by DK Andrews
of the puzzle. I rush around the side of the building, yelling over to Nicole, “I’ll be right back!”
“Where are you going?” Nicole calls back.
“I’m just going to walk around back!”
I can tell from the quiver in Nicole’s voice that she’s nervous. She warns, “The session might be over soon!”
She’s right, of course, the session would be ending soon, but I’ve still got a little more time.
I walk around the building and try a door at the back, but it, too, is locked. Looking around, I notice a narrow path through the grass, which leads to a group of buildings that are about a kilometer away. I’m intrigued, so I make my way there. Architecturally, the buildings combine the old and new, while blending seamlessly with the green spaces and the river winding around them. The trees and flowers are in full bloom.
There is a blue sign on one of the modernist buildings that reads, FACULTY OF SCIENCE UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY.
I’ve not been on a proper University campus before, and I’m drawn to stroll around. I’ve only ever experienced college life through the movies. I knew from the beginning that I would never go to college. Gloria would never have let me succeed. I see a few students walking around with their books. I wave at them, but they just pass me by as if I do not exist. I don’t care that they don’t see me, I’m just dreaming out here anyway, at how my life could have been. I imagine myself studying science in this cool-looking building. I graduate and succeed. These students are my friends.
I keep waving at them, enjoying my fantasy. Forget Gloria, forget the Conversion, forget Ultima. I’m going to be successful! For a split second, with my soul and heart, I believe my fantasy is a reality; I smile and jump.“Hi guys! How are you doing?” I ask random people. “See you in class!”
This continues until I notice one student, who doesn’t seem to ignore me. I see his eyes, his face—I know I’m not alone. His eyes glare coldly at me, and it is terribly uncomfortable.
I lose my concentration, my grip will soon follow. And then, I feel it, that tingling in my head. I know the end of the session is approaching. I don’t want to go, not right now. How will I see Nicole and Sophie again? Where will we meet? What about this student? I must see him again because he sees me.
My vision goes blurry, and I feel a sudden silence wash over me.
When I open my eyes, I’m back in the bed at Ultima with the helmet on. The blue light inside the helmet hurts my eyes. I feel for a moment the urge to inform Dr. Kismen about everything that is happening when I’m plugged into Mentior. To tell her about Nicole, Sophie, and the student. After all, what if it’s effecting the Conversion? Surely I’ve discovered a glitch. But, of course, if the glitch is fixed then I will have to go back to my awful memories, to relive them without any hope of running away. I certainly don’t want that.
“You have a question?” Dr. Kismen asks while taking off the helmet.
“No,” I reply, hesitantly.“Why do you ask?”
“You look baffled, is all; I thought maybe you wanted to ask me something.”
“Well, actually,” I say, almost without meaning to, “I do.”My stomach feels tight.
“What is it, Alina?”
I sit up, second-guessing whether I should tell her. I take a few panicked breaths.
“Don’t be shy, what is it?” she presses.
I can’t do it. I really don’t want to revisit my memories anymore.“I was just wondering how the process is going. Someone monitors it, isn’t that right?””
I experience a sudden flashback of the student’s face, and for a moment, it paralyzes me before I hear Dr. Kismen’s chipper voice.
“Absolutely! Everything is going as planned.”She nods toward the door as if to move me along. “Are you worried about the Conversion not being successful?”
I put my sneakers on, and rush out, mumbling, “Yes, I’m worried.”
“Don’t be, the process is going well, and soon we’ll be approaching the halfway mark.” She smiles broadly, and we head toward the elevator.
As we walk, I wonder about Nicole. I wish I could see her right now and confirm where we might meet tomorrow. The Novus Center would make sense; I hope she will be there.
I realize suddenly that she’s probably in the building somewhere, right now. But which floor?
“Dr. Kismen, what floor are the participants on? You know, the ones staying at Ultima full time during Conversion?”
“What’s going on?” she asks. “Is everything all right? Why are you asking?”
I realize the question had made her suspicious and I need to cover my tracks.“Oh, I was only curious. It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m not in a position to answer that question anyway. It’s confidential.”
She plays with a stack of plastic cards in her hands and seems strangely nervous. I drop the matter, say goodbye to Dr. Kismen and walk out.
On the way to Christina’s house, I try to absorb and process everything that came up in the day’s session: Nicole is a Dator like me—she sold her life. She’s staying at Ultima full-time, hence the lack of a bracelet on her wrist. I won’t be able to see her unless I’m plugged in. We’ve met Sophie, who vaguely explained to us how she ended up at Fantasy World; she is also staying at Novus Center, and that’s the place where people receive lives. It’s likely me who’s giving her life since I have the longest life span. But why is she plugged into the Mentior? Do Receivers go through their own preparation process? As Dators, we relive our painful memories; maybe Receivers go through some sort of “happy preparation process,” where a comfortable, cozy, attractive environment is created for a new life energy or soul to get easily attached.
It’s all so very confusing, and hard to comprehend.
What about that gaze from the student? Who is he? A Dator? A Receiver? Someone that maybe my mind created?
“You are awfully quiet tonight,” Christina says to me. She definitely woke me from my daydream. I haven’t even touched my food or spoken to Micah yet.
“I’m sorry, guys, there’s just a lot on my mind.” I pick up my fork and notice that my hands are trembling. Will I see Sophie and Nicole tomorrow? Will I see the student again? Whose life is Sophie receiving? Mine? Am I going to cross paths with more Dators?
“Alina, are you there?” Christina asks as she gently touches my forearm.“I’ve been asking how your interview went. Did you get the job?”
I realize I’ve totally tuned out.“I’m sorry?” I have to forget about Mentior, I’m here now with Micah and my new-found family. I need to learn to live in the present.
“I just wondered if you got the job,” Christina slowly repeats, concerned.
“Oh,” I say, trying to remember the story I told her,“ at the Ground Control, you mean?”
“Yes, isn’t that where your interview was today?”
“Right, of course.” I try to hide my eyes from Christina.“I don’t think I got the job.”
“Well, you never know,” she says patting my hand. “Don’t lose hope.”
“I won’t,” I say, knowing full well I’ve all but lost it already.“I will keep applying for other jobs. Thank you so much for your support.” I will never be able to repay her for everything she’s done for us in such a short time.
“You know what might help?” she said with a smile.
“What?”
“Maybe we can update your outfit a little?”
She winks at me and smiles.
It’s true, I’ve been wearing the same clothes for the past three days, only changing my underwear. “I, I don’t really have anything else,” I reply, looking down at my clothes.
“I do, though. I can lend you some if you’d like. I’m pretty sure we’re the same size.”
“I don’t know,” I say, as always, filled with guilt in the face of her generosity.
“Come on,” she pushed. “It will definitely help with your job hunt. Trust me!”
“All right,” I agree. I
can’t control my mouth from smiling at the thought.
“Excellent! After dinner, we can try on a few things. It’s decided.”
As promised, after dinner, while the boys play, we explore Christina’s closet. Her bedroom is neatly arranged, everything has its own place. I look over at the king-size bed and get a little jealous. I wonder how it feels to have so much space. If I had a bed this size, I would stretch out like a starfish every night.
Nicole has a beautiful picture of a yellow flower hanging over the headboard. It looks like someone is holding it in their hand, and you can see a blurry vision of skyscrapers in the background.
“Do you like the bedroom?” Christina asks.
“I do. That bed looks pretty comfortable!”
“I got it from a friend. And my husband built this closet. What do you think of the picture?” she asks, pointing to the wall.
“It’s lovely.”
“I took it in Canada, where we went for our honeymoon. Some good memories there…”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Alright,” she said, getting down to business, “let’s see what we have here. We don’t want you to look too professional, or they might think you are overqualified.” She opens up her walk-in closet.“How about this one?” Christina reaches out for beautiful chiffon yellow dress with lace straps. “It should fall just above your knees. It will look modest yet elegant.” She hands it to me and walks toward the door. “You should try it. I’ll give you some privacy, and go check up on Bennett and Micah.”
When the door closes, I put on the dress. I love the belted waist—it sits on my torso