This was a celebration of their success, and it was great being able to see this side of Jackson. Things took a fun and silly turn as Ellen’s husband tossed her into the pool, and Jackson grabbed Noah and heaved him in after her.
He broke the surface laughing, just to have Jackson practically land on him, splashing him and wrapping himself around Noah like a koala on a tree.
One of the other teachers broke out her cell phone and was taking pictures, and apparently video, while she held a wine cooler in her other hand.
“Who’s your hunky guy, Jackson?” she asked.
He kissed Noah, temporarily obliterating Noah’s ability to think, much less worry about who was watching. “This is my guy, Noah. My fiancé.” His gaze burned into Noah’s. “The man whose hand I will be putting a ring on.”
That was met with happy cheers and everyone starting to chant, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
Jackson grinned and kissed him again, tightening the grip he currently had around Noah’s waist with his legs and grinding against him.
Noah’s hands held Jackson’s ass, squeezing, hoping the water was hiding most of their brief grope.
When they ended their kiss to more loud and raucous cheers, Ellen, who’d made it to the pool’s edge, held up the wine cooler her husband had put into her hand.
“A toast! To Jackson, for all his hard work and making Sorrellson’s expansion a reality, and may he and Noah have many happy years together!”
More cheers, and another kiss. Finally, Jackson released him, taking him by the hand and leading him to the shallow end, where they lounged and talked with Jackson’s arm draped around Noah’s shoulders.
If this was a glimpse of the life that awaited him, he knew he’d happily take anything his family dished out, and more.
Because he’d never felt so peaceful as he did at that moment.
* * * *
Over the next six weeks, Noah’s certainty grew that, yeah, this was his life now. Jackson was his life.
Jackson had even met Noah at dinner with some of Noah’s coworkers one night, and Noah had survived it with little more than a tiny bit of terror.
Jackson had taken him home after that and made love to him until they’d both collapsed, exhausted and sated and happy.
He did notice Jackson always tended to reward bravery like that on his part.
Noah had been dodging his mother, too. Thursday night she even called twice but didn’t leave a message, so he didn’t bother calling her back. It was one of the rare nights that he and Jackson had stayed over at Noah’s apartment, but only because Noah had to be at work Friday morning at seven thirty due to a meeting he needed to be in no later than eight. They were both getting ready to leave Friday morning when someone knocked on Noah’s door.
Jackson was closer and answered it—
And it was with no small amount of horror Noah spotted his mother standing there, her lips pressed into a grim line.
“So it’s true, isn’t it?” She shoved past Jackson and had cornered Noah against his kitchen counter before he could even react. “You’re a damned homosexual! You’re going to Hell! You need to get down on your—”
“Whoa, lady!” Jackson said, shoving in between her and Noah and forcing her back a step. “Who the fuck are you to come in here with that bullshit!”
She tried to dodge around Jackson, but he kept his hands up and wouldn’t let her.
“Drop to your knees, sodomite!” she yelled around Jackson.
“Lady, the only person he’s dropping to his knees for is me, and if you don’t get the hell out of here, you’re leaving in handcuffs!”
Noah truly didn’t recognize his mother. She wore a wild, ghastly expression, her cheeks red, eyes wide as she finally seemed to focus on Jackson. “You’re the one in the video!” She shoved Jackson, but fortunately he had nearly a foot in height on her and didn’t budge. He also didn’t shove her back, for which Noah thought the man should get a cookie or a blowjob or something.
Noah finally found his voice. “Mom, get out of here!”
“You need to repent! You need to—”
“Mom, shut the fuck up!” He didn’t know who his scream surprised more, him or Jackson, but she did shut her trap. “I don’t know what video you’re talking about, but yeah, I’m gay. That’s why I divorced Meg. She lied to everyone to help me cover it up, because she knew you’d react like this.”
“I’m calling 911,” Jackson said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Not dealing with this bullshit, especially before coffee. Hope you have bail, honey, because you’re going to need it.”
Noah grabbed his hand and hoped he could stop this from escalating. “Mom, please, just leave.”
“I’m not leaving until you’ve repented and kicked this…this male whore to the curb!”
Anger flared in Jackson’s eyes. “Male whore? What do you think this is, Victorian London? Get a grip, sweetheart. The phrase you were looking for is ‘son-in-law.’”
“Not as long as I’m alive!” she screamed. “I’ll be in my grave first!”
“I will happily arrange that!” Jackson roared back, making her flinch from him. Jackson’s full-throttle anger startled Noah, too.
Noah managed to get between Jackson and his mom. He didn’t think she had a gun—they never had guns when he was growing up—but he had a feeling Jackson was ready to deck her.
Frankly, he wanted to deck her.
But right now, what Noah wanted even more was to get his mom the fuck out of the apartment so he could calm Jackson down and get to work. He couldn’t be late today.
“I didn’t believe it,” she said. “I didn’t want to believe it, but now everyone at my church knows my son is gay!”
He had managed to take Jackson’s phone away from him and herd his mother another two feet toward the still-open front door. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but good for them for being snoops.”
“It’s on Facebook. Loretta Calhoun’s sister works for Sorrellson Academy and was tagged in a Facebook video and pictures from a cookout. Loretta saw them yesterday. She spotted you and this…this—”
“Say it, lady!” Jackson roared over Noah’s left shoulder. “I dare you to say it!”
Okay, that was six fucking weeks ago, and it was just now getting around to his mom?
Maybe it would be easier to get Jackson out the door first, and then get his mom out.
“What, are you going to hit a woman?” she taunted. “As if someone like you could hit anyone! Come at me, and I’ll show you how a mother fights for her son’s eternal soul!”
Scratch that. Mom had to go first, because Noah was nearly ready to slap her.
He grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her around, and forcibly marched her out the door. “Go away, now, or I’ll let him call the cops.”
He slammed the door in her face and locked it, his pulse pounding in his temples, a sick headache threatening, and—
He turned and nearly screamed. Jackson stood right behind him and stepped forward, pinning him against the door.
“Phone,” Jackson ordered, holding out his hand.
Noah handed it over.
“What time is your lunch today?”
“Twelve, or when they break.”
“Go get me your passport, divorce papers, and birth certificate.”
“Wh-what?”
“NOW!” Jackson screamed.
That overrode the questions in Noah’s brain. He ducked around Jackson and bolted for the bedroom, where he kept the small, fireproof lockbox wrapped in a blanket and hidden inside a large cardboard box that had held boxes of tampons. No, not the safest hiding place, but he hoped if he was ever robbed it’d fool someone.
Fumbling the combination dials, he got it open and when he turned and stood, there was Jackson, waiting outside the closet. His face looked red, like he was about to start screaming again.
He held out his hand.
Without comment, Noah handed ove
r the documents.
Jackson leaned in. “If you run late, text me. Otherwise, I will be downstairs in my car and waiting for you at noon. Be there.”
On that, he turned, left the room, and Noah heard the front door slam shut a moment later.
He slumped onto the edge of the bed, adrenaline hitting him and making him tremble.
Fuck!
As he tried to gather his thoughts and process what had just happened, he shoved his mother out of his mind and focused on Jackson. He’d seen the man exhibit many emotions in their weeks together, but this was the first time he’d honestly felt…
Scared.
Not like he’d been in danger, but like a switch had flipped inside the man and he’d dropped into some sort of primal, ingrained response.
He knew there was something in Jackson’s past, because the man had alluded to it but never wanted to discuss it. Heartache that had ripped him apart.
Something he’d swore he’d never put himself through again.
Now, Noah felt torn between wanting to know what had hurt his man so much to have this kind of reaction…and wanting to swear to himself to never ask Jackson so he wouldn’t make the man mentally relive it. Because whatever it was to make Jackson act like this had to be…
Fuck.
* * * *
Noah’s mother and Jackson were both gone when Noah emerged from his apartment ten minutes later than he’d planned to leave. Fortunately, he only had to drive a couple of blocks.
At least work kept him busy and helped pull his mind off the confrontation. Noah prayed as the morning meeting droned on that they didn’t run late, and fortunately, they didn’t. He was standing downstairs at 11:58 when Jackson’s car wheeled into the parking lot.
Jackson didn’t speak when Noah climbed in. He didn’t ask where they were going, either. From the dark anger still visible on the other man’s face, Noah wasn’t even sure he wanted to know.
Hell, he didn’t even know why Jackson had asked him for that paperwork, but he spotted the items in the back seat.
But he trusted Jackson, even with this new wrinkle added. He loved him and trusted him, and if this ended badly…well, he’d deal with it then.
Until that happened, he would trust.
They reached their destination just minutes later, Jackson parking in the public garage across from the county courthouse. “Driver’s license,” Jackson said, holding out his hand.
Noah handed it over without question.
Twenty minutes later, they were stepping up to the county clerk’s desk. Jackson handed over all their paperwork, including his own driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate.
“Marriage license application, please,” he said.
Noah’s pulse galloped and he felt like every eye in the place was on them, but when he glanced around…no, it was just him.
Although if he started doing a happy dance he guessed that might earn him some weird looks.
Twenty minutes later, they were returning to Jackson’s car with the marriage license. They couldn’t get married for three days, though.
Ironic it took longer and more paperwork to get married than to buy a long gun in their state.
Jackson didn’t speak again until he pulled into a visitor spot outside the county admin building and shifted it into park. He looked out the windshield for a long moment before facing Noah.
“I want you to take this weekend to think,” Jackson quietly said. He reached over and took Noah’s hand, gently stroking his fingers, staring at their hands. “I love you. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I will not let those people treat you like that. But I legally don’t get a say right now. If you died tonight, they would have the ability to decide how you were buried and if I could even attend the funeral.”
A chill filled Noah as he contemplated the truth to that.
“So here it is,” Jackson said, his gaze swiveling up, locking on Noah’s. “Ultimatum time. I know who and what I want. You’ve been telling me you love me. Do you mean it?”
“Yes, Master. I love you.”
“Do you mean it for life?”
He squeezed Jackson’s hand. “I do.”
“I…I have never felt the level of anger that I did this morning,” he said. “Well, not never. Once before. What feels like a lifetime ago. But I never thought I ever would again. And it terrified me, because I legit came close to punching out an old lady. That would have ruined my life, my career.”
He took a deep breath. “Long story for another day, though. Let’s just say while I have damn good control, she stepped on every bad trigger I do have, all at the same time. We have seen each other every day since we got together.”
He squeezed Noah’s hand. “Every day. And we’ve slept together in the same bed every night. So I need you to take this weekend—alone, and no contact with me—to think. Monday at noon, I will be waiting for you here to go to the courthouse and get married. If you show up, that means you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with me, obeying me, and literally getting on your knees only for me. It means I have final say in keeping you safe—I don’t just mean physically, I also mean mentally and emotionally. That means I have final say in the contact you have with those people. Anything you want to add?”
Noah swallowed hard, pain filling him. “No contact this weekend?” That honestly left him feeling…lost. His life outside of work now revolved around Jackson.
That’s how he wanted it to be.
I guess that’s my answer, isn’t it?
Finally, a little soft edge to the hard anger still filling Jackson’s features. He reached out and cupped Noah’s cheek with his other hand, even as he still held Noah’s. “I need to spend the weekend calming down. Literally. Luckily she was already getting into her car when I came out. If she and I had gotten into it in the parking lot, I might have actually hit her. That scares me, because I never lose control like that. Ever. Not now. Like I said, old triggers I thought I’d dealt with and left behind me.
“We have done nothing wrong. I’ve got teachers at school asking when they can throw us a wedding party. My own parents keep hinting at it, and they’re in fricking Indiana and haven’t even met you yet.”
He dropped his hand from Noah’s face to cup it around Noah’s hand. “So I’m going to spend this weekend finding my chill center again and working through some old stuff that I thought I’d…settled. Come Monday, either you’re going to marry me, or not. And if you marry me, that means from that moment on, only I get to decide when and how you interact with your parents, and I control the situation. Understand?”
Noah nodded. “Yes, Master.”
Weary exhaustion filled his features. “Come give me a kiss, baby, and get back to work.”
Noah leaned in and kissed him. “I love you, Master.”
Jackson’s hand returned, this time cupping the back of Noah’s neck. “Love you, too. I mean it—no contact between us this weekend. Not unless it’s an emergency. Spend the time thinking about us, and if I’m who you really want. Because once you’re mine, it’s for life.”
Noah nodded.
Jackson gathered their papers, separated his from Noah’s, and returned everything to him. Noah noticed Jackson kept the marriage license.
After getting out, Noah stood there and watched him drive off. Turning to head inside, he fought the urge to cry over the deep ache that he wouldn’t be with Jackson tonight.
Or Saturday.
Or…Sunday.
But…that’s my answer, isn’t it?
And, he realized, it was Jackson’s whole point. Sure, it was barely two months they’d known each other, but they weren’t kids.
They both knew what and who they wanted.
They both had lives and careers and mostly had their shit together.
There also wasn’t another option in Noah’s soul—he loved Jackson and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.
Chapter Twelve
When
Noah headed downstairs at 12:01 on Monday, he found Jackson standing there, leaning against the side of his car, parked in a shady spot in the visitor parking area.
Nervous, Noah walked over to him, standing in front of him.
Jackson wore khakis, loafers, and a long-sleeved button-up shirt with the Sorrellson logo embroidered on the left breast, his sleeves neatly rolled up to his elbows, the top button undone at the collar and no tie. With his arms crossed over his chest, he studied Noah with eyes that today flashed more green than brown, the flecks of emerald in the depths intensifying his gaze.
Jackson didn’t speak, waiting.
Noah stared into his eyes for a long moment, stomach churning. Finally, he threw himself at Jackson, tightly wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him.
He had to.
He couldn’t walk away from him.
This was his Master, his heart, his love.
Jackson’s arms captured Noah’s waist, clutching him against his body for a long, quiet moment. “My very good boy,” he whispered in Noah’s ear, making Noah’s soul soar. “I missed you so damn much this weekend. Let’s go make you mine—and make me yours.”
Jackson’s fingers laced through Noah’s. He led him around to the passenger side, opened the door for him, and held his hand until Noah had settled in the seat.
Jackson braced one arm on the roof, the other on his door, and leaned in. “You’re mine, you understand? There’s no room in your head for any of that fucking bullshit your family tries to feed you. I forbid it. I’ll never tell you to cut all contact with them. But, from now on, contact only happens in my presence, because I will push back against them, protect you from them, and fight that battle for you. That’s my job, and I will do it. You will let me do it, and you will not interfere with me doing it. Understand?”
Noah nodded. “Yes, Master.”
Jackson didn’t move. “This is for life,” he quietly said. “I belong to you every bit as much as you belong to me. No other guys, no cheating, no lying. Outside our jobs, your focus is me, and my focus is you. I won’t accept anything less than that.”
Judgment of the Moon and Stars Page 9