Second Thoughts

by Terry O'Reilly

  “Come on, Clyde,” Nick had called.

  The basset obediently came to the front door and the two of them left the townhouse.

  * * * “Yoo-hoo. Hello there!” Mrs. Kloswick’s voice broke into Nick’s reverie.

  He looked up to see his next-door neighbor with hose in hand,

  watering her roses.

  “Oh, hello,” he responded.

  She turned off the hose and walked over to him, extending her

  hand. “I’m Ursula Kloswick. I don’t believe we’ve met, but I live

  here,” she said, indicating the townhouse behind her, “between you

  and Jesse.”

  Nick politely took her hand and shook it gently. “Hi, I’m Nick

  Warden. It’s nice to meet you.”

  Nick was still distracted by his encounter with Dennis

  Christopoulos. Clyde sat at his feet, smiling his doggie hello with

  his tongue hanging out.

  “Oh, this is Clyde.”

  Mrs. Kloswick bent and patted Clyde’s head. “My, you’re low

  to the ground,” she said with a little laugh. “Does he bark much? I

  don’t like a lot of barking.”

  “No, he’s pretty quiet,” Nick assured her.

  “I understand you’re a teacher?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “My niece Angela is studying to be a teacher. She’s coming to

  visit me soon. I know she’d love to pick your brains about your

  experiences,” Mrs. Kloswick said with a sweet smile.

  Ah, it starts already, Nick thought. “Well, this is my first year

  teaching. I was in the service after college, so I don’t really have a

  lot of experiences to share with her yet.”

  “But you’re in the same field. So, I know you’ll have lots to

  talk about. I’ll let you know when she arrives. Maybe you could

  come over and have dinner?”

  Oh man! “That would be nice,” Nick replied. “If you’ll excuse me,” he added, “I’m still up to my neck in packing crates. I need to

  start organizing things at home. It was good to meet you.” “It was lovely to meet you, too, Nicolas. I’ll be sure to let you

  know when Angela arrives.”

  “That’ll be great,” Nick said, with a sinking feeling inside. He nodded his good-byes and made his way up the walk to the

  door.

  * * * Jesse returned to the living room where Denny was standing, hands on hips.

  “What’s wrong with you? Nick’s our new neighbor. He and I were just having a beer while I waited for you to come home. You’re makin’ such a big deal out of it.”

  “Well, I come home all ready to make up for last night and find you with a strange guy. What am I supposed to think?” Denny said belligerently.

  “You’re supposed to think you can trust me. That’s what commitment is all about.”

  Denny looked uncomfortable. “He’s too damn good lookin’ for his own good. I don’t like him.”

  “You don’t even know him,” said Jesse in exasperation.

  Denny sighed. “You’re right. I’m just tired is all, I guess. Come on, let’s start over.” He walked past Jesse and out into the hallway. “Surprise! Get ready to open your anniversary package,” Denny said, walking into the room again.

  He had his hands cupped around his ample basket, which caused it to protrude provocatively. Jesse sank to the couch. Denny walked up to him and pressed his anniversary package against his mouth, his hands behind Jesse’s head.

  * * * Nick walked into the house and kicked off his shoes. Clyde padded in behind him and made his way to his dog bed that Nick had unpacked and placed in the kitchen next to the table. Nick looked around, feeling—for the first time since he had met Jesse— alone and empty. There were still boxes to be unpacked. He didn’t feel like doing that just then.

  He went into the living room. Clyde got up from his bed and followed. There were boxes in this room, too. Clyde sat and looked up at him.

  How the hell can a single guy in a one-bedroom apartment collect so much shit?

  He sat down on the couch and stared at the blank screen of the TV.

  Wonder where I packed the remote. Probably in the same place I put the fuckin’ charger for the phone. Better get busy and find them.

  Nick hauled himself off the couch and started going through the boxes in the living room. As soon as he did, Clyde jumped up, with some effort, onto the sofa, made three circles and settled in.

  “Don’t go teachin’ Shelby to do that. She’ll be in trouble with the Gestapo,” Nick told his dog.

  The statement brought back negative feelings from the brief encounter he had had with Denny. He resolved not to rush to judgment. After all, the guy had just gotten home from a long trip and didn’t expect to have his anniversary homecoming interrupted by some stranger.

  Nick busied himself for over an hour with unpacking. He found both the remote and his cell charger. He plugged the latter in and placed the phone in it.

  Hungry now, he realized he should have done some shopping at Dominick’s when he was there that afternoon with Jesse. The thought of that reminded him of the day he had just spent. Jesse was a fine man: easy to look at, fun to be with.

  “And taken,” Nick said as he forced his mind away from those thoughts and onto what to do for dinner.

  Pizza?

  Not having a phone book—or a phone for that matter—he grabbed his keys, called Clyde and went out to the car to find a pizza restaurant.

  Forty-five minutes later the duo returned with a medium meat lovers and a six-pack of Coors Light.

  * * * Jesse stood in front of the mirror putting gel into his hair. Denny was just finishing up his shower. He stepped out and grabbed a towel from the rack. Jesse looked at him in the mirror. Denny’s thickly muscled body was covered with hair: rich, dark, curly, black hair. His prick, still half-hard from their previous activities, was thick. It stood now at a forty-five degree angle to his body, jutting out from his dense pubic bush. The man’s heavy, rounded balls, also shrouded in the black shag, were snugged up tight against his body.

  As Denny toweled off, the light caught the droplets of water on the hairs of his chest and abdomen, making them sparkles like sequins. Jesse smiled as he felt a tingle run through his body. Denny looked into the mirror and also smiled. He walked forward and put his arms around Jesse’s waist, fondling his hardening manhood. Then standing on his toes, he pressed his semitumescence into the crevice between the taller man’s ass cheeks. He bit his shoulder.

  “How was that for an anniversary present?” “It’ll do…for now,” Jesse said, squeezing Denny’s thick cock with his glutes.

  “That mean we got another round coming later?”

  Jesse turned around and took Denny into his arms. He tilted the shorter man’s face up to his and kissed him. Tongues swirled and probed.

  “You can count on it,” he said. “Right now, we have a dinner to eat.”

  “I’d rather have a second course of what I had to eat just a few minutes ago,” said Denny, kneading Jesse’s firm buttocks.

  “Patience, my man. We’ve got all night.”

  Denny reached up to kiss him again. “Yeah, we do.”

  * * * Nick sat on the couch with the pizza box on his knees and a beer on the end table. Clyde was sitting expectantly at his feet. Nick didn’t like the crust, so that was Clyde’s portion, along with a hunk of sausage or two.

  After dinner, he took Clyde out for the last trek of the night. As he got to the end of his walk, he was tempted to go by Jesse’s, but thought better of it. Turning in the opposite direction, he walked to the dog park and let Clyde off his leash.

  After a half-hour, he was home and sitting in front of the TV, watching reruns of Law and Order SVU. This show was about a man avenging the death of his gay brother, who died of AIDS because his partner didn’t disclose his status. For some re
ason, it made him worry about Jesse.

  At ten o’clock, he decided to go to bed. After taking care of his nightly duties, including a trip to the back yard for the dog’s benefit, he lifted Clyde onto the queen. The dog immediately found his spot and curled up. Nick stretched out shirtless on the covers. For a long time, he stared at the ceiling. After some time, his right hand slowly made its way under the waistband of his loungers and began to pull his soft pubic bush gently. His left hand played with his nipple. Trying to keep his mind blank and focused solely on the physical sensations he was creating, Nick raised his hips and pushed his pants down around his knees.

  He began to fondle his balls, stroke his perineum and roll his dick around, pressing it against his stomach. As his cock became harder, he pulled his foreskin back and smeared the pre-cum now oozing from the slit around the shining glans. He began to stroke himself, moving the hood back and forth over the crown of his dick. His legs began to tighten and relax. So did his ass as his excitement increased. The pace of his stroking speeded up, and he lost the battle of keeping his mind blank.

  Nick conjured up images of Jesse at the gym as he worked out his well-defined chest, his strong back and his bulging biceps. Then to the shower, where the man’s beautiful, long, full cock had arched, partially erect, as the two men had exchanged visual inspections. Jesse’s chest and flat abs, covered with a soft, short, light brown hair leading to a lush tangle just above the thick base of his dick caused Nick to moan. In his mind, Nick watched Jesse turn and rinse the soap from his body, the water cascading over the globes of his well-formed butt, covered again with that fringe of hair.

  The thought of penetrating that beautiful ass, uniting with the man, pushed Nick over the edge. His legs trembled uncontrollably and he began to shoot volleys of thick, white cum over his chest and stomach. As he did, he involuntarily shouted, “Jesse, I love you. I love you, Jess.”

  * * * “Jess, this is really good. Did you make it different this time?” Denny asked as the two men sat on the patio eating the meal Jesse had prepared the day before. The candle flames swayed in the light breeze that blew from the north, cooling the late August evening.

  “No, it’s your mom’s recipe, but since I made it yesterday it had a chance to marinate. Seems sauces like this get better with age.”

  Shelby sat looking intently at the table. She was drooling. “What’s with her? You been feeding her from the table again?” Jesse looked sheepish. “Well, you weren’t coming home, so I

  told her she could have some. So, when Nick and I sat down to eat—” Denny looked up. Anger flashed in his eyes. He lowered his fork slowly to the table.

  “When you and Nick sat down to eat?” he said accentuating each word.

  “Yeah, well…” Jesse realized he had made a major error.

  “So, Nick gets our anniversary dinner, and I get leftovers?”

  “Denny, listen, please. I don’t understand. You seem so tense tonight. Nick came over to use the phone. His stove wasn’t working. I had all this food. Denny?”

  “What?” Denny was looking away into the backyard.

  Jesse reached out and put his hand over his boyfriend’s. Denny pulled his away.

  “Is he gay?”

  “Yes, but what difference does that make?”

  “What difference does that make? What difference does that make?” Denny said, his voice getting louder. “If he was straight, he wouldn’t have put the make on my boyfriend.” He said the final word in a mocking accusatory way.

  “Denny, nothing happened. He didn’t put the make on me. We just had dinner and walked the dogs.”

  “So you had a little doggie walk tete-a-tete. Since I don’t like to walk the fuckin’ mutt, you had to go find someone who would.”

  “Dennis, this is getting ridiculous. I don’t know what’s gotten into you tonight, but you’ve never acted this jealous before. I swear there’s nothing going on between Nick and me. We just met, we may become friends, but you’re my boyfriend. You’re the one I love.”

  These words seemed to get through to Denny. He sighed and looked down at his hands on the table. He ran his tongue over his lips. Finally, he reached out and took one of Jesse’s hands in his. “You’re right. I am being ridiculous. I’m sorry.”

  “Forgiven.” Jesse squeezed Denny’s hand.

  They began eating again.

  “Just so you know. We jogged this morning, had lunch together and worked out at the gym.” Jesse waited hesitantly for Denny’s reaction.

  Denny smiled. “You see him in the buff?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He built?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Better than me?”

  “No one is better than you.” Jesse smiled.

  So did Denny.

  “He big?”

  “Don’t know. He wasn’t hard.”

  They both laughed.

  They ate for a few minutes. “If he was hard, what do ya think?” “Dennis!”

  “Well, just wondering. He is kinda cute you know.” “Now who should be jealous?” Jesse said, teasing.

  They finished eating, and Denny retired to the living room and switched on the TV.

  Jesse went to the kitchen to clean up the meal. When he joined Denny he was carrying two dishes of ice cream. He came in just in time for the tropical update on the weather channel.

  “Tropical Storm Deirdre has moved up the coast and it looks like she will veer off into the Atlantic. There is no threat to the U. S. mainland. Aside from the sizeable amount of rain the storm dumped on the eastern Florida coast, Deirdre is a non-event, weather wise.”

  Jesse stared at the screen for a few seconds, trying to decide how to bring up his concerns. Finally, he said, “You know the other night when you called and said you wished I was in Miami with you cuz the weather was great and a midnight swim would be cool?”

  “Yeah?” Denny responded hesitantly.

  “Well, this storm was dumping a load of rain on Miami…”

  Denny looked flustered. Then regaining control, he said, “I…uh….I was actually in Tampa.”

  “Tampa? But you said you were assigned the trip to Miami.”

  “You know how it is. You fly for so many days and are in and out of so many airports, you hardly know where you are. I don’t usually go to Tampa. I have the Miami run all the time, so I got the cities mixed up.” He took the bowl of ice cream from Jesse’s hand. “Come on, sit down and enjoy your first dessert. The second one is gonna be even better.” He gave Jesse an evil grin.

  Jesse sat, and they ate the ice cream. He accepted what Denny had said about being in Tampa, not Miami. He knew the hectic flight schedules and quick layovers could be disorienting. He felt relieved: he knew there had to have been a logical explanation. As Jesse was getting up to take the empty bowls to the kitchen, Denny’s cell phone rang. Jesse stopped, turned and looked back at Denny.

  Don’t let it be another emergency flight assignment!

  “Hello. Oh…uh…hi.” Denny looked at Jesse. He waved him on.

  Jesse started out of the room but stopped again in the doorway. Denny got up and walked toward the patio. As he was going out the door, Jesse thought he heard him say, “This is not a good time—”

  CHAPTER 4

  Denny slid the patio door shut behind him. Through the pane he saw Jesse, brow wrinkled, looking concerned, turn and walk out of sight into the kitchen.

  “I told you not to use this number unless it was an emergency. I said I’d call you!” Denny growled with intensity, while at the same time trying to keep his voice down.

  “Well, this is an emergency,” came a husky, slightly slurred voice over the phone. “I’ve got a hard-on that just won’t go away and I need you to take care of it.”

  “Shit, Carter, you’re in Detroit, and I’m in Chicago. How the hell am I supposed to take care of your ‘emergency’? And besides, Jesse is here. I can’t give you phone sex with him in the next room!”

  “I know, I kn
ow, but I miss you, man. Last night was just too good.” Carter’s voice had returned to a more normal tone. “I’m sorry, but…well, I miss you.”

  Denny gave an exasperated sigh. He had met Carter several weeks earlier on a flight from Hong Kong to Honolulu. It had been instant attraction on both sides. Carter was older. He was handsome and built like a line backer: broad shoulders, narrow waist, deep chest, and fantastic bubble butt. His winning smile and salt-and-pepper hair and ’stache had caused Denny to go weak in the knees as the man boarded the plane and Denny greeted him. Their eyes met, and he instantly knew.

  As the man exited the plane, he’d pressed a note into Denny’s hand. “Kahala Hotel, Room 746.” He put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze as he departed the plane.

  Of course, Denny appeared at the man’s door later that night. There had been no question in his mind that he would, though he wrestled with guilt over Jesse as he did. They spent that night making intense, passionate love. By morning, a confused and besotted Denny knew he was in love.

  That started an affair carried on in hotels from Detroit to Europe, Asia and India. Carter was an independently wealthy businessman who had interests all over the globe. He could easily arrange to be on Denny’s flights, or meet him in whatever city he was flying to, and did so with regularity. He was married, but separated from his wife. He had decided to give into the desire for male sex that had prowled within him most of his adult life and came out to his spouse. They had decided to divorce. The details were being arranged. Denny was his first man-to-man sexual experience. It confirmed for Carter that the feelings he had harbored all his life were legitimate.

  On Denny’s part, he had never been consciously attracted to older men. But something happened when he lay in Carter’s arms after their first time together. A deep repressed longing came to the fore. Denny realized a hidden attraction to mature men was the source of that longing, and Carter was its fulfillment. He had never felt as complete as he had that night.

  He had also never felt so confused. He was in a relationship with Jesse, and he loved Jesse, but he had never felt satisfied. Whenever Jesse had referred to Denny as his partner, Denny had re-directed the label to that of boyfriend. They lived together. They were a couple. But…once Denny had allowed his feelings for Carter to surface, he felt constant stress and guilt when he was at home. Denny knew these uncomfortable feelings were the source of much of his short temper and bad behavior of late.