Fuck me.
Reschedule for noon, then. I can’t see him right now.
But the call was already cut. Kada had left, thankfully, and my eyes rose to the sound of incoming voices. Angry voices.
The door exploded open, revealing my secretary and brother-in-law engaged in a screaming match. I stood, startled.
“The Regent is not seeing anyone!” my secretary exclaimed, looking to me for help.
“You!” Roen shouted, pointing in my general direction. She was right, he was loaded. “I have words to say to you, you coward! You coward!”
“Leave us,” I said to my secretary. “Close the door.”
Once alone, Roen composed himself. Or tried to.
He was a wreck. Red-faced with eyes so bloodshot that they almost matched his tie, which looked like it had been tied around his collar by a child. Clearly he had been drinking for a long while, and it was only eight in the morning.
Roen moved to sit, but lurched and vomited all over my floor instead.
“Oh, Maghir!” I exclaimed, unable to believe my eyes. “What the fuck—!?”
“How could you?” he slurred, heavy-breathed. “Those monsters butchered your sister and all’s forgiven? You told our people that the alliance is everlasting?”
My anger waned. I sank back into my seat, saying nothing.
“They raped and tortured my wife—your sister—and you’re not going to do anything about it?”
“Sit down.”
“I believed in you. I always thought you were different than the other bureaucratic sifts, but I was wrong. You’d let the angels get away with this.”
“Sit down,” I repeated, this time through my teeth.
“You’re a coward,” Roen hissed, deaf to my demand. Evidently he had no desire to listen to reason and had only come here to say his piece.
He was wrong. I was different than the other suits, but my plans were well beyond his trust. Technically Roen wasn’t even family anymore. All the better; I never liked him much anyway.
There was a pen resting beside a stack of folders to which I had yet to attend. I grabbed it. My estranged brother-in-law was too far gone to acknowledge the warning in my eyes.
“They’ve taken everything from me,” he went on, spitting his disgust. “And now they’re off scot-free while I’m left to rot.”
The pen shook in my hand.
“And her own brother, the only man with any power in this Maghir-forsaken city, sits behind his desk and assures us of peace. You didn’t love her at all, did you? You heartless fuck, you didn’t love her at all!”
I lunged over the desk and grabbed Roen by his poor excuse for a tie. He fell forward and I jammed my pen through his eye. A scream channeled from his mouth as watery blood streamed down his face, but I pulled his tie tighter, cutting off his wind. Even tighter and he was inches from my face.
“Tae will be avenged,” I whispered. “But you will never see that day.”
I dislodged the pen and threw him through the window. Glass exploded as he fell, and I surveyed his hundred story plummet. Roen’s body hit the port like a water balloon; all that was left was a giant red stain across white cement.
I pocketed the pen as the door opened. My secretary stared at me with wide, frightened eyes, having heard the commotion from her desk. I mimicked her look.
“Regent, what happened?!”
I held my head, grief-stricken. “He… h-he jumped.”
XIV
GOOD INTENTIONS
“AND THEN HE JUMPED?” Ara asked, wide-eyed.
I nodded solemnly, trying not to meet his gaze.
We were sitting in his home at Upper Sanctum Gardens, a three-estate terrace that overlooked the Agora. It was the early afternoon, and I’d been here since the authorities had closed my office for investigation. Ara took the rest of the day off as his men scraped Roen from the port and staved off Sanctum PB. Rumors were already spreading and the media had identified the body, despite our best efforts to conceal any information.
Roen’s suicide rekindled my sister’s death, which swept like wildfire across every station throughout the city. I was already thinking of the statement that I’d have to make. Sometimes I just wanted to curl up under a rock and disappear forever.
We ate take-away lunch while I told him what had happened. Well, I told him what I wanted him to think happened. I left out the part about stabbing Roen in the face and tossing him out the window. The rest was true, though.
My brother shook his head, looking over the balcony. “That’s fucked up. Couldn’t swallow the grief, I guess. Ila’s invited him over for dinner a thousand times since…” He paused, shaking his head again. Ara never spoke of Tae’s murder. “And he always brushed us off. According to my men, Ro was removed from chair three days ago. Director said he was hostile and withdrawn, and he couldn’t sympathize any longer. My guess is he’s been binge drinking and stewing ever since.”
“He didn’t like my statement.”
“Clearly.”
I took a sip of wine, glancing over the gray wash of Sanctum’s city-scape. To be fair, I hadn’t liked my statement either. But Roen’s hostility had come as a surprise, as I’d assumed continued peace with the angels was what everyone wanted. How many others wished for vengeance in my sister’s name? Not Ara, painfully enough, yet knowing at least someone felt the same way as me made the ice melt a bit.
It was a shame Roen had been so weak and useless. I’d regretted killing him after the anger faded, but it didn’t ruin me. Little could these days.
“Have you talked to Leid yet?”
I shook my head. “She probably hasn’t even seen the news; she’s instructing classes all day.”
“Shouldn’t you call her?”
“And ruin her day as well?”
“Yeah, good point.”
We sipped our drinks in silence. The wind blew our lunch wrappers across the table, and Ara caught them before they were swept off the balcony. “It’s going to rain again,” he said, looking at the sky. “This winter’s been mild.”
I didn’t reply, huddling into my coat. Winter was mild, but I was still freezing my ass off. “I should go. I need to get a statement ready.”
“I don’t envy you,” he said. “Every time something happens, you have to tell the world about it.”
I smiled, sadly. “I don’t know how Dad did it.”
“I don’t know how you do it.”
I didn’t. Ninety percent of what I said in front of the cameras was a lie. Spin was advantageous, if you knew how to play it. I stood from the table and patted Ara on the shoulder. “I’ll call you later.”
***
Leid was remarkably stoic after I’d told her the news at dinner. At least I thought so, until she slipped away and played her cello in the music room for the rest of the night. Her songs were sadder than usual.
I sat there listening as I crafted my statement, the cadence influencing my script. It took much longer than usual because I kept accidentally writing truth in what needed to be a total lie.
Well past bedtime, Leid hadn’t returned. The music kept flowing and it was driving me insane. I didn’t like it when my wife was upset, and I couldn’t go to sleep knowing that she was. I headed to the music room to fetch her, but right before I entered, her cello stopped.
She gazed at me from the doorway, somber, listless. Sweat dripped from her temples and her pale ivory blouse was soaked. I stared at her, concerned.
Before I could say anything she set her cello aside and rose from the stool, walking slowly toward me. Leid placed a hand against my chest and lifted her chin, looking me in the eyes. The lights overhead cast a glimmer in her gaze. I couldn’t read her thoughts.
“I want to see your wings,” she said.
“Not here.”
“Then somewhere else.”
She led me to the port, all the while I wondered what was going through her mind. Leid was spontaneous—such a random request wasn’t unusual,
but somehow her spontaneity still managed to catch me off guard every time.
The port was vacant, and had been ever since Eroqam dissolved its military wing. Once there, Leid stepped back and waited.
“I’m not wearing flight clothes,” I protested, suddenly feeling vulnerable. The fact that she could still make me feel like this was stunning.
“Then take them off.”
I arched my brows. “What?”
“Take off your clothes.”
“… What are you doing?”
“I want to see your wings.”
I sighed, removing my shirt. Once Leid got an idea into her head, there was no stopping her. I’d learned that the hard way.
My shoulders flexed and my wings slid from their membranes—tiny slits beside each shoulder blade. They quivered, shaking off viscera, and then spread to full breadth. Each wing was seven feet long, which was why I couldn’t release them in most areas of our estate. In fact I couldn’t remember the last time I’d released them at all. Progress had diminished our need of them, what with crafts and close-quarter living. Once upon a time we were savages with sticks and rocks, hunting game by spears and wings.
Leid re-approached, looking on at my wings in awe. She reached up and ran her fingers across the edges, making me shudder. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen them,” she murmured. “They’re beautiful. Godly.”
I said nothing, watching her. She had always been tiny, but seemed even tinier now with my wings fully spread. She looked at me with child-like wonder, and for a second I pictured her eyes black. But they never turned black. They stayed beautifully violet.
And then everything hit me at once; Calenus’ threat, Tae’s murder, Roen’s suicide, my plans for the peace ceremony…
I wanted none of this. I would have given anything, anything, to return to the days where all we had done was worked, played music, drank wine, and then ravaged each other ‘til the early morning.
But those days were gone. Such a harrowing truth.
Leid furrowed her brows, reaching for my face. “Qaira?”
I looked away, choking back tears. She thought I was crying for Roen, and I let her. She pressed her cheek to my chest, tracing the ink across my stomach. The soft, methodical feel of her finger settled my tumult. My breathing slowed, steadied.
She was still everything to me. In all this chaos, I had forgotten how much I loved her.
I couldn’t lose her. Not her.
My wings folded around Leid, and she kept me warm in the cold, quiet darkness.
XV
EQUAL FIRE
MY SISTER WAS STALKING ME.
Tae appeared within every window and mirror, looking more grotesque and feral each time. Yet her charge was always the same: vengeance.
It’d grown so terrifying that I avoided my reflection at all costs. I had no idea what I even looked like today, because I’d gotten ready for work without a mirror. My only hope was that as soon as Raith was dead, Tae could finally rest in peace.
I had also entertained the thought that I was going crazy, but, really, that was irrelevant; even if that were true, my temporary slip of insanity should be cured if I appeased that sick part of my mind. Either way, Lucifer had to die.
Kada and his team of engineers were working on setting the explosives at Yema Theater. I had cleared a spot there all morning, informing Ila that we were closing it for refurnishing. That was happening too, but later today.
Meanwhile I spent the morning in my office, dealing with meetings and other routine projects. Business as usual.
I’d noticed Leid had set tulan steaks out to thaw before she left for work, and I checked my calendar as soon as I got in, making sure I wasn’t forgetting a special occasion. Leid never made anything other than leriza, except on special occasions like my birthday, our anniversary, etc. But as far as I could tell, this wasn’t a special occasion. The mystery surrounding those steaks haunted me all morning.
Two representatives from the Board of Commerce just left my office, and I was preparing to crack down on a stack of budget proposals and business projections that had grown taller by the hour. As I reached for my pen, my Aeon chimed.
I stared at it, fantasizing about smashing it to little pieces. Instead I answered the call.
Yes?
Regent, Commander Raith is on wave four, he says it’s urgent.
Fantastic.
Alright, connect me through.
My mind grew fuzzy for a second. I hated transferring lines on Aeon. I’d had a constant migraine the first week it was installed.
Good morning, Regent. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?
…Nope.
Swell, because I’m en route to Sanctum as we speak.
I almost exploded out of my chair. What?
Your peace ceremony has gotten me excited. I’d like to see the venue, if you don’t mind.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
It’s closed for refurnishing this morning, I said, floundering. Can we reschedule?
Just the same, I wouldn’t mind seeing the progress. I’m already in Moritoria so it would be a shame to have to turn around.
This wasn’t about him wanting to see Yema out of excitement. He was coming here to inspect it. This was an ambush.
My heart fluttered as I glanced at my watch. Twenty minutes. I had twenty minutes to warn Kada and his team to get those explosives out of there. That wouldn’t be enough time.
You’re impeding on my lunch, so why don’t we eat somewhere first?
Lucifer hesitated. Sure. Where do you have in mind?
We’ll talk about that when you get here. You should have warned me you were coming. It’s unceremonious to make me drop everything. That’s what my schedule is for.
Again, I’m sorry.
He offered no explanation for the ambush, which only steeled my suspicion.
I’ll make an exception just this once. See you soon.
***
Feigning innocence was a lot easier over telecomm or Aeon than in person.
I watched Lucifer mull over menu selections with a stony gaze. It was like eating out with Leid all over again.
Surprisingly we had only gotten a few looks at Koraez. None of the customers saw us, because surely the sight of the angel commander and their Nehelian Regent would bring Sanctum PB here in a heartbeat. Instead we were led in through the back door, having warned the restaurant prior to our arrival, and were seated in a closed off area usually reserved for special engagements.
Even so, I figured one of the staff would leak the information to PB eventually. I gave it an hour. It would be good publicity nonetheless, considering it looked like Lucifer and I were friendly again.
Commander Raith was dressed in all black, which was rare. It made him seem even paler, his hair even whiter. The dim lights muted his eyes, erasing his irises. He looked like a statue carved from ivory.
When he finally decided, the server took our menus and we reclined, watching each other. Neither of us knew what to say. In the ten years of our alliance, never once did we have lunch together.
“I heard about Tae’s husband,” he said. “A tragedy. I’m sorry.”
I nodded. “Have you thought about any Archaean events for the peace ceremony?”
Raith hesitated, no doubt wondering why I’d tried to change the subject. “Not yet, no. That’s part of why I’m here. I want to see what we’re working with before I make any plans.”
A better excuse, but still weak.
I glanced at my watch again. After I’d gotten off Aeon with Lucifer, I’d called Yema Theater and warned Kada to take the explosives and vacate the premises. I would have to make another excuse to close Yema at a later time to finish ‘setting up’. Frustrating, but better that than Lucifer finding out. Hopefully Kada had enough sense to call me once they were gone.
“Yahweh was very happy to hear the news. He’s insisted on coming to the peace ceremony, too.”
That bit of inf
ormation almost cracked my façade.
Lucifer paused, studying my face.
“Good,” I said, evenly. “He always enjoyed boring, diplomatic crap.”
He smiled, stirring coffee. “I take it you’re not anticipating the ceremony?”
“I never anticipate public speaking events.”
“You chose the wrong line of work, then.”
“I didn’t choose it.”
“Ah, yes. I keep forgetting Sanctum is a monarchy.”
“Not really.”
“No?”
“The chairs of each division are elected by the people, along with the officials that oversee each district. The only thing they can’t vote on is Eltruan rule.”
“Half monarchy, half democracy.” Lucifer rubbed his chin. “Strange.”
I shrugged. “Thousands of years ago, an influential priest decided that our family was chosen by Maghir to lead our people. Not much has changed since.”
The server brought our food. When he left, Lucifer said, “Aren’t you devout?”
“Faith is a catalyst of power. I already have power.”
“Mm,” he said, glancing away. “Do you want it?”
“… Want what?”
“Power.”
I said nothing, confused.
“Would you have taken the throne, given a choice?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but then paused, thinking about that. The involuntary response was yes, though truthfully I wasn’t sure. Nearly every ill thing that had ever happened to me was directly related to who I was. My title.
I decided to leave that question up in the air. “Is the food to your liking?”
Lucifer studied his plate, chewing. “Your food has a lot of flavor.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is when my lips are still burning an hour after my meal.”
I smirked. “Can’t take the heat?”
“I’ll live.”
My Aeon chimed. Kada had sent me a cryptic message stating that Yema was clear.
Lucifer tilted his head. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled. “Just my secretary.”
The Antithesis- The Complete Pentalogy Page 57