by Nicole Thorn
Jasper nodded.
But I did promise it. To myself, to Zander, to my siblings, to the other demigods. I swore it to everyone because I wouldn’t let them down again. I wouldn’t ruin everything the way that Verin thought I would. Not after the hellish nightmare that yesterday had been.
I looked at Jasper. “I know that you aren’t upset about it, but I want to apologize again for the way I spoke to you after Zander’s trial. With all the feelings building up inside of me, I just… You know how we were talking about Dad’s voice in our heads?”
Jasper nodded.
“His voice is always there, telling me that I have to cheer everyone up because no one else can do it. I have to smile and be pretty and act sweet. I have to be the one because both of you have more important jobs to do. You have a house to run and you have to protect us.” I gestured to my siblings. “And I’ve always been the one that cheered people up, no matter how down they felt. And I started getting sick of it. It’s like this weird weight, this pressure that pushes me down into the floor constantly. It’s been getting worse since we died, because… we fucking died. We were dead, and there is literally no way for me to comfort that knowledge for Zander, or Kizzy, or Verin. And Dad’s voice just kept getting louder, more insistent, and I wanted everyone to go away after a while. I know that sounds stupid and selfish, but I wanted to be free of this duty, so I pushed you away. And I’m sorry. It’s been a tense few days, and I know that you didn’t mean to hurt Zander.”
Jasper took my hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re right, I’m not upset about it, but thank you for apologizing. It does mean a lot. And it’s not your job to make us feel better. You know that.”
“Just like you know that saying that doesn’t change the way it feels,” I said.
He nodded because he knew that it wasn’t his job to protect us. We had to keep ourselves alive sometimes. Just like Juniper knew that it wasn’t her job to keep everything together, but she couldn’t stop it either.
Speaking of Juniper.
I looked her dead in the eyes. She wore a yellow dress that made her look bright and sunny, and her long hair hung over either shoulder, free-flowing. Six months ago, she wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing something like that. “You know that I’m proud of you, right?” I asked.
She dropped her eyes. “You don’t have to say anything, Jazzy.”
“No, Juni, look at me,” I ordered.
She glanced up.
“I am really, really proud of you. The first time you wore a dress that had color, I almost cried, I was so proud of you. I couldn’t believe that you had done something like that, after so many years of strict rules for yourself. The fact that you’ll eat fries when you want to eat fries now, that makes me happy.”
Jasper nodded. “You’ve made so much progress, more than either of us.”
“It’s easy to make the most progress when you’re the most broken,” Juniper muttered.
“Um, I feel like you’re trying to take my title,” I said.
She smirked at me. “You think you’re worse than me?”
“Which one of us nearly destroyed her relationship with her entire family because she couldn’t handle the job of being cheerful?” I asked.
Juniper shook her head. “I’m not getting into that kind of messed up fight with you. But I am worse than you are.”
I snorted, then got serious again. “I’m not joking, though. You’ve done so much in such a short amount of time. I’ve never been prouder of you than at that time. And I think you’re strong.”
She scoffed.
“You are,” Jasper threw in there before I could continue. “Ask any of us, we’ll tell you the truth. Ask Zander what we’re feeling. You know he won’t lie. He hates lying.”
Juniper blushed, looking down at the ground. “You thought I’d lose one of my trials.”
Another slash across my heart.
I cleared my throat. “I thought I’d lose, and it terrified me so much that I had to put the worry onto someone else. And I went with you, because… I don’t know. Because I’m jealous of how much you’ve done in such a short time? Because anyone who doesn’t know shit about our family would think you are the weakest? I don’t know, but I was stupid and wrong. We all knew that from the beginning.”
Juniper offered me a weak smile. I didn’t know if she believed me, but she had been willing to sit with me, and that mattered enough that I didn’t push it. We all got up, and I hugged both of my siblings. Juniper held onto me so tightly that I felt like my lungs would explode. I could almost feel the worry she had been hiding for the last two days.
Then I hugged Jasper. He was always gentle, even when he squeezed me or lifted me off my feet, like now. As he set me back down, I said, “Thanks, guys. For hearing me out.”
Juniper shrugged. “I suppose we could have ignored you, but then you would have kept pounding on the door.”
I snorted. “Well, I can’t risk losing the only two people obligated to tolerate me by blood.”
Jasper smirked.
We went our separate ways. I hoped that Jasper would pave the way for me to make up with Kizzy, but Verin… I didn’t see the two of us ever finding common ground again. If we barely talked for the rest of our lives, it wouldn’t have surprised me. I felt sad about that, but some things couldn’t be mended.
I opened the door to me and Zander’s room to find that he had taken some time to decorate it. Flowers, everywhere. Not red roses, either, but colorful flowers. Blue petals covered the bed, orange flowers lined the dresser, green ones dotted the surrounding surfaces. It was like a rainbow had thrown up in the hotel.
Zander grinned at me as he set some purple flowers down on the floor. “What do you think?” he asked.
I squealed in delight and ran into the room as if someone had set my dress on fire. I leaped blindly, landed on the bed, and started rolling around in the sweet-scented petals. “It’s so pretty!” I shouted, almost rolling off the end of the bed. “Where the hell did you even get these.”
“Kizzy,” Zander said.
“They’re magic!” I shouted, stilling rolling around. I got a petal in my mouth, but that didn’t stop me.
Zander jumped on the bed, hooking his arm around my middle and burying his face in my neck. “Consider yourself wooed.”
I giggled.
Zander
A cloud hung over our heads when we woke up in the morning. Jasmine and I didn’t call attention to it, but we both knew there would be a trial that day. Four of us still had our second trials, me included. Though now, everything around me felt fake. Knowing that we could have been in the middle of a trial right then really made things feel more fucked.
After a shower together, Jasmine and I stood in the bathroom while we dried off and got dressed. I caught a whiff of smoke, but that had been happening ever since my first trial. Each time I showered, it would come back. Like the fire lived under my skin.
“We’ll be okay,” Jasmine promised me as she brushed her hair out. “Four more and then we’re home.”
“Four more and then we have some kind of magical tool to figure out,” I said. “I’m not so sure we’ll get to hop into our beds and enjoy a day of victory.”
Jasmine lifted an eyebrow at me. “Oh, we shall hop. We’ll hop like there’s no tomorrow.”
I tried to smile, but it felt all wrong. I would have liked a good hopping, but I could only focus on the war. We didn’t know when it would come or what it even really meant. I couldn’t see us armoring up and holding swords to an army, but that might have been it. It would have been helpful if the gods bothered to give us any bit of helpful information along the way. One would have thought they’d want us informed since we were apparently the key to their victory.
“I want to punch something,” I admitted. “Like, all the gods.”
“Not all of them,” Jasmine corrected.
“Fine,” I said with a glare. “I don’t want to punch Persephone, and I don’t especia
lly have anything against Pan.”
“Is Pan a god?”
I went blank. “Shit, I should know that. Whatever. The point is you can’t put the weight of a whole war on people, and still keep them in the dark about everything. How are we supposed to handle this big, bad, intense tool if we have no idea what it is?”
After putting her brush down, Jasmine put her hands on her hips. “I really don’t know. Have they given us any details at all?”
“None that I can remember, which means no. We’re fucked.”
Jasmine nodded solidly. “Yes, that’s probably true. But at least we’re fucked together.”
I groaned before she lightly shoved me toward the bathroom door. We didn’t have any time left to linger and contemplate our own doom. We had Callie waiting for us on stage.
The whole family stayed in the green room until they called us out. I stood with a tapping foot, Jasmine trying to lightly press down on it so I would stop. I thought it was supposed to be a game of sorts, but I felt too sick to enjoy it. At least Kizzy found a way to smother her stress. She’d destroyed half a plate of cookies all on her own, plus a piece of apple pie.
“It’s eight in the morning,” I told her with a smile.
She stuck her tongue out at me. “We don’t know what time it is in America, so it doesn’t matter. Jasper, come eat a breakfast cookie with me for solidarity.”
Kizzy held out a cookie for him, and Jasper bent down to take a bite out of it. I felt a warm swell of affection from both of them, and I could practically feel butterflies in my own stomach thanks to my sister.
I sighed. “Well jeez, Jasper. You didn’t seem so cool with eating food out of my hand when I offered, but whatever.”
The man looked over at me. “Sorry if it’s not nearly as enticing when I’m half asleep and walk into the kitchen to meet you thrusting a forkful of egg at my face.”
“I needed to know if I put too much pepper in. Step up next time.”
Kizzy giggled, then kissed Jasper’s cheek as if he were the one killing it with the eggs lately. I still didn’t get anyone telling me if my pepper sprinkling had been good enough.
My sister tucked herself under Jasper’s arm, curled up to him as much as they could be, and as private as they could be in a room full of people. Jasmine and I could get back to that if we managed to stick with our new rules. It felt okay so far, but it had been less than a day. That had to be progress, right?
There wasn’t a clock in here, but I could feel the seconds tick by as if they made literal noise. Verin and Juniper might have been the most relaxed looking as they sat on the couch. Verin had Juniper’s legs on his lap, tugging at her socks until they were perfectly even with each other. It had Juniper grinning, her chin on her hands while she watched him. He kept glancing over at her with a tiny smile that sent her heart sputtering. Even in all the stress, the room had my chest filled up with butterflies and those soft, sweet things that should have been enjoyed in a better place than this.
Finally, the lights flashed to let us know we had to go get raked over the coals. I had vivid flashes of when we marched up there to be told Jasmine had failed her trial. I wished my mind wasn’t plagued with horrible memories all the damn time. I had so many, and they tortured me almost constantly.
Verin and Juniper led the way, each couple hand in hand as we walked out to the stage for one of the last times. Four to go. I only had to keep reminding myself that after four of these, we would at least be done with this leg of our journey.
Callie stood alone on the stage, a mic in her hand and bags under her eyes. I got angry all over again. She should have been home with her family instead of with us. The gods could pretend they just wanted to test us, but there was no reason for her to be dragged down with us. This didn’t teach Callie a damn thing, and she wouldn’t even be part of the war. Callie couldn’t fight, and I knew Apollo would never have asked her to try. The gods dragged her in because they could. Plain and simple.
“Welcome back, guys,” the girl said flatly to us. She couldn’t even fake a smile anymore. “Are you ready to see who’s up next?”
No one answered her.
Behind us, that stupid wheel started to spin. It had changed since some of us had finished with both of our trials. Juniper and Jasmine’s names had vanished from the wheel, the rest of ours getting bigger wedges as it spun around. I waited, holding my breath to find out who would be up for their round of hell.
“Verin Cooper!” Callie called to us. The crowd cheered for him, happy and careless as to what this meant.
Verin stepped up to Callie, smiling and putting his arm around her. I thought for a moment that it was fake or at least exaggerated, but I could feel his inner workings. He was fine with this. Just this side of pumped even. Verin had no doubts about himself, unburdened with what the rest of us dealt with. He had a mother that loved him and told him he was wonderful and capable. We never had that.
My eyes went to that wheel again, seeing Verin’s name vanishing. Assuming Verin would win his trial, that left Kizzy, me, Jasper. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or even more stressed out. If I had been picked, then at least I would almost be done. Now, I had to wait to see what happened next.
“How are you feeling about this?” Callie asked, and then pointed her mic at Verin. “Lots of pressure on you.”
“None at all,” he responded. “I won my last trial, and I’ll win this one. Simple as that.”
Callie held her fake smile like a pro. “I wish you all the luck in the world, Verin. I’m sure your family will be cheering as loud as me as you sail through your trial.”
He grinned. “Thank you, luv.”
She cleared her throat, the scene behind her changing. The screen took over the whole wall, showing a massive field filled with a hundred monsters. I saw gorgons, werewolves, giants, people with weapons. They all stood, still but ready. A hill with a gazebo at the top of it sat behind them. Golden pillars held the gazebo up, and I pretended that they couldn’t have been real gold. The white roof looked too perfect too, annoying me. A table sat in the middle of the gazebo, holding the caduceus. I recognized the symbol of Hermes instantly, but I couldn’t figure out why the hell that would be there or what Hermes had to do with any of this.
“Your task is simple,” Callie said to Verin. “You’re going to be set in this field, and your job is to retrieve Hermes’ caduceus. The moment you put your hands on it, you’re finished.”
“Easy enough,” Verin said with a nod.
Callie continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “You have to get through the army without killing a single one of them.”
The audience ooed at that as if it were interesting or entertaining. I wanted to hurt each and every one of them, and I sure hoped that I never saw any of Zeus’ kids after the trials ended. They would regret it deeply.
Verin held his head up high, taking a quick breath. “I can do that,” he said.
Juniper swayed back and forth, her eyes on the monsters and armed people being shown on the screen. I was positive they hadn’t been instructed not to kill Verin. He would have a mob after him. I couldn’t help but remember the last time he’d done this. A lot of lives had been lost.
The doors opened to blackness, and Verin walked through them like it was nothing. I saw when he appeared in the field, a good thirty feet from the closest enemy. The ‘camera’ panned close to his face. His eyes scanned the area, probably looking for a way around them so he could get to the hill. At least he hadn’t been given a time limit. He could construct a plan and execute it as he needed.
A gorgon came at Verin first. He couldn’t look into her eyes, but she shined them in his direction. I watched him dodge, his eyes half closed as he missed getting punched by an inch, then gave out a kick of his own to her tail. She screamed in pain, so Verin did it again. I watched him break her arm, then kick at her spine before she went down. He could maim them, but not kill.
My own heart started to race as I watched
him slowly making his way through the crowd. They came for him, weapons in hand while he avoided letting them touch him. He laid them out one by one. I watched like a hawk, making sure that nothing he did would kill someone. How he did it, I couldn’t understand. It was like Verin knew exactly what he could damage before they would meet their end.
In about twenty minutes, Verin had taken out at least forty of the enemies around him. They came without mercy, each one waiting for their turn at him. Their eyes looked wild and their attacks became sloppy. That could only help Verin at this point. They took their shots, breaking bones and tearing at his flesh. It healed, though I didn’t think Juniper ever would. Jasper had her close, assuring her that Verin would be okay.
A demigod’s dagger sliced deeply across Verin’s arm, blood gushing to the ground before it started to heal. Verin turned to the threat, eyes quickly calculating how he could take him out without murdering the guy. Verin’s hand darted out to grab his shirt. He pulled the boy forward, only to punch him in the temple. The boy blinked and went down.
Verin cleared another ten feet, taking out a werewolf, three more demigods, a giant, and some form of beast I’d never seen before. I was just happy not to see a cyclops or minotaur on the field. I had too many bad memories. But Verin probably would have been fine. He made slow progress, but it was still progress.
A chimera came at him out of nowhere, leaping through the air and landing hard on Verin. It knocked him to the ground, teeth biting at his face. He managed to keep it at bay, but only barely. The thing tore into his shoulder, making Verin scream out in pain. I could almost smell the blood from where I stood.
Verin put his hands around its neck, ignoring the snake head that bit into his arm. He focused on the fangs of the lion, and the claws tearing at his middle. Juniper shook, eyes glued to the screen. I could feel her hate toward it. I could feel the tingle in her feet that told her to run and save him.
Verin shoved the creature it aside after he’d crushed something in its chest. Maybe a shoulder bone. I hadn’t been watching. He popped onto his feet, giving the thing a kick. He didn’t see the man coming up behind him, dagger in hand and ready to slice him open. Verin’s chest still pumped, eyes sharp and ready for almost anything. He might not have seen the demigod, but he had to have heard him.