“He did it!” I cry out, so much pain wracking my system that I fall back against the headboard, bringing my knees up into my chest. I sob into them, allowing every piece of anguish to drench my legs with the saltiness of my tears.
Ignorant me thought he would draw the line in his and Alessandra’s relationship. Even though I knew it could be possible, I didn’t want to think he’d go through with it. But he did, and now, it feels like my entire soul is shattering into a million different pieces.
And the problem that lies ahead of me is the fact I can’t even be mad about it.
It’s all my fault. I forced him to do anything to keep his mother off his scent, and by anything, that means fucking my nemesis.
CHAPTER 14
A pounding racket rings inside my frazzled, sleep-muddled mind, but it’s probably just the headache I’ve been suffering from for the last few hours as I wept myself into a stupor. After sobbing my heart and soul out, I couldn’t stop the tug of weariness from overtaking me, making me drift off to sleep in Asher’s arms. But just as quickly, the nightmares began. Except, this time, it wasn’t about that night. No, it was something far worse.
It was conjured images of what Callum and Alessandra probably looked like in throes of passion.
Did he enjoy it? Did he cry out her name when he orgasmed? Did he love the feel of her smooth, medically enhanced skin beneath his calloused hands?
Did he, did he, did he—it’s on constant repeat. No matter what I do, in or out of sleep, I can’t stop those questions from plaguing my mind. It’s as if they set up permanent residence, and no amount of fighting will make them leave.
The pounding noise starts anew, and I groan, rolling over in my bed. A strong arm tightens around my mid-section, but instead of feeling flighty, I settle into Asher’s warmth behind me. All the guys stayed with me, much to my father’s dismay, but they refused to leave when I was in the position I was when my father got home from the Empire.
They’ve been here, every single second since I broke down, and I can never thank them enough. All three of them have been the very thing that’s held me above water since Callum returned my call when he was with Alessandra.
After he got finished with her or before … I whimper, thinking of what they could have done when I disconnected the call. It’s been hours, so anything is possible. All I know is I wish it would go away. And that damned pounding sound, too. It’s reverberating around my skull.
“Make it stop,” I whimper, raising my hands to my ears.
A grunt, then groan sounds through the room, before the bed dips and shakes just slightly from someone’s retreat. The pounding noise starts once more, but it’s quickly cut off by the sound of the door opening.
“What are you doing here?” It’s Ellis, and he’s talking to someone in a not so friendly tone. I can make it out from the in-between sleep and wakefulness I’m stuck in.
“I need to see her.” Callum?
My eyes snap open, seeing Callum standing on the other side of the threshold to my French doors. Even through the low light of night, with just a sliver of moon catching his back, shrouding his face in darkness, I can see from his actions how antsy he is.
Ellis looks back over his shoulder, but with it being past dusk, he can’t decipher my mood or not.
He turns to face Callum again, his voice deadly and sinister, “You are not coming in here smelling like a cheap goddamn hooker. Jesus Christ, man, you could have at least showered her shit off you.”
I take my bottom lip between my teeth, biting until the taste of blood enters my mouth and tears dance in my swollen eyes. It’s different thinking it versus hearing it said out loud. Much, much different. It’s like it solidifies something inside my chest, hardening it, but at the same time my mind is telling me not to overreact because I’m part of the reason we’re in this situation to begin with.
“I have to see her.”
Ellis growls, taking a menacing step forward. “You’ve been dodging all four of us since Thursday when you got back with that scheming bitch. Then, tonight, you text Quinn and tell him your indisposed. What the fuck makes you think she will want to talk to you? Besides the fact you still smell like cheap perfume. Oh, and let’s not forget the goddamn alcohol I smell on your breath.”
Callum growls. “I had to do something. You honestly think I could fuck that rancid bitch if I was straight? I had to drink until I was almost falling down before I could even get hard. And you know what? I still couldn’t fucking do it! Even though I have to, I couldn’t. Do you want to know why I have to give myself to Alessandra like I’m some piece of meat?”
“Why?” I can tell Ellis doesn’t care, but for the benefit of him being friends with Callum, he’s willing to listen.
“It was either fuck her or marry her—which did you think I’d pick?”
I stiffen in my spot, complete disbelief marring my features. My abrupt shift has both guys peering over at me, and I can see Callum’s shoulder droop in guilt and equal parts regret. Hell, I can see it all over him—he didn’t want to do it, but it was a necessary evil.
But what is he talking about fucking or marrying?
“Explain.” I dart up in bed and flip on the bedside light, which has the other two waking up with grunts and groans.
The moment Asher spies Callum, he’s off the bed and throwing a punch into his best friend's face. Callum’s head shoots back from the assault as he gets knocked back a step, but he makes no move to retaliate.
“That’s for making her cry, asshole.” Asher glowers at him for several minutes, his arms shaking with barely restrained fury. “She cried for hours. She cried until she finally passed out in my arms. I get that you don’t have a choice in the matter, but you didn’t have to call her back when you were still with that goddamn bitch.”
When I had finally settled enough earlier, I told the guys what I heard. They were all showing equal parts disgust and anger. It seems Asher’s didn’t dissipate even an ounce.
“Ash, come here,” I rasp, my throat raw from crying.
Without another word, he growls at his best friend then stalks toward me, taking his place by my side once more. He wraps me up in his arms, and I catch a flash of pain and remorse in Callum’s eyes when they land on the connection.
When Ellis steps aside and lets Callum in, he makes his way toward me, but the sneer Asher releases has him stopping in his tracks.
“That’s close enough.” Asher’s grip on me tightens to the point of pain, but it’s a pain I take wholeheartedly.
“Jess …” Callum whispers.
“I’m not mad you did that,” I release, hoping it’s not a total lie. “I’m more upset that you were still with her when you called me, and the fact you’ve been ghosting us for the past three days. You didn’t text, call, or even come over. Why now?”
“I had to see you. To tell you I couldn’t go through with it.”
The heating unit kicks on and a blast of perfume and alcohol stings my nostrils. I scrunch my face up, then look away in disgust. “You didn’t think to shower before coming over here. God, I can smell her all over you.”
“We—” he tries, but Quinn cuts him off.
“Go take a shower, man. We’ll all talk when you get out,” Quinn states, not nearly as murderous as the other two. He gets it, as do I—marginally.
He knows Callum didn’t have a choice. If he wanted smooth sailing and to keep his inheritance, then he had to do what he had to do. He has to keep his inheritance away from his mother, the stupid, vindictive bitch. So, being with queen bitch isn’t something we’re faulting him for. It’s more along the lines of how he went about it.
Something nags at me, though, and I can’t quite figure out what it is. I watch, silently, as Callum drops his head in shame and makes his way to my bathroom. He takes off his jacket along the way, tossing it haphazardly over the chair sitting in front of my vanity. My eyes continue to trail over him, and I can’t put my finger on it, but that nagging
feeling buzzes around inside my skull.
There’s this fierce need ramping up inside me, forcing me to feel a plethora of emotions I’ve never felt in my life. My heart is broken, my eyes swollen from crying, but it’s nothing on what I’m feeling right now. The incessant buzz that forces me to sit up and take notice.
Once the door shuts behind him, it gets louder and fiercer, until it feels like it’s a separate entity inside of me. It confuses me, leaves me feeling raw and open and bleeding.
I hear the shower turn on and clothes slap against the floor. But it isn’t until Asher’s hand grazes my thigh, I put two and two together.
My mouth falls open at the realization. I don’t know if this makes me deranged and completely fucked up, or like a male pissing on my territory.
But I want to fuck the feel of her off him. I want to take the taste of her out of his mouth, and the feel of her skin from his hands.
I want to replace everything that is Alessandra and fill it with me. Make it to where the only person he sees, feels, or tastes is me and only me.
“That look means trouble,” Ellis states, smirking.
My eyes flick to his, and I take my bottom lip between my teeth, pondering.
How fucked up is too fucked up? Is there a logical explanation somewhere out there in the universe?
“You think it’s a bit much?” I ponder out loud, and slowly I see all their faces ease from their anger and shift into tight smirks.
“When have you ever been the type of person to care if it’s too much?” He’s got a point.
“You don’t think it’s degrading, disgusting, or anything like that?” I ask, eyeing all three of them.
Quinn barks out a soft laugh, then eyes me. “If you want to fuck that bitch’s touch off him, then by all means, sweetheart, we’ll sit back and listen to the show.”
It’s really that easy? But it’s demeaning. It’s unhinged. No one in their right mind would do something like this. Not after spending the last few hours cracking until there was nothing left to crack without shattering.
No one would willingly walk across their bedroom to get in a shower and show one of their men what it’s like being with someone that knows what she’s doing, that wants to show him who he belongs to. And the only reason she would do that it is to claim her property properly.
They’re not my property, though, which is the sad part. Not really. We have a mutual understanding that we’re all five together. It works for us. But this … this is something new. I feel untethered, knowing he was almost with someone else—that he was almost with her. And that might make me a fraud, a big phony—no big shocker there—but I have this visceral need to want my pussy to be the only thing he knows, the only thing he feels.
“Go put yourself out of your misery,” Asher drawls, sighing. “We all know you want to.”
Without overthinking it, I press a chaste kiss against his forehead and get up from the bed to make my way across the room. I pull my shirt over my head, then take off my panties, feeling a new sense of courage when I hear three sets of deep inhales before groans sound off behind me.
My hand slides over the cool sterling silver handle, and without overthinking it, I twist and pull it open. The steam from his shower completely envelops me when I step inside, allowing the door to fall closed behind me. He doesn’t bother looking up, but I know he knows I’m here. His shoulders tense and his hands fist against the tile wall in front of him.
I allow my eyes to rake over his body, then they narrow at the sight of scratch marks lining his right bicep. A growl of possession rumbles inside my chest at the sight. I can’t explain it, but it makes me want him even more. And it’s because I realize he’ll go to hell and back to keep all of us safe. Yes, he merely tried to fuck someone to keep everyone toeing the line, but he’s mine to fuck, suck, and please.
And I will remind him of that, starting now.
“Turn around.” I expect him to rebuff my words, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he does what I say, falling heavily against the wall. His face tilts up toward the spray, and I stand there, mesmerized over the rivulets of water trekking down his mouthwatering body.
“Little mouse.” He sighs, clenching his eyes tight against the spray. “You don’t need to be in here. I’ll be out in a minute. I just have to collect myself.”
I surprise myself by saying, “No. What you need to do is put that cock where it belongs, so you know just who it is you belong to.”
His eyes snap open, beaming toward me. I can see the complete and utter disbelief shining through his glassy gaze, but it’s not going to stop me. He had to get drunk just to get hard enough to fuck her, and even then, he couldn’t do it. He physically and mentally could not do it because of me—because of his feelings toward me.
His eyes slowly travel down my body, taking in my hard nipples and heaving breaths. When his heavy cock jerks between his spread thighs, that alone gives me renewed vigor.
“Why?”
I cock a brow. “Why what?”
“Why would you want to be with me?” He licks his lips and brings his eyes back up to mine. “You asked me to keep that from happening, and I ended up almost doing it, anyway.”
“How many times did you try to fuck her?” I ask, instead.
His eyes shutter closed, and he doesn’t answer and his features pinch tight.
“How. Many?” I reiterate, stepping forward until I’m within arms-reach of the shower, just on the other side of the glass.
He licks his lips, then reopens his eyes, his gaze trailing down my body with obvious desire. He doesn’t need liquor to numb himself with me. All he needs to fill himself up on is the sight of me naked. Take that, bitch! I damn near growl with my inner rambling.
“I tried … three times.” He leans back against the wall when I grab the handle to the shower and step inside. The heat from scalding hot water surrounds me, nearly making it hard to breathe. “I kept going soft.”
I smirk. “Not drunk enough, huh?”
He shakes his head.
“Do you need anything to be with me?” I bite my lip seductively, already knowing the answer when his cock jerks again, hardening even further.
Then devil boy here tries to grow a conscious. He heaves a large breath, before turning to face away from me, like he has to hide his shame. I don’t want him to hide. I want everything. He’s cut me open and bled all my secrets, and now, I want to cut him open and watch him fall apart under my fingers.
Stepping into his back, I smile against his drenched skin when a full shiver races through him. Reaching around him, I run my nails down his chest and grab onto his semi-hard cock, wrapping my fingers around him. He shudders in my grip, his chest falling against the wall. I watch as his fingers claw at the tile wall until he forms two sets of fists.
“You’re mine,” I whisper into the steamy encasement. “It may sound crazy, but it’s hard to explain. I want my pussy to be the last thing you think about when you shut your eyes tonight. I want my taste on your tongue until you draw your last breath. You, Ellis, Asher, and Quinn are mine, just like I’m yours.”
“Jess,” I watch his mouth fall open in rapture when I drag my hand along his fully hard length. The muscles in his arm bunch and bulge as he fights to keep in control of himself.
I don’t need his control. I want Callum to lose himself in us. I want him to devour me, break me, and piece me back together. His touch is the only thing that can do that, because it was his touch that shattered us to begin with.
My teeth nip at the skin of his back. “Take me.”
His hips thrust forward, a groan rumbling deep inside his chest. “I—fuck, I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t do that to you.”
My body is slick from the water, making it easy for me to slip under his arm and slide between his body and the wall. My nails drag along his thigh as I do, and I waste no time in pressing my lips against his chest. My lips drag down the front of his body, and I peer down to see his cock is red and an
gry. Then, my gaze lands on the loofa resting on the floor just beside him.
Tears blanket my eyes, and I choke on a gasp. “You nearly made yourself bleed.”
“If that would make this feeling in my chest go away, I’d gladly cut him off and serve it to you on a silver platter,” he whispers, voice thick with emotion.
I hum and go back to kissing and sucking on the front of his body. His gasps and groans filter through the shower stall, egging me on. Sliding lower and lower, I shunt off his hand when he tries to pull me back up.
He’s not in charge of this right now. I am. I need this. To solidify some part of me that knows, but needs the reassurance, that he’s mine.
Bracing myself on my knees, I glance up at him to see him staring down at me. Darting my tongue out, I lick along the tip of his thick cock, reveling in the way his eyes shutter closed and a quiver jolts through him.
“Who do you belong to?” I ask, licking him once more.
“Y—Ah, fuck,” he groans as I suck his tip like a lollipop. “You. I belong to you.”
I swirl my tongue along the head of his cock, pouring every bit of emotional healing I can into my touch. Encircling the base with my hand, I open my mouth and take the tip of him into my mouth, releasing a groan of sadness. I taste nothing of him. Only the soap he used to wash away her scent. I can’t help that my heart shatters at the thought of him nearly rubbing himself raw, trying to erase her from his skin.
This is all my fault. I made him do this, knowing he didn’t want to. I’ll never be able to forgive myself.
Taking him deeper into my mouth, I hollow out my cheeks and make love to him. I show him everything I’m feeling inside as I continue to work him in and out, gaining another inch with each pass.
I take him in deeper, and sigh around the length of his cock when I feel his fingers tangle in my hair, guiding me. I bob my head up and down, pleasuring him to the point his legs shake, and his grip grows so tight I can’t help but to cry out around him. I try to ignore it, guiding him to the back of my throat over and over.
Love Me, Baby: A High School Bully Romance (Silver Creek High Book 3) Page 10