by J. L. Leslie
He sits on the edge of the bed and I straddle him. I look him in the eyes as I sink down him. We’re somewhere between this being just sex and meaning so much more. The last time we were together, he told me his cock was mine. Mine. He gave himself to me.
This time, he told me he didn’t trust me. I took a different part of him. I might as well have broken it. He has so much of me now, I can’t let him go. I just can’t.
I cup his face and rest my forehead to his as I ride him, grinding my pelvis against him with delicious friction. We don’t speak. We don’t encourage each other with dirty talk. We just breathe each other in. Our lips feathering against each other as we move.
My head lulls back as I arch against him, splaying my breasts towards his mouth. He hungrily sucks a nipple between his teeth. I can feel the scruff on his face scratching against my skin. He sinks his teeth into my peak and bites down. I dig my nails into his shoulders and my eyes prick with tears.
Lincoln moves his mouth to my other nipple and flicks his tongue over it, giving it the same attention. I buck against him, so close and needing to come. Needing to feel him come inside me.
I don’t trust you.
I jerk upright and the slight change in position causes him to thrust deep, delivering my orgasm. His mouth is on my neck as I mumble his name over and over, tears streaming down my cheeks. His hands grip my ass cheeks as he fucks me until he finds his own release moments later.
I keep my legs and arms around him, unwilling to end this moment. Unsure if I’ll have another one. Realizing only now what this man has done to me.
I’m in love with him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
~Lincoln~
I’ve knocked and now I wait. I have never knocked on this door before. It feels strange. Shit, it feels strange being back here. The last time I was here, I held a fucking gun to my brother’s head.
The door swings open and Luka stands there. His expression is unreadable. Shock mixed with I don’t know what. Anger probably. He has every right to be fucking angry as hell with me. Then he does what I least expect. He steps to me and encloses me in a hug.
“It’s about fucking time, brother.”
I breathe out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and return his hug. He’s a couple inches taller than me, but I’ve got a few pounds on him. Always have. He used to joke that it was because of those worms I ate back when we were kids. I used to remind him that he ate them too. I could never let anyone dare me to do something and not follow through and he couldn’t stand for anyone to pick on me.
Damn it, how could I have turned my back on him? How could I have believed he would have lied to me?
“It’s late, but Raiden’s cooking dinner. You hungry?” he asks, releasing me and stepping aside so I can come in.
Just like that, I’m welcomed back into his life. No questions. No accusations. No explanations.
“Smells good.” I comment and my stomach growls in agreement.
We walk into the kitchen, Luka taking a seat at the counter. Raiden turns from the stove. Her dark, brown hair is twisted into a messy bun on top of her head. She’s wearing a pair of what appears to be Luka’s boxer shorts and a faded blue t-shirt. She puts the spoon down to give me a hug.
“It’s good to see you.”
“You two look very domesticated.” I grin. “Next thing you know, you’ll be popping out- ”
“Shut it, Varelli.” Raiden warns, holding the spoon out to me as a makeshift weapon.
“A spoon?” I tease. “Really? We know that isn’t your weapon of choice, now is it?”
She laughs, but doesn’t comment. I doubt she’ll ever confess out loud that she’s the assassin for the Ravens. Maybe it was just one of Cal’s off-the-wall ideas. He certainly had a shitload of those.
“You by yourself tonight? No Sully? Isn’t that her name?” she asks, peeking over her shoulder.
I clench my jaw at her question. “I’m alone.” I answer and take a seat beside Luka, aware that he senses my shift in mood.
Truth is, I can’t not be around Sully. I shouldn’t want to see her. I shouldn’t want to kiss her. I shouldn’t want to fuck her.
But I do.
When she clung to me tonight, I almost told her I loved her. Three words I’ve never uttered to any woman before in my life. Maybe it was the post-orgasmic bliss I was in or some shit like that, but I almost said them. My heart had been pounding in my chest and my head was screaming at me to tell her. To tell her how I feel.
So, I’d peeled her arms off me, eased her to the side, and left. Whatever my head was telling me to do, I silenced it.
“You should bring her with you next time.” Raiden continues, unaware that her words are falling on deaf ears.
I look at Luka and he gets it. He knows that I found out. That I’m torn up about it, but can’t seem to shake her. He knows me that well despite the time we’ve spent apart.
“What do you need me to do, Linc?”
“I want out.”
Luka nods and at that moment, Raiden sits a plate of spaghetti in front of me. She props against the counter and crosses her arms.
“That won’t be easy. Rykers don’t let their members just leave.” she explains. “When you get your mark, you’re a member for life.”
I look down at the Ryker “R” on my wrist. I branded myself. I knew deep down going into it that I would never be getting out. Not alive anyway. I just didn’t want to admit it. Cal told me I could leave any time I wanted. He knew this wasn’t the life I saw myself in. Another one of his lies.
“I’m in a little trouble with Diesel too.” I admit.
“So, I heard.” Luka smirks.
“What kind of idiot robs Diesel?” Raiden grins. “And stabs Jeb.”
I roll my eyes. “Jeb broke a barstool over my back. Besides, the robbery wasn’t my idea and that’s not the trouble I’m in.”
“Sounds like you have a lot of confessing to do, little brother.”
“I promised him I’d bring the Drycos down.” I reply, leaving Sully out of it. They don’t need to know the particulars. “In exchange for my life.”
Raiden whistles and pats my shoulder as she walks back to the stove. “If I would’ve known this was going to be your last meal, I probably would’ve fixed something better than spaghetti.”
~Sully~
I try to ignore the persistent buzzing in my pocket. It’s not Lincoln. I already know that he wouldn’t be calling. Not after the way he left last night.
I roll myself out from under the Beretta and pull my phone from my pocket, tired of ignoring it.
“Bitch, I’ve been calling.” Thad’s angry voice sounds in my ear. “Come get me. I’m fucking discharged.”
I hear the click disconnecting the line before I can respond. I should let him sit there, but that would only piss him off more. Why didn’t he call one of the Rykers?
I wipe my hands off on my coveralls and get up. Leon is in his office working on some invoices when I stick my head in the door.
“I’m so sorry, Leon, something has come up. Is it okay if I knock off early?”
He glances up at the clock and shrugs. “You haven’t even taken lunch yet. Go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I stop by the clubhouse and exchange my bike for the Tahoe. The majority of the members are out for a pickup and the ones that aren’t, are out distributing. No one questions me.
When I pull up to the hospital, Thad is sitting out front. I thought they were supposed to push you out in a wheelchair. Apparently, Mercy Memorial is just as eager to get rid of Thad Harrison as I am.
He climbs into the passenger seat and immediately starts barking orders. “Head to the airport. We’re picking up a friend.”
This is the first news I’ve heard of someone flying in. Thad’s been hospitalized, but it seems as though he’s been working from his hospital bed. It makes me nervous thinking of what he might have been up to. I thought he was heading back to San Dieg
o soon. Now I’m not so sure.
“Someone special?” I ask.
“None of your fucking business.” He snarls.
I don’t ask him anymore questions. The regret I feel is overwhelming. I should have let him die two nights ago. Whatever the consequences would have been, Lincoln and I could have figured them out. Anything would be better than enduring this man.
“Wait here.” He instructs when I pull into the airport parking lot.
I have absolutely no problem with that. The less time I spend with him, the better. I leave the engine running and wait for him to go get his friend. Whoever it might be.
I rest my head back on the seat and look at all the people coming and going. They do it so easily. They don’t have anyone to report to. They don’t have to ask permission or worry about who might come after them if they leave. They’re free. I watch them and I’m jealous.
Then I see Thad and the man walking with him. I sit up and lean on the steering wheel so I can get a better look. They’re laughing and talking as though they’re close friends. It can’t be possible though. It can’t.
I struggle to get my breathing under control and I swallow down the vomit that’s risen in the back of my throat. I chug some water from the bottle in the cup-holder as Thad opens his door.
“You’ll fucking love Verdana, Mack.” Thad comments.
I hear the back-passenger door open and as Katy slides in, he says, “I’m sure I will.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
~Lincoln~
For the second day in a row, I’m at Griffin Knowles’ office. This time the receptionist sent me right in. She was still snotty about it.
“People might start getting the wrong idea.” Griffin quips.
“I’m too good looking for you.” I smirk.
He leans back in his chair, looking a little too relaxed. As for me, I didn’t sleep much last night. Luka’s couch isn’t as comfortable as I remember. I also didn’t miss Raiden’s smartass comment that the couch wasn’t as soft as Sully. I definitely don’t disagree.
“I assume you welcomed your family home in style last night.” Griffin cocks an eyebrow, a slight smirk on his face.
“If you knew who attacked me, why weren’t they persecuted?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest.
“I’ve been investigating your attack and a few other things since the warehouse fire. I had my suspicions, but you have only now confirmed them.” He answers.
“And the rat?”
“I can’t answer that yet.”
“Bullshit!” I growl. “You always want to play fucking games!”
Griffin leans forward, his hands raised. “I’m not playing games, Lincoln. I assure you of that. It’s for the safety of the member.” He explains. “I discovered the member has a sister in protective custody. If I divulge any identification, it puts the sister in custody at risk.”
“I need something!”
“A little birdie told me you might be willing to work with me.” Griffin offers.
I narrow my eyes. “A little birdie, huh? I thought she hated being called that.”
Griffin shrugs. “I think we want the same thing, Lincoln.”
“Are you on the Ravens’ payroll or some shit? We had Steve, so now they have you? Is that how this fucking works?”
The bite of anger in my voice is damn near lethal. I feel like a fucking pawn, torn between my flesh and blood brother and the Rykers. Apparently, I’ve been the pawn since the beginning and I didn’t know it.
“I’m on no one’s damned payroll!” Griffin smarts. “I’m trying to do right by this town and I always have! Don’t tell me you don’t see the damage the Rykers are doing to it!”
“Oh, and the Ravens don’t?” I shoot back.
“If it were my decision, Verdana would be free of all motorcycle clubs. The best I can hope for is to get rid of two of them.”
“And the Ravens get to fly free.”
Griffin nods. “But not without restraint. They don’t get my help without making some sacrifices.”
I snort at this. “But you’re not on the payroll. My fucking ass.”
“When I’m done, it’ll be more like they’re on my payroll.” He smirks. “If you plan to be part of it, you need to tell me everything you know about the Rykers’ drug distribution warehouses and then contact Raiden. She handles everything from this point forward.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I can’t promise that you won’t get caught in the crossfire.”
~Sully~
I stare suspiciously at Katy, who is now going by the name Mack Jacobson, as he sips on his beer and allows one of the club whores to give him a lap dance. I’ve tried calling Lincoln a couple of times, but he hasn’t answered. I suppose we’re back to just sex, if even that. He’s smothering the spark that was there between us.
“Who is this guy?” Sabrina asks, propping her elbows on the bar top. “Thad told me he was bringing someone in, but that’s all he would say. I think the accident shook him up a little.”
“I don’t know him.” I answer her. “I honestly thought Thad was getting ready to head back to San Diego.”
“Doubt it. No one here is fit to be president.”
I glance over at her, surprised to see she’s actually serious. A few weeks ago, she would have been vying for Lincoln to hold that spot. Now that she’s fucking Thad, she wants him to stick around. She probably thinks he’ll make her his old lady or something.
“I think there’s a few members that are worthy of that title.” I disagree with her. “He should probably get back to his own club soon. I’m certain he wouldn’t want them trying to overthrow him.”
I try to plant this seed of doubt, but it doesn’t take. Sabrina’s too smart for that. She has too much faith in Thad and his ruthlessness.
“As if anyone would try to overthrow Thad.” She scoffs. “That would be a fucking death wish.”
I let out a light laugh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
As I’m saying this, Lincoln walks in. Just the sight of him makes me calm. Makes me feel as though we’ll sort this out together, even though he’s been ignoring me. I don’t blame him. I know if I found out he knew I was going to be brutally attacked…raped…and did nothing, I don’t think I could forgive him either. When he stalks back towards his room, I follow him. He’s changing into a t-shirt and pulling on his cut when I walk in.
“I’m heading out.” He cuts me off before I even speak.
“Something’s happened.” I blurt, unwilling to let him move past me until I tell him what’s going on. Some of it at least.
Lincoln’s brow furrows as he looks me over and I almost smile that he immediately thought to check and see if I was okay first.
“Thad brought someone new in. Sabrina said she thinks the accident spooked him or something.” I explain.
“Well, I can’t deal with him right now.”
Lincoln gently pushes me to the side and steps around me. The burn of his dismissal hits me deep in my gut. The fact that it’s my own fault makes it sear even deeper.
I watch him walk away. I watch him walk over and talk with the other members. I watch them leave together. Without me.
I thought I was becoming his family. The family he found here with the Rykers. I know now that I’m not who he thought I was. Maybe I was never that person.
Chapter Twenty-Five
~Lincoln~
As I ride, I steal glances down at the “R” branded on my wrist, marking me as a Ryker. I wonder if I’ll have it removed or if I’ll leave it there as a reminder of what true betrayal really means.
My conversation with Raiden is etched into my mind and it keeps replaying in my head. Over and over.
“Griffin said to call my little birdie.” I’d joked and thought for a moment that she’d hung up.
“Do not call me that.” She warned. “Your first assignment is to go on patrol tonight.”
I laughed. “Patrol?”
“Br
ing whoever you want with you, but be sure to bring Hayes Winchester. The Ravens have a bone to pick with him. Be sure you patrol Hillendale Avenue around nine p.m.”
There was no goodbye or thanks for your fucking service. I had my instructions and I’m certain the Ravens would be testing my newfound loyalty to them. I’m officially switching teams. I am betraying the Rykers. Betrayal. Something I never thought I was capable of. Yet, finding out my own club set me up to be attacked is not something I can stomach. I can’t look at my scars in the mirror and relive what happened to me without wanting vengeance. I need it.
Now I’m driving with Lazarus, Gil, and Hayes and we’re bordering very close to Hillendale. It’s 8:55 p.m. I search the area for any sign of trouble. Hillendale Avenue is on the very outskirts of our territory. It borders the Drycos’ territory. We’ve had more than a few scuffles on this line, most of them ending up with minor scrapes and bruises. Tonight, I don’t believe it’ll be going down like that.
As we approach the intersection, I spot a few Drycos and I wave at Lazarus, Gil and Hayes to warn them. The Drycos are parked on our side of the line, almost as if they were waiting for us to arrive.
Lazarus takes the lead, slowing his bike to halt a few feet from the waiting men. Blood drums in my ears and my heart hammers in my chest, preparing me for the fight. I rest my hand on the gun tucked in the back of my jeans, my finger ready on the trigger should any one of them pull theirs out.
“Gentlemen, I’m sure you’re aware that you’re in our territory.” Lazarus states calmly. “We don’t take that very lightly. Can’t you motherfuckers read?”
Hayes chuckles at this and gunshot splatters his brain matter onto the concrete below him. His limp body crumples against his bike and then crashes to the ground. Within seconds, everyone has their weapons drawn.
“You fuckers set us up!” Gil yells, his eyes wide as he looks to the rooftops of the buildings.