by Ariana Rose
“Yes, Sir.” I give him a not so polite salute. Although it is way more polite than the one-fingered version I want to give him.
“I know that was sarcastic but good thing I’m not easily offended. You can have your crutches today but know they will become a thing of the past soon. Have you taken your pain meds today?”
“No.”
“Short, sweet, and to the point.” He grabs the bottles off my bedside table. “Okay. Have your compression brace on?”
“Yes.”
He smirks. “You’re a quick study. Good. So that shit brace you had on last night can stay here. I’ve had a couple of things overnighted to me by one of the trainers with my former team. We’re going to be trying some new things to see if we can get you up and running.”
“I prefer walking, thank you.”
“Good, because you’ll be doing a ton of it. Time for phase one to begin. We’ll be going back to my condo.”
“Excuse me?” I shriek.
“It’s private, quiet, and I have your exercises set up there until you’re ready for the world and the real gym.”
“I’m not going there alone with you,” I bark.
“I’m not going to bite unless you piss me off, which you will if you don’t start getting with the program. I’m here to help you and the quicker you get it, the quicker you can heal and the quicker you can get back on the ice.”
“And the quicker I can be rid of you. Don’t forget that one.”
“If that incentivizes you, great. My condo is out the front and two doors to your left in case you were wondering. I have a water bottle for you too, because I’m a nice guy, so I think we’re set. After you, Princess.”
“I’m not a princess.”
“That remains to be seen.”
I glare at him in partial disgust, partial wonder, and a partial way to hide my physical pain as I pass him. I ignore Brian, who’s gleefully enjoying his coffee at the table as I fumble with the door handle and exit not so gracefully. I hear the door pull closed behind me. Spencer’s footsteps match me with each click of my crutches until we reach his door.
“Before we go in, I want you to know that even though I run the show, you do have a say in many things. That will be part of what you learn. You have more power than you think you do.”
Ha. That’s a good one.
He opens the door and the couch is pushed back out of the center of the room. There is a bright blue yoga mat rolled out on the floor with a device that looks like a battery charger lying beside it. On the coffee table, which was pushed to the other wall, there is a towel, my water bottle, and his iPod with a Bluetooth speaker.
“All right, class begins. Have a seat on the couch and put your leg up.” He walks past me and sets his keys on the counter before putting my pill bottles next to the water bottle. “I don’t know what you’ve been told, so I’m going to start at the beginning like this is day one post-surgery. If I’m telling you something you’ve already heard it’s not to talk down to you, it’s to make sure we’re on the same page. Fair?”
“Fair.” I struggle to get my leg comfortable. The pain is so great this morning it’s hurting my head.
“The other thing I will ask for is complete honesty. I can’t help you in the way you need if you don’t talk to me. Truth always. Fair?”
I hate it but… “Yes. Fair.”
“You’re in a lot of pain right now, aren’t you? I can see it in your face.”
I nod and hold my head in my hand. “It blew up to twice its size overnight.”
“Did you ice it before you went to sleep?”
“No.”
“I know it’s a pain in the ass, but it’s the best thing for it. We’re going to start with alternating your pain meds round the clock for the first week then play with it to see what your tolerance is. Advil first.” He opens the bottle and places three pills in my hand then hands me my new water bottle. “Slowly drink down half of this water with these, and I’ll get your new best friend fired up.”
“What is that thing?”
“I’m shocked it wasn’t suggested to you before now. It’s a pneumatic compression device. It can do a variety of things. I’m going to show you how it will replace the ice bags and gel packs I assume you’ve been using.”
He rips open the Velcro and lays the wrap on the floor. “I’m going to push your pant leg up and look at your knee. I’ll be as gentle as I can. Try to relax.”
I haven’t let anyone touch it unless I was forced to. Each zing is a pain I don’t think I can stand. Spencer cradles my whole leg against his body and extends his arm completely underneath my leg before sliding the wrap underneath. He turns his ball cap backward and lightly presses around the kneecap. “You’ve got a lot of fluid buildup in there. We’re going to have to work on that. This device I’m setting up will help.”
He’s gentle with me. That’s a shocker. The wrap goes from mid-thigh down to mid-calf. It feels like a blood pressure cuff only for my leg. “How does that feel?”
“I mean not great but not because of anything you did.”
“Okay, I’m going to turn on the coolant setting right now. We can look at the compression and in combination as time goes. My goal is to get your swelling down.”
“That would be nice.”
“Yeah, I get it. That’s the first thing I know I wanted. Some days my knee felt like a balloon that was about to pop.”
“You’ve used this?”
“We’re old friends. Let me get breakfast started and you can play twenty questions, how about that?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Cierra, your food intake is going to be another key in your recovery. I’m going to show you some easy things you can make on your own to allow you feel like you have more say in what happens to you.”
“Food is going to do that?”
“Everything you do is a choice. Fighting with me is a choice. Sulking alone is a choice. Hiding is a choice. Doing everything you can to make the healing easier is a choice.”
“Who said I’m sulking?”
“No one. If that’s the only word you heard from what I said, then that’s more about you than it is anything else.”
“Wow. Nice to asshole in two point five seconds.”
“If telling the truth makes me an asshole, then I’m going to be an asshole a lot. I’m going to make you a cheese and mushroom omelet. I’m also going to make you a smoothie to go with it with a mixture of yogurt, strawberries, banana, and kiwi. This will be our base breakfast to get your body primed. Then we walk. We’ll go by how your body feels. This is where your honesty comes in, which we both know you’re capable of.”
“I’m capable of many things.”
“I’ll learn that in time, I hope. You asked if I’ve used a machine like this. The answer is yes. I was lucky enough to blow both my ACLs. The first time was in Game One of the Stanley Cup Finals.”
I watched him beat the eggs, long past when they needed to be. The bowl settled down on the counter pretty hard. The knife he used to chop the mushrooms came down with each slice on the cutting board. He was giving me details on his first injury then his second.
“So, you can see why I’ll be able to call you on any shit you’d choose to give me. I’ve seen it all. I’ve done it all.”
He flips the omelet on a plate and brings it over to me. “I’m going to set the compression mode on while the cooling finishes for five minutes, so you can see what it’s like.”
I start to eat as the noise from my machine duels with that from the blender. His story came to me very matter-of-fact. I can tell there’s more. Much more to Spencer Broten than meets the eye.
Chapter 9
Spencer
Cierra impressed me on her first day. She ate her breakfast completely. I could tell she was trying to test my limits on how many times she could say no, or if her foul mouth would make me shy away. If anything, the locker room atmosphere made me feel more at home. We were able to have
a discussion about my training program for her without some of the major pushback I expected. She hadn’t been doing what the doctors told her she should, which I called her on.
I’ve got her alternating the Tylenol and Advil on a regular basis while she’s awake. No matter how much she hates it, she will be wearing her compression tube all the time for a while, unless she’s showering, until I can get the swelling controlled. She will use her new best friend machine five times a day.
Starting tomorrow, we will be going through a course of exercises twice a day, along with two walks per day of varying lengths increasing to three as her stamina does. We will also eat every meal together. This will serve two purposes. One, I will see that she’s eating and eating properly and two, it will give us a chance to get to know one another to establish trust.
I opt to retire early after dinner. I could see Cierra was grateful. She was fading fast. I think no one had pushed her that hard since she fell. The other truth is I needed a bit of time to myself. I can’t fill someone else’s tank if mine’s nearly empty.
I thought I’d fade off to sleep, but it turns out to be one of those nights where I am too tired to sleep. I decide I need a bit of fresh air to clean out my mind. A light jacket is all I need to wander the grounds. I weave on the trails through all the wooded areas that dot the resort near the condos.
At the top of the rise, the lights are still up over the outdoor rink. The beacon of light is saying, ‘Come to me. Skate on me.’ It’s not all together a bad idea. It’s been a while. Too long in fact. I take a light jog back to the condo and grab the skates. I leave my stick behind.
As I reach the rink, the attendant is getting ready to let it go dark for the night. I somehow convince him to give me fifteen minutes. I lace as fast as I think I ever have and hop atop the boards. The ice is hacked and rutted but I don’t care. I can guess I’ve skated on worse. I lower down to the surface and check my bend. My laces are tight enough. My knees aren’t in pain. Let’s do this.
I lap a few times with basic stroking. It feels so good to get that push then the undercut. I have to remember to keep my speed down, even though all I want to do is go hard and fast until I drop. After running through a couple basic drills, I try my change of direction. Taking off to the left seems easy enough. When I push to the right, a twinge shoots around behind the back of my knee.
There it is. A very clear reminder of what once was and will never be again. I shouldn’t have tried. I won’t again.
~~~
The next couple of weeks flow in my opinion. I had the layout for Cierra beginning at a basic level, even though she should be well on down the road. I find through testing, and her protesting, she has achieved the stamina and flexibility to alter quickly.
In order to challenge her to catch up even more, I tell Cierra we’re going to four a day cycles instead of the three we’ve been doing. She opens her mouth to say something, which undoubtedly would have caused a war of words, but she doesn’t. I wish she would have. I could use the excuse to let off a bit of steam.
The boys made it to the playoffs last night. Garrett texted from the locker room and sent me a random video or two of the champagne showers. While I’m fucking pumped for them, it’s another reminder of what I’m missing.
“You’re more irritating today than usual,” Cierra says, as she carefully lowers into a modified lunge behind the chair.
“I’m in work mode.”
“Do as I say not as I do. So much for the truth.”
Fucking hell. I roll my neck to the right and left. She would pick right this minute to toss my words back in my face. “My former team made it to the playoffs last night.”
“Okay. You’re not happy they did?”
“It’s great.”
“Yeah. I can see how great it is.”
Her finger is on a hot button. Think fast. “I want to get your heart rate up. So, we’re going to try something new. We’re going to go outside for it though. I will take your bench. See that orange ball? Grab it.”
She follows behind me. I can hear her slowed gate. After I put her bench in the grass, I go just inside the entry and grab a ball for myself. “As you can tell, these are fitness balls. Yours is a six-pound. Mine is a ten. What we’re going to do is very simple. You’re going to sit on the end of your bench, with your knees wider than the end, and you’re going to drive that ball into the ground. Then pick it up and begin again. We’re going to go for two minutes.”
“We?”
“Yes. I’m not going to ask you to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. Get settled.”
I hadn’t intended this for today but it’s what I need. I need to smash something. I can’t drive someone into the boards. I can’t unload a wrist shot into the goalie. I can’t race up ice and race back. All those nos return. I need to somehow bring it back to center before I lose what’s left of my cool.
She positions on the end of the bench. I reposition her feet so they are out of the line of fire. “Now extend the ball over your head and drive it into the ground.”
I stand in front of her and raise my ball over my head and drive it into the ground with a roaring grunt. I squat to grab it and drive again. I go over and over until beads of sweat run from my temples and down my cheeks. This is for every lost game minute. This is for every fight missed. This is for every single no. This is for every lost stroke. This is for every tear I gave Mari.
Growling, I drive the ball into the ground one last time with such force I stumble back out of the way. After a couple steps I steady but drop to one knee. My heart is pounding, and my lungs are burning. I slide my hands through my hair and look up. Cierra is staring at me.
I can tell by her breathing she’s not even picked up the ball once. “Is there a reason you only watched?”
“I… no. It’s just… maybe we need to be done for the day.”
“Fine.” Normally, I would argue. Today I can’t.
Chapter 10
Cierra
After an hour of talking to my parents, I stand in the shower a long time wondering what Spencer’s clear fit was all about. Is he mad at me? Is it because he’s frustrated in some way? Is it because of his friends? He was fucked up nonetheless. He’s not one to show any anger. He’s got the most even temper. It’s annoying actually.
It wasn’t that he was pissed that was freaky. It was that there was emotion at all. He’s so good at not letting you know what he’s thinking it pisses me off. I wish I had that gift. I hope he’s not that way for dinner. I’m not up for sitting in awkward silence. Sitting in regular silence is one thing. When it hits that awkward phase it’s just extra.
As I’m drying off, the one thing I do notice is I’m not in pain. I usually have some after working with him. Today I don’t. This was my first major injury. I didn’t have anything to compare it to. I’d push through sprains, strains, and the constant muscle pulls. This I couldn’t.
It’s a relief and it’s scary all in one breath. Does this mean what Spencer and I are doing is working? Being without pain is good. The rest, I’m not so sure.
~~~
The end of every week brings a skill test. This week I ask for outside since it’s so nice. The sun is high and bright. I like the warmth on my body for a change. The more Spencer and I work, the more I need it. He’s pushed me so hard lately.
Not that he hasn’t from day one, but the intensity this week has been exponentially greater. This skill test is no different. There are flexibility and range of motion activities we usually perform, but today he’s added some that I remember from my off-ice ballet class. Is that another layer? Does he know that shit or is someone feeding him? He’s recording any improvements I have or any areas he should focus on more. This week comes with yet another thing I haven’t seen before, an eyebrow raises. “What?” I ask.
“You can’t tell?”
“If I could tell I wouldn’t be asking. Will you tell me, please?”
“It’s graduation day, Cierra. You’r
e back to being ready to resume more normal activities, if your doctor allows. I’m seeing nothing that would indicate otherwise.”
My heart rate starts to pick up. “What does that mean?”
“That will mean we will transition to cross-training, swimming, and a few other activities, as well as basic skating. I will talk to the other trainers and get you and me into the gym schedule.”
I rub the inside of my left palm with my thumb. “I’m not ready for skates. I’m not.” I answer so quickly it shocks me and I think Spencer as well.
“We’ll just see how things go, okay?”
“How did you know the ballet stuff?” Before he can answer, a voice comes from a few feet behind us. “She’s ready for the ice?” I push my hood back from my eyes as I slowly stand to find my mother flanked by my father. “Surprise, Cierra!”
It really is. I survived their inquisition last night after a long day. I didn’t know they were hopping on a plane. “Mom, Dad…Hi”
“Hiya, Cici,” my dad says, as he takes hold of my hand and kisses my cheek. “Hello again, Spencer.”
“Hello, Mr. Avila, Mrs. Avila. Cierra, didn’t know you were coming?”
My mother is quick to respond. “My your handsome. No, we wanted to see firsthand how you were doing and the first thing we hear is that you can finally skate. That makes me so happy to hear.”
“I said if her doctors agree it’s possible, then yes,” Spencer corrects them.
My father claps his hands together. “Well, that’s fantastic! We should celebrate. Let me buy us all dinner at Gretchen’s. Your mother and I will get settled in our suite and see you all at seven. Tell Brian to find his tie.”
As quickly as they whirled in, they’re gone. I couldn’t get a word in. Wait. That’s a lie. I got in a hi. Spencer doesn’t look like he got hit by a train, but I’m sure he will later. I, on the other hand, have gone from warm to shocked to anxious in the matter of a few minutes.