by Pixie Chica
“Sure. Next, you’ll tell me you’re Santa Claus,” I joke, grabbing a tin and filling it with cookies. I need him out of here.
“Almost, I’m Joe Claus, but I’m hoping Dad will let me take over. Also, I'm not using any lines, just speaking from the heart. I get that you’re guarded, and I like that since it means you don’t let men near you much. Regardless, I came to give you this and confirm our date.”
He pulls the doll I never thought I’d see again from behind his back, and I instantly snatch it from his hand, not believing it’s the same one. Sure enough, it is. My initials I’d written on the back prove it. I can’t believe he got it. Confused about how to feel, I force him out the door and lock it behind me.
EVEN WITH THE DOLL in my hands, none of this feels real, but instead it seems like I’m being dragged into a hoax. He’s been outside my door this whole time, refusing to leave until I agree to the date. Kent will have a field day with this, declaring Joe a stalker. But is he? The man is obviously delusional, thinking he’s Santa Claus’ heir, yet, for a moment, I wanted to believe him. Who else could deliver a doll that’s literally been held hostage for years?
But Crystal Sugarplum is a cynical and realistic person, despite my last name, and she will not be taken in by some trick. I call my brother, Theodore. I need to know if our parents are doing this to fuck with my head. I wouldn’t put it past them as my mother can be pretty evil when she doesn’t get her way.
After thirty minutes of Theo assuring me they aren’t, we end our call. Theo is the one person I can always trust to tell the truth. He’s always been straightforward and to the point. When things are happening around the house, he tells me.
With nothing left to do but face Joe before someone calls the manager or cops, I open the door, causing him to fall back since he’d been leaning on it. His head lands on the floor, right between my legs, and yes, I’m wearing a fucking skirt.
“Holy shit! Where are your panties?”
“Get up right now!” I scream while trying to hide my goods. “You act like you’ve never seen a naked woman before.”
“Not in the flesh.”
“Sticking with that, huh? Fine. Lesson number one, not every woman has underwear on all the time. You’ve heard the term ‘going commando,’ right? Don’t tell me you haven’t.”
“I live in the North Pole, and it gets very cold,” he says with a shrug as he stands, like his response makes perfect sense.
Great. I’m attracted to a man with a Santa complex, who swears he’s a virgin and has the ability to grant wishes. I’ve hit the motherlode. Why am I even entertaining this? And then he stands up, reminding me how attractive he is, how his smile turns me into a puddle of goo.
Mentally shaking myself, I wrap my bitch on wheels persona around me, place my hands on my hips, and give him an intense glare. “What are you doing here? Can’t you take a hint?”
He leans toward me, his mouth mere inches from mine, and informs me, “I want that date you promised me.”
“I don’t recall doing such a thing.”
“Hmm...maybe this will jar your memory.” And then he quickly pulls me against him, and the scent of earth, pine, and something undeniably masculine hits me, a mix I know I’ll now forever associate with him. But it’s his tongue teasing my lips, coaxing them to open, that tells me he’s going to ruin me. Our kiss isn’t rushed nor rough as I’d expected, but slow and soft, almost as if he’s cherishing every second of it.
My heart races from the electricity coursing through me, and my brain tells me I need to stop this, but I don’t listen. I can’t. The way our tongues dance feels as if our souls are uniting. As soon as that thought hits me, I find the strength to push him away. If I don’t, he’ll have me believing in fairytales.
I glance up at him, shocked he seems just as affected as I am. “I need you to go now.”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel that.”
“I don’t know what that was. I’m confused.”
He stares at me, determination on his face. “I’m staying until you tell me a time.”
“Fine, but you need to do something for me.”
“Again?”
“Did you think it’d be easy? Let’s see how good you are at being Santa Claus.”
Chapter 4
Joe
The last three days have been hell, and I’m living my own crazy rendition of Santa Baby. Crystal thinks she can shake me by asking for outrageous things, but it only makes me that much more motivated to win her over. No amount of pushing me away will get me to leave her alone, especially when I remember her melting in my arms during our kiss. Just the memory of her body fitting perfectly against mine is one I can’t forget. Or how her soft lips opened as I slipped my tongue in and discovered what paradise is made of. Asking me to give that up is like asking me to give up a part of me, because that’s what she is. The better part of me that has been missing for years.
I was sent here to find my sister and stay undercover. I’m failing miserably at both, but all I can focus on is that blonde I’m gone for. All I want is to make her happy and I’ll will stop at nothing to make her mine.
Which is why I’ve completed countless tasks and delivered over a hundred items which include: a family heirloom doll, a statue made out of exactly 143 candy canes, a shrine to her made out of seashells, a designer cake that had a three month waiting list, a sand sculpture in front of her shop, and now, she wanted Cupid’s bow and arrow. Not only that, she wants to see it in action, and I have to figure out where she will be without any hints.
When she told me this, I knew this would be it. I had to deliver. Where did it leave me? Promising my cousin Romeo Cupid, my 1964 Chevy Camaro, that I just got not even a month ago. That one hurt a tad bit, but it will all be worth it when I finally have Crystal as my wife. I even had the bow and arrow delivered on a private jet. Now to go out with a bang. I needed a plan so crazy it would leave no doubt I was the one for her.
“You sure this is going to work?” I ask the drag queens I befriended a couple hours ago. I was sitting on a bench outside of their club, going through the last of my resources trying to find her. As they walked into the club, they spotted the bow and arrow and began with their questions...
Fully engrossed in my ordeal, I told them my tale, minus the Santa part, including Crystal’s name. Imagine my surprise when not only did they know her, claiming her roommate worked there as a DJ, but she would be there tonight. Luck was on my side! If it weren’t for them, I would have not been able to pass this test. The sneaky woman was going to drive me half insane.
“It’s Crystal. She’s turned down men left and right. She’s even been known to pepper spray a few who wouldn’t take the hint, so if she’s let you get this far, I think you might make it. Besides, there’s no way she’s not going to love your little number. Hell, if she won’t take you, I will,” Olivia Lightning Fuck says to me, making me chuckle.
“Okay, you’re up lover boy. Make this worthwhile,” Jessica Rabbid, the other drag queen who’s been helping me tonight, calls out.
I follow her out of the dressing room, behind the stage and up the stairs. The place is dark, and everyone is paying attention to the music. I’m thankful for that since I need to be discreet to pull this off.
Jessica helps me into my harness. I hope it’s sturdy enough to support my frame so I don't plummet to my death. The things I do for love. I know most people would find these types of feelings insane, but it’s my reality. I’m madly in love with Crystal.
Wiping my sweaty hands on my boxer shorts, I attach the bow and arrow securely to my suspenders. Looking out to the crowd, I see her there, smiling down at her watch, with a devious smile on her face. She thinks she’s bested me, but she’s got something else coming.
“Okay, lover boy, remember, if you can’t remember the dance or the song—”
“Pelvic thrust, side, side, pelvic thrust, and lip sync it until I can’t lip sync no more.” I repeat her earli
er lesson.
“Look at that; my boy is all grown up. Easiest drag kid I ever taught. Now go get your fucking woman,” she says, waving goodbye.
When the lights go off, I take a centering breath and prepare myself. The song Santa Baby starts to play. At the same time, her eyes hit the stage, her confusion clearly visible.
“Crystal Sugarplum, there’s nothing I won’t do for you, including stealing Cupid’s bow and arrow,” I say descending from above, and she finally realizes it’s me.
“Are you fucking kidding me? How the fuck did he find me?” I see her mouth to her friends while stomping her feet, but I don’t miss the glint of amusement in her eyes.
When my feet land on the stage, I start the little dance I memorized and start my very own off-key rendition of Santa Baby, where I strategically change the words to all the stuff she’s had me bring her. Now for the grand finale, I fall to my knees belting out the last note.
Needing to have her in my arms, I jump off the stage and head in her direction. I lift her into my arms and take the kiss I’ve been dying for.
When we finally pull apart, both equally out of breath and needing more, I realize I’ve ignored the friends at her table. Ready to introduce myself, my eyes fall on my sister, who gives me a slight wave.
“Brandie! Shit, I’ve been looking for you. It’s just, I met Crystal and...”
“Nothing else mattered,” she says, finishing my sentence, and glances at the brunette dressed in full-on Christmas getup. “The same thing happened to me, so I get it.”
“Wait, how do you two know each other? I thought you played for the other team, or do you like it both ways? I don’t care either way, but I am not someone’s second choice,” Crystal says to Brandie then whispers to me, “You never did tell me why you were pounding on her door that day I met you.”
“I’ve already said you’re the only fucking woman I’ve ever noticed. That’s my sister.” Doing the same as her, I whisper back the reason why. “And you would have known that if you would have let me finish that day.”
“Well, fuck,” is her response.
“Sis, we need to talk, but I gotta take my girl out of here. Can we meet for coffee in the morning?” I ask my sister, who I can tell isn’t ready for this conversation yet. It’s better to get things straight later when we both have clearer heads. All I want is to make Crystal mine once and for all. I pick her up, carrying her out to where I can finally get her alone.
Now that I have her in my arms, I don’t plan on ever letting go. I make that clear when we step outside, and she lets me know she can walk, and I refuse to put her down. Right now, I need her more than my next breath. The cat and mouse game we’ve been playing has been fun, but now, I want her. I want all of her, preferably in a bed where I can show her just how much I need her.
“Where are we going?” she asks, finally settling in closer to me as I walk with her to my car. I don’t answer because the thoughts I’m having of her under me, how I want to wrap her around me and finally sink into her pussy, has me ready to burst. I hope I can last. Knowing that in minutes I’ll finally be with my one, my only, will take all my concentration to make it home. I want this to be special. Although I don’t expect her to have waited for me, too, I want to know I am her last. I will always cherish every moment of her.
I unlock the car, place her in it then reach over to fasten her seatbelt. Once I’m convinced she’s secured and not going anywhere, I give her a soft kiss. I run to the other side half expecting her to bolt. When I get in, I look over at her. She looks so pretty sitting there. I can’t help but feel the possessiveness start to take over.
“Are you going to answer me? Where are you taking me?” she asks. Her tongue glides across her lips, and the action has me adjusting myself and thinking of anything but how good she would look with that mouth on me as she’s kneeling in front of me.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me wreck if you keep doing that. I’m taking you to my hotel, where I’m going to finally take what belongs to me. Because once you step through that door, there’s no going back. I’m yours, and your mine. Do you understand that, baby?”
I expect her to try and get out of this, or ask me to do a million more things. I don’t expect her next action. Her hand grips my thigh dangerously close to my raging erection that wants inside that heaven between her legs, and I know my pants are about to be stained from the precum.
“My place is closer. Let’s go there. I’m aching, and I need you to take care of it.”
“Fucking shit, wrapping paper, snowstorm, badly decorated Christmas tree.”
“What are you doing? I tell you I want you to take me and take care of this,” she says pointing at her pussy. “And you start spewing weird North Pole foreplay?”
“I’m trying to not come in my pants, and you pointing at your winter wonderland is not helping.”
Chapter 5
Crystal
His words cause me to burst out laughing, but in some sick winter joke, they turn me on, too. Unable to contain myself, I want to see him crack. I move my hand right over this dick, which I can see is more than happy to see me. I lightly graze it, and the man grips the steering wheel, until his knuckles are white.
“I think you better get there quickly. I want to be on Santa’s lap. And naughty girls aren’t very patient,” I say, applying a bit of pressure to where my hand is.
“You’re going to be the death of me. I already know it. Santa died days before Christmas ‘cause he joined the dark side.”
“Hmm, I like that. It would be my fantasy to corrupt old St. Nick—well the hot young version.”
“Shit, woman, that mouth of yours is going to get us both on the bad list for eternity,” he says, pulling out of the parking spot and mumbling words under his breath I know is him trying to keep himself under control. If it were anyone else, it would look as if the man was praying for his life. He’s so laser focused on the road, it almost makes me feel bad for torturing him. I can see my hand on his thigh is driving him insane. The evidence is in the sweat running down his forehead and the tic in his jaw. Seeing him this affected by me does something to my need for him. I want to make him this needy always. I’ve never had this urge, and I’ve certainly never been this bold.
Too distracted by him, I don’t realize we’ve arrived until he opens his door and runs over to my side. He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his hips. My center makes contact with his bulge, causing me to moan aloud. Needing to feel more of that, I shamelessly rock myself against him. The sensation courses through me, feeling so fucking right it has me doing it again.
“Joe, you need to get upstairs and now,” I whisper against his ear.
“What do you think I’m trying to do?” Suddenly, we’re in a sprint, and I’m sure we look like quite the pair in this position. Not opting for the elevator, Joe starts up the stairs two at a time, and now, I’m wondering if he’s some kind of undercover ninja, with the way he moves.
“You forgot to lock your car,” I warn him when I realize we just took off without securing the vehicle.
“Let them take it. I gave up a 1964 Chevy Camaro for you. That rental won’t stop me. I need to get you in that bed, because you grinding against me right now is making it hard to think. Fuck, hard to breathe.”
“Wait, a 1964 Chevy Camaro? What are you talking about?” I ask as we hit the door of my apartment.
Instead of answering, he pushes me against the frame and takes my mouth in a kiss that has me wanting to spread eagle and let him take me. Against the door, in front of everyone, while he beats on his chest and says he owns me. The way his tongue expertly intertwines with mine has me clawing at his back. If this is how he kisses, I can only imagine what other talents he has with that mouth.
Coming up for air, we stop our kiss, our chests rising and falling in sync as we struggle to catch our breath. His forehead rests on mine, and I look into his eyes.
“I gave my cousin, one of the Cupids, my collector c
ar in exchange for his bow and arrow. I still have to show it to you in action, but that was the tradeoff. Now, can we go inside, so I can keep some of my manhood intact. I think I lost most of it when you rubbed your sweet pussy against me, and I was bagging it up for you to take as a souvenir.”
Managing to nod, I hand him my keys. He unlocks the door then kicks it closed behind us. I should warn him to lock it, but we live in a pretty guarded neighborhood, and Kent is due back soon. Which means we need to get this show moving. I direct him to my room, and once there, he finally puts me on the ground. We both rush to get rid of our clothes. Modesty hits me, and I cover my parts as I turn to face him.
“What in the name of... What is that?” I point to his dick. That can’t be average. He’s going to break me in two with that thing.
“What...is it? Is it...I don’t know, not right?” he asks, and he actually blushes at my exclamation. He really hasn’t done this before.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s right alright, but it’s huge. Is there like a, I don’t know, a button to make it shrink a bit? I’ve never... Well, you know. How is this gonna work?”
When my words hits him, a smile overtakes his face, and he steps forward, closing the space between us. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“If by, you have a huge dick, and neither of us knows what we are doing, and don’t want to end up on an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER: Florida edition, When Santa Attacked, then yes that is what I am saying!”
“No, what I’m asking is if you’ve never had a man, Crystal? We’re going to be each other’s first? As in, no one has ever made you scream with pleasure?” he whispers against my ear, grabbing my hips so I’m as close as I can be, and I can feel him against my stomach. My need for this man comes back, and some of my nervousness eases down.
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I’m kind of scared though; I’m not going to lie. I get a little rude when I’m nervous.”