by Alisa Adams
“I am glad I was able to help,” she said, smiling.
Munro looked down at her and felt the stirring of something he had not felt since Catherine’s death: tenderness. Leann was a sensible, rational, and organized woman, but he suspected that she had hidden desires that she admitted to no-one and he could sense that she was as lonely as he was.
“I am not going to stay too long at the party,” she said. “Just long enough to welcome the New Year in. I am so tired.” Leann was also feeling something unfamiliar. She liked Munro and he made her feel safe, but she doubted that she would ever again feel the passion she had experienced with Kendrick. However, she felt a curious sense of peace when she was with him. His eyes were navy blue and when she looked into them, she knew she could trust him. He was not as handsome as Kendrick, but neither was he vain or devious.
Looking back, she was amazed at how Kendrick had deceived her. The signs had all been there, but she had not seen or had not chosen to see them.
“May we speak tomorrow?” Munro asked, “When there is a little less noise?”
She was surprised and frowned. “If you wish,” she replied.
“I will ask Gavin if I can use his office.” Munro smiled. “I will see you at breakfast, Leann and thank you again for your help.”
Leann endured the celebrations. She would have preferred to sleep alone that night since the conversation with Fina and then Munro had quite taken it out of her. However, she could not help wondering why Munro wanted to talk to her so urgently.
Thankfully, she was granted her wish, at least for half the night, since Fina was out for hours and only appeared at some ungodly hour which Leann guessed to be not too far from the first light over the horizon. Dawn would not appear until mid-morning.
Fina smelled strongly of wine and flopped onto the bed fully dressed, falling asleep almost immediately. Leann decided to have plenty of willow bark tea ready for Fina’s first ever hangover in the morning!
Fina was still asleep by the time Leann was ready for breakfast, and she thought it prudent to leave her to rest. Munro, as if he had been waiting for her, met her as she came in and gave her a glass of ale.
“Did Fina wake you up?” he enquired, concerned. “Because she was very, very drunk last night. She found some young people her own age and they passed the wine around. She might still be awake had I not found her and chased her off to bed.”
“She is still sleeping,” Leann told him, “and she will regret waking up! I remember the first time I had too much wine...” She shook her head and winced.
“We have all been there,” Munro laughed.
They helped themselves to the huge banquet on the table and then sat down, talking inconsequentially, laughing at some of the ladies’ dresses, spreading the latest gossip, and discussing the weather which promised more snow. Allana, Gavin, Nevin, and Bettina came to say hello on their way past then drifted away again. It was relaxing and Leann felt for the first time in ages that she was part of a proper circle of friends. For once, she was not lonely.
Presently, Munro stood up and escorted her to Gavin’s office. He pulled out a chair for her and they sat facing each other.
“M’laird, what can I do for you?” she asked formally.
Munro took a deep breath. “I thought perhaps we could help each other, Leann,” he replied. He paused to pour them both a glass of wine, struggling for words. “It has been over a year since Catherine’s death and although the loss is not so keen now, it still hurts. I am lonely and so, I think, are you. But if I am wrong, please tell me.”
“You are very perceptive,” she replied. “I thought I hid it well.”
“Perhaps it takes one to know one,” he observed.
She looked thoughtful for a moment. “As soon as I was out of Kendrick’s clutches and I had the means, I bought a beautiful house.” She took a sip of her wine and gazed thoughtfully into the fire. “I wanted it to be my haven, but instead it became my prison. I am not the kind of woman who is invited to ceilidhs and dances. No one wants an unattached woman at their gatherings. You would think that a woman of independent means who does not need the support of a man would be a happy creature, would you not?”
“And you are not happy?” he asked.
She made a gesture of impatience. “I am indulging in a bout of self-pity, that is all!” She emptied her glass and raised her eyebrows inquiringly. “Why did you want to see me?”
Then he said the last thing she had expected to hear. “Marry me. I think we need each other, Leann.”
Leann stared at him, speechless for a moment. Then suddenly, she found her voice. “Do you want to bed me? There are far more attractive women out there.” Her voice was angry and her brows lowered.
Munro shook his head. “You may come to my bed if you wish, but I will never insist on it.” He looked at her and his voice was tender. “We could be so good together. My children adore you and you are the kind of mother figure they need. I will not lie to you, Leann. You will never replace my Katie, but I believe we could have a happy marriage and be friends.”
Leann was absolutely shocked. This was not what she had expected at all, and she had no idea how to react. “Munro... It is very sudden,” she said, her voice faint with shock. “I want children of my own, but the idea of being with yours is very appealing and it would be good not to be lonely anymore.” She thought for a moment. She reasoned that in time she could lie with Munro, but he was not insisting on it, so she was comfortable.
“I will not press you,” he said softly, standing up. “I thought it might be a good idea for both of us. Leann, I will happily have more children, but you know what that means.”
“I do,” she replied in a small voice. Did having children of her own body really mean so much? “Munro, if you allow me, may we decide on that when we are married?”
“Of course,” he replied, nodding.
“Then I accept your proposal.”
She did not expect the wide smile on his face or the tender way he embraced her and she was surprised by how much she looked forward to her wedding.
When Fina heard the news she was ecstatic, in spite of her extremely painful head, and when she told her siblings they were equally enthusiastic. Gavin and Allana were thrilled.
“We would like to keep everything very quiet, though,” Leann told her. “Just family, a few close friends, and the children. There is just one thing, Allie.”
“You will not be able to work for me again,” Allana said sadly.
“No.” Leann’s tone was regretful. “I have enjoyed every minute of it, Allie, but I have new responsibilities now.”
“I will find someone else,” Allana said, smiling and kissing Leann on the cheek. “I would not stand in the way of your happiness, Leann.”
“Thank you, Allie,” Leann replied gratefully. “I foresee a marriage of friendship rather than passion, but we are both happy with that.”
“And, as I have said before, there are many kinds of love, my friend,” Allana said happily.
The wedding took place the next day without any fuss. Munro wore his best kilt and Leann her smartest Sunday dress. Père Henri did the honors in his usual inimitable fashion. When the ceremony was over, they smiled at each other and shared one gentle kiss. Leann was surprised at its sweetness.
They went back to Castle Ingram where Allana had prepared two adjoining bedrooms for them. They stood for a moment outside the door, looking at each other and feeling very awkward.
“Goodnight, Lady Douglas,” Munro said fondly and kissed Leann’s cheek.
“Goodnight, m’laird,” she replied and then she hugged him briefly and went into her own room.
Leann had to admit that she felt slightly disappointed. Although she was not in love with Munro, she thought that it might be pleasant to lie beside him and chat for a while like normal husbands and wives.
Munro too would have loved the companionship of Leann beside him. He remembered nights with Catherine when they would
lie and talk about ridiculous things, make each other laugh, and then drift off to sleep, cuddling up to one another and sleeping soundly through the night.
However, Leann was not Catherine, but Munro was not sorry. She was a good woman who would always be fond of him and be an asset to him and his household. Besides, his children had fallen in love with her. That was all that mattered.
Back at Douglas Castle, things began to change for the better. Since Catherine’s death, the staff had become lazy and had become accustomed to doing as little as possible while looking as if they were working. Leann called the housekeeper in and threatened her with dismissal if the housemaids did not do their jobs properly. She did the same with the head gardener and she asked the cook to turn out better food—or else!
Strangely enough, the staff respected her because she was never mean and always fair. Fina, growing into young womanhood, was blossoming. Her sister Maria, at thirteen, copied everything Leann did. She was becoming taller and filling out. Altering her clothes constantly became impossible, so Leann began to make them.
Munro expressed amazement when both girls expressed a desire to learn to sew and knit. Leann was pleased to teach them while practicing French and so sewing lessons in French became the order of the day. Roy sat in too and they spent many happy hours in the parlor together.
When Munro was at home, as he occasionally was during the day, he watched them bonding into a tight family unit. He watched Leann’s face as she began to show Roy how to knit and his concentrated eagerness to learn. Watching the girls and realizing that they were doing something that he could not, he had asked to be taught expressing only one reservation.
“Is this not a craft for girls?” he asked doubtfully, frowning.
“There is no rule book that says so,” Leann replied. “Boys called Roy are permitted to knit.”
“What about boys called David?”
“No,” Leann said firmly, crossing her arms. “Only boys called Roy.”
“Angus?” he asked.
“Only Roy,” she replied.
“Craig? Ewan? Donald?”
“Only Roy.” Leann began to laugh.
When the girls began to suggest names, it turned into a riotous game and when Munro came in, they were rolling on the floor laughing and tickling each other. It was the first time that Munro had seen his son and daughter really having fun since his beloved Katie had died.
Presently, Leann noticed him and stood up. Her face was flushed with laughter and her eyes sparkled with merriment. As Munro smiled back at her, he realized with absolute amazement that he was in love. The lesson had to be postponed for another day since no-one could calm down enough to pay attention to it.
“I have not seen my children enjoy themselves so much since my Katie died,” he observed, smiling at her. “Thank you, Leann.”
Leann was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. “We enjoy each other so much,” she said, smiling. It seemed that she could not stop smiling these days. “I love being with them and there is no need to thank me, Munro, for it is my pleasure.”
They gazed at each other for a moment and Leann thought how fortunate she had been to find a man like Munro after all the grief she had endured with Kendrick. Granted, they had never lain together and there was no chance of a child of her own, but she was content. There was more to life than carnal pleasure, after all, and she had Munro’s children to keep her busy.
When they went into dinner, Munro, while trying not to look too much at his wife, was behaving completely out of character. Several times their glances met uncomfortably across the table and Munro looked away too quickly. Leann was puzzled and when the children had gone to bed, she confronted him.
“Munro, is anything wrong?” She was frowning and her tone was anxious. “Please tell me if it is, and how I can help.”
For a moment, he was sorely tempted to pull her into his arms and kiss her hungrily, but he was too much of a coward since he knew his feelings would not be reciprocated. After that, the awkwardness would be unbearable.
“No, Leann,” he replied, sighing. “Thank you, but I am just tired.”
Leann was about to say something but decided not to. “Then have an early night, Munro,” she suggested. “You look as if you need one.”
Munro wished her goodnight with his usual kiss on her cheek. She sat with her knitting and her glass of mulled wine for a while until she too began to yawn and went up to bed.
Munro had been in a strange mood, she thought, but then, being a Laird, no doubt he had much on his mind. Still, his gaze and his demeanor had made her uncomfortable and it was still on her mind as she drifted off to sleep.
Munro was sleepless; he could not get the image of Catherine’s face out of his mind. She had told him that if she died before him, he must remarry and be happy. He had remarried under certain conditions which at the time had suited both Leann and him, but now he wanted to change those conditions. Now, he wanted to be her true husband in the flesh, to lie with her, make love to her, and sleep with her. He knew that he would get no peace until he told her.
It was very dark, the hour of the day that is equally poised between day and night, and Munro could not bear it any more. He had to speak to Leann and if she refused him at least he would know about it.
Their rooms had an adjoining door but neither had ever used it. He pulled on a robe, lit a candle, and opened it as quietly as he could. He padded silently over to the bed and looked down at her. She was curled on her side, her hair fanned out over the pillow with her face resting on her hands. He felt a flood of tenderness and desire—oh, how he wanted her! He leaned over and stroked her hair with a gentle touch, but it was not quite gentle enough. She woke with a start and a little squeal then sat bolt upright in bed, her eyes round with fright.
“I am sorry, Leann,” he said gently, “I had no wish to startle you.”
Leann stared at him, puzzled. She had been sleeping soundly and felt a little resentful that he had awakened her. “Is something wrong, Munro? The children?”
He shook his head and sighed. “Not with them, Leann,” he murmured. “With me. Can you not guess what it is?”
She frowned. “No,” she answered, although she was lying and her heart was hammering in fear of what he was going to say. “Tell me. Is there something I can do?”
“You can kiss me,” he whispered and was rewarded by a smile.
He was still sitting on the bed, so she drew back the bedclothes to let him in. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, partly of relief, partly of joy, and then he opened them to find himself looking into hers. “I love you, Leann,” he whispered.”
“I love you too,” she answered, smiling at him. “Now, m’laird, what were you saying about a kiss?”
It was magical for both of them. Leann loved the gentle touch of his mouth moving against hers, the tangling of their tongues, and even the scratchy bristles of his face. She hastily pulled off her nightgown to allow his hands access to her smooth flesh and moaned in pleasure when his hand wandered across her breasts and found its way down to the most sensitive part of her.
Munro was ecstatic. No woman had touched him like this since Catherine’s death. Her hands and mouth caressed his manhood and she peppered his body with kisses, telling him to lie still while she did so.
When she thought he had had enough, she whispered, “Make me yours, m’laird. I can wait no longer.”
“Leann, oh, God, Leann,” he muttered, as he thrust into her. He did not rush; it was gentle, slow, and satisfying. At the same time, however, it was hungry and passionate. As his climax came, Munro whispered her name over and over again. He had never thought he would feel this way again.
Leann was not a virgin, and yet, she had never been loved. Kendrick had given her pleasure, it was true, but only because he was receiving it himself; Leann’s feelings had been incidental and unimportant. Now, she was finding out the difference between love and lust and it was like day following night. Munro watched her
face so that he could see if she was satisfied, asked her where she wanted to be touched, waited for her to guide him, listened to her what she asked for, and complied with her wishes. It was glorious.
When she arched her body up to his in ecstasy, Munro thought he had never seen anything so beautiful. She nestled into him afterward and they wrapped their arms around each other.
“That was the first time I have ever been truly loved,” she whispered. “Thank you, my sweetheart.”
“Thank you for marrying me,” he replied, kissing her forehead, “I had forgotten what holding a woman I loved felt like, Leann. I never thought I could be happy again, but I am.”
She pushed away from him a little and looked into his eyes. “I have had a miscarriage, Munro,” she murmured, her voice troubled. “Do you think we will be able to have children?”
“My darling,” he said, laughing softly. “You are asking the wrong person, but many women have a miscarriage and never have another. Katie had one just before Fina.”
“I want to have a child, Munro.” Her voice was dreamy. “Our child.”
“We may need a lot of practice,” he warned, “perhaps every day.”
“I am quite sure I am equal to it,” she replied, laughing.
Munro propped himself on one elbow and looked down at her with such love in his eyes that she felt like weeping. “Starting now?” he asked.
Leann gave a little cry of delight and it all began again.
Leann’ fears proved groundless. Nine months later, their love bore fruit in the shape of a beautiful, red-haired baby boy. They called him Gavin.
Highlander’s Dark Enemy
41
Davina