by Lillie Jayne
“Finn…fucking hell.” I groan, grasping his hair as my eyelids drop closed, trying not to embarrass myself by coming too soon. He cups and massages my balls with his free hand as he licks the shaft from base to tip, twirling his tongue around the sensitive crown.
A deep growl bursts from my chest. “Oh God, Sunshine, that feels incredible.”
He sucks me down again as far as he can go, flattening his tongue against the underside of my shaft, using his hand around the base to compensate for what his mouth can’t cover. I throw my head back and curse as Finn’s hot mouth takes me to Heaven.
My legs shake as I draw nearer to the edge, my chest heaving, gripping his hair as I thrust my hips, fucking his mouth with urgency. Finn moans, sending vibrations through my entire core.
Feeling the familiar tingle in my balls, I drag Finn up my body, claiming his mouth with mine before I can come. He wraps his fingers firmly around both of our cocks, stroking us in a steady pace towards the finish line. I clamp my large palm around his hand, increasing the pressure until I’m past the point of no return.
“Finn, I’m…” I growl, as I arch forward and shoot jets of white fluid all over our hands. That’s enough to send Finn over too, as a hoarse shout tears from his chest, his essence mixing with mine.
He cradles my head and kisses me with tender lips as we stand gasping for breath, both shaking from our intense orgasms—our first with each other. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight, nuzzling into his cheek. He throws his arms around my neck and sighs.
“You okay?” I whisper, wary in case I’ve pushed him too far, too soon. He pulls back and smiles, a goofy grin on his sated face.
“I’m more than fine, T. I’m bloody fantastic. That was…” He trails off, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. Proud that it’s me who put that sexy, beautiful smile back on his face.
“Mhmm, I agree.”
I feel weightless and unbalanced, and a little discombobulated; like when you get off an extreme ride at the fairground and you need to wait a few moments for your equilibrium to reset, but in a good way. I’m like a giddy schoolboy and it’s addictive.
We kiss again before grabbing the body wash and washing each other all over with gentle hands, like lovers. It’s damn intimate and something I’ve never done with anyone else. I doubt Finn has, either, and I hope we’ll have many firsts like this.
FINN
Jesus…fucking…Christ. Did I dream that? Did I dream one of my fantasies had come true? I’m in the shower with Theo.
I feel like I’m still dreaming and waiting to wake up; to fall back to earth with a resounding thud. This just doesn’t happen in real-life. Dreams like this don’t come true, yet here I am, a testament to the irony of that statement.
I’m washing Theo in the shower after the most mind-blowing sexual experience of my entire life so far. The problem with feeling like you just won the lottery is the feeling that you could lose it any second, and I’m not this lucky.
I place a gentle kiss on the tattoo over Theo’s chest, the infinity symbol with my initial inside, then I rub the matching one over my heart with his initial inside. It’s like we’re complete at last; like we’ve connected on a deeper level. It feels right, just as it should be, but that scares me more than it thrills me. He now has control over my entire heart and soul, which makes me vulnerable.
It could all end tomorrow. He could wake up and realise he’d made a huge bloody mistake. I won’t recover from that kind of heartbreak. I know I won’t. I’m so deeply in love with this stunning man, I only exist when I’m with him. I’m consumed by him, with a burning intensity that I don’t know how to control.
It’s scary as fuck.
I can’t breathe without Theo, and now that he’s smashed through all my defences like a wrecking ball, I’ll never breathe on my own again. This is another reason I left. To gain some distance and independence. But that was before I realised he wanted me. That one small detail now changes everything.
Theo grabs my chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head up to look in his crystal blue eyes. Anxiety clogs my throat like a dam ready to burst.
“You’re thinking too hard, Finn. I can sense it. Just let this be what it is and let us enjoy the feeling. We’ve waited so long already.”
Theo looks so sincere and I know he means every word. He knows how I worry and stress about matters out of my control and this has me free-falling without a parachute.
I drag my teeth over my lower lip, pulling a low rumble from Theo’s throat. I feel a twitch in my groin and notice that Theo is semi-erect already. He’s always had an insatiable appetite for sex, but I never considered his appetite would stretch to me.
Fuck, what if I’m not enough for him?
“Okay, that’s it,” Theo declares as he slaps my wet arse cheek. I yelp in shock, laughing along with him. At least he jarred me out of my funk. “We are going out. I promised you a surprise, which is…” He mimics a drumroll. “I’m taking you on a date. A dinner-date.” He smirks, proud he’s got one over on me.
My eyes widen as my mouth drops open in surprise. “Oh, no. No, we are not. You know I hate eating at pretentious restaurants, Doc. And anyway, Theodore Worthington III takes no one on a date.” I throw him a smug grin as I turn off the water and grab us some towels, thinking I’ve won this round.
“Oh, yes we are, Finn. I know, better than anyone else, that you hate dining at uptight, pretentious eateries, which is why I am taking you somewhere local and low-key. Something you’ll enjoy immensely. And, yes, Theo Worthington III dates now. He dates the insanely sexy Finn Tyler.”
I follow him into his bedroom, both of us wearing only our towels, as he rummages in his drawers for some clean underpants.
“Please, Theo, can we not just stay in? We could grab a pizza and watch some Netflix, or listen to music…” I suggest in hope. I watch him drop his towel and slip into some black boxers, drooling over that magnificent smooth, round arse.
That arse. It’s so smooth it looks like he polishes it. I just want to rub my hands all over…
I’m aware of fingers clicking in my periphery, realising I’ve just zoned out thinking of what I want to do to Theo’s arse.
Great, I’m bloody aroused again.
“Are you quite finished checking out my arse?” he taunts with a huge smirk on his face.
Damn, he’s gorgeous.
My face flushes at being caught ogling him, and then I don’t care anymore. I’ve sneaked so many surreptitious glances at him when he wasn’t looking, and now I’m allowed; at least I assume I am.
“Do you like me checking out your arse?”
He moves over to stand in front of me in just his boxers and places his hands on my hips. He looks different. I notice the new sparkle in his piercing blue eyes, the crinkles at the corners when he smiles, and most of all, I notice how relaxed he appears. Like this has lifted a weight off his shoulders.
“Hell, yes. I do. I didn’t realise just how much. You make me feel alive…sexy, desired, wanted.”
He drops his eyes and shakes his head, as if he doesn’t believe those things about himself. Theo was always the confident one who never second-guessed himself. This is new territory for both of us.
I place my palms on his chest, one over the tattoo, and lock eyes with him. “You are all those things, Theo, and you deserve to be. How can you not feel that after you had all those women hooking up with you, not to mention the men who wished they were?”
He shakes his head again, smiles a devilish grin and whips my towel off, flicking my hip with the end.
“Come on, let’s go get ready. Smart-casual only, it’s nothing fancy. Our reservation is in an hour,” he demands, as I stand there with my hands on my hips, a look of indignation at him flicking me with the towel.
He knows I hate that. It always starts a wrestling match.
“Oh, bring it on, Doc. Later, when we get home, I’ll take you down for that.”
“
You can take me down anytime, baby, as long as you wear what you’re wearing now.” He winks, flicking an eyebrow up.
I glance down, only to remember I’m still naked.
“Oopsie…guess I’d better put some clothes on, then.” I wink as I swagger out of Theo’s room and into my own.
Let the games begin.
Chapter 25
THEO
“Hurry the fuck up, Finn. I’m starving, and we’ll be late,” I yell, as he hunts in the wardrobe for his shoes.
I’ve worn my dress shoes because the evening is special to me, and Finn wants to wear his. His scuffed biker boots won’t do, according to him.
It’s been a week since he came home, and we’ve been out every night since, dating. This is a momentous occasion; me dating for starters, but dating Finn? It’s nerve-wracking, to say the least.
“Found them,” he calls back as he slips on his black, polished shoes. He’s barely finished tying his laces when I take him gently by the wrists and pull him to the door, grinning like an idiot.
“Manhandling me now, Theo? I think I enjoy this rough, dominant side of you. Keep it up,” he teases as he grabs the lapels of my dark grey blazer and ghosts his lips over mine.
We should have stayed in, where I can ravish him.
“Oh, it’s permanently up around you, Sunshine.”
I’m still holding his wrists, rubbing them in small circles with my thumbs. The touch of his skin and his body heat, as well the smell of his Dior aftershave, are making me dizzy with desire.
He grins and looks to where I hold his wrists, then back up into my eyes. Flecks of gold shimmer in his deep blue irises like the midday sun on the surface of a lake. Those wavy curls sprawl in a neat tumble, over to the side. He’s trimmed his beard to only a scant amount of stubble, and I imagine the tickle on my thighs.
Down, Theo. There’s a good boy.
I press a chaste kiss to his moist lips, watching closely as he licks them afterward.
Jesus, he’s killing me.
“So, where are we going this time?” Finn quizzes, as we leave the flat and make our way down to the car. His eyes flick over my body, and I lick my lips to make sure I’m not drooling.
He’s wearing navy jeans which hug every curve of his thigh muscles and his tight arse, along with a white, long-sleeved t-shirt, and a navy blazer to complete the ensemble. I follow closely, so I can watch the sway of his behind and imagine very naughty things.
“Theo, head out of the gutter.” He smirks, trying to change the tone of the conversation. I flit my gaze up to his and try to look innocent. Finn chuckles, knowing without a doubt where my head was.
“I thought we could try that new Italian restaurant that opened last week. Romano’s, it’s called. It’s got great reviews,” I tell him as I free my mind of illicit thoughts.
Climbing in the car, we secure our seatbelts, and I start the engine. I peer at Finn spread out in the passenger seat and imagine tearing those clothes off his body right here, dragging him onto my lap…
My temperature spikes. I’m close to combusting.
Fucking hell.
I clear my throat and try to find my voice. Finn’s lips twitch. The gorgeous fucker knows I’m checking him out again.
“Okay, sounds good. Italian is my favourite.” He smiles then and winks, just a small one, but it strokes my groin. He clicks on the radio and sings along as we leave the car park.
* * *
Romano’s turns out to be a stunning little family-owned restaurant with a very authentic atmosphere. It seems worlds away from the busy high street outside the door. We’re tucked into a small curved booth near the back of the room where it’s the quietest.
Paintings of scenes depicting historical landmarks in Italy adorn the walls. It has a rustic flavour. Fake grapevines scale the columns and empty wine bottles with candles are lit on each table. It’s nothing fancy, but I love it.
Finn is a sucker for this kind of thing. He’s the true romantic between the two of us, being a songwriter. I’m always the pragmatic one, but it seems I can still surprise him.
“Candles? You planning on seducing me tonight, Doc?” He grins. “Well, consider me seduced. It’s perfect.”
I stare at Finn, wide-eyed, swallowing the lump in my throat. He’s stunned me into silence, which isn’t an easy thing to do.
“Let’s order,” I squeak and fidget in my chair.
A short, portly gentleman comes over to our table to take our orders. He’s bald on top, with thinning dark hair at the side, as well as a bushy moustache, which bobs up and down when he speaks.
“Ah, good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to Romano’s. Is this your first visit?” he asks Finn and me jovially.
We both nod.
“Good. My name is Giuseppe, and I am the owner and manager. If you have any problems today, just ask for me. I go by Sepp.” He has a strong Italian accent, but his English is perfect. “Now, what can I get for you lovebirds tonight?”
Lovebirds. I like that.
Finn orders the seafood linguine, and I order the lasagna. It’s my favourite dish. Sepp takes our order and returns with a small bowl of olive oil with a splash of balsamic vinegar in it and fresh-cut ciabatta. We dip our bread in the delicious concoction while we wait for our food.
“Finn, there are a few things we need to talk about, which we can’t do at home because of certain distractions.”
We’ve spent the whole week making out at every given opportunity. I’ve let Finn lead every time, letting him touch me, or touch us together. But I haven’t touched him yet, even though I desperately want to. I need him to tell me when he’s ready.
We’ve also spent every night wrapped in each other’s arms.
He stops eating and flicks his gaze up to me. A loose curl has fallen forward, above his left eye, and I resist the urge to brush it back.
“Theo, just spit it out. Whatever it is,” he says, blunt and to the point.
Sitting up, his posture rigid, he looks like he’ll throw up any second. With a stern face, he runs his hands through his hair, tousling it. It’s still damn perfect.
“Look, I get it, okay? You’ve changed your mind now you’ve had a little fun with me.”
My lungs cease to breathe.
My heart is thumping out of my chest, my palms are sweating, and I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. He’s stunned me again. I don’t have a clue where this self-doubt has come from suddenly.
“What the fuck, Finn? Of course I haven’t changed my mind. Why would you even think such a thing?”
“Come on, Theo, get real. We both know you’re straight. You wanted to experiment a little and your feelings for me got confused. It had to happen. I knew that. You’ve never been one to settle, or even go back for seconds, so why—”
Sepp chooses that moment to place our steaming plates of food in front of us. The smell is divine, and my stomach gives and appreciative grumble. I’m still hungry, at least. Whether I can eat now is another matter altogether.
“Okay, boys, enjoy your meal, and please call me if you need anything else. I will be in the kitchen,” he croons, smiling with genuine warmth.
“Will do, Sepp, thank you. It smells delicious,” I tell him. He looks happy as he leaves us.
I turn back to Finn to see him pushing his food away, his chest heaving. Now, he looks close to passing out.
“Finn,” I whisper, pleading with my eyes for him not to do this. I reach over the table and squeeze his hand. I can sense him closing up and pushing me away again.
“Please don’t think like that. That’s not what I intended to say, at all. Quite the opposite, actually.” The unshed tears in his eyes floor me, and I want to throw up. I don’t touch my food, no matter how delicious it smells.
He waits for me to continue, jaw clenched as he tempers his emotions. I take his other hand in mine and forge ahead before I lose him again.
“What I was so badly trying to say was…I want more, Finn.”
His relief is unmistakable.
“More? In what way? I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready to go all the way yet, Theo. Since the attack…” He trails off, and I realise he still has the wrong idea. Jesus, I’m shit at this.
Come on, Theo. Spit it out. Tell him you’re in love with him.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant either. Fuck, I’m sorry, Finn, I’m making a shit job of explaining myself. Okay, what I wanted to ask you was if we could be more…more like boyfriends?” I blush as I look at him. His eyes are shining in the flickering candlelight. He’s never looked more beautiful.
God, I love this man with every part of me.
Finn squeezes my hands and lets out another audible breath as a grin stretches across his entire face, blinding me.
“Jesus, Theo, you scared the hell out of me there. I thought…well, anyway, I thought wrong. Very wrong. You want to be boyfriends? Really?”
His last question is uttered so quietly, I almost don’t hear it. His hands are shaking on mine.
“Fuck yes. I want to be your boyfriend, Finn, and I want you to be mine. I don’t care how long we wait for everything else to follow, and maybe you’ll never be ready, but I don’t care, as long as you’re mine. We already agreed to be all in, labelling it would be the next step, and I want that.”
Nervous tension has me sweating, so I remove my jacket and put it on the seat beside me. I turn back to Finn, who’s wiping his eyes with his napkin, while I wipe my damp palms on my jeans and place them back on the table in front of me.
Finn grabs both my hands, linking our fingers together for the entire world to see, and I don’t give a fuck.
“I know I’m being overly emotional and acting like a drama queen who jumps to conclusions, so for that I apologise. As for the boyfriend question…” Finn pauses and drops his gaze to the table, untangling our fingers. “…I can’t.”
Then he stands up and walks out of the restaurant.
* * *
Reaching our flat, we walk in and shut the door, removing our clothes until we were both standing in our underwear. Sepp boxed up our meals for us, and I apologised for not eating, giving him the excuse of receiving bad news. We can reheat our food tomorrow.