by Kitty Jones
“I’ve never...I’ve never done it.”
“What, with a man?”
“No, I mean...no. I’ve never had sex. Ever. With anyone.”
Tabitha looks surprised for a second, but then the realization of what I just said seems to hit her, and her jaw drops.
“What do you mean, you haven’t?”
“It just never happened.”
“Bullshit,” she said. “Not getting a pair of shoes you want is something that maybe never happened, but this...are you telling me that you saved yourself for him?”
“Not exactly.”
“But no one else could ever measure up.”
“Kind of.”
“And you’ve been pining for him all of this time.”
“Pretty much.”
“Wow, that’s either super crazy or ridiculously romantic,” Tabitha says. “But you have to tell him. You know that right? You can’t just spring this on him, Mal. People don’t react kindly to being tricked, and he’s not an idiot, so he will figure it out.”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “Of course, I’ll tell him. I need to do it soon. I know that.”
But I don’t know how I’m going to bring it up with Aaron, and I have no idea how he’s going to react.
Chapter Fourteen
Aaron
The week seems to fly by in a whir of projects, texts, and phone calls. Mallory is busy with grading and parent-teacher conferences, while I’m up to my eyeballs in my new translation gig. By the time the weekend rolls around, I’m more than ready to spend an evening worshipping her body.
I invited her to the club with me on Friday night. Our plan is for her to come over for dinner, and we’ll eat and play a little bit before heading out together. She shows up right on time, and when I open the door, a grin spreads over my face.
“Hey beautiful.”
“Hello, handsome,” she says. Mallory steps into the room and spins in a circle. She looks at me expectantly, and then asks, “What do you think?”
“It’s perfect,” I say. “Wherever did you find it?”
The pink fluffy dress is absolutely adorable. It’s got frills and lace and everything a good little needs, and she’s wearing matching pink Mary Janes. I feel a little bad knowing she probably went out and spent far too much money on something like this, but there’s another part of me – a darker part – that’s pleased as punch she felt this was important enough to warrant getting dressed up for.
“Oh, it’s just something I had lying around,” she winks. “I’m glad you like it.”
I reach for her and pull her into my arms. Then I kiss her. Oh, kissing Mallory feels like coming home. It feels like perfection, like heaven. If there was any doubt in my mind that pursuing something between us would be difficult, then, well, it’s gone.
Over.
And I kiss her again.
“Such a good girl,” I murmur, and she smiles up at me. She cups my face and nods, but doesn’t say anything. She just looks at me, but she does it in a way that makes me feel like I’m fucking on fire. How does she manage that? I’ve played with plenty of partners before, but nobody ever makes me feel the way Mallory makes me feel.
She kisses me again, and I close my eyes and just let myself get lost in the moment. I run my hands up and down her sides, kissing her gently, and then I nip at her ear.
“Dinner?” I ask.
“Yes, please.”
“Let’s go.”
I lead her into the kitchen and help her get situated at the table. Then I bring over a plate of food.
“Just one plate tonight?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course,” I smile. “Daddy’s going to feed you tonight.”
I reach for her cheek and touch it softly. We haven’t discussed this aspect of play. I don’t know if anyone has ever fed her before or if it’s something she’s comfortable with, but we’re going to try it and see how it goes.
She sits primly with her hands in her lap, and when I scoop up a forkful of rice, she opens her mouth and lets me feed her. Then she closes her mouth, chews, and swallows.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Daddy. It’s very good. Thank you.”
Over and over, I feed Mallory. We’re quiet as she eats. I touch her cheeks and her thighs. Sometimes I play with her hair a little bit. Overall, it’s a very intimate and personal experience. It’s something I never would have thought about back in my vanilla days, but now?
Now I think feeding your partner is one of the most intimate things you can do. It requires a certain amount of trust you don’t necessarily need when you’re just sleeping with someone.
“You’re sweet,” I tell her. She’s quiet, and I find myself wanting to talk. It’s not to fill the silence. I’m perfectly fine with silence, but I want to tell her stories.
I want to keep her company, and I want her to feel comfortable, and I want to share my heart with her a little bit.
As Mallory eats, I find myself talking about my childhood, and my favorite memories of Matthew, and how I felt after he died.
And I find myself talking about her.
“I always felt like a creep,” I say. “Going after my best friend’s baby sister,” I shake my head. “Maybe that’s why I like ageplay so much. I always felt like you were too young for me. Even though you’re only two years younger than me, I always thought it was my responsible to keep you safe and to protect you. In reality, I know that was Matthew’s job.”
She’s quiet, but I know she’s listening as I talk.
I offer her a sip of water, and Mallory takes it, swallowing quietly. When she pulls back, I set the glass down and use a cloth napkin to dab at her face. I fucking love this. Part of me still hates how much I love it. The world tells me that the things I like are fucked up and wrong, and sometimes, it’s really hard for me not to buy into that.
But right now, when it’s just the two of us here, I feel the magic.
I feel the power.
I feel everything that I’ve been wanting to feel for so very long. I know that I wouldn’t feel this way with anyone but her.
“I know that big brothers aren’t supposed to control their little sisters,” I tell her. “And I don’t think Matthew ever wanted to control you. Sometimes he got too bossy. The two of us used to fight about that, you know?”
“I didn’t know,” she whispers.
“Oh yeah. He hated that you started to date. It was really hard on him. He may have played it cool, but you’d be amiss to think he didn’t talk to anyone who looked twice at you.”
“Maybe that’s why I didn’t date very much.”
“Maybe,” I agree. “But I think you just always had high standards for yourself. You always had incredible values.”
“I don’t know if that’s true.”
“Well, a lot of people aren’t picky about their partners. You’ve never gone for someone just because you were bored, or because you felt like you needed to, or because you felt like you couldn’t do any better.”
“Maybe that’s true,” Mallory admits. “But I also didn’t exactly get asked out a lot.”
“You weren’t ugly. You weren’t unlikable.”
“No, but I often felt like I was,” she shrugs.
I reach for her chin and tilt it up to me.
“I will never tell you how to feel,” I say. “But you have never been unlikable in any way, okay?”
“Okay,” she whispers.
I kiss her, showing her exactly how I feel about all of this, and then I pull away and just smile at her.
“What do you say we get ready for the club?”
“Okay,” she whispers.
“You stay here while I clean up, okay?”
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Pretty girl,” I smile at her. “I ate while I was feeding you.”
“You did?”
I laugh and nod. Apparently, she was so into what wa
s happening that she didn’t notice me eating while I fed her. That’s okay. I really enjoyed the experience and I hope she did, too. There’s something really intimate about feeding another person and about being fed by someone.
Who knows?
Maybe this will be the start of something really beautiful and wonderful.
As soon as the kitchen is cleaned up, Mallory comes upstairs with me. I need to get dressed. I don’t mind having her watch me, but she hasn’t seen me naked yet. Is she going to want to? Is this the situation I want her in when she sees my cock for the first time? I’m not usually a very shy person, and I’m not exactly feeling timid tonight, but I don’t want her to think I’m pushing her.
It’s time to give my little a choice.
“All right, pretty girl,” I say. “I have two things I need to do before we go out.”
“What do you need to do?”
“Jiji needs his dinner, but I also need to get changed.”
This is it.
This is her chance to back out and go feed the cat. She can play things safe if she wants to. She doesn’t have to take a risk and see me or touch me or feel like I’m forcing her into a sexual situation.
She can choose to go take care of Jiji, which is also important.
It’s the safe choice.
“Okay.”
“Which chore would you like, Mallory?”
“You mean, feeding the cat or,” she licks her lips, looking me up and down, “changing your clothes?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need help changing?”
“Maybe,” I say innocently. “I mean, I am wearing quite a bit, don’t you think?”
I wait patiently, curious to see what she’ll decide. I honestly have no idea what choice she’s going to make.
She could choose to go feed the cat. She’ll get a few minutes to herself, and Jiji will love being spoiled by sweet Mallory. I’ll change alone and by the time she’s finished with Jiji, it’ll be time for us to leave.
Or she could be brave.
She could step outside of her comfort zone, and she could undress me. Button by button, she could take off what I’m wearing, toss it aside, and then...what?
What would she do?
She could lick my chest, running her tongue over me. She could slide her hands down to my cock and grip it, stroking me softly. There are about a million different things she could do to me, and I would fucking let her.
With Mallory?
I’d let her do whatever the fuck she wanted.
But there’s no guarantee that’s what she’ll choose.
I look at her, and she hesitates. She’s wrestling with this choice. For Mallory, every choice is difficult. She’s lived a life of solitude and loneliness for so long that now, no matter what she chooses, she wrestles with the decision.
I feel bad for her.
These aren’t issues she should have to deal with on her own, yet she does.
Every single day, Mallory faces difficult choices, and every single day, she faces them as an individual instead of as part of a team.
Oh, but I could be on her team.
She’s got to want it, though.
She’s got to let me.
“Mallory?” I ask softly, bringing her back to reality. She looks up at me sharply, and then she bites her lip. Her eyes jerk to my cock and then back to my face, and then she pastes a grin on that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I’ll go feed Jiji,” she says quickly. “I’ll be right back.”
She turns, scurrying out of the room. Her pink dress bounces as she moves quickly away from me, and I hear her bounding down the stairs. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s taking those steps two at a time.
“Be careful!” I call out, but I’m not sure she heard me.
Chapter Fifteen
Mallory
“I pussied out,” I groan to Jiji, petting him as he dives into his food. This cat seriously acts like he’s starving. I didn’t even wait for Aaron to give me directions to Jiji’s food dish or food supply. I just started looking, and sure enough, I found it easily. Luckily for me, Aaron is super organized with this stuff, and he keeps everything easily accessible.
Now I look at the little cat, and I wonder why he’s so brave, but I’m not.
I’m really, seriously not.
Fuck.
I had the perfect chance to touch him, to play with him. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I had started undressing Aaron, I would have poured the truth out to him. I would have told him that I’m inexperienced as fuck, that I’m scared, and that I want him to be my first.
Shit.
I really, really want him to be my first.
The problem is that I’ve waited just a little bit too long, and now it’s weird. I know that no matter what happens and no matter how old I am when I first have sex, it’s going to be awkward. At 16 or 46, sex is weird when you’ve never done it before, but...
I don’t want it to be.
And I do want it to be with him.
I sit with Jiji on the kitchen floor. I cross my legs and run my hands over my pink skirt. It’s a little over the top, I know, but he likes it. I could tell as soon as I saw him that he really loved the dress, and that makes me so damn happy.
“Hello, princess.”
I don’t look up right away. Instead, I remind myself to not be weird, and to be normal, just this once, and then I finally look up at him.
And oh, he’s smiling for me.
“You look handsome,” I tell Aaron honestly.
“Thank you.”
He looks to Jiji and shakes his head.
“Such a silly cat,” he says. “For real, you’d think Jiji was always starving.”
“He definitely acts like you don’t feed him,” I tell Aaron.
“That’s just what cats are like. Do you have a pet?”
“Nope.”
“Have you ever had a pet?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Growing up, Matthew was allergic to just about everything. After he passed away and I moved out, well...I don’t know. I just never really thought about getting one. You?”
“I’ve always had cats,” he says, smiling. “When I lived with Matthew, I didn’t. I actually didn’t even know he was allergic until we’d been living together for awhile. We lived in a place where we couldn’t have pets, so it was a non-issue. After I moved away, I adopted an older cat from a shelter. He passed away a year or so ago. I’d planned on adopting another big cat, but then I met Jiji, and well, I mean, just look at him.”
Aaron laughs, and sure enough, when I turn back to Jiji, he’s no longer eating. Now he’s playing with Aaron’s boot laces, and I gingerly pick up the little kitten and give him a soft hug. He swings his paws at me wildly, and I set him back down.
“Are you ready to go to the club?” He asks.
“I think so.”
Aaron helps me to my feet and he kisses me.
“You really do look beautiful,” he says. “I like your hair like this.”
It’s in twin pigtails, and I curled my hair before I came out. I’m really glad that he likes the look on me. He tugs on one of them and I get this goofy grin on my face.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
“Anytime, princess.”
“Ready?” I ask.
“You sound a little nervous.”
“Well, it is my first time going to the club in a dress,” I look down at my frilly clothes.
“Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” I ask. “No one there is going to judge me and no one there is going to be rude to me.”
I usually wear sexier clothing: fishnets, corsets, leather. Tonight isn’t really about me, though. Tonight is about Aaron, and it’s about whatever this thing blooming between us is.
So I’m more than happy to let this relationshipblossom, and if that means dressing up like a little princess tonight at the club, then that’s okay with
me.
“Let me see,” he says. He gestures, letting me know he wants me to spin in a circle, and I do as he asks.
Somehow, spinning around and waiting for his approval really does make me feel like his little princess.
“Pretty dress,” he says. “Pretty hair. Pretty shoes. There’s just one thing I need to know.”
“What’s that?”
“What kind of pretty panties are you wearing?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
I blush.
This is the part of having a Dom that’s embarrassing and hard and wonderful.
This is the part of the relationship that makes me nervous, but also excited.
He wants to know what I’m wearing under my dress, and I have to decide whether I’m going to play coy and tease my Dom or if I’m going to be blunt and tell him.
Or I could be sexy as hell and just lift my dress to show him.
But something is still holding me back.
I’m finding that I can’t just give everything up to him, and I’m not sure why exactly I’m struggling with this so very much. There’s something about Aaron that I really like, but there’s also something that really scares me. I can’t quite bring myself to just flash him what I’ve got on underneath, so I finally take a deep breath and just smile.
“They’re pink,” I say.
“Thong?”
“Nope,” I shake my head, feeling my hair bounce.
“Are they lacey?”
“Yes,” I say.
“I’d like to see,” he tells me.
“Um, okay,” I say, reaching for the hem of my dress, but Aaron grabs my wrist, stopping me.
“No, I’d like to see them here, in my hands.”
“What are you saying?” I squeak out.
“Panties off, little princess,” he says.
And so it begins.
Carefully, so as to not show off too much, I reach under my dress and pull off my panties. I step out of them and wad them up into a little ball, and then I place them carefully in his hand. Aaron looks at my panties and then at me.
“Pretty,” he says, and then he sets the panties on a side table. “Shall we go?” He reaches for my hand, and silently, I follow him out of the house and to the car. He opens the door, helps me into my seat, and then puts my seatbelt on for me. “Are you comfortable?”