by Jessa James
As her body stilled and the tears subsided, he realized that at some point, he’d pulled her completely onto his lap. Her delectable ass was now squarely on his cock. Her tits were pressed firmly to his, her strawberry scent infiltrating his nostrils. He felt his heart speed up just as he noticed her breathing becoming more rapid.
A fact which had not gone unnoticed by his traitorous cock. It was now starting to make his feelings on the matter quite clear.
Not now, he ordered it, to absolutely no avail.
She peeked up at him, finally pulling her face from the crook of his neck. He saw the same heat radiating in her eyes that must be present in his own. She moved one leg slightly, causing him to groan as it brushed against him.
Her full lips parted as her eyes drank in his expression. The air around them felt like it was sparking from the tension between them. It made the hairs on the back of his neck rise.
Focus, Roman! he snapped at himself. His earlier frustration at his inability to remain unaffected by her crashed over him.
“You want to go for a ride?” he asked. Then he realized how that must’ve sounded as she cocked an eyebrow at him, a small smile on playing on her lips.
“On a horse. Would you like to go for a horseback ride?” he immediately clarified.
Real smooth, Roman.
Damn. Where the hell was his game? Not that he intended on using it on her. Still, it would be nice to know it hadn’t run off and died in a corner somewhere.
An unnamed emotion flickered in her eyes before she quickly scampered off his lap. She scooted over to the other side of the bed.
Well done, genius. Now you’ve scared her.
“Uh, okay,” she said softly, not meeting his eyes. “I’ve never done it before, though. So it might be slow going.”
She shot him a small smile, only meeting his eyes for a moment. He wondered if she realized that her words were as much of a cocktease as anything. She hopped off the bed and headed to the walk-in closet.
9
When she paused and looked over her shoulder at him, he repressed a groan. He'd had better luck handling her when she was crying.
“What should I wear?” she asked.
“Just, uh. Jeans and sneakers for today. We’ll go get you proper riding boots and gear another time,” he answered.
He waited for her to get ready and then led her to the barn, grinning as she cooed over the horses. He gave her some sugar cubes to feed them. Some of the childlike wonder returned to her eyes. Her demeanor slowly became more like he’d become used to of late.
He chose an older chestnut mare named Aislyn for Ashleigh. The mare had been in the family for years, and he knew she would take care of Ashleigh. The mare hardly ever started at anything, and even Shiloh rode her by himself.
His heartstrings tugged as he thought about his little nephew. He hadn’t been spending much time with him since he’d gotten home from New Orleans with Ashleigh.
Walker saddled the chestnut for her and quickly saddled Noir for himself. He loved the midnight black horse that he’d raised from a colt. It had been too long since he’d last taken him out.
Ashleigh brightened up considerably as they rode out toward Catahoula Creek. She was all smiles by the time they arrived. She’d been a bit wobbly in the saddle at first, but he showed her the proper way to sit. Once she mastered how to hold the reins while still holding onto the horn of the saddle, she’d gotten the hang of it relatively easily. Still, he didn’t want to push his luck, so he kept a slow pace.
It was late afternoon as they dismounted their horses to walk along the creek. Walker tied the reins carefully to a nearby post. He fed them each a sugar cube before he joined her. She was standing at the bank of the creek.
She was still smiling as her eyes swept the countryside.
For Walker’s part, the countryside may as well not have been there. He’d never seen her smile quite so brightly, so completely unguarded, as she did now. It was radiant. He felt a bit like Icarus being drawn to the sun. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. The wind blew through her hair, giving her a carefree, happy look.
He couldn’t get enough of it, enough of her. She’d been sexy as sin when he’d first seen her in that club. And she was nothing short of beautiful with the heavy makeup gone, as she’d been since they left the club. The way she looked right now though... it was easily the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
She turned to face him and flushed when she caught him staring.
“It’s gorgeous here. Thank you for showing this to me,” she said earnestly.
“Yeah, yeah it is.”
His mouth felt dry as his eyes met hers. In that moment, he had no idea what she was talking about. Still, he was sure that what he was looking at had to be more gorgeous than what she was referring to.
She took a step closer to him, peering up through those emerald pools. Her breath caught as she drank his expression in. It was that small sound that snapped the last vestige of self-control that he’d been holding onto.
Without hesitating for one second, he pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips against hers. She leaned into the kiss, opening her mouth almost instantaneously. She threw her arms around his neck. He groaned as her soft body pressed against him in a way that had him hard as a rock in zero seconds flat. He kept one arm around her waist and tunneled through her hair with his free hand. He gently gripped the hair at the nape of her neck.
All thoughts flew from his mind as he gave himself over to this explosive kiss. Dancing his tongue alongside hers, he alternated between lightly prodding her tongue with his and hungrily tasting her lips. The kiss consumed him, made his fingers dig into her hip as he nipped lightly at her lower lip before claiming her mouth with his again. She let out a soft moan and pressed her body closer to his.
Somewhere in his hazy, lust-drunk mind, he realized that he should absolutely not be doing this. Fuck.
His back stiffened, and his hands stilled. Much as he hated it, he broke their kiss off as abruptly as he’d initiated it.
Shit. What have I done?
There were way too many reasons not to do this. He wouldn’t lead her on, not when he still had so much baggage. Not when the reason she was here was because he didn’t want a god damn relationship.
He'd promised himself that he would never do that much damage again. And he’d promised to protect her, keep her safe.
Not from myself, apparently.
“I’m sorry, Ashleigh. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. It will never happen again, please forgive me?” he whispered softly against her lips.
He implored her with his eyes to forgive him, not to walk away because of one stupid mistake.
She nodded, looking completely stunned. She followed him back to the horses.
“Thank you for forgiving me,” he said, his voice low as he helped her mount her horse.
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Though...”
She trailed off. She snapped her mouth shut and shook her head.
He grimaced and spurred his horse toward home.
Neither of them said another word to each other as they awkwardly rode off, literally into the sunset... but this was not a fairy tale.
10
Walker’s lips closed around her nipple, and her back arched into him. One big hand steadied her against the bed. Another stroked her inner thigh, making her ache for his touche.
She moaned, bucking her hips against his. She was desperate to feel any kind of friction to relieve the pressure building inside her. He gave her a sexy smile and shook his head at her.
"Not yet, Doll…”
Her eyes snapped open at an unfamiliar sound. It took a second for her to realize where she was.
She moaned in frustration as she realized it had only been a dream. She glanced over to his side of the bed, praying that she hadn’t made a sound in her sleep. God, she would be mortified.
Thankfully, it seemed he was long gone from the bed. Whatever sou
nd had woken her up hadn’t been made by him. The bathroom and walk-in seemed empty too, so it was a safe bet that she hadn’t been caught in her naughty dream.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she sank back against the bed, cursory examination of the room complete.
She groaned from embarrassment as she replayed her dream in her mind. It was quite clear that he didn’t want her, regardless of how charged that kiss at the creek had been yesterday. For her, anyway. He’d broken it off just as quickly as it had started, then mumbled a nonsensical apology and asked her to forgive him.
What was that all about?
She’d been too lightheaded from the kiss to question it though, and had merely nodded stupidly. She was trying to get the world to right itself. She needed to collect her thoughts from the four corners of the globe they had scattered to as his lips had crashed into hers.
The man kissed with the single-minded focus she imagined he had carried out military operations with. Despite what one might think considering her past, she wasn’t very experienced sexually and that kiss had blown her mind. If that’s how he kissed, she couldn’t even begin to imagine how he fucked.
Not that she’d ever find out, but holy shit. She’d been a couple of strokes of his tongue away from spontaneous combustion.
She sighed and pressed the heel of her hand against her eyes. She loved that he didn’t just see her as an object to be fucked and discarded. But she hadn’t missed the fact that he was hot as hell, and she was only human! What if she wanted to be fucked?
She was only twenty-four, for heaven’s sake. She’d found that the more she became comfortable, the more at home she felt, the more alive she was feeling. Like the sliver of person that she’d managed to hang onto over the years was finally bursting free.
She was damaged goods, sure. She knew that.
She’d lost more of herself than she wanted to think about, but a small part of her had battened down the hatches. That part had weathered the storm and was now crawling out, slowly but surely.
Her stomach growled, alerting her to the fact that she also had other basic human needs. With a last sigh, she stuffed her frustrations into the dusty box in her head they had emerged from. She headed to the bathroom. She showered quickly, not bothering with her hair or makeup.
As she approached the living room, she heard unfamiliar voices. A man barked at someone.
“So, where is she, Walker? Or does she make it a habit to sleep the day away?”
Ashleigh was about to check the time when she heard Walker growl.
“It’s seven thirty in the morning, for God’s sake. On a Saturday.”
“I’ll make some tea, who’d like some?” a cheery female voice asked, but was met by nothing but silence. “Well then...”
A middle-aged platinum blonde spotted Ashleigh, who’d just reached the doorway to the living room.
“You must be Ashleigh,” she gushed as she pulled her into an awkward hug. “I’m Marilee. Let me see that ring, dear!” She didn’t wait for an answer as she lifted Ashleigh’s hand for a closer inspection. “Oh, it suits you so well. Don’t you think, pumpkin?”
She turned to an older version of the Roman brothers. His hair was silver and his face was more weathered, but there was no denying that the man was handsome. Same hazel eyes, tall stature, still muscled. He was definitely The Colonel.
She hadn’t heard any of them say a single good thing about him. In fact, they actually hadn’t spoken too much about him at all.
She’d known she was going to have to face him at some point. She’d just hoped it would be in the distant future when she’d had time to mentally prepare herself for it. No such luck.
“So, you’re Ashleigh then?” It was more of a statement than a question, really. “My future daughter-in-law, if my sons are to be believed.”
He stated everything plainly as his eyes swept over her. It didn’t feel like he was checking her out, more like he was assessing her and finding her wanting.
“We have to go,” he announced as he started to turn toward the door. He nodded at Ashleigh and Walker in turn, fixing Walker with a strange look before adding, “We’ll talk more about this later.”
Without another word, he was out the door, striding toward a gleaming red Mustang.
“Oh dear, I was hoping we could talk while we were here, Ashleigh. How about you join us at church and a luncheon in the week? Just the Roman girls and a few others. We’ll get to know each other.” Marilee stared at Ashleigh expectantly.
Out of the corner of her eye Ashleigh noticed Walker frown at the invitation, but what the hell could she say? ‘Oh, no. Sorry dear, my fake fiancé hates you from the looks of things. I don’t want to upset the balance of our non-relationship.’
She bit her lip to keep from rolling her eyes and nodded hesitantly.
“Sure, just let Walker know the details.”
“Lovely!” she declared. “I will see you then. Wonderful to see you as always, Walker.”
She nodded to him and then teetered out on her impractical platform heels to where The Colonel was impatiently waiting. Ashleigh was a strip club waitress, so she was quite familiar with what was and wasn’t practical when it came to heels.
Walker’s jaw was tight, his lips pressed into a line as he sank onto the couch when they were gone. He regarded Ashleigh through narrowed eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered.
He pulled a face, but said nothing.
“Look, I know you don’t want anyone to know my real history,” she continued once her voice felt steady enough.
His eyes had narrowed even more, his mood darker than it had been. But before he could say anything, she pressed on. She needed to get this out.
“What should I say? You can tell me, maybe give me some specific details. I’ll say whatever you want. I swear, I’ll stick to whatever you want me to say!” She was practically begging now, feeling a lot more like Doll than like Ashleigh.
Something that she said turned his mood darker still, until he seemed like an untouchable sculpted statue. He contemplated her words. He moved off the couch in precise movements and reached for his keys.
“Say whatever you want to say, Ashleigh,” he seethed.
He stalked out, the door slamming behind him. There was a screech of his tires, and then he was gone. She had no idea where to, or when he would be back.
Periodically throughout the day, panic gripped her as she wondered if he’d gone to the Russians to arrange her return. Or gone to New Orleans to negotiate for her job back with Igor. He'd acknowledge that he’d made a mistake taking her away from there, and that she didn’t belong here with him.
Each time, she forced herself to calm down. She convinced herself that he wouldn’t do that. She remembered his promises of safety.
Every so often she considered running. Packing her things and finding a bus to take her far, far away. She could reinvent herself and hide for the rest of her life, but she didn’t have the money to do that.
She might be many things, but she’d never steal from him.
She wandered aimlessly through the big house, willing herself to calm down. After all, there was nothing she could do now but wait.
It took every ounce of willpower not to break down. She could run to Rose in the bunkhouse, or Remy who was sure to be in the main house, busy with the dude ranch. She could tell either or both of them everything. Beg them to let her stay if Walker had changed his mind.
She’d become friendly with both women. It was miles away from actually being friends, given the magnitude of the secrets she was hiding from them. Still, she felt closer to them than she had felt to any women in a long time. They were the closest thing she’d ever had to friends.
The women that she’d worked with had been kind to her at times. But Igor had always forced people to keep their distance from her. He’d ensured that she could never let anyone get close enough to tell them about her situation, or about the people she belonged to.
> It was the closeness of the relationships that she’d observed -- from their interactions with Walker on occasion when they’d all been together -- that kept her from running to them. These people were a family. To them, Walker would always come first. No two-bit strip club waitress was going to break those bonds of loyalty that existed between them all.
For hours she waited for him to come home. She needed to learn her fate. But there was nothing.
Eventually, she decided to take a nap. Sleep proved to be elusive, however. Of course. She tossed and turned, but the bed felt too big without Walker in it, too cold.
She shivered as she considered the consequences of her actions.
That’s when it hit her. She had absolutely no idea what she’d done wrong. She had absolutely no idea what had provoked his strong reaction.
She’d woken up, and he’d already been gone. She’d talked to his stepmother, been practically dragged into agreeing to lunch with the woman. Surely he couldn’t be reacting like this because of that?
Was he embarrassed because she’d so obviously been measured and found wanting by his father?
That wasn’t her fault. He’d known everything there was to know about her and more before even proposing this arrangement…
She tried to replay the events of the last couple of days in her mind, searching for anything that might explain it. She came up hopelessly empty.
She must’ve missed something, but what?
She racked her brain for clues, but nope. Not a single thing. In the end, she lay back on the bed and decided that the only thing she could do was to wait.
11
Walker drove around for a while before turning onto an abandoned country road. He drove as far as it would allow him to go. He parked at the camping spot where he’d come with Sawyer a couple of years back. Sawyer and Remy had been battling their own demons, clawing like hell to find their way back to each other.
He grabbed the two beers that he’d bought on the way over. He locked his phone and wallet in the glove box, and began the short but steep hike up the canyon to Satchell Creek.