by Alisa Adams
It was her first passion-filled one. She had never had a man's lips caressing hers like this before, never had his tongue in her mouth, his arms tightly around her, and holding her to him almost painfully. The new, delightful throbbing inside her quickened and intensified as she gave herself up to it. She soon learned what to do to give back the pleasure she was receiving and was rewarded by his involuntary moan and gasp of delight.
When the kiss ended, he looked down at her with eyes that glittered with passion. "What are you doing to me?" he asked hoarsely. "I have never wanted a woman as much as I want you, Allana. You are like a fire inside me that I cannot - do not want to - put out." He was flushed and breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He was terrified of losing control.
"Ken," she whispered, "I have never felt like this before either, but I think you have awakened something. Is this what always happens between a man and a woman?"
He looked down into her deep brown eyes, now almost black in the moonlight. "Oh, darling," he whispered, "it is what should happen every time between men and women, but it is very rarely like this. Between you and me, there is something else. There is magic and I think there always will be."
"Do it again," she said huskily. "I need more."
He needed no second bidding. His arms wrapped themselves around her so suddenly and so tightly that she squealed in fright, but a second later, she was compliant again, giving herself up to him with her whole being. Kendrick could feel himself losing control as, almost against his will, he lifted the hem of her dress, not thinking of the consequences of his actions, where they were, or who could see them. A guard had already passed them without them even being aware of it, but he was so accustomed to such sights that he did not even acknowledge their presence. However, soon they heard a noisy party of guests coming toward them.
Later, Allana wondered what would have happened if she had not heard those people, but at that moment, she suddenly became aware of what Kendrick was doing. She sprang backward and gave one shocked cry, her eyes wide with alarm and disbelief. Then she turned and fled.
Allana had abandoned herself to ecstasy. She had been kissed before, but she had no idea that it could feel like this. Now that Kendrick had pulled her into his arms, he had taken her to a world that she could never have imagined. It was made up of exquisite touches and caresses that made her skin tingle and an intense thrill inside her that was new and so pleasurable that it had made her lose her head for a moment.
Moreover, his lips were so soft and so mobile while the touching of tongues was something she had never heard of people doing before, this was her first experience. At first, she had thought it some sort of perversion, but it felt so wonderful that after a moment she did not care. Allana knew that it was something she should not have been doing. He was too experienced for a sheltered young woman like her and she was expected to marry a Laird or a Laird's son at least. What was happening to her?
She took fright and ran back into the Great Hall, unaware that she was being watched.
Kendrick was stunned, for a moment, wondering what had just happened. She had been so willing, so accommodating, but one sudden noise had startled her as if she had been a skittish horse. He stood, frustrated and unfulfilled for a moment and then decided to leave. He was furious. Not only had she rejected him, but she had humiliated him too, and he had no idea what to do next.
Kendrick stood irresolute for a few moments and then made his way to the stables to fetch his horse. He took one regretful look back at the festivities, trying to see where Allana was, but she had disappeared amongst the crowd. He mounted his horse and rode out of the castle gates as if the hounds of hell were after him.
7
After the Ceilidh
Bettina was stunned. When she saw Allana and Kendrick leave the hall, she followed them surreptitiously. She lost sight of them for a moment and then saw them again a few seconds later creeping into an alcove where they began to embrace and kiss passionately. At first, she was shocked then, as she watched, she became fascinated then excited. If Allana found another man to marry, perhaps Bettina could have Nevin after all!
Now, she was enthralled and was almost disappointed when a party of revelers came around the corner and unwittingly interrupted them. She saw Allana jerk backward, but was not close enough to see the expression of alarm on her face or her cry of fright as she turned and ran back into the Great Hall. She watched Kendrick's departure with grim satisfaction and then went to find her sister.
At first, Bettina could not see her sister, but then she caught sight of her running up the stairs. Threading her way through the crowd, Bettina followed Allana up to her bedroom. With a perfunctory knock, she entered behind her. Allana had flung herself on the bed but turned as she heard Bettina come in. For a moment, they stared at each other and then Allana turned her face into the pillow and burst into a storm of weeping.
Bettina lay down beside her sister and pulled Allana's head on to her shoulder. "Shh…" she whispered, "did he hurt you?"
"No," she sobbed, "it was wonderful. I am just so happy!"
Bettina was astonished. "I thought you were promised to Nevin," she said.
Allana sat up and wiped her eyes then stared at her sister. "Bettie, I am promised to no-one!" she replied. "Father and Nevin were talking about it when his father died, but no agreement was ever reached. I am still free to do as I please."
"But you are expected to be married to a Laird or a Laird's son," Bettina pointed out, her love for her sister stronger than her desire to be wed to Nevin. "You know hardly anything about Kendrick Muir. He may be a pauper or simply after your wealth. He may be the kind of man who uses women for his own ends."
"But Bettie, when he touches me..." She shook her head, fighting for the right words to express herself. "I am on fire. He sets me free—oh, I cannot explain it."
"But Allie, that is only your body speaking, not your brain." Bettina took her by the shoulders and shook her. "Think of your future!"
"I want to marry for love," Allana said firmly.
"Do you love him?" Bettina asked.
Allana paused for a moment, then looked away and sighed. "I love what he does to me," she whispered.
Bettina suddenly realized what she was doing. She was encouraging her sister to marry the man Bettina loved. Now, that she had spoken her mind, she would cease to do so. Instead, she would concentrate on making Nevin love her. Allana had her chance and had made her choice, now it was Bettina’s turn.
However, now she was faced with a dilemma. Should she, or should she not tell Nevin about Allana and Kendrick? Would he be angry with her for being the bearer of such bad news? Or would he be grateful to her for sparing her possible humiliation and heartbreak? Of course, she reasoned, there will be heartbreak for him whatever happened unless Allana marries him and even then, it would probably be a marriage without love.
But Bettina had to be realistic. If Nevin came out of mourning and decided to marry Allana despite everything, whether she told him or not, then so be it. She would have to learn to move on. However, if her father and he could come to no agreement, she would plead her own case. She would not lie down and let fate dictate to her. She would make her own destiny.
At the end of the night, there was a heap of blankets, clothes, food, mittens, hats, and innumerable other items, some useful, some not. Allana was almost crying with joy. “Look, Mother!” she cried in wonder. “Nobody - absolutely nobody - came empty-handed!”
Edme put her arms around her daughter. “You have a heart of gold, sweetheart,” she said, her voice tender and proud as she kissed Allana. The evening had been a resounding success and would go on to become an annual event.
Christmas came and went, but Nevin's mourning period dripped away with agonizing slowness. He was impatient to get on with his life. He had spent the last five months working and thinking about Allana and wondering whether any other man was courting her, had turned her head, or made
her fall in love with him.
Haunting him still was the promise he had made to his father. From time to time, it would come back to him, and he would see his father's agonized face and hear his tired, breathless voice and then for a while, guilt would consume him. But he had made up his mind. Allana was going to be his wife and no-one could stop that unless it was Allana herself. However, Allana and he were meant to be together and he could not imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else.
Now, he had one month to go and he was counting the days until the end of January. Then he could go to see Allana's father again, this time as a Laird in his own right with all the wealth and authority that the title bestowed on him. But he needed to make some drastic changes. The first thing he did was clear out his wardrobe and distribute his clothes among the servants before acquiring new ones. Allana was going to see a new Nevin Kirk from now on!
He called his manservant, Kenny, into his office. “Kenny, things are going to change around here!” he declared, his voice firm and authoritative.” You and I are going to walk around every foot of this castle. Everything that is old must be sold or given away. Everything! Paintings, curtains, furniture, carpets, and especially all those old animal heads that are gathering dust!”
Kenny looked at his master, alarmed. “As ye say, m’laird, but whit brought this on?”
“I will be taking a bride one day, Kenny,” he answered. “I do not want to bring her into a mausoleum! Come!”
Then he strode out, leaving a very bemused Kenny to follow him. The village benefited from everything that was disposed of and in a few weeks, new modern furniture and fittings were installed.
Gwenda was thrilled. “Nevin, do you not see?” she asked him, enchanted by the beauty around her. “This is a sign. The end of our mourning and the beginning of our fresh start!” She hugged him. “It is wonderful!”
One afternoon, Gwenda found Nevin in the library sitting alone and staring into the fire. He was concentrating, his brows drawn together in a frown, and he started when he saw her.
“Nevin?” She smiled at her son and put her hand on his shoulder. “You look worried. Can I help?”
Nevin had been thinking hard about his situation with Allana, especially since word had spread that she was seen spending time with another gentleman, but now he smiled at his mother. “Just thinking about Allana,” he replied. “I am worried she is having second thoughts.”
Gwenda had known David’s misgivings about the older Dundas girl, but she did not have the ability nor the desire to oppose him in his last days. If anything, Nevin had become more determined than ever to marry Allana. However, David was gone now and what Nevin had said had given her hope.
Gwenda would have been much happier if she had been able to channel his affections toward Allana’s sister Bettina who was steadier, more biddable, and more conventional. She suspected that Bettina would welcome such a match. But Gwenda did not want to hurt any of them, so if she took action it would have to be done very subtly. And we shall see have to see how Allana truly feels, she thought.
“Would you care if she was?” she asked, sipping her wine and looking at him shrewdly.
He looked at his mother as if she was mad. “Of course, I would care!” he said hotly. “Allana is the only woman I have ever wanted, Mother! Now please excuse me, I have work to do.” He strode off to his office, leaving her feeling a little shocked.
Gwenda sat for a while, nursing her glass and thinking. A little test, that is the answer, she decided. One that will not hurt anyone. She planned a dinner for the Dundas and Kirk families to celebrate the end of the mourning period. She reasoned that even though it had been six months since David died, a ceilidh would still be too festive. So, what could be better than celebrating with their closest friends? However, there would be one little surprise.
8
The Dinner Party
Kendrick resumed his travels, going up through the Highlands and over to Skye, and found that Allana's fame was spreading. Her name was recognized far and wide. The number of knitters she had trained was now in the hundreds. Sitting in a tavern one night and seeing a ball of wool in the landlady’s pocket, he asked her how her knitting business was doing.
“Astonishin’, sir!” she replied. “I am makin’ a fair wee bit o’ siller!”
“So, you are making a good profit?” He raised his glass to her. “Perhaps I should take it up myself!”
The landlady laughed and flapped a hand at him. “‘tis no’a craft for a gentleman like you, sir.”
“And who buys your goods?” he asked.
“Oh, a lovely lady, sir!” The woman’s homely face creased into a happy smile. “Comes fae class, ye can hear it in her voice, but she doesnae look doon on ye! An’ bonnie wae it!”
“I hope I meet her,” Kendrick said, draining his tankard.
That settled it! He was going to make her fortune his and be both her life and her business partner. She was a beautiful woman and even if his feelings for her were not love, he liked her and he certainly lusted after her. Many marriages were built on far less. But he would have to prove himself and that would take hard work. Nevin was now a Laird in his own right and Kendrick would have to take him on head to head.
However, if Allana could be persuaded to fall in love with him, his future would be assured. He would be away from her much of the time when they were married. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, does it not? he thought. Anyway, he could always find consolation elsewhere in taverns and inns. He was staying in his favorite inn in Dundee that night, where he was always assured of a hearty welcome. After a hearty supper of venison stew and several glasses of fine ale, he dropped a shilling into his favorite serving wench's palm.
“Lassie!” He laughed, pulling her down onto his lap. “I don’t suppose you would like to keep me company and warm my bed tonight? I have had a cold, hard day on the road and I am very lonely.”
The woman was plump and plain, but she had a pretty smile. She took the coin from him and bit into it with her sharp teeth to make sure it was not a forgery. Then she laughed. “That is enough for an oor, sir, but if ye gie me anither shillin’ I will stay a’ night!”
He pretended to consider, then pulled another shilling from his money pouch. Eyes twinkling, she kissed him on the cheek with her over-rouged lips and led him upstairs. I may be marrying a Laird's daughter, but in the meantime, I am not a monk! Kendrick reasoned.
Allana and her family could never remember such a wild, terrible night. It was four o'clock in the afternoon, but the sky was fully dark and a ferocious blizzard had swept in from the sea. Fortunately, they had timed their arrival just before its full force hit them. Even so, they were all wet and windswept by the time they got to Kilmunnock Castle and their soaking woolen cloaks had to be taken away to dry by the fires in the kitchen.
"Come in, dears," Gwenda told them then smiled and held out her arms in welcome. "Come and be warm." She led them into the large dining room which was warmed by a roaring fire at each end. They clustered around the nearest one.
"Good God!" Malcolm Dundas said as he blew on his hands then held them out to the bright flames to warm them. "I have never seen such weather!"
Gwenda was busy handing them all glasses of mulled wine. "I will not allow you to return home in this weather," she said firmly. "You will all freeze."
"At any other time, I would refuse, Gwenda," Edme replied, shivering. "But tonight I am grateful to accept on behalf of all of us." Just then, she noticed the purple dress Gwenda was wearing. "My dear," she said delightedly, "you are in half-mourning!"
Gwenda smiled a little sadly. "Yes." She nodded. "It is time to give thanks to God for the wonderful time David and I had and move on. I have made my peace with his death and I must look to the future. Who knows what good things it will hold?"
"I am happy for you, Gwenda," Edme said warmly. "We cannot rejoice, but we can remember him with fondness."
Allana and Bettina embrace
d Gwenda fondly. She had always been like an aunt to them. "Where is Nevin?" Bettina asked, looking around. Allana felt quite ashamed to realize that she had not even noticed his absence.
"Here," announced a voice from the doorway and in walked the man in question, smiling from ear to ear. He greeted all of them, kissing his mother, shaking hands with Malcolm, and bowing to the ladies. His manners were impeccable, even more so than usual, and Allana noticed at once. He was wearing his best plaid and a snowy white linen shirt decorated by a huge Cairngorm stone brooch in an ornamental silver setting. He looked magnificent.
Bettina was quivering inside. She yearned for Nevin to take her in his arms just once and kiss her passionately, so that if she could never have his love, at least she would have that special memory forever. But he only had eyes for Allana and now, he smiled at her, taking in every detail of her dear face, especially the shining dark eyes. Was her hair even more lustrous than before? Was the blush on her cheeks a little rosier? As he bent to kiss her fingertips, he could smell a blend of spicy perfume and her own natural musk, a heady, arousing scent that could drive a man crazy. She was almost irresistible.
Not long now, he consoled himself. Soon, she will be mine!
Gwenda's sharp eyes noticed the interplay between the two girls and her son at once, particularly the way Nevin's gaze was fixed on Allana. Bettina had managed to keep her face perfectly composed, but her hands were clasped tightly together, showing her agitation. Gwenda felt desperately sorry for her. She swung into action.
"Nevin, you are the new Laird," she said, smiling at her son. "Now, you must take your place at the head of the table."