I shook my head. “I just don’t think we should do this right now…we just lost…we didn’t intend for any of this…maybe we should let it be right now.”
Damon looked alarmed, “Do you still want to be with me.”
I thought for a moment as sadness washed across Damon’s face. Before we had lost our baby, my feelings towards Damon were strong. I was happy, and for the first time, I felt as if we could be a family. I missed Ben, and I knew I could never forget my love towards him, but Ben was dead, and Damon was right besides me. If I pushed my feelings for Ben away, I could give Damon a shot. The two of us could marry just as he had wanted, and he could rule by my side as King. We could finally be a family.
“Do you still want to be with me?” Damon asked again, when I didn’t respond.
“Yes, of course I do,” I said softly.
“What about a baby?” he asked, “Will you try with me?”
I looked deep into his sapphire eyes and shook my head, “I think we should marry first.”
Suddenly Damon’s face lit up in surprise, as if my words had sparked his heart on fire.
“You want to marry me?” he asked, stunned.
I nodded my head to marriage, but I was terrified of losing another baby.
Damon kissed my lips hard with a smile upon his face. When he pulled away he said, “Will you make love with me again. I will be careful until after we marry.”
I nodded my head as I kissed him in return, but I was still terrified. Damon was careful for several years, but just a few weeks before we finally married, I became pregnant once more—with baby Luke.
As the three of sat silently, Damon interrupted my harsh memories as he said, “I never would have left you Miranda...and I’m not going to leave you now. If you love Ben...and you want Ben...I guess we can figure it out.”
I didn’t know what Damon meant and I was confused by his words, so I said, “What do you mean?”
“He can take the extra bedroom. He’ll be able to see Benny whenever he wants...and so will I.
“I’m confused,” Ben said, “How does this fix Miranda’s situation?”
Damon looked at Ben, “Ben...this situation sucks...and she’s right, I am jealous. Every time she called out your name at night...the moment she asked to bring you back to life...and when she slept with you—I have been jealous for quite some time, because I knew she always loved you. I guess I just didn’t realize she loved me all the same.” Damon looked at me and said, “If you mean what you said...you want to be with me...and Ben is okay with it too...the two of you can have a relationship. You can do what you please.”
Neither Ben nor I said a word. Finally after several moments of silence Ben said, “What about you Damon?”
“It’s up to Miranda. The two of us can stay married. I’ll remain King of Sidhe and King of Pine Lake. The two of us can rule together and raise our children together...and if she wants more than that, I will take it. Ben you can live with us, and the three of us can raise our children as a family. If Miranda chooses to be with you, I’m okay with that.”
I was growing quite confused by Damon’s suggestion so I asked, “You are saying I can be with you… both—have an intimate relationship with…you both?”
“Yes,” Damon replied.
“I don’t know if I’m okay with that,” Ben said.
“And what’s the other option?” Damon said thoughtfully, “Miranda chooses me, yet resents me because she’s still in love with you? How about the other way around? And what about Luke and Benny? Do we break them up, have a split family? It’s not like the two of you were divorced, we brought you back from the dead. The entire situation is messed up. What do you propose we do?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“I don’t know if I’m okay with it either,” I spoke up, “How am I supposed to have sex with both of you...and be okay with it.”
“Miranda, I don’t have answers. I’m just saying if this is what you want to do—I’ll be okay with it.”
“I don’t know,” I said softly.
“Me either,” Ben said.
“What do we tell the kids?” I asked.
“We’re already going to have to explain to Benny how his biological father is back from the dead,” Damon said, “and not to mention...we’re on Sidhe—nothing is ordinary here. Marriage isn’t really even a thing. Look at Desmorelda, she went from mate to mate whenever she—”
“I don’t want to be anything like her!” I cried.
“You wouldn’t be Miranda,” Damon said, “This is something all three of us would agree to. Desmorelda didn’t agree to anything, she did as she pleased.”
“He’s right,” Ben said. Then he sighed, “I guess I’ll do it. It would be the best for everyone, especially the boys.”
Damon nodded his head; then he looked at me. “It’s up to you?”
I sighed, as I didn’t know what to do. I was torn; while part of me was thrilled that I could be with both men I loved, the other part was terrified of this unique relationship.
“I will do it,” I said, “but if we agree to this...the three of us are a family...now and forever. Jealousy and other petty emotions can’t get in the way. This isn’t just between the three of us. We have two children to think about.”
“I agree,” Damon said. Then he looked at Ben, “Bringing you back is already going to be emotional for Benny. The three of us can’t cause any more drama. Are you okay with this Ben?”
“Yes, of course. I will do anything for Miranda and my son.”
“And Luke,” Damon added. “If you join this family, you will have to show Luke just as much love as you show your own child.”
“I will do that,” Ben replied.
“So it’s agreed?” Damon asked. “The three of us...for life?”
“I guess,” Ben said reluctantly.
“Ben please. You have to be in this, one-hundred percent,” Damon said. “Once we tell the children...there’s no backing out.”
“I am,” Ben said.
Damon looked at me, “Miranda?”
“Yes. If you guys can get along,” I said.
Damon reached his hand out to Ben, and they shook on it.
The three of us headed back to the cave, as it was extremely cold outside, and Ben was still very weak. As we crawled through the dreary cave entrance, I wondered what was in store for my strange future. Despite it all, I was relieved that both Damon and Ben knew my true feelings and they agreed to make this relationship work.
When we reached the cave room, the others stopped what they were doing and turned our way. I looked at Damon and Ben and said quietly, “Should we tell them our announcement?”
Ben looked reluctant, but Damon nodded his head.
“Ben?” I asked. “Do you mind?”
Ben nodded, so I looked at everyone sitting around the fire and said, “When we find Benny and return to the castle, Ben will be moving in with Damon and I. The five of us will be a family.”
Everyone looked around at one another, as they didn’t know what to say.
Finally David spoke up, “I’m happy for the three of you.”
My father nodded his head and said, “If the three of you can make it work...I think it will be good for the boys.”
Nathen and Delia looked reluctant, but they nodded their heads with weak smiles pasted across their faces.
“Let’s get some sleep,” David said. “We’ll see how Ben’s leg is doin’ tomorrow and hopefully we can get a move on. We’ve been gone two nights and haven’t made it very far.”
Everyone began spreading out and laying down blankets. We had lost two backpacks and the tents during the beast attack, so we were lucky to have the cave to keep the wind away. I gave Emerlee my sleeping bag, since her backpack had been left behind. Nathen and Delia bundled together in one corner of the cave, and Emerlee took the other. David bundled up in his blankets near the cave entrance and my father laid by the fire.
I looked between
Damon and Ben, wondering where the three of us would sleep and if the three of us would sleep together. There was one large area left in the cave room, so I headed that way. Damon and Ben quickly followed behind me. They unzipped their sleeping bags, and we laid them on the ground along with my blanket. Ben and Damon remained standing, as I settled into the middle of our makeshift bed. They stood uncomfortably for a few moments before they quickly lay down on either side of me. With both men besides me, I was unsure what to do.
As I lay on my back completely still, I could feel the heat emit from the bodies on either side of me, and I felt drawn to them both. I had an urge to wrap my arms around both of them, but I wasn’t sure whom to choose. Damon lay to my left and Ben to my right. Finally, I rolled to the left and stared into Damon’s deep blue eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him goodnight. I gazed into Damon’s eyes for only a minute more before I rolled to the right and saw the flames from the fire blazing into Ben’s sea blue eyes. As Ben leaned forward to kiss me goodnight, I hesitated for a moment as the memory of Damon’s soft kiss lingered across my lips. As I faltered, Ben pressed his lips into my forehead.
“I love you,” he whispered quietly.
“I love you too,” I replied as I leaned into him.
I wrapped my arms around Ben and lay my head against his chest as I felt Damon grasp me from behind. I shut my eyes and felt at peace, as I lay strangely sandwiched between the two men I loved.
Our group lived within the cave for the next several days while Delia and Emerlee recovered from their injuries and Ben’s leg healed. My father, Damon and David all recovered fast, as they all had superhuman blood, but Emerlee and Ben’s recovery seemed to linger. While we waited for the group to heal, we were able to feast on the beast for several days, with the cave as cold as a refrigerator. Because we had an abundance of meat at our disposal, we spent the majority of our time boiling drinking water and repairing our damaged supplies as we prepared for the remainder of our journey.
While the others recovered, David and I made a short journey to where the camp had been attacked by beasts, to salvage anything that could be repaired. The sight of the camp was horrifying as we drew close enough to see its sight. Even at a distance away, I could smell the disgusting stench of the decaying beasts, and as we drew closer I felt sickened by the sight and smell.
When we reached camp, there were decaying pieces of beast carcass scattered across the ground. Each body part was covered in maggots, and from the looks of it, had already been feasted on by several other animals. I tried not to vomit, as the sight sickened me.
David and I searched around, as we tried to find anything that could be of use, but all three tents were shredded to pieces by the rabid beasts. The two backpacks had been torn apart by scavenging animals, and supplies were scattered across the ground. David and I each took the remains of a backpack and began to search through them.
Hungry animals had stolen every bit of food in the bags, and most of the supplies had been ravaged in the process. I was able to salvage a hunting knife and a few unopened medical supplies. I looked towards David and shook my head. I lifted the few menial supplies in the air. David looked towards me and gave me a grim look.
David held up his supplies as he headed towards me and said, “A knife, compass and a sleeping bag.”
“Better than nothing,” I huffed.
David nodded his head and we walked back to the cave.
After five days of living in the cave, Ben announced that he was well enough to tackle the journey once more. I examined his stitched wound and saw that it was healing nicely. I was impressed by my work, as I had stitched Ben impromptu.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked him.
“I’m feeling back to normal...thanks to all of David’s fine cooking,” he smiled.
“Do you think you are going to be able to handle all the walking?” I asked as I wrapped the wound with fresh gauze. Despite Ben’s confidence, I was quite certain his wound would impair his ability.
“I’ll be fine,” Ben said as he kissed my cheek.
We loaded up the remainder of our supplies and packed them into our remaining six backpacks. My father had lost his backpack in the attack, so he insisted on carrying mine. As we crawled out of the cave and lined up for the journey, I could see that Ben was struggling to walk with the extra weight on his wounded leg.
“I’ll take your bag,” I said to him quietly.
“I can’t let you do that,” he replied.
“My dad’s carrying my bag,” I said, “I feel useless.”
“Then I will feel useless,” he replied.
“Just let ‘er carry the bag,” David said as he had been listening in. “The bag will just slow you down with your leg.”
Ben nodded his head as he sheepishly handed me the bag.
David stood at the front of our group and began to speak, “As you all can see, there is a pretty big mountain above this cave. We’re gonna have to climb it, if we want to reach Desmorelda’s cabin.”
“Can’t we just go around?” Delia asked.
“Sure we can go around, “David chuckled, “But it will take ten days...if all goes as planned. If we climb the mountain...oh I’d say two days...three if we go slowly. I should mention, snow beasts like to hang out in the valleys.”
Delia looked horrified and said, “I guess I can do my best.”
“Now here’s what we’re gonna do,” David said as he pulled a rope from his bag. “I’m gonna line you up. I want the biggest and strongest up front and the smallest and weakest in back. I’m gonna tie you all together, and I’ll be up front. That way, if someone slips, the weight will be anchored up front.”
David stepped forward and said, “Alexander...you first.” My dad stepped forward and David tied a rope around his waist. As he tied, he said, “Nathen, you next.”
Nathen stepped behind my dad as David tied the two together. David called for Damon next and me right behind him.
“What about me? Ben seemed confused.
“Miranda’s a superhuman and you’ve got a bad leg. You can go behind her.”
Ben looked embarrassed. Before he died, Ben would have easily been first in line as he was a powerful vampire. Ben hung his head and marched in line behind me, as he knew David was right. David attached Ben to me and continued down the line. Emerlee was tied to Ben, and Delia was left at the end.
David marched to the front of the line and tied himself to my father as he said, “We’ll go at a slow pace. If you need a break, if you need to slow down or you’re in trouble, yell to the front of the line. Got it?”
Everyone nodded their heads and agreed as David began trekking up the hill with a map and compass in hand. He walked at a slow yet even pace, as the ground was snow-covered and steep. As soon as Damon moved forward, I began walking directly behind him. I could hear Ben’s footsteps behind me as he began pacing behind. As he began to walk I heard him softly groin in pain.
“Are you okay?” I said softly.
“I’m fine,” he grumbled, but he continued to groan softly in discomfort.
I reached forward and tapped on Damon’s shoulder, “Slow down,” I said softly.
“I’m fine Miranda,” Ben cried.
“I know,” I said. “My legs are already starting to hurt,” I lied.
Ben was quiet as the group slowed to a gentle pace. Our group slowly hiked up the dangerous snow covered mountain for quite some taking one careful step at a time. A few times I heard Delia slip from behind, but the weight of our group was able to catch her, and we were able to carry on.
After several hours of hiking through the steep snow, even at a crawl, my legs were beginning to ache, and I was having trouble breathing. Once more, I could hear Ben behind me moaning in pain with each step he took, and Damon was gasping for air. I wanted to stop for a break, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.
As we climbed higher up the mountain, we traveled near steep edges, and climbed over giant rocks. The beauty of
the landscape as we climbed higher was heavenly, as the bright sun shined brightly into the white snow and the gray fog created a surreal painting in the distance. Although our surroundings were quite stunning, they brought a danger even greater than their mystical beauty. Beyond the steep edges and jagged icy rocks, the thin air brought an even greater danger, as it could not be avoided.
The closer and closer we climbed to the top, I was struggling more and more to breath. The constant exercise and freezing air only made it worse, and I soon felt as if my lungs were deflating. As I gasped for air, I looked down at my fingers and realized my gloves were turning to shreds and caked in blood. My fingers had been scraped up from the rough climbing, but the pain had been masked by the numbing cold.
As we began to climb over another giant rock, I began gasping for breath, as the air grew thinner. I threw my hand over my neck and began to panic.
“Just take a deep breath,” I heard Ben say from behind.
“Are you okay?” Damon said from in front of me.
“I feel like I’m choking,” I said softly as I gasped for air.
“We need to stop!” Damon yelled to the front of the line.
“We have to get over this rock!” I heard David’s voice in the distance.
“Miranda can’t breath!” Damon yelled.
“Everyone has to get over this rock. Just keep going!” David cried out.
“I can’t breath,” I whispered as I tried to crawl on. My vision was growing fuzzy, and the world was spinning around. My heart raced, and I felt dazed as I stumbled across the rock.
“Just keep going,” I heard Ben say from behind.
As my vision blurred, I watched Damon jumped from the edge of the rock to the ground. I crawled behind him and crouched down near the edge.
“Come on, Honey. I’ll catch you,” Damon said as he stood at the bottom.
My vision was blurry, and I was looking at Damon as a double. I felt Ben crawl behind me and place his hands on my shoulders.
“Damon will catch you,” Ben said, “Just g—”
As Ben was speaking, my vision completely blurred, and my brain felt like it was mashing through a blender. I leaned over, ready to jump and suddenly felt the ground fall from beneath me.
The Portal to Sidhe: Book 2 Page 13