Coach Burrell and Joe Wharton, my boss and general manager, had had a knockdown drag out fight about Ki missing practice right after I had been discharged from the hospital. Coach Burrell had won. He had ranted and raved how ‘Connery was lucky he didn’t have his ass kicked back to Detroit.’ It was good to see Ki back on the ice where he belonged.
I couldn’t really believe it had only been four weeks since I stormed out of Ki’s penthouse. With my place still locked down as a crime scene and the FBI doing more than due diligence at my father’s request, I really had nowhere to go. I had checked into the Sainte Claire Hotel and had been there ever since. I worked in the office after hours to avoid running into Ki. Today was no exception. I had let myself into the arena through the vendor entrance and had gone up the staff elevator to the luxury suites to sneak in without being observed. Only Sebastian, our head of security, was acquainted with my routine. He oversaw arena operations and security—a position he took very seriously. At over six foot six, he made for an imposing figure. He reminded me of Mr. Clean with the shaved head, pierced ear, and the broad shoulders of a line-backer. His most striking feature were his baby-blue eyes. They set off his strong jaw, aquiline nose, and high cheeks bones. The man was yummy in every sense of the word. Too bad I was so in love with Ki. It physically hurt at times. Sebastian was also a genius with an MBA from MIT and a former FBI agent who had served on the presidential detail in the last administration before he retired and came on board to work for us. We’d had many late-night chats and had become chummy over coffee, not to mention he walked me back to the hotel each night. Besides Flynn, he had become my close friend and confidant.
I sat in the box a little longer to ensure the arena was empty before heading downstairs to meet Sebastian so he could escort me back to the Sainte Claire. As I made my way down to the office, I heard boisterous laughter and stopped in my tracks. Shit. It was some of the players. Travers, Taylor, Rutkowski, and one other body I couldn’t see from my angle. They were are standing around shooting the breeze with Sebastian. They were facing away from me. Luckily, I managed to make eye contact with Sebastian. I stepped into a small office to wait until the coast was clear.
A few minutes went by and Sebastian knocked on the door.
“Come in,” I stood up nervously waiting for Sebastian to show himself, but I was surprised by who stepped into the room. Ki. Shit, I am so screwed.
“Sebastian told me you were in here.” His beautiful, gray eyes landed on me. Ki looked so good in a white button-down shirt with an open collar beneath a custom black suit that contoured every muscle I knew lay underneath. I could see a hint of light hair covering his bronze chest. He smelled good too—like soap and musky cologne. His familiar scent filled my nostrils. The room was too small, or Ki was too big. His nearness suffocated my senses. My pulse raced. I could feel his searing gaze flay me wide open. I was quaking from my head straight down to my toes. It was what he did to me. There was no denying him or our connection.
I licked my lips and I noticed Ki was riveted by my nervous gesture. I knew it turned him on, which didn’t bode well for me being in such close proximity to him. I had so much to say to him, yet words failed me. I rounded the small table to keep a safe distance from Ki who looked like wanted to pounce me.
“Why would he do that?” I lifted my chin in defiance and stared back at him. Screw Ki Connery. I wasn’t some plaything he could pull out anytime he decided it was convenient for him. All the men in my life treated me like shit then abandoned me. I knew the drill by now. First my father, now Ki. I tried to convince myself none of this was my fault. However, doubt lingered in the recesses of my mind. It was the same message over and over. I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love. I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I needed to make peace with it and move on even though it hurt like hell.
“Where have you been? I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”
“Why? I don’t recall you being so concerned when I left. We keep having the same conversation, Ki. I’m tired fighting an uphill battle with you. I have nothing left to give you or us anymore. I needed to get away and figure out what I want to do with my life. I’m leaving first thing in the morning and heading to Vegas to scout for couple of weeks. Joe gave me more responsibility, so I’ll be gone a few weeks every month, that way we won’t have to see each other. It easier this way.” My pride refused to admit that running away from him was sheer torture but my only salvation at the same time.
The sadness in Ki’s eyes was killing me. One minute he acted like he wanted to seduce me, and the next he was detached and accepting of our ultimate split. I could no longer do this push-me-pull-you relationship anymore. It hurt too much. I tried to convince myself I deserved better treatment from the men in my life.
“I’m happy for you then. I just wanted to say thank you for straightening things out the FBI. I’m also sorry for jumping to conclusions that you set me up. My lawyer told me you read Benson and agent Bond the riot act. That, plus, forensics cleared me of any wrongdoing. The kidnappers pled no contest so thankfully there won’t be a trial hanging over your head. Anyway, that is all I wanted to say. Despite how things ended between us, I still love you, Zo. That will never change.”
My mind was shouting ‘No!’. He was walking away from me—from us. My heart shattered into a million little pieces. Deep down, I had always thought we could work everything out. I had held out hope with Ki, now I didn’t even have that any longer. I could feel my body shutting down. A numbness descended over me until I couldn’t form a coherent thought. This was real. He didn’t want me. I was worthless, unlovable.
“Zo, are you okay?” His voice was hardly above a whisper. He snapped me out of my self-imposed misery.
I didn’t even realize Ki had moved closer to me and had his hand on my arm. He frowned with concern. I could just reach out and touch him. I craved to lay my head on his chest and seek his comfort and let the world fall away along with my broken heart. Somehow, I resisted the urge to make a complete fool of myself with a man who no longer wanted me.
“Goodbye, Ki.” I leaned over and kissed his smooth-shaven cheek. I inhaled his heavenly, male scent one last time and allowed myself a final glance across the shoulder at his handsome face filled with sorrow and longing. I committed that image to memory because that was all I would ever have with Killian Connery.
Chapter 11
Ki
Pete’s Coffee around the corner from my home was an easy walk and I could use some downtime. I claimed my favorite booth in the corner. Even though the coffee shop was busy at all hours of the day, I enjoy its dark and cool ambiance. The smell of coffee lingered in the air. I bit into the delicious raspberry Danish and enjoyed the sugar rush. Pastry wasn’t part of my approved diet during the playing season. Our team nutritionist, Donna, would have a field day if she knew as much as an ounce of sugar had passed my lips. She pushed a raw juice diet and lean protein. For the most part, I indulged her by adding copious amounts of lean steak too. I could burn up to seventeen hundred calories during a game, so I needed to sustain my energy levels. One Danish wasn’t going to hurt. Besides, my sweet tooth couldn’t resist it. What could I say? I was a closet pastry addict.
I’d been training and playing so hard every game that I collapsed into bed each night, my brain shutting down from sheer exhaustion. I had to agree with Flynn; I had Zoe on the brain. Knowing she and Flynn had become friends on the sly didn’t help. Flynn hadn’t told Jesse either, nor did he seem to have any intention to do so. According to him, he and Jesse were going to couples counseling and made progress one session at the time. To me, their whole situation was nothing but a train wreck waiting to happen. And knowing Jesse, if she were to find out about Flynn and Zoe, she was going to make her lover boy pay dearly. Oddly enough, I was okay with the pair of them being friends. My hang up was walking away from Zoe, again. Every breath I took was tied up in her. I had lucid moments where my mind accepted the end to our relation
ship, yet my heart was constantly rebelling. Nothing felt right in my life anymore. I was going through the motions each day on autopilot. The funny thing was my drive on the ice had never been better. My stats were up, and I was leading the league in goals and points—leaving my competition, and nemesis, in the dust. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so spiteful toward the latter if I hadn’t seen him and Zoe together in Sports Illustrated. Kaden Armour and my Zoe.
The gossip mill spoke of their alliance. Alliance. What the hell did that even mean? I remembered she had told me she was headed to Vegas to do some scouting for Joe—what I hadn’t counted on was her hooking up with the one guy who trailed me in every sense of the word. Stats, records, and now apparently, ex-girlfriends. When I asked Flynn about the rumors, he clammed right up. His silence had been a gut-wrenching confirmation, so I wisely avoided the subject. The worrisome thing right now was that Armour’s contract with the Gamblers would be up for grabs soon. Joe had been itching to add him to our team. Who wouldn’t want the league’s top two defenders’ side by side? And what better way to charm Kaden Armour than to bait him with Zoe? My heart screamed in agony at the irony of it all.
The familiar sensation of a heart palpitations had my blood pressure soaring. I sipped my coffee. It hit my bloodstream. Not the wisest decision to add caffeine while I was experiencing signs of anxiety. I inhaled deeply until my anxiety dissipated. I’d been doing these deep breathing exercises I found on YouTube. At first, I thought they would be too new age for me, then I noticed benefits and got real results. At this point, I would do anything to avoid taking medication to curb the attacks. Loss of control wasn’t something I could tolerate in my life any longer. If anything, my mother had taught me that first when she took away my ability to decide my life’s course. Now she was an outsider no longer welcomed. I kept my inner circle small. It consisted of Flynn, and funnily enough, Jed Simmons. Go figure.
Jed had summoned me to his office a few weeks ago after one of our home games. I had almost ignored it, and him. Luckily for me, Flynn had made me see reason and reminded me who signed my enormous paychecks and kept me in the lap of luxury. I couldn’t argue his points. I knew I was in trouble when Flynn was the voice of reason. When had the tables turned?
Jed had apologized to me for his part in my split with Zoe all the way to his involvement with my mother and her meddling. That part had puzzled me until Jed came clean and told me they had been dating. I wasn’t sure how to digest his admission. Was I happy for him? For my mother? I had no idea. Whatever was happening between them, Jed looked happy. The only time I’d seen him happy was when the Otters claimed a victory. That made him happy. It made his sponsors happy. It made the bottom line grow. Who knew he had a heart? I had taken note that he skirted the issue of Zoe and their non-existent relationship. I had also noticed the shadow of regret that crossed his face. Jed needed to do some serious relationship repair with his daughter. I hoped one day they both could find peace as father and daughter once more.
Frankly, I couldn’t blame Zoe for her desire to travel and get away from all the bullshit and from me. I don’t know why I allowed her to walk away without fighting for her and us, once again. There was something innately wrong with me when it came to Zoe and our issues. At one time, I thought all we needed was our love and the other stuff was inconsequential. It’s the other stuff that killed our relationship. Betrayal. Rebound relationships. Trust. Hell, I’d been shaken to my very core and doubted my own instincts until I was left with nothing other than self-doubt. It wasn’t something I was accustomed too. My entire life I’d excelled at everything I did, including relationships—they were no exception, until Zoe. How could something so perfect go so wrong?
“You’re Ki, aren’t you?” a petite blonde with the bluest eyes I’d even seen asked. My cheeks flushed as she caught me off guard. I had been too caught up in my own thoughts to notice her coming up to me. I was used to fans approaching me when I was out in public, but not so much at my regular hangout. Most locals were kind enough to leave me in peace. I gave the woman a once-over, my eyes drinking her slender frame. I’d never been the type of guy to get into one-night-stands but somehow this delicate nymph brought a stirring to my loins.
I levelled a smile at her. “You would be correct. Are you a fan?” God, I sounded like a complete asshole using such an obvious, shitty line. For all I knew, she was a puck bunny looking for her next conquest.
“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her breathy voice drew my attention to her lips, plump and rouged with a matte lipstick. As her bright eyes raked over me, I suppressed a smirk. Just because I didn’t sleep around, didn’t mean I was oblivious to when a woman had a lady boner for me. Rut’s vulgar locker room talk sprang to mind. I mentally shook my head to clear those wayward thoughts. I wasn’t a pig like him.
“Is that right?”
I turned in my chair to face her. It wasn’t until I noticed her attire that I realized she worked for the Otters. The teal polo shirt which showed a hint of cleavage and tight-fitting khaki showcasing her perfect hips and tanned and toned legs. This woman worked out. My gaze took in her petite stature along with the long blonde tresses that fell in gentle waves down her back. Now it was her turn to blush as I stared at her unabashedly.
“Zoe only mentioned you like a hundred times. I’m Cami, by the way.”
We shook hands. Hers was light and delicate in my callused one.
“I’m Miss Simmons’ new executive assistant,” she offered by means of explanation.
My libido was quick to sober. Figures Zo’s new assistant was a hot chick who stirred my blood. I had to admit it felt good to have someone fawn over me. What the hell, I was a single guy with no attachments aside from the fact my heart was entangled with Zoe Simmons. Besides, I wasn’t looking for forever. If love had taught me anything, it was that fairytales belonged in books—even if for one brief period of time, I had shared that with Zoe.
“Take a seat, Cami.” I pulled the chair out for her. She hesitated a moment before giving me a shy smile and acquiesced. “What would you like?”
“Ah, just a latte, thanks, Mr. Connery.”
“Ki, please. I’ll be right back,” I tell her with her wink. Her cheeks darkened. I couldn’t help but feel endeared.
As I made my way up to the counter, I found my step was lighter and my dark thoughts vanished.
I returned with the latte and set it down on the table in front of her then slid into the chair right next to her.
“Thanks. You’re a life saver. I crave my afternoon coffee fix.” Cami gave a little moan as she sipped her coffee. My cock twitched. I was definitely going to need to take care of ‘business’ when I returned home. The sudden flash of Zoe interrupted any deviant thoughts I was having about Cami.
“So, tell me a little something about yourself.”
“Such as?”
Her mouth lifted at the corners in a shy smile. Those lips were going to be the death of me. I wondered what they tasted like. Damn, I was regressing into a horny teenager instead of acting like a responsible twenty-six-year-old.
“What brought you to work for the Otters Organization?”
“I moved from Detroit to be closer to my family.”
“Detroit?” My attention sharpened.
“Yeah, I know you were with the Steels. I promise I’m not stalking you, Ki.”
I liked the way my name rolled off her tongue. I barely knew this chick and she had me eating out of the palm of her hand. God, when she smiled, it lit up her entire face. A face I wanted to cup while pressing my lips against hers and lose myself entirely.
“That’s too bad.” Our eyes locked. The heated exchange wasn’t lost on either of us. Cami’s eyes widened in surprise only to be replaced with a leer that was positively predatorial—a kind I knew all too well evidenced by my painful hard-on. I shifted to adjust myself, but the effort was too obvious when I noticed Cami staring at my crotch. Damn, that’s hot.
“I can remedy your problem.�
�� She nodded toward my lap. There was no guile with Cami. Just matter of fact. A solution to my problem.
“Ah, I’m not sure how to respond to your offer,” I confessed.
“It’s easy, Ki just say yes.”
My jaw dropped. I preferred to do the chasing not the other way around. Cami wasn’t only confidence incarnate; the mere offer was turning me the fuck on. It was a disaster waiting to happen.
“There is non-fraternization clause in my contract,” I replied.
“Oh, come on now, Ki. You’ve played by the rules and where has it gotten you? Nothing but a broken heart and watching your ex flaunt herself with your league rival. I know deep down there is a bad boy who wants to come out and play. So, come and live a little. I promise you won’t regret it. Let’s face it, Zoe never really appreciated you, but I do. I guarantee it.”
Cami made a compelling argument. My painful erection agreed with her. Maybe if we were discreet it could work. What could go wrong? Plenty. I would be risking a lot. For once, I wish I could get out of my head, literally.
“What about Zoe?”
“What about her?” Cami quirked an eyebrow.
“She is your boss and my ex. If I consider this arrangement, it could get complicated.”
“Only if you allow it. Look, I just want a little fun and I know deep down you want some too. It’s written all over your face. I can help you move on like Zoe did.”
The realization stung. No matter how hard I had been denying it, the truth was it did look like Zoe had moved on without me. Now I was considering an affair with her assistant. Man, this was fifty shades of fucked up. Tread carefully, Connery, I chided myself.
On Ice, A Hockey Romance Page 10