I laugh a little. “I can’t resist you.”
He meets my eyes. “Same.”
“It should be mutual. I’m ready. I want it to be you.” And more. I want all of you.
“You don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You think you do, but you don’t.”
Despair immediately dampens my afterglow. He’s never going to let me in.
I push him away from me. “Don’t tell me what I’m thinking. I know my mind!”
I open the door and rush out, nearly running into Wyatt.
“Are you okay, runt?” Wyatt asks and then looks over my shoulder to Adam, who was obviously just alone in the library with me. “What were you doing in the library together?”
13
Adam
Shit. This is exactly what Wyatt warned me not to do. He said only get involved if it’s serious. Kayla is the marrying type. I couldn’t help it. Kayla was avoiding me, and I knew if I could get her alone, I could remind her why she likes spending so much time with me. I couldn’t stand her being mad at me.
“Nothing,” Kayla says to Wyatt, which is obviously untrue. Her hair is mussed by my hands, her face and chest flushed from her recent orgasm, even her lips are red. Those pouty sexy lips.
“Oh, hey, guys,” Sydney says, appearing at Wyatt’s side. “We’re about to make teams for volleyball, you in?”
“Just a minute,” Wyatt says, sparing Sydney a brief glance. “Adam was just about to explain what he’s doing in the library with my sister.”
Sydney presses her lips together, fighting back a smile. Did Kayla tell her about us? That’s risky. She could easily spill to Wyatt.
“It’s not a big deal, Wyatt,” Kayla says, waving toward the library. “I was just looking around, admiring his woodwork. It’s been a while since I’ve been in here.”
“Admiring his wood, huh?” Sydney quips. “I’ve heard that one before.”
Wyatt shoots her a dark look.
“It’s nothing,” I say. “We’re friends.”
Wyatt steps closer to Kayla, inspecting her neck. He jabs a finger at her. “Then why does she have whisker burn on her neck?”
I peer at her. It’s a mark from my teeth, actually, but I don’t think he’ll appreciate the clarification.
“So we made out a little,” Kayla says. “Happy now? Let’s go play volleyball.”
“No, I’m not happy,” Wyatt says. “I’m the one who helped you put yourself back together after you were left at the altar. I knew I shouldn’t have let you play the fake-engagement game. This is what happens.” He pins me with a hard look. “And I specifically told you to leave her alone unless you’re serious. Are you serious?”
“No,” I admit.
Kayla’s shoulders droop as she stares at the floor. I instantly wish I could take it back. It’s not casual, but it’s not serious either. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to stop being with her. I don’t even care about pretending to be engaged anymore. All I care about is Kayla with her beaming smiles and sunny personality. She’s so easy to be with.
“Kayla,” I start.
She holds up a hand, her chin jutting out. “Yup. Casual.” She walks out on stiff legs, and Sydney follows her.
Wyatt grabs me by the shirt. “What did you do? She’s upset. Did you make her promises like it was serious?”
“No.” I knock his hand off me. “She’s fine. She agreed it’s casual.”
“Do I have to teach you Women 101? Her tone was all wrong, and she walked out of the room stiff-legged. She’s upset, genius.”
I look over to where Kayla just left and turn back to him. “Look, I’d never hurt her.”
“You already did. God, I’d punch you in the face if you weren’t so damn clueless. Just stay away from her from now on.”
He turns and leaves.
The hell with that. I did nothing wrong. I went out of my way to make sure Kayla had no regrets when it came to our time together. I’ve only ever given her pleasure. And she’s returned the favor just by being her sweet bubbly self.
I take a few moments to consider my next move and arrive outside to chaos.
The green canopy is half-collapsed, the food on the patio table is scattered everywhere, and everyone’s running around chasing Snowball and Rexie.
I go over to the table, where Caleb and Jenna are cleaning up the mess with paper towels. “What happened?”
“Dogs made an escape,” Jenna says. “They were all tied to the same canopy pole and made a break for the food when no one was looking.”
Had to be Tank. He’s very food motivated and strong. I guess someone tied Snowball and Rexie to the same pole, and Tank probably pulled hard enough to set them all free.
Wyatt’s screaming like a desperate man for Snowball in the woods. Drew, Audrey, and a few others are going for Rexie, who’s running in a weird zigzag pattern all over the expansive lawn.
I look under the table. There’s Tank, lying down with his head on his paws, looking content. A mangled plastic plate is next to him, along with scattered corn kernels. He doesn’t like corn. “What did you do?”
He lifts his brows as if to say problem? And then closes his eyes and goes to sleep.
I don’t bother with his leash. He’s not going anywhere. I straighten. “How much food was out?”
“Mostly a variety of salads,” Caleb says, indicating the mess. “Not too popular with the dogs. I’d say there were four hot dogs left.”
“And a couple of burgers,” Jenna says. “Sydney was just starting to put stuff away when she saw Wyatt go inside, noticed you and Kayla hadn’t come out yet, and went in to hold off a showdown.”
Caleb grins. “Was there a showdown?”
I shrug and look off in the distance as the humans yell and run while the dogs look like they’re enjoying a game of chase. “He’s not happy.” Neither is Kayla.
“He’ll come around,” Jenna says. “He just has to get used to his baby sister having a…” She winks. “Social life.”
She was about to say sex life. It occurs to me Kayla has shared our private stuff with her friends. Not cool. Kayla always says whatever’s on her mind whenever. There are limits. I need to have a talk with her.
I walk away, heading over to Sydney. “Does Kayla share stuff about us?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry. It’s all covered in the sisterhood code. I haven’t said a word to Wyatt.” She shakes her head, smiling, as Wyatt dodges to the right to catch Snowball, and the dog goes left, neatly avoiding him. Wyatt stumbles and barely rights himself in time, before taking off after her again, Snowball’s leash flying behind her.
I clench my jaw. “That’s private. I can’t believe she told you stuff.”
“Your woman is an open book. Be glad. You’ll always know what she’s thinking.”
Except I don’t get what she’s so mad about. I watch as Kayla crouches down, coaxing Rexie to go to her, who looks like she’s thinking about it, until Drew comes up behind Rexie. She takes off again, running around the side of the house.
Sydney whistles sharply. “Rexie, come.” The dog runs straight to Sydney’s side, panting and looking up at her adoringly. “Good girl,” Sydney murmurs, taking her leash. “Enough playtime.”
She turns and yells, “Wyatt, I got Rexie. Stop running after Snowball. She thinks you’re playing.”
“I have to get her back!” He turns. “Snowball, come! I’m not fooling around!” She breaks from the tree line and runs toward the grassy lawn.
Wyatt runs after her, dives for her leash, and grabs it. Snowball twists and takes off, her harness popping right off. A blur of little white fur zips past us, running toward the house.
Wyatt takes off like a maniac after her. “Snowball, come!”
“This is where an electric fence could help!” Sydney yells.
Wyatt barely breaks stride. “Snowball is too sensitive for a shock!”
“Such a softie,” Sydney murmurs.
/> Snowball gets to the patio door and paws it to be let in. Wyatt opens the door and shuts it behind them, bending at the waist to catch his breath, and giving Sydney a thumbs-up.
“Gotta love his dedication to those he loves,” Sydney says dreamily before joining him with Rexie.
A few minutes later, they return with the dogs outside and get Snowball back into her harness.
Wyatt clips a square plastic tag to Snowball’s collar. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. GPS tracker is better than an electric fence any day. Syd, take the tracker I gave you off your keychain and put it on Rexie’s collar. I’ll order more.”
“That’s a great idea,” Kayla calls over. “Dog trackers.” And then she pulls her keychain out of her purse, removes the square tracker, and puts it on Tank’s collar.
My chest aches. She’s such a caring person, looking out for my dog. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as caring as she is.
It’s going to suck when she leaves for her new job.
Once the food’s cleaned up, the canopy put away, and the dogs safely inside, Sydney and Drew start to divide us up into volleyball teams. They’re both super competitive when it comes to games, and they’re picking out tall people for the advantage.
Wyatt’s already on Sydney’s team, and the tall math teacher, Steve, is on Drew’s team.
Sydney chooses me, and Drew immediately chooses Caleb. I watch as everyone is divvied up until it’s just down to Audrey and Kayla, the short ones. I tried to get Sydney to choose Kayla, but she shooed me away. It must be insulting for those two. Even the old guy, Nicholas, was chosen before them.
Audrey’s eyes are locked on Drew, willing him to choose her. It’s his turn to pick.
“Audrey,” he says.
She does a little hop and heads over to his team. He gestures for her to go up front close to the net.
Kayla wanders over to our side.
“No offense,” Sydney says. “You’re just short.”
“I could be good at volleyball,” Kayla returns. “You don’t know.”
Sydney checks in with Wyatt, who shakes his head. Sydney turns her back to Kayla and gestures me forward with a subtle wiggle of her fingers. She wants me to cover for Kayla. I’m happy to. I go up front next to her.
Good thing too. She keeps missing the ball or not hitting it hard enough to get over the net. I’m there to save it. We’re a team.
We win, and I offer her a high five. She doesn’t return it. “Adam, I could’ve done those shots myself.”
“You just needed an assist.”
“I didn’t.”
Wyatt scowls at me and puts his arm around her shoulders, guiding her away. Seriously? He doesn’t have to intervene. She’s fine.
Only things get worse. Kayla’s snippy with me for the rest of the party, and I know we’re going to have an uncomfortable drive back. She probably won’t even want to stop by my place, even though we’ve gotten used to watching a movie on Sunday nights with popcorn and Tank curled up by our feet. It’s strange how quickly I’ve gotten used to having her in my life.
I can tell it’s not going to go well the moment she gets in my car. She glances back at Tank. “Tank had a good time.”
“You didn’t?”
“It would’ve been better without Wyatt’s interference, dontcha think?”
I make a quick K-turn and pull out of the driveway, surprised at her assessment. I thought she was mad at me when she’s mad at her brother. “I told him not to worry about it. We both agreed it’s casual.”
“Right. It means nothing. Just fooling around. Half benefits.”
“Yeah,” I say slowly, though it feels awful to hear her say it means nothing. It means something, right? “We just like being together, and sometimes we cross the line, but it’s nothing that couldn’t be uncrossed at any moment.”
“Well, that’s the important thing, isn’t it?” she asks brightly. “No permanent damage done.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything’s great.”
“It doesn’t sound great.”
“No, it is. I wanted casual. You obviously want the same thing, so there’s no problem here.”
I glance at her, unsure what to say. Agreeing seems the only way to go. “Right.”
She huffs. “I can’t take this anymore.”
“Take what?”
“It’s my fault,” she mutters. “I brought this on myself. I said one thing, thinking it was fine, and then it got weird, and I’m still a frigging virgin, and nothing is turning out anywhere near fine.”
“Do you not want to fool around anymore, is that the problem? ’Cause that’s okay by me. We can go back to being friends. That’s always an option.”
She gets quiet.
It’s unnerving, but I have no idea what to say. I’m not even sure what the problem is.
A few minutes later, I pull up to my street.
“No, I want to go home,” she says.
I pull around the cul-de-sac and head toward her place. “I don’t get the problem. We agreed it’s casual. Is it not casual anymore?”
“It’s not anything.” She looks out the window. “I can’t see you anymore, okay?”
“Even as friends?”
“We were never friends,” she mutters.
“The hell we weren’t. You insisted on being my friend. We talked for months before we crossed the line. You think I let just anyone in?”
Her head whips toward me. “See? You think this screwed-up situation is all my fault too.”
“It’s not screwed up. It’s fine.”
“Nothing is fine, and the fact that you think that is exactly the problem.”
I’m so confused. I park at The Horseman Inn and look at her. I don’t know how to fix this because I don’t get what changed. Everything seemed fine, and then suddenly it’s not.
She leans over and kisses my cheek. “Bye, Adam.”
My stomach drops at the words, everything in me protesting. It sounds like a breakup. How can that be when we were never a couple? “Kayla.”
She shakes her head, opens the door, and races to the back of the restaurant to her apartment entrance. I’m tempted to follow her, but I don’t know what I’d say to convince her we don’t have to end. Not completely.
Tank makes a doggy whine from the back seat like he’s upset that we just lost our best friend. Me too, buddy.
Adam
I haven’t seen Kayla in two days, and I miss her with an ache that just won’t stop. I miss her beaming smile, her sparkling eyes, her cheerful talk. Somehow the two of us fell into a relationship.
Okay, I get that she’s frustrated with me. I’ve been holding her off from sex, trying to let her wait for the guy she’ll one day meet and marry.
I’m not looking for marriage. She even said we wouldn’t be compatible that way.
I just need to talk to her again.
I show up at The Horseman Inn on Tuesday night. I’m not sure if she’s working tonight. If she’s not, I’ll try her apartment.
I greet the host with a brief nod, scanning the front dining room for her, and then continue on to the back room. No Kayla. And then I hear her laugh and spot her standing next to the table in the back, where my brother Drew likes to sit when he watches the game.
I shift to see his expression. He’s actually smiling at her. Anger spikes through me. I’m mad because Drew knows Kayla’s my friend, and I’m mad at Kayla because that’s my brother. Is she so frustrated with me that she’s propositioning him? She did say she thought he was great the way he looked out for Sydney and checked on the restaurant regularly. I hate that I’m jealous.
She pulls out her phone and taps on it, listening to him intently. She’s getting his number.
I take a step forward, ready to intervene, and then I remember I have no hold on her. She told me goodbye. She said she couldn’t do this whatever it is with me anymore.
I can’t stand to watch. I tur
n and stride quickly out of the restaurant. I don’t know what I thought would happen. I had no speech planned. I just wanted to see her.
Now I have the gut-churning, chest-aching horrible feelings to show for it.
Perfect.
I make it through the rest of the week in a fog, my mind replaying every conversation with Kayla at my place, at the lake, at Clover Park, and around Summerdale. I’m trying to figure out where it went wrong. She said she wanted me to take her virginity. I said let’s wait a month.
Now it’s more than a month and she’s mad.
Okay, so she’s frustrated, but now she doesn’t want to see me anymore, so how does she expect me to help her out if we don’t see each other? How does that make sense?
She said she didn’t want me to think of her as the kind of woman you marry. She even gave me every reason we weren’t compatible. What did she say? Something like: I’m very talkative, and you prefer quiet. I like character-driven dramas; you like boring baseball. I love to dance and have fun at parties; you like to work your wood. We have nothing in common besides our siblings.
Those things are still true, I guess. But some of those kind of work together. I like listening to her talk. Sure, we don’t like to watch the same shows, but I like having her pressed up against my side when we watch TV no matter what’s on. And I don’t mind doing things that are fun for her because I want her to be happy. And she admires my carpentry work. I’m sure I could admire her biostatistician work with its pattern of numbers. Or at least I’d appreciate it because it’s what she’s good at.
I think back to Amelia. I’ve only seen her a few times at the lake on my walks with Kayla and Tank and felt nothing. What did we used to have in common? Why did I think we’d work as a married couple? The sex was explosive, usually after a fight. Amelia used to harp on me about not talking much, always asking me what I was thinking, like my silence indicated something against her. She always wanted reassurance that I loved her. Even though I thought inviting her to live with me showed that. Now that I think back on it, we didn’t have much in common at all. She likes travel, new experiences, meeting new people all the time. I like a quiet life in a town that has everything I ever wanted—community, family, nature.
Dashing: A Friends to Lovers Romantic Comedy (Unleashed Romance, Book 2) Page 13