by Jessa James
“My advice, unsolicited as it might be, is to just apologize, Walker,” Sawyer offered when he finally came up for air. “Whatever it is you did, beg for forgiveness, even if you don’t know what you did that was supposedly so wrong.”
“And then buy her something. Or better yet, apologize with your co-“ Colt started.
Walker cut him off. He had no intention of letting their conversation go in that particular direction right now. Also, he really didn’t need to hear Colt talk about his sex life.
He shook his head. “It’s not that. You wouldn’t get it.”
“Try us, brother. We might surprise you yet,” Sawyer said as he dismounted Pericles once they’d reached the shade of the tree that they usually stopped under for breakfast when they came out this way. Sawyer had taken a liking to Pericles on their first ride together when he’d returned to Catahoula and always chose the same horse to ride out on.
“Yeah,” Colt echoed. “We can at least try. You’ve been there for us for some pretty hectic shit, Walker. You gave it to us straight when we needed to hear whatever needed to be said, and you helped us fight to the very end. It’s our turn now. Let us at least try.”
Walker thought about it as Sawyer passed out the containers that Remy had packed for their breakfast.
They were silent as they ate, practically inhaling the food, each brother stuck in his own memories of the times Colt had mentioned.
The haunting image of Ashleigh bleeding out in his arms flashed in his mind again and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to rid himself of the unwanted image.
When his eyes opened, both of his brothers were observing him curiously, their eyes dark with worry.
He sighed as he made up his mind. Time to buck up and face those demons, Roman.
“There’s some stuff I haven’t told you about the night Jenny died,” he started, releasing a low, pained breath. He hadn’t told anyone this story, the real, whole story about that night. He’d opened up more to Pastor Jim than to anyone else, but he hadn’t been ready to say it all out loud.
“You know that we were at Jeremy’s party, that we got into an argument when we got home and that she left, turned her truck over and bled out.” His voice was tight, foreign even to himself.
His brothers, even Colt for once in his life, kept quiet and let him tell the story at his own pace.
“What you don’t know, is that she’d been flirting with Jeremy all night. That’s what we got into it about. The things I said needed saying, but I guess she wasn’t ready to hear it. She grabbed her keys, but it was coming down something awful outside, so I tried to stop her. She yelled some stuff that hurt so bad that I just kinda shut down. Stuff about Mom and The Colonel, and… By the time I could think again her tail lights were already fading. So I let her go, since I figured she’d drive around for a while. Maybe crash at her mom’s, but a couple of hours later it started coming down even harder, so I got worried because she wasn’t back yet. I called her mom. She told me Jenny wasn’t there. So I ran out, went to find her.”
His breathing was heavy now, and the pain of what he was about to say crushed his heart like a vise grip. He’d never been one for tears and he wasn’t about to start now, but that didn’t make it any easier.
“I found her out on the old plantation road eventually. She’d been flung from the truck when she turned it over. She was bleeding so badly… I tried to stop it, called the hospital and told them to get ready for us so they’d be able to work on her as soon as we arrived.” He paused, allowing himself a few deep, calming breaths before he continued.
“Just before we got there, her last words…” His voice was strangled now. “Were that she was pregnant.”
His words hung heavy in the air. Sawyer sucked in a long breath while Colt let out a low whistle. Both looked like they’d been doused unexpectedly with ice water.
“Thing is, I’d heard the rumors by then. I didn’t know if I could trust her, so even if she was pregnant, it might not have been mine. I’d only been back about two weeks…” He trailed off. “I just don’t fucking know. I could never ask her parents, and the coroner wouldn’t tell me if she was pregnant. I would’ve loved that baby though, wanted it as soon as she said it.”
Sawyer looked like a piece of a puzzle had slid into place as he whispered, “So that’s what you meant, when we were up at Satchell Creek after I found out about Shi…”
Colt looked between the two of them, seemingly confused until the mention of Shiloh’s name.
Walker just nodded in confirmation at Sawyer.
“There are just so many questions I’ll never have an answer to, and I feel like I lost two people that day, even though no one knows.”
They were silent as they absorbed the enormity of his words.
“I’m sorry, Walker.” Colt spoke up first. “And I’m sorry for giving you shit about moving on, getting over it.”
Sawyer was silent for a minute or two longer, his eyes roaming over the countryside. “Yeah, I’m sorry too, for all of that, for everything you went through and the answers you’ll never have. What I’m about to say doesn’t negate any of that though, so just hear me out.”
He turned back to face Walker and Colt. “It’s just, not too many people get two chances at happiness, Walker.”
“What?” He felt as if Sawyer had punched him.
Sawyer frowned at the question. “I mean Ashleigh, obviously. I meant what I said earlier, you’ve been in a better mood lately than I’ve seen you since Jenny’s accident and we all know what Colt said was right, it is because of Ashleigh. She’s brought you back to life, bro.”
As Sawyer spoke the words, Walker knew them to be true. He felt like a fucking idiot, because it was true. That was exactly what Ashleigh was, what she had done. He just hadn’t realized it.
18
Ashleigh was woken up a couple of days later with Walker’s tongue flicking against her nipple. The days since their first time had been absolute bliss.
It had been a little awkward at first, when he’d come back from the day tending to the ranch with his brothers, but he’d swept her up into one of those mindblowing kisses shortly after they’d finished dinner. There had been barely a waking moment since when he wasn’t working that they weren’t kissing or touching or fucking.
Her back arched as he sucked her nipple into his mouth, tweaking the other with his hand. Her eyes fluttered open and she found him propped up on one elbow. He lifted his head from her breast and pinned his eyes to hers.
“Good morning, sunshine.” He smiled, but his gaze was intense.
That was the only word she could use to describe how he’d been with her these last few days. Intense.
Not that she was complaining. She’d certainly never felt this safe, this protected, or this coveted before in her entire life, and she loved it.
His head was resting in the open hand of the arm he was propped up on, but his free hand kept at her nipple, causing it to form a pert, sensitive bead.
He played with her nipples, just watching her reactions for several minutes before she squirmed, needing more.
“Walker, please,” she breathed.
He kissed her in response, driving her wild with his tongue, stroking and probing her mouth as his hand trailed over her stomach and cupped her sex. The slight pressure made her moan and she bucked her hips against his hand, trying to either encourage him to touch her properly or take what she needed by rubbing against his palm.
He played her body like a fiddle. He had quickly learned what she liked, what she needed and when she needed it. He used this knowledge to his advantage when he was in a teasing mood -- which he apparently was this morning.
He withdrew his hand, drawing circles over her thighs, lightly dragging his fingers over her lips but avoiding any pressure, purposefully skirting past her throbbing clit.
She could feel his cock, rock hard and twitching against her hip. She knew he wanted her just as much as she wanted him, so
she came up with a lust-driven plan that would be sure to cause him to cut out the teasing and just take her already.
“You know,” she said breathlessly. “I have that dress fitting in Baton Rouge in a couple of hours. I should really start getting ready if I’m going to be on time. Rain check?”
He growled, crushed his lips to hers and moved his strong body over hers, swiftly positioning his cock at her entrance.
Bingo! she thought triumphantly.
The man was insatiable, though so was she with him, and he got what he wanted, when he wanted it. Right now, it just so happened that what he wanted was her.
His hands wound through her hair as he slid into her slick, hot core.
She moaned as he filled her, at the sheer ecstasy of the feel of him inside her. He filled her completely, touching every inch inside of her. He withdrew slowly before thrusting home again. He kept a rhythm that had her ready to explode in minutes as she struggled to keep her eyes on his.
He’d told her at some point to look at him as she came and it just became a thing, though she failed miserably at it, but she kept trying.
His eyes were burning with lust and need, and he let out a low groan when he realized how close she was.
The sound of that carnal groan pushed her over the edge and she came apart underneath him, clenching and trembling as the fireworks exploded behind her eyelids.
She rode every wave of pleasure with wanton moans, until she felt his body start to quiver against hers as he followed her into the abyss with another sexy groan.
As had become a habit, he rolled over and pulled her into his side, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his defined chest.
They lay like that for a while, catching their breath and waiting for their limbs to recover from their jellylike state.
“You excited for the fitting?” he whispered.
“Yeah, kind of. I, uh, don’t really know what to expect, and I’m kind of nervous of running into someone who knew me at, well, you know.” A cold shiver ran up her spine as she thought of the people she might run into.
He held her tighter. “Are you sure I can’t just come with you?”
She felt the waves of frustration coming off of him, despite his recent orgasm.
“We talked about this, remember? No seeing the bride in the dress before the big day,” she admonished him.
“Baton Rouge has more than just one shop, you know. I told you, I’ll just drive you and hang out nearby, pick you up when you're done.”
They’d been going around in circles with this argument since the appointment for the fitting had been made.
Walker seemed desperate to go with her, but for some reason, she felt like she should do this by herself. Like it was some kind of rite of passage, choosing a wedding dress without your fiancé hovering nearby.
She knew she was being silly, and her heart swelled with affection for him and his fierce need to protect her, but she wanted to do this the way her gut was telling her she should.
She’d never even allowed herself to dream of a wedding in which she was a willing participant, where she would get to actually choose to say yes to the man and the dress and everything else, and it felt important to her to do this right.
So she stood her ground, and an hour later she was on her way to Baton Rouge. Alone.
Once she reached the outskirts of the city, she was cursing herself for her stupidity for coming alone, for not letting Walker come with her.
What if someone saw her? What if they took her straight back to Dimitri? What if… A million other what ifs ran through her mind.
Her hands shook with nervous energy as she eased into a parking spot outside of the bridal store. Her eyes darted up and down the street before she decided it was safe to get out. Once out of the car, she practically ran into the shop, keeping her head down.
Her eyes were wild as she stepped into the dress shop, cursing herself all along for convincing Walker not to come.
Her heart was hammering in her chest and fear was creeping into every pore. She took a deep breath and instantly felt calmer when the scent of jasmine hit her nostrils.
She forced herself to look around, to take in the beautifully appointed shop she was standing in.
Everything was white and gold, with plush carpet beneath her feet and display case after display case held the most wonderful jewelry and tiaras and fine, beaded purses.
You may be in Baton Rouge, but you’re not here for them, you’re here for him. For this.
She repeated the phrase several times in her mind, and slowly but surely felt her heartbeat return to normal.
“Excuse me, Miss. Are you Miss Walsh?” a sales consultant asked, the voice coming from behind her.
Ashleigh spun round to face a friendly, kind-faced girl who was probably no more than two or three years older than her.
Her blonde hair was pulled into a severe bun and the black dress she wore looked like it had been pressed to within an inch of its life, but the girl herself and her soft green eyes instantly made Ashleigh feel comfortable with her.
“Yes, I am. Call me Ashleigh, please.”
“Missy,” she replied as she gave Ashleigh’s hand a quick squeeze. “I’m going to help you find the perfect dress today!” She chattered excitedly as she led Ashleigh to a large dressing room with a seating area.
In the center of the room was a round platform, while a huge mirror adorned two walls within the seating area. There was a coffee machine and water cooler on a side table with beautiful crystal glasses set out, and a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket on the side.
She felt a pang in her heart as she realized that most girls probably had moms and sisters and excited bridesmaids with them for this, yet she was alone. No giggling and champagne for her.
Just then, she heard a familiar voice ring out from outside.
“Ash, are you decent? Actually, it doesn’t matter, we’re coming in!” Rose called as the door to the room swung open, and Rose and Remy burst through it with shining eyes and wide smiles.
“This is so exciting, it’s gorgeous, this shop!” Remy clapped her hands together in delight.
Ashleigh was so surprised that she was actually speechless for a moment, but then a shy smile spread on her face as she realized she wasn’t alone after all.
Walker must have told them where to find me, she thought as her heart swelled with joy and affection for Walker and the Roman girls, and the effort they had made to drive all the way to be with her.
Both Roman women settled on the couch as Missy introduced herself and repeated her statement about finding the perfect dress.
“So, what have you got for us first?” Ashleigh asked, feeling excited and a little more confident now that she wasn’t alone.
“Well, a couple of questions actually, I’m afraid. We have your size and all that from the booking form, but I need to know if you have a specific style and color in mind?” Missy sat on the armrest of one of the couches, a stylus held at the ready over a small white tablet.
“Not really,” Ashleigh admitted and felt her cheeks flush. Weren’t all wedding dresses just poofy and white? She found herself wondering as Missy seemed to conduct a quick assessment of her body.
“Well then,” Missy said cheerfully. “You’re a blank canvas. I love it! Let me go pull some dresses I think will suit your frame, and we’ll play around with what you like. Help yourself to some drinks while you wait, they’re complimentary.” She winked at them and disappeared out the door.
“So, how are things going with Walker now?” Rose asked as she fixed a coffee.
“They’re good. Really good, actually! Thanks for the idea about the fair.”
“No problem, we had fun, too.” Her eyes twinkled as she spoke, and Remy groaned.
“You and Colt really are incorrigible!”
Rose smirked and stuck her tongue out at Remy.
“Says the women with two children who were conceived before she could even get ar
ound to marrying their father,” Rose teased.
Remy flushed, but smiled, clearly more amused than offended by Rose’s comment.
“This is true. Maybe it’s not us, maybe it’s the Roman boys. What do you think, Ashleigh?”
“It’s definitely them.” She joined in their easy banter and felt herself starting to relax and actually have fun with them.
Missy returned with two assistants, their arms heaped with white material. They hung all the dresses on a rail at the far end of the room, and Missy ushered the assistants out quickly.
“Right, let’s get this party started, ladies.”
Ashleigh felt self-conscious about stripping down to her underwear in front of Missy and the girls, but the self-consciousness quickly faded as Missy laced her up in some of the most beautiful dresses she’d ever seen.
The girls oohed and aahed as she tried on dress after dress, but insisted that none of them were the perfect one.
Missy sat with the girls, carefully evaluating what Ashleigh liked and didn’t like about each one, asking for input from the girls until she snapped her fingers, and a smile spread across her lips.
“I’ve got the one, I think.” She dashed from the room and was back not a minute later with a garment bag draped in her arms.
“Close your eyes,” she ordered as she started unzipping the bag.
Remy and Rose both gasped and squealed as the dress was revealed to them.
“You’re right I think, Missy,” Remy breathed.
Ashleigh felt soft material brushing against her skin as Missy helped her into the dress. Curiosity burned inside her to see what had the girls so riled up and Missy buzzing with excitement.
The dress fit her like a glove and felt like it had been made just for her, hugging her body like it was an old friend.
If it looked half as good as it felt, this was definitely the one.
She felt Missy fasten the final button and step back as she said, “Right, you can open your eyes now.”
It took a second for her eyes to adjust to the soft light but once they did, an involuntary gasp escaped her lips as she took in her reflection in the huge mirror.