She nodded to the chair next to her, her gaze returning to the water in front of them. “I thought you’d have left Chiang Rai by now. Find your soulmate in that hostel of yours?”
“Nope. Just…didn’t feel right leaving things the way I did. Been wandering around most of the night, hoping to get a chance to talk to you.”
Chloe threw a side glance his way. “Why didn’t you just come up to the room?”
“You told me not to.”
Oh, right.
Why did Travis have to be so considerate? Sometimes she wished she could have feelings for him—but they just wouldn’t come. Instead, she had fallen for the worst possible guy for her. She hadn’t thought so that morning, but it didn’t take much to break something that was so new and fragile.
“What are you doing out here?” Travis finally asked.
Silence settled between them as Chloe tried to put words to all of the emotions that were fighting for attention. “Needed some space.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
It wasn’t just trouble, it was—Chloe didn’t even know what it was. Davis had said he felt like he was pretending. Maybe she had been too.
Her lifestyle wasn’t one where she could go to work while her husband went to his job, and then they reconvene and talk about their day over dinner. Her home was a giant tent that moved locations several times a year. And it wasn’t something she could just walk away from. Not after all she’d sacrificed just to get it going. Not after all the people she’d helped. If she tried, she’d always feel guilty about what she’d left behind—the people who were going to struggle more than necessary because she hadn’t been there to lend a helping hand.
As if reading her thoughts, Travis said, “You can’t save the world by yourself.”
Chloe released a shaky laugh. “But is it wrong to try?” She pushed herself up so that she sat on the edge of the chair. “Besides, I have you. And the volunteers. I’m not a one-woman show.”
Travis ran a hand through his hair, like he was nervous. He had something to say that she wasn’t going to like. “About that. I’ve been thinking…maybe it’s time for me to move on.”
Chloe’s gaze snapped up. “What do you mean? You’re…quitting?” Travis had been by her side from the beginning. He was the only employee on her payroll and not someone she could easily replace.
“You never think about settling down?” he asked, his own gaze on the ground. “Building a life of your own?”
“Not since founding Building on Hope. This is my life. I thought it was yours too. What we do—we’re making a difference that we can’t anywhere else. What we do means something.” Chloe’s voice was rising, the passion of each word giving way to panic.
“It does mean something,” Travis said, slowly raising his head until his gaze met hers. “But so do other things. Like having a family. Friendships. Community. Those are all things that I’ve had to give up—things I can never have if I stay with Building on Hope.” He paused, an expression of a different kind of anguish passing over his features. “For a while there I thought I could have both—a life of my own and staying here.” He raised a meaningful eyebrow, like she should know what he was talking about.
Chloe folded her arms across her chest. “You’re leaving because…I wouldn’t go on a date with you?”
Travis blew out a hard breath and braced his arms against his knees. “Really? You think I’d leave because you turned me down for a date?” He shook his head. “I’ve loved you for the past six years, Chloe. From the first day we worked together. I thought that you’d eventually feel the same way about me too. We could raise our little builders together—this would be our life.” Travis stood and took a step toward the pool. “But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t wait around any longer, wondering if you’ll ever see in me what I see in you.”
If Travis had punched Chloe in the stomach, it wouldn’t have felt any different. “But you’ve always run around with volunteers or girls from town or—”
“I know,” Travis interrupted. “But a man can only take so much rejection and can be alone for only so long. I masked the pain I felt. That’s on me. I’m not trying to blame you for anything. Just trying to help you understand why I can’t stay.”
Chloe was numb. Couldn’t feel her hands, her legs. Couldn’t move. Just stared at the ground, speechless. Her mind was spinning, but it didn’t know which thoughts to land on. Everything jumbled in a ball of confusion. One of her best friends in the world, and someone she relied on, was leaving. Because of her.
It wasn’t her fault, though. Or was it? Could she have handled things differently? Could she have paid closer attention, noticed when he was hurting? Noticed that she’d asked him to give up everything for her? And then she’d given nothing in return except a paycheck, and a lousy one at that.
“I better get going,” Travis finally said, his voice quiet. “I’m catching a flight in the morning to Bangkok.”
“And then from there?” She forced herself to look at him.
“Not sure. I might head over to England for a while. Maybe Germany. Travel a bit while I figure out what I want.” Travis met her gaze and held it for a few seconds before turning away.
“I’m sorry.” The words burst from her lips. “For not being what you needed—for not giving what you deserved.”
He glanced over his shoulder and threw a sad smile her way. “Don’t feel bad about it. Maybe it’s better this way.” His gaze wandered to the hotel that loomed above them. “And who knows, maybe you already found your new number two.”
Chloe’s gaze followed Travis’s to the second floor. “I don’t think so. You’re not the only one this evening who has told me he plans on running far away from me.” She paused. “He said we’d only been playing make-believe.”
“I understand the feeling. Which tells me what he really wishes is that it was real.”
And then Travis walked away. For the last time. Never looking back. He was closing this chapter of this life and searching for a new one.
Chloe stayed on that pool chair all night, but not sleeping. Could she do what Travis had done? Turn her back and walk away from it all? Her only employee had managed to do it without a thread of regret. Sure, Chloe had helped many people over the years. But was her ego so big that she thought she was irreplaceable? The Thai people had survived without her long before she ever arrived on the scene.
Never mind that her closest friends and deepest relationships had been established as she’d worked and sweated alongside people like Pii Beun. And that she felt more at home in Thailand than she ever had on the other side of the world.
But Travis was right. She couldn’t save the world by herself. And now that he’d left, she was exactly that—alone.
That one word kept hitting her, like a leaky faucet dripping water, constantly beating against the same spot on her forehead.
Alone. Alone. Alone.
* * *
Chloe jerked awake.
Davis knelt over her, obvious relief in his expression when her eyes opened. “Oh, thank goodness. If I’d known how to call the Thai police, I would have already.” He wrapped Chloe in his arms.
She tried to make sense of what was happening. And then last night came rushing back. The excitement she’d felt when she had thought of Davis staying. And him rejecting her. Telling her it could never happen.
And then discovering she’d done the same to Travis.
And it sucked. All of it. Why would she ever want a life outside her organization, when this was what her life comprised?
Suckiness.
Better to contribute to someone else’s life being better. Because she’d found that the more she sacrificed for her Thai friends, the better her life was. That was all she needed. Not this drama. Not any of the stuff men had brought into her life in the name of romance.
“No,” she said, scooting backward out of Davis’s arms. “No. You don’t get to tell me how worried you were and how much you love me
and how you were wrong to have spoken to me like that last night. You don’t get to say any of it.”
Davis stared, not trying to stop her. “I didn’t say any of that. Well, except the worried part.”
But he had been going to, hadn’t he?
By his expression, he hadn’t. Great.
“Never mind,” Chloe muttered. And then she stalked off, not turning back so he wouldn’t see the tears that had filled her eyes.
She didn’t want to love Davis. A man she’d known less than two weeks. And who was as infuriating as he was compassionate. Who was as sensitive as he was attractive. And who she had been able to picture herself with for the rest of her life. Because even though the man couldn’t handle loud noises or crowds or weird smells or bright lights—he was the kind of man who would warm up her eggs every thirty minutes until she woke up, just to make sure she had a hot breakfast.
And he didn’t want her.
23
Davis knew he had ruined things. And no words were going to fix that. But he couldn’t leave Thailand with things as they were. Because Chloe thought he didn’t love her. That he didn’t need her. That Davis could fly back across the ocean and not regret it every single moment.
Like he’d been regretting his words since she’d left their hotel room the night before.
This morning Chloe had demanded he not tell her of his regrets. Told him not to declare his love. So he hadn’t.
Davis saw now that that had been a mistake.
He glanced at his phone. His parents should be arriving in the next couple of hours.
No, words couldn’t fix things—he’d never been very good with those anyway. Obviously. His current situation was evidence of that.
Davis was more a man of action. He showed he cared about someone by repairing something for them. Or by giving up a hardware store to be with the woman he loved.
And by Chloe’s own admission, she loved him too.
Which meant he had work to do.
Davis ran out to meet the tuk-tuk the moment it skidded around the corner, his parents and brothers clinging on to both the vehicle and their luggage.
“You brought the clothes?” he asked as his brothers stumbled out with their suitcases.
“And a hello to you too,” Will said, grinning, his face red from the heat of the day. “You could have just borrowed some of my and Randy’s clothes, you know. We wouldn’t have minded.”
Davis smirked. “Where’s the fun in that?” It was then that he noticed his brothers were soaking wet, as was the tuk-tuk. “Songkran?”
“Songkran,” Randy said, stepping out beside his brother. He looked Davis up and down, as if surveying him. “You know, you seem awfully dry for this time of year. Too dry.”
Davis knew from experience that he wouldn’t last that way for much longer if his brothers had anything to say about it. “Trust me, I know. But that’s going to change pretty quick. I need to go into town for some hardware and wondered if after you guys got checked in, you would want to come with.”
Will and Randy exchanged curious looks, as their mom came up from behind with her own suitcase. “Why don’t you help me get all this up to our rooms first?”
Will was still looking Davis up and down as if trying to figure out what his brother was up to. “You find a squeaky door in the hotel or something?”
“Something like that.” The fewer details his brothers knew, the better. At least, for now. “Oh, and keep your eyes open for stores selling water guns. I could use a couple dozen.”
Will and Randy no longer eyed their brother with suspicion, no longer caring what he was up to, as long as they could hose someone down. No wonder this was their favorite time of year.
As Davis discovered an hour later, visiting a Thai hardware store wasn’t exactly the same experience as an American one. They had all the same supplies, except the store was open in the front, no doors to walk through. No air conditioning except the fans strategically placed along the aisles. And that was just the beginning of the challenges of shopping in a foreign country.
Everything was packaged differently, and Davis had a difficult time finding what he needed. In the end, it was a good thing Will and Randy had come along. It turned out that their Thai wasn’t half bad, and they were able to help him find everything plus several water guns and buckets.
“So, who do we get to spray down?” Randy asked, cocking one of the guns like he was ready to attack the first person he saw plus everyone else in a hundred-yard radius.
“They aren’t for you,” Davis said, unable to resist smiling at his brothers’ shocked expressions.
“You said they were for Songkran. You tricked us. How could you betray us like that?” Will pantomimed being stabbed in the heart, then fell to the dirt just outside the hardware store.
“I promise you’ll have the chance. But not right now. We have work to do first.”
“On our vacation?” Randy protested. He turned to his twin. “I told you we should have stayed in Chiang Mai.”
That gave Davis pause. “You didn’t want to come up here?”
Both boys looked at the ground, their ears turning red. They hadn’t wanted Davis to know. “It’s just…this is what you like to do. Work. And we were kind of looking forward to relaxing for a few days before moving to our next site,” Will admitted.
Davis wondered if this was the real reason they’d never come home to visit him in Starlight Ridge. Because they’d fly halfway around the world to work alongside their brother. Which apparently wasn’t on a teenager’s list of favorite things to do.
“Look, there are a couple of things I need to do today. But Songkran lasts longer up here in the north, right? That means tomorrow is all about fun.” He glanced between his brothers, hoping they’d see the big picture, even if they didn’t understand it.
“You don’t need to fix the hotel’s fixtures. It’s not your job,” Randy protested once more, obviously hoping he could change his brother’s mind about putting them to work the moment they’d arrived in town.
“This has nothing to do with the hotel.” Davis paused, wondering how much to tell the twins. They weren’t exactly known for being able to keep a secret. “What if I told you that my life depends on it?”
Will raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re going to keel over and die if you don’t fix something today? That’s a little extreme, even for you.”
Davis laughed and shook his head. “No, I mean, my life life. I need to prove to someone that I’m not going anywhere—that I’m here to stay.”
“Like, you wouldn’t be going back to Starlight Ridge?” Randy asked, his words slow and calculated.
“No.”
Will caught on quicker than his brother. He laughed. “I never thought I’d see the day you’d actually like a girl, but I have to say, you chose well.”
“Woman,” Davis corrected. “And I was actually engaged once a couple of years ago. I’ll have to tell you the story sometime.” He expected the usual pangs of guilt and pain to attack him as he thought of Bridgette, but they didn’t come. Instead he felt gratitude that he’d had her in his life for even the short time he had.
“So, what did you have in mind?” Will asked.
Davis clapped his hands together. “Have either of you ever built a boat?”
24
Chloe’s gaze rested on anywhere but Kara. The hedges. The fountain. The vibrant flowers in full bloom. She’d avoided being alone with Kara since their family had arrived the previous day. Chloe wondered if Kara knew or suspected what had gone on between her and Davis.
“I hope my son didn’t give you too much trouble,” Kara said as they walked through the resort’s garden. “I know Davis can be particular about things, but he has a good heart.”
And there it was. Chloe had hoped she could avoid the topic of Davis, at least for a few minutes. There were so many other topics of conversation. Like how the bus ride had been. The weather. All sorts of exciting stuff.
“Yes, he does,” Chloe said, trying to make it sound as natural as possible. Like she hadn’t felt the beating of that heart as he’d held her close late into the night. “And it was no trouble at all. Travis actually got Davis hooked on roti and tuk-tuks, so he’s practically Thai already.”
“That’s impressive.” A pause. “So, Travis is here?” Kara said it casually enough, but Chloe could have sworn that there was a layer of disappointment hidden in there. Like Kara had hoped it had just been Chloe and Davis the whole time. Alone.
Maybe Davis hadn’t been wrong about his parents trying to set them up.
“He left this morning for Bangkok. But he took Davis on a tour of the city a few days ago. Helped him get a lay of the land.” More like traumatized him.
“That’s nice.” Another pause. “Were you and Davis able to spend much time together?”
Okay, now Kara wasn’t even trying to be subtle. Her gaze was piercing. And Chloe wanted to shrink under it.
“We took a boat out to an elephant sanctuary a couple days ago, so that was pretty cool.”
Kara looked like she wanted to press for more details but was interrupted by the twins, who came running around the bend.
“Finally,” Will said, bending over and panting.
Randy called over his shoulder, “Found her!” Though who he was calling to, Chloe couldn’t see. Probably Rick.
Will’s breathing slowed, and he straightened. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“I told your dad that I was going on a walk,” Kara said with a small laugh. It held exasperation, like this wasn’t the first time they’d done this.
Randy nodded. “Oh, we know. We weren’t talking about you.” He turned to face Chloe. “There’s this guy at the river who needs to talk to you.”
Kara raised an eyebrow. “You having a fling with a river guide?”
“No,” Chloe said slowly, warning bells immediately going off. “But there was a man named Somsak who took us out in his boat. Nice guy. I hope nothing’s wrong.” She began to walk quickly toward the river before realizing she’d just abandoned Kara. “Sorry. Can I meet up with you for lunch?”
Building on Love Page 16