by RJ Blain
“These are honey rocks. These are the melons over all melons, the reason I would do my best to have the dead cooperate when they got up. Every time I had a little extra money, I would get one. That was rare. I will dine like a queen.”
Eoghan gave the melon a cautious sniff. “And this tastes good?”
“I fucking love them.”
Eoghan turned and put his in the cart. “You spent a long time considering this one, so you should get it, too.”
“You’re right. I should definitely get it. How does this compare to what you know?”
“This is very orderly, and there is no one watching for thieves. Why are there no guards?”
I pointed at the ceiling corners where the surveillance cameras watched over the store. “Those are cameras, and a store employee is monitoring everything. It’s an honor system with some digital policing. Should someone be caught stealing, the police will be called.”
According to the antique’s expression, he likely believed the world had gone mad, and he wasn’t wrong. While still staring at the camera, he picked up another honey rock and went to place it in the cart.
“You have to check if it’s good first, Eoghan.”
That drew his attention from the security camera, and he mimicked how I’d sniffed the melons. “What is it supposed to smell like?”
I picked up the best of my honey rocks and handed it to him. “Like this. Also look at where the stem used to grow. See what that looks like? See how the netting around the rind is nice and thick? These are the signs of a good honey rock.”
Eoghan examined the one in his hands, wrinkled his nose, and after some thought, he put it back and then sorted through the others until he found one matching my ripe one. “Like this?”
“Like that,” I confirmed.
He added it to the cart with the others. “What else should we acquire?”
“Chocolate pudding.”
Eoghan laughed.
We bought half the grocery store thanks to Eoghan’s curiosity, although I’d managed to mostly steer him to the shelf-stable sections. I’d need another refrigerator and freezer if I allowed him to get everything that caught his interest. I got my chocolate pudding, instant mashed potatoes because he couldn’t believe a foil packet could contain what started out as a round potato, a bag of potatoes because potatoes made his world go round, carrots because I wasn’t having potatoes without them and they weren’t the right color according to him and couldn’t actually be a carrot, canned foods of too many types because cans intrigued him, coffee, and tea.
Then when he sighed over the utter lack of mead to be found, I made one final pit stop to the last open liquor store in the area. Mead wasn’t common, but the place had a few bottles, and I got that for him along with some ales and wines, as those were what he knew.
I expected he’d get an unpleasant surprise when he tasted them, as I doubted our current alcohols came anywhere near to what he’d drunk so many years ago.
Hopefully, he wouldn’t prove to be a drunk, but I’d find out soon enough.
Gordon waited on the front step when we got back, and his mouth dropped open at my truck. “What is that?”
I hopped out of the cab and gave the hood of my baby a fond pat. “This is Lady Luck, and she’s my truck. I bought her with Eoghan’s money, but I’ll repay him for her eventually.”
“You will not,” the antique replied, and he got out of my truck. “The fault is with me, as I stared longer than is polite, which she rightfully interpreted as my interest in this truck. She growls, and she roars. I’ve been told there are horses under the hood. Several hundred of them. They’re not literal horses, which is a pity. We have made purchases. Would you help us move them into the house, please?”
As instructed by the devil, I grabbed the end of the flaming rope lashing everything down and gave a tug. It stung, but it unraveled, bathing my hands in blue light before vanishing. I lowered the tailgate and scratched my head, wondering how we’d get everything out without breaking anything.
Gordon joined me, and he whistled. “I see you were not exaggerating.”
“Almost everything is fragile,” I warned.
“Then I will carry it with upmost care.” The vampire grabbed the television’s box, pulled it to him, and lifted it as though it weighed nothing rather than its awkward hundred pounds. He marched to the front door, and Eoghan opened it, allowing the vampire to head inside.
That simplified things. I grabbed the first bag of groceries from the cab and began ferrying everything to the kitchen while I let the men handle the electronics. Within thirty minutes, my living room had everything needed to become an entertainment lover’s dream come true, I had a desktop computer on my desk in the bedroom, and I’d have enough toys to keep three adults amused for possibly all of eternity.
Huh. Who knew almost dying could bring such good fortune?
Well, mostly. I had a devil problem on my hands, an incubus who wanted me to be friends with his wife, and an antique I’d have to figure out if I wanted to keep around for life or seduce before I died of old age—a real enough risk if I believed the devil.
Strangely enough, I did.
Huh. The Lord of Lies came across as a disgustingly honest fellow.
Once everything was inside and I locked Lady Luck, I grabbed the ripest honey rock, got out my cutting board, and cut it in half to reveal its delicious flesh. I scooped out the seeds, put them in a baggie, and put them on the counter in the slim chance I could somehow make them grow in my yard. Then, as I was not a complete monster, I shared with Gordon and Eoghan, who followed me around like a pair of sad, lost puppies.
“This is a honey rock. Just a taste for you, Gordon, since I don’t want to make you sick. It’s not blood, so it’s not good for you.”
“You say that as though you mean well by me, but in reality, you say that so you have more for yourself,” the vampire teased.
“You’re absolutely fucking correct.” I gave him a thin slice, and as I liked Eoghan but not enough to give him an entire half a honey rock, I gave him a quarter served in narrow slices. If he behaved, I would even consider cracking open a second one for him. “You’re getting this much because it gives me an excuse to make more if you like it.”
“Clever,” Eoghan replied, accepting my offering and sitting at the table. “How does one eat this?”
I grabbed one of my slices and chomped on it, closing my eyes at its sweet juices, which dripped down my chin and all over my plate. I’d lick the plate after, as I couldn’t waste even a drop of my delicious treat. I chomped to the rind, nibbled as much as the good flesh from my slice as I could, discarded the unwanted bits, and snatched my next piece. “Like that.”
If they wanted more instruction, they’d have to ask after I finished stuffing myself with my precious honey rock.
“It is much like watching a starved wolf fall upon a doe with a broken leg. Quick, brutal, and efficient, partnered with a determination to prevent other scavengers from partaking of her prize.” Eoghan took a bite of his, his expression thoughtful. “For all the times have changed and this era is not like my past, it seems women still love sweet things.”
Damn straight I loved sweet things. Another slice fell prey to my appetite. “I have many honey rocks to eat in several days. You might be able to convince me to eat other food, but you would need to give me a damned good reason.”
Gordon laughed and tried his, and the vampire ate his entire slice before setting his rind aside. “That is good, and I can see why you would buy so many. I do have to admit, when I saw you bring them in, I wondered why such an obsession with cantaloupes.”
“These are honey rocks, and they transcend all other melons.”
“It is clear these are your obsession. Can you get them all of the time?” Eoghan asked, and unlike me, he took his time with his share of my melon.
I devoured another slice, as the only way I could ensure its safety was to consume it immediately. “Mostly. Honey
rocks are a type of musk melon, a fancier relative of the standard cantaloupe, which are usually available. These are usually called a cantaloupe despite not really being one. I like honey rocks better than cantaloupe because they’re sweeter and more delicate in flavor. I’m going to try to grow some myself.”
When working at the funeral home, I’d been too tired, stressed, and poor to even think about trying to turn my yard into a viable garden.
“Ah, planting is something I have skills at. I can help you.”
I stared at Eoghan with wide eyes. “We’re going to have to make a trip to the hardware store this weekend, as I have no supplies. But I would love to have a garden in the back.”
“That is because you are wise, and having a garden means you have a supply of your own food. I remember those days well. Starving is not something someone forgets, even with time. Or they shouldn’t. It is a good motivation to never return to those days.”
I nodded, grabbed another slice, and went to work getting it into my stomach where it belonged.
“Try not to make yourself sick. I, too, remember that.”
“I have a difficult time imagining you starving,” Gordon admitted.
“We all start from nothing, even the most powerful of beings and immortals. Even Christianity’s God is a being of creation, birthed by the universe in answer to a prayer.”
Christians wouldn’t like hearing that bit of lore. “But don’t Christians believe that he is the creator?”
“Many people who believe the same incorrect thing are still incorrect, no matter how badly they wish for it to be true. Christianity’s God is a constant, but not in the way you might believe. For as long as there are people, there will be people who will believe in such an entity. The same applies to that one, too.”
I snickered at Eoghan’s refusal to invoke the devil’s name. “No kidding. But don’t the legends claim they’ll be the first reborn after the end times?”
“Those two seeds, in particular, will be preserved. That is a gift of life itself. But there are others, and there will always be others. They just take forms you may not expect. I don’t know all of Earth’s secrets, and truth be told, I don’t want to learn them all. Right now, my aspirations involve protecting you and dealing with that director. I suspect he wants the node—or nodes, if rumor is to be believed. If there are multiple nodes here, it could be a problem. Nodes can conflict.”
“What do you mean by conflict?”
Gordon winced. “Should two nodes conflict, the reaction between them can become violent. I was created due to the clashing of two nodes.”
Sighing, Eoghan set aside his finished rind and picked up a new piece, taking a bite before saying, “Nodes conflict often at the beginning of an emergence. Magic surges into the world, and when it does, those sleeping nodes flare to life. Should two nodes be too close together, they go into a state of flux. This can create strong surges of magic, destruction, and general chaos. Should there be two nodes, we will need to be careful about relocating one to a safe distance. Anything can happen when nodes clash. Gordon’s existence as this emergence’s firstborn vampire is a prime example.”
“Which is why you survived being hacked apart, Gordon?”
“I wasn’t awake when I was hacked apart, much to my relief. I was staked first.”
Ew. “How’d you survive being staked?”
Eoghan laughed. “Staking is an ineffective method of killing a vampire. That’s superstitious nonsense meant to make people feel safer at night when a vampire hunts. Stakes mostly amuse vampires, especially the stronger ones. It would take a great deal to kill an emergence’s firstborn vampire. Every era has creatures like that. Every era I have witnessed has birthed at least a few new ones. Gordon should, like the other firstborn before him, survive from emergence to emergence, although I expect he will slumber between them much as I do. There are some who do not rest. I pity them.”
I found that hard to believe. “Why do you pity them?”
“Time is not kind to those who have seen a great deal of it. Our new friend is likely as he is because he has experienced so much time. He never rests, unlike Christianity’s God, who changes over time. He isn’t a true immortal, and when He dies, some new mortal takes over. It’s always interesting when this happens as a public event. I’ve witnessed it twice. Unfortunately, I’m the only one to live to tell such tales; at the moment of rebirth, He is visible in His full glory. Humans perish. As I’m not human, I didn’t perish, but I left with a greater understanding than I liked of the balance in the universe, which is strongly represented by those within Christianity. I wouldn’t go so far as to say their way is the right way, but it is representative of the universe, which is why the prophecies of their religion tend to hold great sway.”
“This is complicated,” I complained.
“Things worth knowing usually are. That leaves us with the matter of this director. He will be a risk to you. He likely believes he is a risk to me, but I know much he does not. You, however, are a much easier target. I still do not know what his true intentions were locking you in that cellar with me upon my awakening, but it was for no good purpose.”
“He probably thought you were like the vampire and needed to feed when you got up. That’s what we all believed,” I admitted. “All we knew was that the funeral home was being paid a sum yearly to keep you on ice. The CDC invoked an operational clause to keep you there, Gordon. I never found out why our funeral home was picked.”
“This is a remote place, and should I have awoken in a foul mood, there would have been fewer victims,” the vampire replied. “The CDC told me why I had been kept there. It had been their recommendation to keep me in pieces as well, as that does make it difficult to rise unattended.”
“Difficult or impossible?”
“Difficult. In time, I would have awoken, I suspect. And I would have awoken rather upset over the circumstances.”
“My method was the safest for all involved, and it helped you have such an amicable relationship with death.”
I considered the antique’s words, narrowing my eyes and enjoying another slice of my honey rock. It occurred to me my arm no longer hurt, and I broke all the rules and peeled off the bandages to check on the stitches.
The stitches flickered with blue flames, but beyond a few red marks where the threads remained embedded in my skin, all evidence of Gordon’s bites were gone. “Now that is cool.” I held out my arm to Gordon. “You have super teeth and sharp, pointy claws. Can you remove those stitches? I don’t need them anymore.”
Gordon examined my arm, made a soft noise in his throat, and checked my kitchen drawers until he found a pair of scissors, which he used to cut the stitches and pick them out. Removing them stung, but the blue fire jumped from the material to my skin and sealed the holes with a soothing warmth. “Who did this to you?”
“If we say his name he might show up,” I whispered, rubbing my arm where the vampire had bitten me. “I don’t know if I can deal with him showing up again tonight. Him showing up the first time rattled my nerves enough.”
“One of the fallen ones with a certain notoriety made an appearance after Anwen invoked his name at the mall. He went shopping with us, and he annoyed her so much she spent his money numerous times. It was a most amusing manipulation. I am still uncertain why he wished to show you favor, but you enjoyed yourself despite his presence, and I find he was strangely tolerable for what he is.”
Gordon sucked in a breath. “How notorious are we discussing here?”
“There are none more notorious than the one we discuss.”
“You met that one at the mall?”
I nodded, grabbing my next honey rock victim and chomping on it. “Poof! He just showed up. Don’t say his name unless you don’t mind him making an appearance. I had no idea that bit of lore was true—or why he’d care. He wants me to call his wife. Her name is Darlene.”
“This era is stranger than most,” Eoghan muttered, and he consoled hi
mself with another piece of melon.
I considered my remaining slices, and as he’d had a long day, I transferred one to his plate. “But now we have a television, gaming consoles, games, enough controllers for all three of us, and computers. Maybe he just wants us to be happy.”
That anyone wanted me to be happy might break me, but I’d keep my confused tears to myself, contained in the privacy and comfort of my bedroom.
“These are strange times,” Eoghan muttered.
That they were.
Nine
Ain’t nobody dumb enough to keep a dog that ugly around here.
I gorged myself into a comatose state on four honey rocks and a bowl of leftover stew. At Eoghan’s insistence, I took all of my medication, which resulted in me heading to bed as quite possibly the happiest woman alive.
A full stomach, no pain, and a general sense of security made all the difference in the world for me. Tomorrow, I’d look into getting furniture for the antique and the vampire, and I’d make my home into their home, too.
Having their own rooms and comfortable things they could call their own would make it harder for them to leave, and I found I enjoyed their company.
I went to sleep with a contented heart, and I woke ready to take on the world. I bounced downstairs in my pajamas to find Gordon completely covered with the blanket on the couch. I frowned at the gap in the curtains, which I grabbed to close to prevent the sun from reaching the vampire. Something dark sat on my front steps, and I frowned, blinked, and did a double take.
A big, black dog with baleful eyes sat on my front steps and guarded my lawn.
Huh. Sane people would worry over having a mean-looking dog on their front step. Me? I drew the curtains, made sure no sunlight could get through, and went to my front door to introduce myself to the puppy capable of ripping my face off if he decided he didn’t like me.