I weigh every word of my response, "After Dr. Thomas took over, we did not meet for six to eight weeks. Around that time, the physiotherapist informed me about the issues with his gait. The medical team again discussed the case, and we changed his physiotherapy. We met during this time. I met him to motivate him to continue with physiotherapy. Mr. Hayes was a difficult patient."
"Will you say these meetings led you two to develop a romantic relationship? At what point did you decide that you wanted a relationship with him?" She will not give me an easy way out of this situation.
The question makes me sweat. "I am not sure I can call the meetings romantic. They helped both of us to get to know each other better. I am not sure where we are in our relationship at this moment."
"But you kissed him in full public view?" A man in his sixties, wearing a grey coat, raises the next question.
I explain to them it was a spur-of-the-moment decision because of the circumstances with Noah. I had feared there would be a fight, and it would injure someone. The committee asks no further questions. Our lawyer submits all the medical records and paperwork to the officials, including billing records and appointments for Tom and Betsy.
By the time the medical association hearing happens, the board has taken its decision and absolved me of the charges. They let me off with a warning.
But what now? There are decisions to make and risks to consider. Was the boyfriend banter his way of distracting my mind from the tension of the last few days? Are we both ready to make this long term? A relationship with Jon means being under constant public scrutiny. Our privacy at the mercy of everyone around us, which can end up exploding on our faces at some stage. Will our relationship survive the cameras and gossip columns? The prospect scares me.
Chapter 42: Sucker Punch
Jon
I open my eyes. The sun rays filter through the curtains, spreading light in my room. The last few days were difficult. Today morning holds happy promises. It is Nate's birthday. I lie in bed, savoring the moment. I smile as I ogle at the picture of our kiss on my phone. It is now my favorite. The hearing at her medical board went well. She had to do a lot of explaining, but the board cleared her. The warning she got was an acceptable trade-off.
I wanted to file a defamation case, but Sharon shot it down. I agreed with her, it would only fuel the fire. She reminded me it is best to let it go. One good outcome out of the entire drama is that our relationship is now public. Not that I am trying to hide, but being able to go out without the fear of being caught on camera makes life a wee bit easy.
My phone buzzes. I pick it up when I read Jason's name on the screen.
"Did you check the news?" Jason is panting. He must be on his morning run.
"Why, what happened?" I lift the covers to get out of bed.
"Browse the sports news and I will call you back." Jason cuts the line.
The first headline of the sports page shocks me. 'Top NFL star caught in a doping scandal.' I read the news item. The NFL has suspended me, pending further inquiry. What the hell? I have never taken drugs. I read on. The journo alleges that my surgeon, who is also my girlfriend, helped me get the dope.
The article has a picture of a nursing chart with the name of the injection circled. I panic when I review the notifications for my Twitter handle. It is on fire. Why did someone not alert me? I call Stephen. The news has him all upset and worked up.
"Where have you been, Jon? I have been calling you since evening!" He goes on about how irresponsible I am, and we should never have gone to the B & N Hospital. He questions their competency. I stop him from going any further. His words are messing up my head.
"Will you listen to me? I was busy with preps for Nate's birthday party and must have left my phone on silent mode. I don't want your opinion on my indiscretions. Make this right. Why has the NFL not contacted me?"
"Did you check your email?" Stephen directs me to confirm and then connect him on a conference call with Kevin. I scroll through my inbox till I reach the email from the NFL. Every word is like a death sentence for me. It is an order, suspending me for six games.
I am confused. The only test sample I remember giving is during my stay at the hospital. The date noted in the sample confirms my apprehension. After forwarding the directive to Kevin and Stephen, we connect on a conference call.
Kevin has got things underway. "Don't worry Jon, we will file an appeal. What I can't understand is, why Sharon would do this? She should have checked with the NFL policy before prescribing anything."
When the call ends, I slump back on my bed. What am I going to do? I pick my phone and scroll through the news articles.
My anger rises as I read one news item after another. All leading to the nursing chart. The news upsets me, my mind working overtime. How could Sharon do this? Even if it was a mistake, she is an expert. She is supposed to know this stuff.
All the worst-case scenarios zoom into my head. I am about to lose my career and she is to blame for this whole fucking mess. When the doorbell rings, I am on a boil and my head hurts. I grab my t-shirt and run down. When I open the door, Sharon hugs me. I push her away, glaring at her. This is such a wrong timing for her to be here, and the panic inside my head has shut all rational thought.
"What is the matter, Jon?" Sharon takes my hand, but I push her away.
"You are asking me what is the matter? Did you read the news? Because of you, I am under investigation for using a banned substance. You have ended my career." I try to control my voice but can't. I ball my fists tight and move away from her.
She is confused, "Jon, there must've been a mistake. Where did you read all this?"
I shove my phone to her face. She reads it for a while and then looks up at me. "This is not true, Jon."
"You are trying to tell me you don't trust your nursing chart? I thought you were an expert in your field!" I should stop and shut my mouth, but the rage and fear muddle everything up. My heart is pounding away, warning me about the wreck I am about to create in my relationship with Sharon, but I can't hold my stupid mouth. "I trusted my career in your hands. What do I get? You know what, I have had enough. You were right. We should never see each other again. My lawyers will talk to you."
Tears flow from her eyes. The sight makes me angrier. Hurt at hurting her and making her cry. I cannot take back my words. Why has fate brought her here at this moment? Perhaps, if I had time to control my emotions and get a handle on myself this wreck would not be happening. I need time. Before she says anything more, I slam the door and collapse, not able to face her.
My legs go weak and I slump down on the floor. Her muffled voice comes through the door, pleading me to open the door, but my legs are too wobbly to stand. All I can think at the moment is about the suspension. All I see is her hands colored with my suspension. Another woman has let me down. This time, messing up my career. Something I worked hard to build over the years.
Chapter 43: Rejection
Sharon
The door slams into my face. I freeze, my feet stuck on his porch. I want to break the door to get him to come out and listen. Why does he not trust me? I have done nothing wrong. I would never betray him.
My mind screams, give me a chance Jon, please give me a chance. Hear me out. But nothing comes out of my mouth. There is so much I want to say. So much I want to yell at his face, but he has shut me out of his house and his life. The words, 'I never want to see you again' keep ringing in my ears as I gather the strength to walk away.
Breathe Sharon, breathe, my mind keeps telling me. My feet tremble, all my energy has drained. You cannot let this destroy what you have built for yourself. You cannot let this love, lust, mistake or whatever it is, burn your world.
I want to punch someone in the face. Let out my rage. I cannot do anything of this sort. My training as a doctor has trained me to absorb every shit that happens around me. My mind is experienced in controlling my emotions even if my heart is twisting in turmoil. No, I won't cry. My eyes have been dry since my
father abandoned me. I rub them, smothering any drops gathering in them.
In my mental haze, I must have walked a few blocks. I don't recognize my location. It takes a few minutes to come out of my mental fog and realize I am standing in a park. I cross the street and find a bench to sit on, clutching the edge to pull myself together. My heart aches as beads of sweat trickle down my forehead. Nausea hits me.
He was my rock-solid support a few days ago, but now, in his time of need, he has pushed me away. My chest is heavy, weighed down by layers of hurt. My mind swirls at so many thoughts. I call an Uber. The next five minutes standing alone on the sidewalk till the cab arrives are the longest of my life. The whole scene is on auto replay as I sit in the back in solitude, clutching my arms around each other.
By the time I reach my apartment my eyes burn but I will not let tears roll out and douse them. I call Betsy and inform her I am taking the day off. She tries to ask me about what has got me so worked up. I don't have words to describe. I disconnect the call and scream in the solitude of my apartment.
His career is important for him and I understand why he freaked out, but it does not justify his reaction. His rejection of me, for no fault of mine, without giving me a chance to speak—the hurt is causing a storm to rage in my mind. Even in my wildest dreams, I would do nothing to harm him. I fall on my bed and cover my head with my pillow.
A loud bang on my door startles me. It is persistent. My mind is foggy. It must have been a while. I dozed off, drowned in my hurt and pain.
"Sharon? Open the door!" Betsy shouts at the top of her voice. I get out of bed and let her in. "My god Sharon, what has happened? Your eyes are all swollen and red."
I lunge forward and hug her. The ache in my chest comes back. I embrace her tighter keeping my head on her shoulder for a long time. Betsy keeps rubbing my back as we stand there. She tries to calm me down. "Honey, why don't we sit and you tell me about what has got you so upset?"
I move back to my bed. I lie down again, not having the strength to sit. She gets a glass of water for me.
"Now tell me. Who has hurt you?"
I give her my phone with the news article on Jon's suspension.
"He blames me for this. He says I did it and that he cannot trust me any longer. Jon slammed the door on my face, Betsy. I don't know how to tell him that all this bullshit is not true. How do I let him know I love him and I would never do such a thing? He doesn't want to look at my face."
Betsy puts the phone down and gathers me in her arms. "Calm down Sharon. I am sure it must be a shock to him. Once things settle, he will realize his mistake."
"No, he won't," I narrate to Betsy all that happened at Jon's house. "Betsy, I am like poison. Everything I touch dies or gets hurt. My dad was right. I am a curse on people who love me."
"Now don't you go there, Sharon. You are the most loving person in this world."
Nothing that Betsy says wipe away the hurt and the longing to get Jon to see the truth. In the last few days, I realized how much I loved him and did not care what the world thought about it. I would have even given up my career. But Jon needs to trust me. On a day I should've been happy, spending time with Jon and Nate, he took away everything from me.
My eyes land on the bundle of bubble wrap covered in a gift paper with panda faces, lying on the table. A gift from Jon. It arrived the day when I returned after meeting him at Kevin's office. The bold letters in Jon's writing stare at me. "Wring my neck"
Yes, Mr. Hayes the moment we see each other again, but will it be enough?
Chapter 44: An Earful
Jon
The day has turned into a shit show. I struggle between calls on the NFL situation and getting things ready for the birthday party. A single free minute is scary because my mind keeps going back to what happened in the morning. What got into me? The entire time, my body works on autopilot, trying to get through each minute waiting for the day to end.
Mom came in the morning after Sharon left. She handed over two boxes she found on my porch. They were from Sharon, for Nate. One was a gift, and the other was a box of his favorite cupcakes. Mom read my face. You can't hide from your mother. I deflected her questions. No use telling her—I would only get a sermon on how I ruin my relationships. "Okay don't tell me, but you need to talk to someone." With those words, she left me to dwell on my life's free-fall into darkness.
By afternoon, Kevin had filed an appeal after speaking to Dr. Richard and the team management. A statement was released. I shut off my social media notifications. At 4 p.m., I popped a pill to numb the headache. Unfortunately, there was nothing for the heartache. I spent an hour in the gym, trying to distract myself. My knuckles hurt after sparring barehanded with the punching bag till its chain broke and it collapsed. It was not enough to let out my frustration. The betrayal played continuously in my mind. There is no coming back from this. Then why does my chest weigh like a hundred-pound stone?
Shit. What have I done? There is no way I can undo this. The approaching hour fills me with dread. What will I tell Nate? He will ask about Sharon. I do not dare to tell him or anyone else, anything.
My mind is still unsettled when the evening arrives. Friends and family gather. Each one of them asks about Sharon. I pull out an excuse—a case has come up and she can't make it. When Nate insists on cutting the cake only in Sharon's presence, I lose my cool and my voice rises. My frustration and anger destroy his happiness.
"She is not coming! Do you get that?!"
He stomps off and runs to his room. I see his tears and move to go after him, but Mom holds me back. "Let me handle this. You need to cool yourself down."
To avoid all the stares, I escape to the kitchen to grab a beer and hide. I take a long sip. The bitterness does not affect the mess in my life. Any relief is short-lived.
"You two fought." I turn to find Emily glaring at me. "Out with it. What did you do this time? Mom told me about the presents she found on your porch."
There is no use hiding. Emily is close to my heart. We share everything since dad died. I narrate everything that happened in the morning to her.
"What did she say?" Emily is about to give me shit.
I don't respond, keeping my eyes on my feet avoiding her gaze.
"Jon, did you give her a chance to explain?" Emily's voice rises.
I shake my head. "I asked her to leave." Emily throws her hands up in exasperation.
"Asked her to leave or shut the door on her face?" Kevin jumps in. I had not noticed him until now.
"Since when have you been standing here?" My tone does not hide my irritation at the two of them ganging up on me. Emily, I can handle. With Kevin in the mix, I am cornered.
"Since you started the drama with Nate."
Kevin is such a bitch sometimes.
"How did you know I shut the door on her?" I counter-attack, hoping it throws off Kevin from going after me. He walks up and shows a YouTube video on his phone. I shut my eyes. Damn, not again. I am the cause of her public humiliation.
Emily goes ballistic. "What were you thinking, Jon?"
Finding no escape, I hit out at Kevin. "You went snooping around on me."
"I call it watching your back, bro." Kevin puts his hand on my shoulder.
"I don't need you to watch my back." I shrug him off. This is so lame of me. Kevin has been my rock, handling all the shit I throw out in my life. He doesn't lose a minute to remind me.
"Oh yes, you do. Remember Valerie? If it weren't for me, you would have made front pages." Kevin rubs it in.
There is no let-up from the two. Emily gives me an earful. "How could you, Jon? Sharon stands up for you, helps your son, risks her career so YOU do not end up behind bars and all you do is throw her on the road!"
Emily's words are the final straw. I snap at her and walk out to the backyard. I need some air. My lungs are bust. My behavior must have put them off as they do not follow me outside.
After a few minutes, Jason walks out with an extra beer. "I t
hought you could use this."
I snatch the can from him. He sits beside me, not saying a thing. After a few sips, I am ready to get another lashing.
"Jason, you can say whatever's on your mind."
He stays quiet, but only for a moment. "Jon, this is a colossal mistake. You can't blame Sharon. Did you consider that there may be a medical reason they gave you that injection? You should have at least given her a chance to explain."
I open my mouth to say something, but Jason stops me. "You let the ball out of sight, mate. Someone made a play. Instead of keeping your head, what did you do? You fumbled and handed them the ball. Whoever is behind this, has done a solid number on you and you played right into their hands."
My eyes burn. I keep looking straight, avoiding Jason's gaze. "Okay, so now you also blame me for the mess. You all keep forgetting that I am the victim here. I am the one facing a suspension. Whose side are you all on, anyway?"
"We are all on your side, Jon, but you threw out your biggest strength." Kevin stands behind us.
"She is not my biggest strength," My words sound hollow, even though they are loud. Maybe I am trying to convince myself of my stupidity.
"How can you forget? When your career was on the verge of shattering with a broken leg, she is the one who put the pieces together. You won't admit it, but you love her." Kevin sits beside me. Now I am sandwiched between Jason and Kevin. There is no escape.
But I am an idiot. I don't back down so easily. "When did you get a psychoanalysis degree, Kevin? Keep yourself out of my personal life."
"You forget I am a lawyer. I deal with many people. One of my skills is to read people's minds. You also forget that I am your brother. In this family, we look after each other. You don't realize it, but if you are to fight this case, you will need her. She is your doctor and an expert witness." Kevin's face is stoic, but I know he is angry on the inside. I have been at the receiving end of this gaze several times before.
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