting. Our visits rarely resulted in any new information. He saw me as a nuisance but never questioned me since I was his only company.
“You can’t seem to stay away from paradise.” He smiled. An infrequent occurrence.
“Only place I know how to dreamwalk to.” I picked up a stick he had already broken down so I had something to focus on.
“This wouldn’t be my choice,” he teased.
“You seem happier when I’m here,” I dared to say. He was different when he knew I was around, almost happy.
“Company is hard to come by here, especially the kind that doesn’t want to kill you.” He poked a stick at the fire.
“What about the other men inside?” I asked, having never questioned him.
“Aria, you can’t fix this. No one can.” Beru grieved his loss and accepted it.
I held my tongue and didn’t challenge him. Even if I had told him the plan, he wouldn’t have believed it. If he could be freed, why hadn’t it been tried before? My train of thought changed, and I wondered if he knew what became of his family.
“Do you have any family, any messages I could bring to them?” I was on a role to alienate him.
Beru didn’t move or speak. He took several long breaths, then stood.
“No.” He walked back to the prison.
I got up off my log and walked till I was by his side. I was intrigued to know more about his family, to know if he knew they had been murdered.
“There’s nothing you want to know? For me to find out for you?” My hand reached out to him, then I pulled back as I remembered no touching.
He never stopped, just kept walking right to the door.
“So, you just don’t care,” I called after him, and that caused him to turn back to me.
“I don’t care.” He turned to me with anger. “I’ve been here for over two hundred years. Everyone I love is gone.”
I regretted my tactics as my plan wasn’t to hurt him. His eyes glossed over, and for a moment, I thought he would cry. I thought he would let himself feel emotion. How I desperately wanted to be the shoulder he leaned on, yet I was angry at myself for having the answers he had to be longing for.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to anger you. I just wanted to offer you closure,” I justified my questions to him.
He remained guarded. I was unsure if he would tell me more about his past or shut me out.
“Do you know about my past?” He half turned to me, his eyes on the ground.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I had no voice. I cleared my throat as I begged for more time before I had to speak. There was no need to discuss his leaving this prison, for it may not even happen, but he did deserve to know about his family.
“Go find out. About me and my past. Then you won’t come back here,” Beru cautioned.
I stood back as he entered the prison, not bothering to look back at me. My heart sank as his figure disappeared into the doorway. Were my feelings for Beru misguiding me?
I awoke, back in bed at Svan’s, and gasped for air. The room had darkened and now smelled of pork being cooked for supper. Had I missed it? I jumped out of bed and opened the bedroom door. The smell of food filled the house. I walked as fast as I could to the front room, anxious to see how late I had been for supper.
As I rounded the corner, Svan sat
at the table as he ate his food. He didn’t bother to look up at me as I entered and took a seat.
“I’m sorry I fell into a dead sleep,” I offered as his servant placed a plate of food in front of me.
“Dreamwalking?” Svan passed me some salt and pepper.
“Yes. I can’t help it when I’m overtired.” I grimaced, not wanting to make Svan mad again.
“To Beru?” His voice was low, and he filled his fork with food.
“Yes, to Beru. I can’t control where I go. I’ve only ever dreamwalked to the prison.” I figured the truth may sway him back over to my side. I needed him to teach me more than ever now.
“Beru had once been the trusted right-hand man of Onen Suun.” Svan said between bites. “Did you know that?”
“No, I’m afraid I don’t know much about the Dark Wars. Only little things my father told me over the years.” I hoped he would tell me more. I placed my fork down to show my interest.
“There are many versions of the Dark Wars. Misconceptions.”
“How does Beru fit in this story?” I asked, nervous for his reply.
“Beru should have died as many thought. He’s a trickster. Not to be believed.”
My cheeks reddened. I shuddered at the thought of Beru working for anything but good.
“Dag'draath works through his lieutenants so he can touch this world,” Svan added.
Svan’s words stung, as my first instinct was how I had been being played for a fool. I hadn’t asked the right questions, but even if I had, Gavin had been my main reason for agreeing to free Beru. I couldn’t free someone who could cause harm to our world, but I needed to help Gavin.
“You see the conflict.” Svan’s voice was stern. He gripped his fork so tight that his fingertips turned white.
“I do,” I mumbled with my head down, fearful Svan had seen my selfishness.
I shook my head, unsure how to tame my emotions as I fought against my heart. Could I hold something against Beru he did two hundred years ago? How could he have chosen to risk his life for evil?
“This should be an easy choice,” Svan added.
I nodded, however, it wasn’t an easy choice for me. There had to be a mistake. Beru wasn’t evil. I would have been harmed if he had been. He had never shown any brutality toward me, even when I had been bold. I wouldn’t argue with Svan, nor would I tell him my true feelings.
A knock on the door interrupted our conversation. A servant opened the door and brought Sade into the room.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Sade said, entering awkwardly.
“You are most welcome.” Svan stood and nodded to his servant. “Please join us.”
His servant brought over a chair and set a plate for Sade.
“Thank you.” Sade sat in her chair and eyed the mass of food on the table.
Her eagerness to eat reminded me she was not used to home cooked meals. She lived on rice and corn. And the odd thing that she could pillage in the woods.
“So, did you get this dreamwalker thing sorted out?” Sade used her hands to shovel food into her mouth.
I placed my hand on my fork that was set on the table and raised my eyebrows at her.
Sade rolled her eyes at me as she picked up her fork.
Svan sat back and motioned for me to answer her question, then he resumed his meal.
“Yes, Svan has been most helpful. I’ve already learned a lot,” I managed to say with a smile. I figured Sade would see through me, but I prayed she had enough sense to wait to ask questions until we were alone.
“These potatoes....” Sade pointed her fork toward her plate.
“Cooked in dandelion oil.” Svan smiled at Sade as he offered her more potatoes.
“That’s it.” Sade shoveled another spoonful in her mouth.
I let out a silent sigh of relief she hadn’t pushed any further. I wasn’t sure how Sade would take the news. Perhaps she would be mad at me for thinking Beru had been wronged. That I was selfish for saving one person and harming others in return. My arms crossed my stomach as it pained in guilt.
“I will leave you both to talk.” Svan stood.
Sade and I stood right after Svan.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up with you youngsters,” Svan joked as his servant held onto his arm and guided him down the hallway.
Sade and I sat back down and remained silent until his bedroom door closed.
“Spill it.” Sade smiled and leaned toward me as she waited for me to tell her the real story.
“What?” I knew my face would give me away. I was a terrible liar and always had been.
“I didn’t travel all this way to be duped on the good stuff,” Sade expressed.
“Fine.” I gave in. I couldn’t hold out on her, but I dreaded her reaction to what I had just found out.
“There are lots of limitations to dreamwalking. Ones I had no idea about that end in death,” I said overdramatically. I hoped stunning her with the thought of me dying would ease her into the news about Beru. She sat and watched me as she nibbled on her food, waiting for more.
My posture sagged, as I told her about Beru.
“And there’s something about Beru that came up,” I warned, and Sade perked up. “He may have pretended to be on one side but was on another.”
Sade’s mouth dropped open, and she grabbed my arm. Her eyes dashed back and forth as they matched mine. She was speechless. No quick, sharp comments.
I swallowed excessively. My mouth filled with saliva as my nerves ramped up. I hadn’t had time to process today’s events, and now I would be getting another opinion of what I should be doing.
“I don’t think I have ever been this shocked.” Sade cleared her throat several times. “Gavin.” Sade grabbed her chest.
It was comforting to see Sade as unsure as I had been. I couldn’t risk freeing Beru for my brother now. The danger of setting him free was too great. I couldn’t justify risking other people’s lives. Now I had to figure out how to save Gavin and stop Xagu and his men from coming after me.
“Time me?” I asked Sade as I lay back on the bed. I’d decided to dreamwalk with the help of Sade.
“How long?” Sade asked as she looked out at the sun.
I shook my head, not knowing how long I could be under, but guessed on past dreamwalks.
“If you see my body in distress, then pull me back.” I sounded confident, but I had no idea if this would work to keep me safe.
“Understood.” Sade moved her chair over to the window. “Don’t do anything stupid.” She grinned.
I nodded nervously and tried to fall asleep, I had never dreamwalked on command before. It had always just happened. I willed myself to be back with Beru, uncertain if I should question him or not. I focused on him and what I wanted to say. It wasn’t long before I was back at the prison. I tried to hide my grin at my achievement.
“I told you to stay away.” Beru stood in front of me now, his face drawn tight and his voice filled with anger.
“I tried to dreamwalk elsewhere,” I lied. “I ended up here.”
“Why do you keep coming back here, Aria? There is nothing that you can do. This was all decided a long time ago.” Beru lowered his chin to his chest.
Had I opened an old wound with my questions?
Beru opened his mouth to say something but stopped short and turned his back to me.
I’d follow him if he moved. My body tensed as I’d be a fool to think I was safe around him.
“It was a mistake.” I tried to get him to turn back to me. Thoughts of him being a brute were replaced by how kind he had been to me. How happy he had been to see me each time I visited. “You don’t have time to see me?” I called after him. Why was I doing this? I was so confused.
Beru stopped and turned back to me. I couldn’t read his expression. My lips parted, however, no words came out. I couldn’t put two words together while he looked at me that way.
He responded by approaching me—fast.
I
didn’t have time to think about how to react. He stood close to me, his breath on my face. The heat from his body flushed my cheeks.
“Why are you here, Aria?” He didn’t move, his body inches from mine.
I was frozen, barely able to shift my head to the right to avoid his gaze and look toward the ground.
“You don’t know me. You don’t know this place. It changes people.” Beru shook his hand at me angrily. “Leave.”
I held back tears, having never seen him so angry before. He was right. I didn’t know him. I was a fool to think I would somehow be different to him.
“I won’t be back,” I shouted after him. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me.
Beru didn’t say anything. His arms hung by his side, and he watched me almost as if he was willing me to leave.
I closed my eyes and thought about Gavin, Xagu, and the camp. I folded my hands into fists and focused all my energy on being with him. Saving him through dreamwalking.
I opened my eyes, and I was in the woods. Now I needed to figure out where I was. I looked for landmarks that would be familiar. It wasn’t long before I knew. It was where I had scouted out the ur’gel camp before I had found Gavin.
I crouched low, unsure if I was visible or not. I didn’t want to test it until I found Gavin. I crept to the tent my brother had been held in. An ur’gel came up from behind me I hadn’t noticed. He confirmed I was invisible. I forced a huge breath out of my mouth, reassured I could get around easier now.
I walked into the tent, and it was empty. The hair on the back of my neck raised. My nostrils flared as I exited the tent and began my search for my brother in their camp. Xagu better not have lied to me about keeping my brother safe.
It didn’t take me long to find him in another tent. It appeared to be his own tent. Relief set in as Xagu did keep his word. While it wasn’t up to our standards, it was fit for a royal ur’gel. Snails, their staple food, were in abundance around Gavin, which he was clearly not eating.
I needed to get Gavin to see me, but I still hadn’t figured out how to control that part yet. I flailed my arms over my head. Nothing. I held steady and pulled all my energy to my center, visualizing Gavin seeing me. I lifted one eyelid to see if it had worked, but Gavin just stared off into space.
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