by Ron Foster
“Dang, I bet that was some humdinger of a surprise for the both of you! Who scared the hell out of who first?” Thomas said grinning playfully evil at the mental picture of the two of them trying to hide out in the same place.
“Who you think? Giant bean pole cowboy come running away from mad army men in my direction and then suddenly run in back of same garbage can I was watching him from!” Yoshi said with a broad grin at the irony of it.
“And you didn’t shoot him!” Thomas said laughing out loud and looking at Walt mischievously to hear what he thought about him most likely looking at the wrong end of that hand cannon pointing at him. That formidable pistol looked like it was two sizes too big for that new stranger to be toting around, let alone be pointing it at someone in a hurry when they were scared.
“No, I tell him go quick find him new hiding place!” Yoshi said laughing and enjoying the mirth of the moment.
“I would of probably shit my britches then and there if I hadn’t of already been puckered up pretty good from somebody shooting a damn AR at me previously. Check this out, I run in one of them cinder block dumpster enclosures hell bent for leather and I am crouching down to see if any more shots are going to be coming my way and I hear behind me “I shoot you! Go find you another place! This place mine!” and look back only to see that cavern of a muzzle poking around the far side of the dumpster in my direction! That’s it, no hand visible, no head, no body, just that gun pointing at me and a voice telling me to hurry up and leave!” Walt said reliving that scary “oh hell” moment.
“I sorry but I no want no trouble!” Yoshi offered as a mild apology but seeing that everything had turned out all right, smiled once again with the other two men about what a funny scene it had made for him to be hiding behind the dumpster and poking his gun around the corner.
“No worries, buddy, that incident could of turned out a thousand percent worse for the both of us in so many ways! Hey Yoshi, you were asking me about the effectiveness of a twenty-two bullet and told me to get myself a big man’s gun that shot a larger caliber. Stick that piece of artillery you got on the table for a second and compare it to this pocket rocket I got!” Walt said fishing again in one of the bib pockets of his overalls and momentarily coming out with a miniscule stainless-steel hideout gun. Walt grinned before revealing what he was cleverly concealing and holding in the palm of his hand before laying it on the table and waiting on Yoshi to lay his monstrous hardly concealable at all weapon down next to it.
“That Cockroach gun! Not real gun! No good!” Yoshi said eying the diminutive gun in disgust and picking his .357 back up.
“I told him that bib pocket thing of his was only good for over aggressive mice that had you backed up in a corner on more than one occasion!” Thomas said getting into the game of messing with Walt about the effectiveness of what he disparagingly referred to as a mouse gun.
“Yea, Ha Ha, guys! Go ahead and laugh at me, jokes on you though. I will tell you something that you are not going to believe here in a minute! The fact is, my friends, that twenty two rounds statistically compared to most higher caliber carry pistol rounds required the least number of shots to stop an attacker as compared to the other bigger more powerful cartridges in a well-publicized study.
American hand gunner magazine printed an article at http://www.activeresponsetraining.net/using-the-22-for-self-defense that states the following, Walt said, reaching inside his door for a reprint of the article they could inspect.
caliber
% stopped after 1 shot
How many shots to stop
% that did not stop
.22 (short, long, long rifle)
60%
1.38
31%
.25 acp
49%
2.2
35%
.32 (acp and long)
72%
1.52
24%
.380 acp
62%
1.76
16%
9mm Luger
47%
2.45
13%
.38 spl
55%
1.87
17%
.357 magnum
61%
1.7
9%
.40 S&W
52%
2.36
13%
.45 acp
51%
2.08
14%
“Now then, boys, for example, you do not need all of the power a .22lr has for every application that you are thinking about using it for. Sometimes 'just enough' is really the optimal level you need to achieve to get a task done. It’s kind of like you being able to shoot thirty eights in that three fifty seven. That’s plenty of power to get the job done with the smaller round, less recoil, says get off me just as well as .357 etc. to end an attack.” Walt said very comfortable with his little backup gun that would come as a deadly surprise to anything threatening him with bodily harm.
“Yea, Walt you have told me before that an ice pick will kill you just as dead as a spear. It might take a bit longer, but you will still be dead.” Thomas reassured, contemplating the numbers.
“I think I mentioned flaming expanding fragmenting ice pick, but you got the point!” Walt said with a smirk.
“Let Yoshi see again numbers on that paper, that pea shooter can’t beat big .357! It Joke! Book page lie!” Yoshi said scrutinizing the numbers again and trying to make sense out of the data shown.
“Yoshi, you’re not taking into account what those numbers are meant to mean. The scale is a representation of how many shots did it take to stop an attacker, not blow something to smithereens or how long it took an attacker to die. See, many factors become involved when it comes to stopping someone from attacking you. You just want an end to a fight or to deter or stop someone from hurting you. One biggie to consider is a psychological stop against an aggressor, most folks go oh hell I been shot and stop the attack in a panic when the fact they are leaking blood comes to their brain. Now you are probably thinking what percentage of people shot stopped their aggressive action after one hit to the torso or head? On average, how many shots did it take for each caliber to stop the attacker? What percentage of attackers did not stop no matter how many rounds or what caliber hit them? But like I said, you are not thinking about the full picture or the desired effect of just ending the aggression. The number one thing to consider is did you end the problem of being attacked?” Walt said with a smile and a better explanation of the graph he was using.
“Now, back to the psychology of getting away from trouble. Often, criminals will stop their attack even though the bullet didn’t physically incapacitate them in any way seriously. They just don’t want to be shot anymore! Most folks are that way. Now that kind of crap happens all the time and I ain’t one to rely on this mechanism to reliably stop an attacker, especially one that might be under the influence of something besides stupidity. Many criminals or aggressors, as you well know, are mentally ill or could be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Those kinds of factors diminish the body’s pain response, not a good thing. We just can’t count on the attacker feeling the pain of the bullet wound and stopping the attack. Aiming well and true with any caliber is important also. I am sure you have heard the old adage “don’t shoot anything you don’t plan on killing!” Walt said and went on to say himself personally and particularly with that small gun believed anything worth shooting once is often times worth shooting twice in rapid succession.
“Oh yea, one thing old eagle eye Walt will tell you, Yoshi, is to consider that If your bullet hits the bad guy’s brain or upper spinal cord with any caliber, it’s likely to be immediately incapacitating and generally fatal. So at close range, he aims for their heads. The only problem I see with relying on that tactic of stopping hostilities is the fact the brain and spinal cord are relatively hard to hit under the pressure of someone shooting back at you. I think that’s why Walt is pointing out the concealability and sur
prise factor of him having that hideout gun concealed on him as a backup. Besides the obvious fact of those places I mentioned being small targets, those key targets are relatively well protected by dense bone, which will occasionally deflect bullets but he ain’t worried about that because he suspects the need for such a weapon to be up-close and last ditch personal.” Thomas declared having finally sided with Walt that the little pistol was both cool as well as serviceable for the role he had designated it to.
“Now, Yoshi, I know that you can agree with me any gun is better than no gun and the best gun to have is the one you got readily accessible when you need one. Say I encountered a motivated attacker coming at me with a knife while my rifle was leaned up against the tree somewhere while I was building a fire. I can empty the five rounds that thing holds quite quickly into someone’s belly and cause them a world of hurt and grief while I am backing up or rolling on the ground with them in a bigger man beating the hell out of me in a strong arm robbery situation. Think about it this way, buddy, if you poke enough holes in vital organs and blood vessels, you will facilitate bleeding. Depending on the number and size of the holes, a person can go unconscious in a matter of seconds from the blood loss (even internal bleeding qualifies here) — or stay in the fight and do some damage before they keel over. I can quote you several examples of attackers who were essentially dead, medically speaking, staying in a fight for ten or more seconds after being shot by any caliber doing some serious damage, continuing to shoot at others, often inflicting casualties before they actually die from blood loss. Blood loss lowers blood pressure, which robs the brain of oxygen, which eventually shuts them down. That’s why I try for head and heart shots so my failure rate doesn’t cost me my life using smaller rounds. However, I chose what I consider a reliable gun that I can conceal readily and carry all the time. Also one I am confident that I can shoot both fast and accurately at vital organs within normal confrontation distances. Caliber simply isn’t all that important to me in the role I have this one slotted for to give someone a nasty surprise if needed with. Otherwise, I would strap on a .45 to my leg and think about it, if I got my druthers I would rather standoff as far as I can with these .22 rifles and plink at you until you were dead than get into a close quarters Wild West gun fight which we both would probably lose!” Walt said describing real world encounters and gun fights he anticipated in this apocalypse.
“I think what Walt is trying to get across to you, Yoshi, is that you are relying far too much on having big pistols to "physical stop” rather than a "psychological stop” somebody. Walt is the kind of a guy that just wants an end to something and not vengeful per se. Course that big honking pistol of yours is a good psychological deterrent; damn good one! I ain’t going to mess with you believe me! However, we can see by those statistics on that paper and believe me I had a problem with the whole concept at first too that people stop their aggressive actions after being hit with just one round regardless of caliber or shot placement. What I believe that those numbers really show is that in the majority of shootings, the person shot merely gives up without becoming truly incapacitated by the bullet. In such an event, almost any bullet will perform admirably to conclude an attack. That is Walt’s gig, he just wants a bit extra if he is disarmed of his long gun. If you want to be prepared to deal with someone who won't give up so easily, I am with you on having a big caliber. But no matter what caliber you use, you have to hit something important in order to stop someone and it seems to me as good of a shot as Walt is, he has both scenarios covered! He can kill something deader than hell with it at close range. I once saw him shoot a rattlesnake threatening him in the eye with it at 20 feet so don’t discount him being able to shoot a human between the eyes with it at the same distance!” Thomas declared ending for now this discussion on what to carry or not caliber wise. Shot placement was the key.
Thomas then said he had to get back to his house and see about his wife Lottie and tell her they weren’t having any fish for dinner after the Yoshi and Walt story he had just heard and wanted to repeat. He did have a half dozen none too tasty grackle birds he had shot with Walt’s pellet gun across the road from his house since he had been gone all morning but Walt told him to keep them and they would talk tomorrow. Guilty farewells were said by him and Yoshi before both started grinning like Cheshire cats as Thomas’s back showed itself walking back up the road at a distance and they proceeded to get the plump duck out of the van for their dinner today.
3
Prepping The Duck
“Ok, Mr. Yoshi, he is finally gone and we got ourselves a yummy duck to deal with. School starts now so let’s get the bird and my entrenching tool out of the truck and we will go down by the creek to clean it after we give it a little dip in that dishwater Lottie and Thomas think I just got going on the fire. You can pluck a chicken or other fowl without doing that dip in boiling water bath thing but it makes life so much easier. I am glad I thought to bs them a might about needing to start a fire and getting you to help do some house cleaning while Thomas was around.” Walt said regarding why he had refused them little birds Thomas had offered a share of. They might know he had brought back something to eat he didn’t want to share with them but his excuse was feasible and his need for getting a fire going could be discounted to that excuse whether they believed him or not.
““Hot water make bird easy to pluck?” Yoshi inquired.
“Oh yea, it loosens them feathers up a bunch. Now then, take those wire cutters over there and snip off that lamp cord. I don’t think that we will be needing it anytime soon seeing that I seriously doubt that the power is ever going to be coming on again ever and bring that with you.” Walt advised pointing at one of his end table lamps that hadn’t been robbed of its electrical cord yet for repurposing.
“You need wire to hang duck in hot water with?” Yoshi asked not understanding the meaning of doing the task Walt had requested of him.
“No, ducks come equipped with feet and heads attached to necks for that dipping in the pot of boiling water bath thing. No, instead, I am going to try to teach you how to earn your keep and snare game around here with the copper wires that are inside of that electrical cord maybe. You see opportunistic varmints like raccoons, possums, coyotes etc. like duck gizzards and goose livers as much as Frenchmen like to make that weird pricy canned pate de foi gras paste mess them snail eaters eat. Now I don’t know how to do that weird French chef cooking to make that supposed delicacy of their countries’ five star restaurants but we ain’t wasting nothing around here and if this creatures innards can attract something else to eat that I do know how to cook for dinner tomorrow, I am declaring it as bait. Don’t waste nothing these days, Yoshi, or you are going to find your backbone meeting your belly button quicker than jack can spit. What it is that we are going to do is hide the evidence of us not sharing this duck for dinner with the neighbors and try to make it up to our unsuspecting left out dinner guests tomorrow by getting some other critter to come to the dinner table tonight or possibly early morning for them to sample and dine on.” Walt said with a crafty knowing smile that there would only be two places set for dinner of tonight’s hard won feast of duck.
“You strange man, Walt! I no understand electrical cord use thing but I learn and I sure I know nothing about who come to dinner tomorrow or next, but I do as you say and try.” Yoshi said confused now more than ever by this enigmatic cowboy who he was somehow stuck with for awhile that was helping him out and teaching him survival tips and tricks.
Walt was enjoying immensely the Japanese man’s confusion and the odd expressive slanted eyed curious looks in his direction about what he had just said and then he began to good naturedly playfully poke at him in hopes of some more odd looks by softly singing a little ditty on the way to get the duck out of the van to mess with him some more and judge the results of aggravating him by improvising a song to get even with all of Yoshi’s snide cowboy wise cracks in his direction that he had endured today. Walt started getting
a little louder with a tune he was humming and mumbling as he noticed Yoshi was paying attention to the words and by the time he got there he was full blown signing.
I’m an old cowhand from the Rio Grande
But my legs ain’t bowed and my cheeks ain’t tanned
I’m a cowboy who never saw a cow
Never roped a steer ’cause I don’t know how
And I sure ain’t fixin’ to start in now
Yippee-yi-o-ki-yay, yippee-yi-o-ki-yay
“Here stick this spare pair in your pocket.” Walt said producing a cheap pair of wire strippers from one of the vans built in little cargo compartments next to the door where the jack and lug wrench were stashed.
Come a cow! cow yippy..
Come a cow cow yay!
Come a cow cow yippy yippy yay !
“Quit worrying yourself Yoshi! I ain’t gone totally foaming at the mouth loony tunes crazy just yet, I am sorry, I was just messing with you and having me some fun. What’s the matter? You are looking kind of strange there, buddy, kind of like your ears might be giving you some kind of trouble maybe, you don’t like my song?” Walt said with a wink and a mischievous grin as he went back to humming his not really a cowboy song as he explained it and shoved the bloody duck in Yoshi’s direction for him to carry it along with his big blaster master pistol as they headed around the side of his prepper shack to the big steaming pot of water he had on the campfire.