“Is she okay?”
“Call them, stat,” the nurse ordered me in a no-nonsense voice as I nearly panicked.
I did as instructed. Soon, an entire medical swarmed into the room with a gurney. A couple of orderlies lifted Zoe onto it while I updated them on her history. She looked so small and frail lying on the table.
“Where are they taking her?”
“Most likely to the maternity ward.” The nurse gave me a once over. “You need to get some rest. You look like you are going to drop any minute.”
“You’re right.” I nodded. I was no good to anyone if I keeled over from exhaustion. I had gotten a few hours of sleep wedged in a chair that proved way too small for me. My head was throbbing from lack of sleep and the constant worry. I needed to call Jed and let him know about Zoe. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. He picked up on the second ring.
“Austin, what’s the matter?” His voice sounded raspy and rough. I looked at my watch. Four in the morning. No wonder.
“It’s Zoe. They took her back to maternity. She’d locked herself in the bathroom and the next thing I know I hear glass shattering. By the time we got the door open, she was lying unconscious in a pool of blood.”
“Is it the baby?” His voice quivered with emotion.
“I don’t know.” My voice trailed off. “I suggest you get down here right away.”
“I don’t want my girl being left alone. I’m heading over right now. I’ll see you in a few,” Jed sighed, and the line went dead.
I stared at my phone, contemplating calling Jesse and I hesitated. What could I possibly tell her? I needed to be with Zoe instead of her. She had begrudgingly relented because I wanted to be near Ki, but Zoe was a contentious subject between us. Jesse had been railing at me for taking sides, and she was spot on even though I denied it because of my feelings for Zoe. Could you be in love with two different women at the same time? My soul felt like it was being torn apart. I was a selfish bastard. If I couldn’t have Zoe at least I’d take any scraps, as pathetic as that sounded—love had me all fucked up.
“Fuck.”
I heard a noise and turned around to witness Ki struggling to sit up. He proved too weak still and lay back down.
“Ki take it easy, man. You’re in no condition to get up. Let me call the nurse.”
One of the many ICU nurses came in. I watched as she removed the breathing tube from Ki’s throat. He gagged and choked during the procedure. I cringed. A few moments passed and Ki was breathing on his own. Thank fuck. In his weakened state, he was pale and listless, exhausted from his ordeal. His eyes sought mine for answers.
“What happened to me?” he rasped, then looked about the room. “Where’s Zoe?” His eyes shut from the exertion. It didn’t take much to zap his energy reserves.
I heaved a deep sigh. I’d rather not have this conversation when in the back of mind my I knew I had betrayed this man with his own wife.
“One thing at a time. You had a ruptured spleen, which they removed. Shortly after surgery, an infection set in and you slipped into a coma. It’s a fucking miracle you are awake. That bastard Lonergan is responsible for all this.”
I hoped the bastard was facing suspension and a hefty fine. The dirty prick had been getting away with his goon tactics for too long and the league had pretty much been ignoring his antics. With the press corps following Ki, however, I highly doubted he’d be able to walk away from this fiasco. The media was crucifying him, and the public demanded his head on a platter for putting their Stanley Cup winner in the hospital. The fucking coward had gone into hiding after receiving death threats. Served him right.
“Damn. But what about Zoe. Where the hell is she?”
“They took her to the maternity ward. She collapsed. That’s all I know. I was just on my way to check on her.” I left out all the gory details. There was plenty of time to ease into that conversation.
“Did she…” Ki’s words trail off. I saw the distressed look in his eyes fearing the worst about the baby.
“I don’t know any details, man. I’m sorry to be the bearer of this news just as you wake up.”
“It’s not your fault, Flynn. Thanks for being there for her.”
The knife in my gut just twisted further. Ki was thanking me for being there for Zoe. I knew he would find out since it was all over the press. It wasn’t a matter of how rather when.
“I’d better go check on Zoe. I’ll be back later. I promise to give you an update.” I squeezed his shoulder and left the room.
I barely made it out the door before I slumped against the wall. I scrubbed my hands through my hair. Something told me he knew or maybe it was the guilt written all over my face, yet he hadn’t mentioned a thing. I didn’t deserve a friend like him. I need to man up and deal with this shitstorm head on. As I headed to the nurse’s station, I passed the waiting room and the news caught my attention. My eyes were riveted to the screen. Standing before the paparazzi was Jesse.
Chapter 18
Jesse
I took a deep breath, calming myself before making my statement to the press. I wasn’t going to let Cami Adams win her vendetta against Zoe if it meant Flynn got dragged down into the gutter with her. I knew all about Flynn’s obsession with Zoe Simmons and her hold over him. So, I had no problem with Cami’s efforts to sabotage Zoe and Ki’s relationship, but Cami was a one-woman wrecking ball who was destroying what Flynn and I had as well. Ever since my cancer diagnosis and Flynn’s incessant need to be with Zoe, my sanity dwindled a little more each day. He and I were constantly at odds to the point where the stress was becoming too much for me to deal with. Then Flynn had come clean about having kissed Zoe and how torn apart he felt by his feelings for both of us. Oddly enough, I understood. I felt the same way about Ki. Talk about dysfunctional relationships.
I took a final glance in the mirror, hardly recognizing the person staring back at me. All I saw was a haggard, sick woman who looked years beyond her age. I frowned. Maybe karma was catching up to me. My revenge had tasted sweet at first but soon the bitterness began to eat away at my insides until it ultimately felt as if it had consumed my soul. I was certain my cancer was the result of my resentment for Zoe Simmons, a woman I once adored and considered a sister. Maybe if I hadn’t gotten in trouble with the sex tape, maybe if Vivienne hadn’t manipulated me with it, things would have turned out differently. I would never know, but I did know that it was time to end this shitshow once and for all.
I approached the paparazzi that had invaded every square inch of the hospital lobby. A hush descended upon them. My palms were sweaty as I unfolded the paper with my statements, triggering a few camera flashes in the process. I cleared my throat.
“Good morning. Many of you may know me. I am Jesse Ward. I stand here before you today to clear up the slanderous accusations that have been circulating in the press. I would like to begin by stating that the rumors about my fiancé Flynn Austin and Zoe Simmons-Connery are untrue. These falsehoods were leaked by Miss Cami Adams, Zoe Connery’s former executive assistant. I understand she is no longer with the Otters Organization as we speak. Miss Adams is obsessed with Killian Connery, Mrs. Connery’s husband, and has made inappropriate passes toward Mr. Connery. When Mr. Connery rejected her advances, Miss Adams decided not only to stalk the Connery’s but to also throw false accusations at my fiancé with the intend of driving the Connery’s apart.” I took a breath and turned over the paper. It was creased from how tightly I had been holding it. “The only thing my fiancé can be accused of is being a supportive and caring friend to Mrs. Connery during these difficult times. For Miss Adams to publicly suggest that either of them has engaged in immoral behavior is sheer spitefulness on her part. On a positive note, I am happy to report that the Connery’s are expecting their first child, which is due sometime in fall this year. My fiancé and I are thrilled for both of them and wish them nothing but the best. Thank you.”
My mouth had scarcely closed, or a cacophony of q
uestions was thrown my way. Camera flashes blinded me as I made my retreat to the bank of elevators. My heart was racing like a highspeed train, but at the same time, I felt a sense of relief and perhaps a small redemption for my past deeds. There was only one person I wanted to see now. I was waiting patiently for the elevator when the doors opened, and he was there in front of me. Flynn’s face was impassive as he stared at me. Indecision and doubt took a hold of me. All I wanted to do was fling myself into his arms. Instead, I stood rooted to the spot and averted my gaze. His silence filled me with dread. Had I done the right thing, or had I just made things worse? I couldn’t gauge this quiet Flynn when our new norm was being at each other’s throats. All the fight had dissipated within me. I stepped away thinking the worst had come to pass when Flynn grabbed onto my arm and prevented me from leaving.
“Did you mean it?” His blue eyes blazed with love and longing—a look I hadn’t seen in a while. I’d accustomed myself to our many arguments over Zoe. My resentment had been clouding my judgment and had led to numerous fights over the past few months. I had blamed everyone and everything, except myself. The need to make amends to those I had hurt was my only mission at this point no matter the outcome. Flynn might not forgive me, but I would live with the consequences of my actions. I could only move forward, hopefully with Flynn by my side. Nothing put one’s life quite into perspective like a life-threatening illness. If I had to face death, I didn’t want to be alone and die unloved. A swell of emotion engulfed me. I was unable to answer Flynn and just nodded instead. I collapsed into his arms and held on for dear life because that was exactly what I was facing. I wanted to live. I wanted to love Flynn and marry him. I wanted to have babies with this man. I wanted to carry on our legacy through our love. A love that had frightened me at one time though no longer. I prayed to God to be given a second chance with him because he was the sun that lit up even my darkest parts. Flynn Austin was all I needed.
“I love you.” I buried my head against his chest and felt his strong and steady heartbeat. It calmed me. I realized I wanted to fight this cancer. I wanted to fight for us.
“Jess,” Flynn spoke softly.
Just hearing the way he spoke my name was like a soft caress—so tender and filled with love that a calm settled over me. Something in me shifted and told me in I was invincible. Love transformed us in so many ways. It was mysterious and miraculous. Love could broker forgiveness, healing the shattered parts of our souls, and above all, love gave hope where none was previously found. I wanted to etch this moment into my memory and hold onto it for all it represented and more.
“We have a long road ahead of us,” I finally spoke.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” Flynn kissed my temple.
I cherished his simple gesture. It was sacred and binding like his love. I was done questioning his motives. I knew he wasn’t perfect. None of us were. Life was precious and fleeting and I didn’t want to waste another moment focusing on the negative. I wanted to enjoy each minute I’d been given. Admittedly, the unknown scared me. However, what scared me more was not living in the present.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry too,”
I searched his face. His brow furrowed. “What do you need to be sorry for?”
“For not being there for you when you needed me the most. And for my feelings toward Zoe. I was a fool to throw what we have away for something that never could be. What we have is real, and I want a life with you and whatever may come.”
The agony in his voice nearly undid me. “Flynn, you don’t…”
His lips silenced me. It didn’t matter. We had another chance to start over and I wanted to take advantage of every precious second that we had.
Ki
I pressed the button to up my pain meds. The pain in my left side was excruciating. My throat still burned from when the nurse had removed the tube. I grumbled. I hated feeling weak. I couldn’t even take a piss without a nurse hovering me. Privacy wasn’t something you got in a hospital when you were stuck on your back. The damn machine that siphoned my blood like some starved vampire wasn’t helping either. The ordeal warred on my nerves and my temper was short and blacker than night. Worst of all, I still hadn’t seen Zoe. They had her on psych watch strapped to a fetal monitor. I refused to believe she’d do anything to endanger herself or the baby, though according to Flynn, the evidence wasn’t in her favor. The ache in my heart served as a constant reminder of how I’d failed her once again. I knew none of it was technically my fault. Regardless, this wasn’t how our lives were supposed to be. We should’ve been on top of the world, celebrating instead being trapped in a hospital.
I swallowed hard, choking down the emotions which threatened to take over. I blinked away the wetness in my eyes and steeled myself against my own dark thoughts. I couldn’t wrap my head around the mounting evidence. Zoe was the strongest woman I knew—a survivor. She made me want to be a better man, and I wanted to give her all that, except our future was uncertain.
A knock on the door broke into my troubling thoughts. I turned my head and saw the one person I thought I would never see again standing in the doorway—Lonergan, the fucker.
“What do you want?” I growled. I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea from the powerful cocktail flowing through my veins overwhelmed me.
The six-foot five brickhouse hockey player seemed hesitant to move closer. I couldn’t blame him. If I’d had any strength, I didn’t know if I could be trusted to not beat his ass to a fine pulp. His actions had cost me a lot both personally and professionally. The doctors couldn’t definitively tell me if I would ever play hockey again. Another blow. They just kept coming, all because of one man’s actions and the very one staring at me looking like he wanted to bolt at any moment. He wasn’t so brave without his lumber waiting to slash me again.
“Well?” I prodded for a response.
“I had a speech all prepared but when I see you lying here, man, I don’t know what to say. I…I guess I mainly wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. My obsession to win got the better of me. I never meant for any of this to happen.” Regret laced his voice. His complexion was ruddy with embarrassment and his eyes downcast, unable to escape my scathing look.
Anger emboldened me. I wanted to twist the knife a little deeper and make him feel every bit of pain my family was going through because of him. Except I knew even my harshest words wouldn’t even the score by even a tenth. “You think an apology will absolve you of any of this? Do you know my wife has been hospitalized because of the stress you’ve put us through? Do you realize we might lose the baby?” My jaw clenched with renewed anger. His presence was just another reminder of Zoe’s predicament and the possibility my hockey career might be at an end.
Lonergan and I both knew what an aggressive sport hockey was. Players got hurt. It was the risk we were willing to take because we loved the game that much. When we signed our hefty contracts, it was all part of the deal. Signed, sealed, and delivered including the aftermath of how it affected our bodies. The best either of us could hope for was to make it to retirement with our teeth and bodies intact. There were no guarantees.
Lonergan lowered his head. “It’s probably not much of a consolation, but I’ve been suspended for twenty games and fined. They are making an example of me. Not that it makes up for anything. The press has been crucifying me. My family and I have even received death threats…” his voice trailed off.
The hostility I felt for Lonergan dissipated. I wasn’t the only one suffering from this fucked up fiasco. The press was eating this shit up like a locust plague. They were destroying everything in their path, including Lonergan’s family.
“Shit, man, I had no idea. Would it help if I accepted your apology?” It was the least I could do. Holding grudges didn’t solve anything to my way of thinking.
“It helps a little.” Lonergan quirked a hint of a smile. His body relaxed for the first time since he had set foot into my
room. Before long, his brow furrowed again. “So, how are you really doing and don’t bullshit me, Connery. I want the truth.”
I heaved a sigh. “I don’t have an answer for you. The doctors don’t know if I will be able to play again.” The truth was as ugly as it sounded. I wasn’t pulling any punches with Lonergan.
“Fuck.”
“My response, exactly.” I snorted. “At least we agree on something.”
“It’ll take more than me to bring you down, Connery,” Lonergan chirped.
“Trash-talking a sick man?”
“Always. Can I stop by again?” he asked.
“Only on one condition.”
“And what would that be?”
Before I could reply, Flynn stepped into the room and shock registered on his face when he set eyes on Lonergan. He laid him out flat with one punch.
‘What the fuck, man?” I stared at my best friend who was shaking his hand. Lonergan had a jaw made of granite. Flynn probably hadn’t taken that into account when he flattened him.
“What’s he doing here?” Flynn glared at Lonergan who sat up rubbing his jaw.
“You can call off your guard dog, Connery.” Lonergan scowled right back at Flynn.
We were interrupted by Teri, my nurse, who I found out was a die-hard LA Ducks fan, much to my dismay. She never let an opportunity pass to rub it in, including wearing LA Ducks scrubs. Who knew they even made NHL scrubs?
“Gentlemen, please remove yourself before I call security and have you both escorted out.” Teri sternly pointed at Flynn and Lonergan. She was only five feet tall but exuded the authority of a drill sergeant.
The guys glanced at me as if I could do anything about it. “You better go and no more sucker punches, Flynn,” I warned him.
He was still rubbing his sore hand, shrugged, and flashed his typical smirk. “Sure thing, Sly. I’ll stop by later,” Flynn said before extending his good hand to help Lonergan off the floor.
On Ice, A Hockey Romance Page 16