by Nicole Thorn
It thrashed in the mud, almost getting herself caught even worse than before. Juniper put both hands on her, trying again to get the hydra to follow her.
I didn’t know how the hell she pulled it off, but Juniper got the hydra to start moving. Step by step, she made her way closer to the clear area. Juniper stepped to safety, talking to the hydra until she started following suit.
“And the fifth trial is complete!” Callie screamed, making the crowd do the same. Verin jumped up and down, cheering louder than the entire crowd.
I looked to the screen again, seeing two of the hydra heads dip to Juniper. They licked her, and she went stiff as the dead, eyes wide in horror. At least they cleared some of the mud from her. She tried scooping up as much as she could, cleaning her completely coated body.
When Juniper stepped foot back into the stage area, Verin ran for her. She called out in protest, saying, “No! You’ll get muddy!”
He didn’t slow down, gathering the girl up in his arms and hoisting her into the air as the crowd went insane. It ended with both Verin and Juniper being a mess, but he never stopped grinning.
“She did it,” Jasmine breathed, a smile on her face and a hand on her heart.
“I never doubted you,” Jasper said as Verin brought her over. “I would hug you if you weren’t on someone’s shoulders.”
“A goddess like her shouldn’t touch the ground,” Verin said. “I’ll carry her around until she demands I set her on her feet.”
“Now please,” Juniper squeaked.
“Oh, sorry.”
Once Juniper stood on her own again, I gave her a pat on the back. “You kicked ass, sis.”
She smiled nervously at me. “Can you go get me a firehose?”
Unfortunately, they didn’t let her go clean herself off just yet. After being moved to the green room with the rest of us, Callie had to do her interview. Verin being the kind of man he was, attempted to make the best of it. He got some napkins and started lovingly scrubbing the mud from her hands and arms. Juniper had already gotten her neck clean, but her hair hung in damp, muddy strings that I could only imagine hurt her. Anger flared when I thought this extra torture might have been on purpose.
“I never doubted her for a moment,” Verin said to the camera. “There isn’t anyone more capable than my Juniper.”
She smiled at him, despite the discomfort. “And I’m positive Verin is going to do amazing in his next trial.”
“Yes,” Callie said. “I suppose the cat’s out of the bag on that one. Verin, how are you feeling about that?”
They went on for a while longer with the interview, the rest of us just this side of relaxed. We’d gone five for five so far, and we all knew exactly who was next up. That meant we could almost breathe. Verin was too cocky to fail anything the gods gave him, so I crossed my fingers.
I rubbed Jasmine’s shoulders while she picked at a small plate of food. “You doing okay?” I asked her, unsure of how tense she’d really gotten.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “I’m just glad you probably have a little more time before your next trial. You deserve a good nap or two.”
“I’m getting by,” I told her.
Distance had helped me a little since my trial/set up. I hadn’t been getting as much sleep as I needed, but at least my dreams weren’t the torturous nightmares I’d been prepared for. Though once in a while when I looked down at my hands, I still expected them to be black with soot and damage. I almost felt betrayed by the lack of it. I’d let someone die, and I deserved the markings that came with that.
It had been a test. I knew it had been a test and a lesson. The lesson seemed unneeded to me. I’d failed enough in my life to understand that on occasion, it happened and was out of my control. I couldn’t live my life without running into some reminder of that. It set me on edge when I wondered about what my next trial would be. My mind flashed with something violent, the smell of blood filling my nose. It could always get worse, so I ignored tomorrow.
When I looked up again, I saw that Juniper and Verin had been freed of Callie’s interview. They stood just off to the side, working on getting Juniper cleaner until she could go off for a proper shower. Callie had Jasper at her side, Kizzy almost hiding behind him.
Jasmine finished her food, tossing her plate aside and running her fingers through her hair. I realized that she must have been fluffing herself up for an interview I should have known was coming. Would I have gotten in trouble if I just walked away? What could they really do to me? This wasn’t part of the trials as far as we knew. The gods did this for their own entertainment. We played along so we wouldn’t piss them off and make it worse, but at some point, we had to put our foot down.
Jasmine had a big grin when Callie came over to us. Jasmine scooted over so she could do the talking, which I was eternally grateful for.
“Tense trial, huh?” Callie asked.
“My heart dropped as soon as I saw the mud,” Jasmine said. “We have a pet hydra at home, but my sister isn’t exactly a big fan. You can imagine how nervous I got.”
“Of course,” Callie said. “So far you’ve all passed the trials five for five. That’s no small feat. Are you at all worried about when you’re going to come up next?”
“Not at all. I sailed through my last trial without any problems, and I know it’ll be the same for my next one.”
I swore I caught Kizzy rolling her eyes. Her arms crossed, making her look even more annoyed. I kinda got it. Jasmine’s unwavering confidence was as comforting as it was worrisome. She could do amazing without the doubt in her mind that haunted mine. But it also meant she wouldn’t be as careful, assuming she would do great. It left me in a tight spot where I didn’t know which way to lean.
As far as the others were concerned, I could tell they had gotten exhausted with Jasmine’s… Jasmine-iness. It was why I loved her, but it made me worry no less.
“How did you feel watching your sister up on that screen?” Callie asked Jasmine.
She smiled at the camera. “I was terrified, but I’m so glad Juniper managed to pull through and win her trial. With all that mud and mess, I was positive she would give up. But she didn’t, and I’m so proud of her.”
It took me a second for her words to sink in. “Give up?” Juniper had way too much determination for that. Jasmine had to have misspoken.
“Well I… I didn’t mean it like that… It’s just that these trials are insanely hard, and I could see her not being able to…” She stopped right there, and it was a damn good thing.
I saw the look on Juniper’s face, making me wish I’d never glanced her way. Her lips parted, eyes holding hurt that screamed inside of me. It was powerful, making me lose my breath for a moment as my heart beat too fast. Verin stood with her, glaring angrily at my girlfriend. I thought for a second I would have to put myself between them. Then I realized whose side I was on.
Jasmine thought Juniper would lose. While standing there with all the unearned confidence in the world, Jasmine had assumed her sister would blow it. I might not have been so wounded if I couldn’t feel the pain strong and loud from Juniper. I couldn’t shake it off, and I didn’t want to. She deserved her feelings to be understood completely.
“Wow,” Juniper said. “You thought I would screw this whole thing up. Did you assume that we’d all fail, or only me? Like I would blow it all for us while you came out as the queen of the trials?”
The camera hadn’t stopped rolling, but Callie tossed her mic aside. I watched her inch away, done with all this shit.
“It sounds worse than it is,” Jasmine tried to say. “I love you. You know I love you, but you also know how you are.”
“How she is?” Verin snarled. “What right do you have to stand there and say Juniper would fail? Juniper’s done nothing but surpass every challenge in front of her. Have you earned your car keys back by any chance?”
“Whoa, hold on,” Jasper said, stepping forward. “Not here. Not right now.” He eyed
the camera, then Verin. “Please.”
I caught Jasmine staring at me like I was supposed to say something. I couldn’t defend her against what Verin said. Juniper had been trying hard to get through her issues. I felt it in her every single day. Jasmine struggled too, and if anything, that should have made her understand Juniper more. To hear what she actually thought was a painful shock to my system.
“You’re right,” Verin said to my brother-in-law. “I’m done with this. I’m done with her.” He pointed to Jasmine. “You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut about how damn wonderful you think you are.”
“Really?” she laughed. “Interesting coming from you. You’ve out-cockied the gods themselves, Verin. I’ve never seen you humble for one moment since we met you.”
“Would you like to know the difference between you and I, luv?” he asked. “I can believe in myself without thinking I’m better than all those around me. I know I’ll win my trials, and my worth isn’t stolen away from others. It’s one thing to be confident, and another to reckon yourself an untouchable god.”
“I am a god,” Jasmine bit back.
“In all the worst ways,” Verin said. He reached for Juniper, taking her hand. All of the harshness of his features melted away when he looked at her, and his voice was soft again. “Let’s get you changed.”
She didn’t say a word or look at her sister on the way out.
We all stood there, unsure of what to do. Kizzy was the first to speak, and she tugged on Jasper’s shirt. “Can we go talk to her, please? I want to go make it clear to Juniper that she did amazing today.”
Jasper walked off with her, and I didn’t want to be in that room anymore. I walked past Callie, giving her arm a light squeeze on my way out. I only made it to the hall before Jasmine caught up with me.
“Are you seriously pissed right now?” she asked me. “I didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t get mad that I worried she would fail.”
“That’s not it,” I said. “It’s that Juniper is your sister, and you assumed walking in that she would be the weak link. And you base that off of her OCD, which she’s been trying really hard to handle lately.”
“I know that, but it doesn’t erase that she has it.”
“I get it, Jasmine. But you walk around like you’re the goddess, and we’re all what to you? What do you see when you look at the rest of us? Are we lesser than you?”
“Of course not.”
I honestly didn’t believe her. I’d never been at Verin’s level of confidence or anywhere near it. I’d never even really gotten to Kizzy’s level. Never been that sure I would solve the problem. More like, I would hope to the gods I would, and be prepared to fail like I tended to do. Jasmine was a goddess, and it put us at totally different levels.
“I just don’t know what you see in me I guess,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I mean, did you think I would fail my trials too? I fuck up all the time, so it would make sense.”
Jasmine grabbed my arms, desperate eyes looking up at me. “Not for a second did I think you would fail, and you don’t fuck up all the time.”
“I’m the reason you and Jasper weren’t talking to each other.”
“How can you possibly blame yourself for that?”
“I’m the root cause, so it’s my fault. Not to mention everything with Kizzy, and you and your siblings dying. Everything is on me. But this time, it’s about something else. You can’t keep walking around like you’re untouchable. You aren’t. No one is untouchable, god or not. Why do you think we’re doing these trials? The gods are so scared they’ll lose that they’re doing this. What does that say to you?”
She stayed silent for too long, making me lose all sense of what I thought she would say to me. I didn’t know if she even understood what I tried to say. Confidence in the wrong way could get a person killed, and I’d already lost Jasmine once before. I wouldn’t survive that kind of pain again. I wouldn’t have wanted to survive.
Jasmine opened her mouth to speak, more silence hanging in the air. “I feel all this strength in me. I believe in myself. Why are you making that sound like a bad thing?”
“Because it’s dangerous.”
“How is it dangerous if I can actually pull off all the stuff I’m saying? Look at me, Zander. I breezed through my trial, and I’ll do the same at the next one. I’m strong now, immortal. Shouldn’t you be happy about that?”
I stood there in the quiet for a moment. “I want to be.”
I turned to walk away from her, having to wonder to myself if I would have preferred it if Jasmine were still human.
Jasmine
M y entire family had walked away from me, and instead of feeling guilty for that, I just felt angry. I hadn’t done anything wrong, even if they wanted me to believe that I had. Everyone had to have thought that someone would fail, even if they didn’t say it out loud. Just because I had said my thoughts out loud didn’t make me a monster. Juniper, okay fine, she could be mad. But that didn’t give Verin the right to talk to me the way he had, or for Jasper and Kizzy to turn away from me. And it certainly didn’t mean that Zander could get upset with me.
I was his girlfriend. He should have been on my side from the start, not looking at me like I’d shot a puppy in front of him.
Furthermore, of course, Juniper’s issues would make her the obvious weak link. I’d seen her breakdown over small things, like not being able to find a letter opener. Even when I offered to rip the letter open myself, it didn’t placate her. She’d freaked out even harder, saying something about jagged edges, as if paper could do that. Of course, she was the weak link.
Someone had to be the one to worry about, the weakest, the one most likely to fail. It wouldn’t be Zander or myself, because we had both proven that we could take on anything thrown at us. Jasper seemed like the strongest and healthiest of the others, and Verin could kick ass if he really wanted to, as long as he didn’t get angry. Kizzy had worked through most of her issues, and that left Juniper. Juniper, who couldn’t handle it when things got messy, who freaked out when something wasn’t where it belonged, and who, yeah, couldn’t even get through the day without Verin comforting her over something small.
She was the weakest link.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but everyone sure as hell shouldn’t have been mad at me for stating what all of them had to be thinking.
In a huff, I walked back into the green room, which had thankfully emptied out, and flopped down on one of the couches. I had my chin in my hand, glaring at the wall directly in front of me. I had lost my appetite and I didn’t even want to deal with this anymore. I didn’t want to do the rest of the trials. Not if my family would get angry at me for playing the game the way it should have been played.
They didn’t get to be angry with me for succeeding and worrying about someone who might not.
Someone knocked on the doorframe, drawing my attention. Heracles stood with his shoulder against the door, a frown on his face. “You okay?”
I snorted. “You didn’t see the wonderful fight on TV?”
He shrugged, coming further into the room. “I saw it, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“Great. How many demigods and gods think I’m a jerk for worrying that my sister wouldn’t make it through her trial?”
Heracles came further into the room, shoving his blond hair out of his face. He sat across from me, putting his elbows on his knees. “I wouldn’t say that anyone thinks you’re a jerk,” he said. “I’m sure there are a lot of people that agree with you. There are bets going around, you know.”
I frowned. “Bets?”
He nodded. “Just like with any sports game. Who will win, who will lose? If you guys as a team will succeed or if you’ll fail. That kind of stuff.”
I hated everything he said. “Oh,” I responded, wrinkling my nose. “Does that mean that people were betting that Juniper wouldn’t get through her trial?”
“Yep. Just like they did for yo
u, and for Zander, and for Jasper, and for Kizzy. All of you have the world against you while they’re also rooting for you.”
My stomach twisted. “That’s disgusting,” I said emphatically. “Don’t they get that this entire thing, us being here, is to make sure that the world doesn’t die in a war we didn’t even know was about to start? We’re doing this for them, and they’re taking bets on if we’ll fail?”
Heracles shrugged. “It’s the way the world works. You throw a man into a cage with a tiger with an audience of more than two, and inevitably, someone will wager with someone else on who will win.”
I frowned, staring down at the table. “I suppose I don’t have much room to be upset, then, huh?”
Heracles grabbed a bottle from the table by the couches. He poured himself a glass, and I could actually smell the alcohol. That astringent scent that should have turned me off from the drink but made my mouth water instead. He left the bottle on the table between us, leaned back, and took a sip from the top of his glass. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Really?” I asked, dragging my eyes off the bottle so that I could meet his gaze. “I did the same thing that everyone else did. I looked at everyone in my family and picked someone that I felt was the most likely to fail. Then I announced it to the entire world.”
“You didn’t take bets, though.”
“Does that matter?” I asked, starting to see Zander’s point. Juniper was trying, and just because she hadn’t gotten better as rapidly as I had, didn’t make it okay for me to doubt her. Even on this trip, where I knew she’d be stressed the most, she had brought colorful clothing. She’d stopped wearing white and tan clothes and started dressing in oranges and purples and blues and greens. She had been trying to get better, and what? It wasn’t enough for me?
“It does matter,” Heracles said. “To take a bet, you have to be so incredibly sure that you are right about the other person failing that you are willing to put money down on it. Or something worse. You didn’t do that. You just had a moment of worry, a moment where you thought that maybe your sister wouldn’t do what needed to be done, because of her specific weaknesses.”