Christmas Griffin: A Mate for Christmas #5

by Chant, Zoe

  His steady, loving gaze didn’t change.

  “Oh,” she whispered. “You’re not trying to save my feelings. You’re telling the truth.”

  “I always will be.” He tightened his fingers around hers and turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand. “You can count on that. I’ll always tell you the truth and right now, and forever, the truth is that you only hurt me when you were afraid. I didn’t see that as fast as I could have. You were afraid of what your family would think, what they’d do, if they knew the truth. You built this whole idea of yourself around those lies, and that was what hurt me. But that’s in the past now.” He kissed each of her fingers, one by one. “This month isn’t just about me. I want you to have a chance to learn who you can be, too. Underneath all the stories you told yourself. And figuring that out won’t be lying. It’ll be discovering your truth.”

  Tears filled her eyes. He understood her? He understood her, and still wanted her around?

  Hardwick pulled her closer and wiped the corner of her eye where a tear threatened to spill out. “We’re in this together, Delphine. I’m not going to push you away.”

  To her horror, she sniffed. “Oh, God,” she muttered, pulling away to wipe her eyes. He didn’t let her, and she stayed safe in his arms as he kissed her tears away. “You wouldn’t have to push me away. I’d go by myself.”

  “I know. But I don’t want that. I don’t want you to ever think you have to leave for my own good.” He rested his forehead against hers. “You’re the best thing in my life, Delphine. Where you go, I go.”

  His words echoed in her mind. She didn’t know whether she wanted to capture them under glass and keep them safe and perfect forever, or let them sink into her memory and know they would pop up by themselves in the future, tiny blessings that would make her day happier.

  For the time being, they reminded her of something else that she had barely let herself think about. But if he wanted to stay with her, no matter what…

  “I was thinking…”

  She hesitated as her mind ran ahead.

  Hardwick nudged her. “Go on.”

  “What?”

  “Whatever it is that you’re thinking.” He rubbed a callused thumb along her arm, just above her elbow. She couldn’t feel the scratch through her sweater, but she wanted to.

  That probably wasn’t what he was talking about, though.

  “It won’t hurt you if I talk through things without thinking them over first, to make sure they’re actually true?”

  “Try me.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t want to try him. The whole point of being out here was that nobody tried him, and he got better.

  She told him as much, and he laughed, surprised.

  “No lies there.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her air. “Now try again.”

  “Fine.” After all, she’d already checked the—

  Delphine caught herself. “I’ve already checked the bedroom, and the bed’s made, so if this turns out to be the terrible idea I think it is, you can lie down in there until your headache goes away.”

  “That’s not going to be a problem. Though I can think of another use for the bed.” He looked so pleased with himself that she tsked at him.

  “I was thinking that, yes, I do have a job that I need to get back to, but… Mr. Petrakis’s good-karma kick seems to still be holding strong, so he might think that letting me have unlimited time off while he gets fitted for his halo is a good idea, and even if he doesn’t to start with I could probably talk him around to thinking it was his idea in the first place…”

  “Just make sure I’m out of earshot when you do that part.”

  She peers up at him, searching his face for the hitch. “You’re okay with me talking about misleading someone else?”

  “At least you’re being honest about it.” He gives her a crooked smile. “And I should be honest with you, too. You’re not the only one who’s been thinking. I’m leaving the force.”

  “What?”

  She stepped back, to get a better view of his face and try to decide if he was joking. He couldn’t be lying, but—joking, surely. “After everything you’ve said about how your gift makes you the perfect detective?”

  “At the cost of my health, and my griffin’s health.” He ran one hand down his face. “I thought I was doing fine. I told myself I was enough times it’s a miracle I didn’t bench myself from the moment I woke up each day.” He winced and she rushed forwards to place a hand on his temple. “Maybe I did. Maybe it all mixed up together, being around people when they’re busy lying to save their skins or scapegoat someone else’s, lying to myself…” He shook his head, then leaned into her caress. “It used to work. Do the job for eleven months and three weeks, then a few days off and I’d be back with a spring in my step and none the worse for wear. Then I needed a week, then I told myself I didn’t need any more than a week and kept that up for a few years and see where it got me.”

  His face twisted. If it was a smile, it was a wry one. Delphine ran her fingertips along his forehead. “Nowhere good?” she suggested.

  “Until you. And I was so far gone I almost let you go. No. I almost drove you away. I won’t let anything like that come between us again. And thanks to you, I’ve found another way to use my gift to help people. Without putting myself at risk.” He took her hand and his voice softened. “People who are frightened, or in danger, are always going to lie to themselves. Sometimes it’s the only thing that lets them keep going.”

  Delphine frowned, trying to unravel what he was on the verge of telling her. “Like with the dragonling, Cole?”

  “Search and rescue.” He sounded gruff. He was embarrassed, Delphine realized, or—not quite, but close. Like he was waiting for her reaction before he decided this was a good idea or not. She’d been on the other side of that particular equation so many times that her heart squeezed for him. “I talked to Jackson about it. He and the hellhounds do some, but it’s not any of their primary jobs. And apart from being able to shift and fly, or shift and run, they’re limited in what they can do. Even the hellhounds wouldn’t have been able to scent Cole’s route after the snowstorm. My griffin can fly, smell and look for trails… and tell when someone’s trying to tell themselves that they’re not in trouble.”

  “And if they want to keep lying about what they were up to once you’ve brought them back into the warm, you can always disappear into the night, instead of sticking around to interrogate them and choke yourself on paperwork.” Warmth filled her. “I think it’s a great idea.”

  “You do?”

  “You tell me.”

  He gave her a look that was half-proud and more than half over the border into smug. “You do.”

  She couldn’t stop herself from prying into details. “Here? I mean, you’re planning to stay in Pine Valley?”

  “For the time being. If you need to be somewhere else, I’ll go there. But I’m not going to drag you back into my old life.”

  “I’m not sure I want to drag you into mine,” she admitted.

  Hardwick frowned. “Your boss doesn’t know the truth about you.”

  “And the moment he does, it’ll be all ‘I always knew!’ and ‘If only I had been there with you, to protect you from your family’s wrath!’ and ‘I, of course, would never think less of anyone for not being a shifter!’” She made a face. “I couldn’t stand it. And neither would you.”

  “You need to surround yourself with better people,” Hardwick said grimly.

  She tipped her head back to smile at him. “I’m working on it,” she said. “Starting with you. And if you’re thinking of staying here in Pine Valley… well, the other shifters I’ve met here seem to have their heads on straighter than I’m used to. Maybe they’ll be a good influence on me.”

  “On us both,” Hardwick muttered.

  She gazed into his eyes. A final knot deep inside her finally started to loosen.

  “This is going to work, isn’t it
?” she whispered. “I think I didn’t actually believe it until now.”

  A hint of sadness flickered in the depths of his eyes, replaced quickly with warmth and love. “I’d be surprised if you let yourself fall all in, all at once.”

  “But I believe it now.”

  A slow smile spread across his face. Real happiness, because she was really telling the truth. And because—she guessed, but it was an educated guess—he’d been feeling the same way. Tentative, unsure, still feeling his way towards letting himself be open to her, just as she’d held back until she knew how he felt.

  Love wasn’t a one-off thing. It wasn’t the universe smacking you around the head and tying you to someone. Even soulmate love. It was a dance, a series of steps, of trust given and received. They could each have chosen to pull away. But they were together. Choosing each other. And the connection that had sparked between them in the run-down cabin that night was nothing compared to what they would build together.

  Starting now. Because he might not be acting like it, but Delphine couldn’t keep distracting herself from the fact that her mate was very, very naked.

  She let her eyes drop down his body and linger over some certain places so that he would have no doubts about the direction her mind was going in, and said:

  “I can’t make any promises that I won’t lie to you by mistake, or from forgetting myself.”

  “I know.”

  “So maybe we should start with the first thing that really worked between us, for making me tell the truth.”

  A spark lit in his eye. “Oh?”

  “I think you know what I’m talking about.” Just in case he didn’t, she stood on tip-toe and whispered in his ear.

  His hands tightened around her waist as she went into more detail.

  “… and like I said. The bed’s already made. We might as well test it out.”

  Hardwick’s eyes flashed dark fire at her. “Who says we’ll make it as far as the bed?”

  * * *

  Hardwick

  They did make it to the bed, eventually. But he put up a good enough fight that it took them a while.

  A foggy combination of exhaustion and satisfaction filled his veins as he lay back, Delphine resting in his arms. That had been…

  He searched for fancier words and came up blank. It had been everything their first time had been, but better. Then, he’d let his guard down, let himself hope that everything would be fixed between them. The sense of peace that had given him had come crashing down the next day when Delphine was reunited with her family, and maybe it was that resolution that made the memory bittersweet and what he was feeling now so much brighter.

  Or maybe it was because of that first time that every time they slept together since had been so much sweeter. He’d already faced what happened when things went wrong. This time, neither of them wanted to hide anything from the other; if tomorrow morning brought on hurt, then they would face it together.

  He let his eyes half-close, still looking down at Delphine tucked against his chest. He was more than just exhausted. His head felt clear, unburdened. When he checked in with his griffin, it felt the same. The constant, pained vigilance that had kept it on-edge so long that it had stopped noticing anything was wrong had eased.

  When he thought of what might have been, if he’d let his own fear and pain take him away from this incredible woman, his heart quaked. It would have been less than half of a life. A shadow existence, alone, trapped in a pattern of hurt.

  Instead, what lay ahead was a brighter future than had beckoned to him any other time he’d locked himself away to detox from the world.

  Hell. Maybe this time next year, he’d be as keen to celebrate Christmas as Jasper Heartwell was.

  * * *

  A note from Zoe Chant

  Thank you for buying my book! I hope you enjoyed it. If you’d like to be emailed when I release my next book, please click here to be added to my mailing list. You can also visit my webpage, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter. You are also invited to join my VIP Readers Group on Facebook!

  Please consider reviewing Christmas Griffin, even if you only write a line or two. I appreciate all reviews, whether positive or negative.

  Page down to read a special sneak preview of A Mate for the Christmas Dragon, book 1 in the A Mate for Christmas series.

  More Paranormal Romance by Zoe Chant

  A Mate for the Christmas Dragon. (A Mate for Christmas #1) Jasper has five days to win his mate’s heart. Luckily, it’s Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. Unluckily… his mate hates the holidays.

  Christmas Hellhound (A Mate for Christmas #2) Can a hellhound really save Christmas?

  Christmas Pegasus (A Mate for Christmas #3) Last Christmas, Jackson gave Olly his heart - and her inner owl chewed it up and spat it back at him. This Christmas, he’s determined to win her and her owl’s love. Even if she isn’t his fated mate.

  The Hellhound’s UnChristmas Miracle (A Mate for Christmas #4) His past is a nightmare - and the woman of his dreams just walked into it. Can hellhound shifter Fleance save his mate Sheena from the monster who transformed him, or will they both be left forever changed?

  Panther’s Promise. (Shifter Suspense #1) A curvy artist struggling with self-doubt + a panther shifter who's out of touch with his panther + a kidnapper with deadly plans = one thrilling romantic adventure!

  Saved by the Billionaire Lion Shifter. (Shifter Suspense #2) A billionaire lion shifter fighting to fill the hole in his heart + a curvy reporter on an undercover assignment + an island paradise where all is not as it seems = one dangerously hot romance!

  Stealing the Snow Leopard’s Heart. (Shifter Suspense #3). A stick-in-the-mud snow leopard shifter PI + an ex-thief who can’t escape her past + an adorable baby dragon who thinks they’re both part of her hoard = one sweet and sexy romance!

  The Griffin’s Mate. (Hideaway Cove #1) A curvy businesswoman who’s new in town + a lonely griffin shifter searching for someone to share his nest + a small town with a big secret = a hot and heartwarming story of love and family.

  The Sea Wolf’s Mate. (Hideaway Cove #2) Three adorable seal shifter kids, a wolf shifter without a pack… and a woman who thought she’d lost her chance at happy ever after.

  Firefighter Dragon. (Fire & Rescue Shifters # 1). A curvy archaeologist with the find of a lifetime + a firefighter dragon shifter battling his instincts + a priceless artifact coveted by a ruthless rival = one blazing hot romance!

  Firefighter Pegasus. (Fire & Rescue Shifters # 2). A curvy pilot wary of flighty men + a firefighter pegasus shifter determined to win her heart + a high speed air race with even higher stakes = one explosive romance!

  Firefighter Griffin. (Fire & Rescue Shifters # 3). A curvy single mom burned by love + a unique half-eagle, half-lion shifter firefighter with a wounded soul + the little boy who brings them together = one heart-warming romance!

  Trusting the Tiger. A lonely BBW who can't shift, on vacation with her shifter family + a billionaire tiger shifter looking for a family + a kidnapping plot that threatens to rip them apart = one sexy and dangerous weekend getaway!

  Zoe Chant writing as Lia Silver

  Laura’s Wolf (Werewolf Marines # 1), by Lia Silver. Werewolf Marine Roy Farrell, scarred in body and mind, thinks he has no future. Curvy con artist Laura Kaplan, running from danger and her own guilt, is desperate to escape her past. Together, they have all that they need to heal.

  Prisoner (Werewolf Marines # 2), by Lia Silver. Werewolf Marine DJ Torres is a born rebel. Genetically engineered assassin Echo was created to be a weapon. When DJ is captured by the agency that made Echo, the two misfits find that they fit together perfectly.

  Partner (Werewolf Marines # 3), by Lia Silver. DJ and Echo’s relationship grows stronger under fire… until they are confronted by a terrible choice.

  Zoe Chant writing as Lauren Esker

  Handcuffed to the Bear (Shifter Agents # 1), by Lauren Esker. A bear-shifter ex-mercenary an
d a curvy lynx shifter searching for her best friend's killer are handcuffed together and hunted in the wilderness. Can they learn to rely on each other before their pasts, and their pursuers, catch up with them?

  Guard Wolf (Shifter Agents # 2), by Lauren Esker. Avery is a lone werewolf with no pack; Nicole is a social worker trying to put her life back together. When he comes to her door with a box of orphan werewolf puppies and danger in pursuit, can two lonely people find the family they've been missing?

  Dragon’s Luck (Shifter Agents # 3) by Lauren Esker. Gecko shifter and infiltration expert Jen Cho teams up with sexy dragon-shifter gambler "Lucky" Lucado to win a high-stakes poker game. Now they're trapped on a cruise ship full of mobsters, mysterious enemy agents, and evil dragons!

  Keeping Her Pride (Ladies of the Pack # 1), by Lauren Esker. Down-and-out lioness shifter Debi Fallon never meant to fall in love with a human. Sexy architect and single dad Fletcher Briggs has his hands full with his adorable 4-year-old… who turns into a tiny, deadly snake. Can two ambitious people overcome their pride and prejudice enough to realize the only thing missing from their lives is each other?

  Special Sneak Preview

  A Mate for the Christmas Dragon

  Jasper

  DECEMBER 20

  FIVE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

  Jasper thudded into the snowbank, arms upraised to defend himself from the vicious assault.

  “Raar! Raaaaar!” his nephew roared, leaping onto his chest. Jasper lowered his arms— just in time to see that Cole hadn’t jumped up empty-handed. A snowball the size of a football exploded on his face.

  “Cole, leave your uncle alone!”

  Jasper sat up, spitting snow, at the sound of his older sister Opal’s exasperated but loving voice. He rubbed snow out of his eyes and grinned at her. Jasper had just arrived in town, spat out of the inter-city bus with a swarm of excited Christmas vacationers. He’d caught sight of Opal and his nephew across the road, loaded down with Christmas shopping— and hadn’t even had a chance to say hello before Cole launched his attack.