by Jamie Knight
I think about how nice our Christmas was yesterday. And also about how at first I’d thought Daniel was giving me an engagement ring.
I hadn’t expected that, but I didn’t know what else to think when I saw the box and I guess I naturally got my hopes up. I love the snow globe necklace he got me – it’s very unique and he obviously put a lot of thought into it – but I wonder if he has any intention to make me his girlfriend soon, if not his fiancée.
It’s not like I can’t ask him about it but I don’t want to be clingy. And my pride would be hurt if I was turned down. I’m thinking that pretty soon, though, we’ll have to talk about it one way or another, if only for Charlie’s sake.
“Was that the guy you used to work with?” Daniel asks, as the lift takes us high up on the mountain, the crisp air stinging the part of my face – mostly my cheeks and nose – that aren’t covered by my ski googles, helmet or scarf.
“Yeah,” I confirm, at the same time Charlie shouts, “That was the guy who made my cake transform. ‘Auto bots, roll to the rescue!’”
Daniel and I look at each other and smile, and I’m glad that he isn’t asking me any more questions about what Matt and I were talking about or why Matt would work here now. Maybe he just thinks it’s better pay or maybe he just isn’t curious.
We’re at the top before we know it, and then skiing down the fast, exhilarating slope. It’s so much fun to be next to Charlie and Daniel the whole time. My, how things have changed since just a little over a month ago when I was teasing the hot, older single dad of the birthday boy and he was trying to get me to come work for him.
“That was fun!” Charlie says, as we get to the bottom. “Can we go get some hot chocolate?”
“Sure,” Daniel says, leading the way to the restaurant area.
“Do they have fruit here to put in it?” Charlie asks me.
I say, “We’ll see!” at the same time that Daniel says, “You two and your fruit in your hot cocoa. That is just the strangest thing.”
“Wait, Daddy!” Charlie says, once we’ve taken our skis off and put them on the racks outside the restaurant, but before we’d headed in side. “We need to do our snow angels!”
“Oh, yeah!” Daniel says, not sounding too thrilled about it.
“I was hoping he’d forget,” he mouths to me.
I laugh but I dutifully get down in the snow to make my angel. Daniel and Charlie do too, and soon we’re standing back up and there are imprints of three angels – two big ones framing one small one – left in the snow.
I snap a picture with my phone really quick, because it really is a cute sight.
“Thanks!” Charlie says. He takes hold of each of our hands as we walk towards the restaurant. “That was fun!”
“Fun for you, maybe,” Daniel laughs. “For me, it was wet and cold!”
“For me, it was a bit of both,” I admit, as I reach down with my other hand to wipe snow from my ski suit, but that’s a futile goal because it’s everywhere.
“Since we’re cold, we just need to get our hot cocoa and fruit!” Charlie exclaims, as we head inside the building that houses the restaurant and locker room and ski rental area. “So, soon we won’t be cold anymore!”
“That’s right, son,” says Daniel.
I look up at the stairs I have to climb in my ski boots to get up to the restaurant area.
“I’m going to go pee before walking up there,” I tell them.
“Catharine has to potty!” Charlie giggles.
“Do you have to potty?” I ask him.
“No!” he announces.
“He went right before we left the house,” Daniel says.
“That’s what I should have done,” I say.
“We’ll meet you up there,” Daniel says. “See you soon.”
We almost go to give each other a peck on the cheek but we stop. We should really fill Charlie in on this whole thing soon so we can just be like a normal couple, I think.
The thought crosses my mind that maybe Daniel just wants to fuck the nanny forever, and that he doesn’t have any real plans for the future with me.
Don’t be ridiculous, I tell myself. He and I have discussed becoming more open with Charlie about us, such as having Christmas dinner together and coming here. So, that’s definitely a step in the right direction.
I tell myself not to worry and that things will naturally progress from here but I’m really not sure what will happen. I want Daniel to step in and romantically propose that I be his official girlfriend and that we inform Charlie, but maybe it’s a conversation I’ll have to take the initiative to bring up.
I’m pondering all of this as I use the restroom, wash my hands, and start to head back out to the lobby so that I can climb those damn stairs without having to dance around really having to pee, when suddenly I walk almost straight into Michelle.
“Woah, sorry!” I automatically blurt out. Then I look at her more quizzically and ask, “Michelle? What are you doing here?”
“I work here,” she says. “Didn’t Matt tell you?”
“Umm, no,” I respond.
Today is just full of surprises. I guess maybe he tried to tell me, when he shouted something up at me about saying hello to Michelle, which now makes a lot more sense that I know that she works here, but I’m honestly shocked. I was hoping to never have to see Michelle again – it was one of the perks of getting fired – and here she is in front of me, as if she’s purposefully wanting to talk to me about something, and I have no idea what.
“Well, the question is, what are you doing here…” she asks, and I’m about to tell her I’m skiing when I realize that wasn’t the end of her question “…when you never came back to the resort to clear out your locker and I was waiting around trying to talk to you?”
“Huh?” I ask, thinking that only Michelle would be egotistical enough to think that if I don’t come back to a place that fires me, it’s all about her. “I didn’t need to get anything.”
“Well, I need you to be a witness in my case,” she says. “So I’m really glad Matt texted me and told me you were here. I’ve been looking all over the slopes for you but here you were in the bathroom. Who are you here with?”
She looks around and guesses, “Becca?” – another of our former co-workers, who I haven’t seen since I left – “Your cake-making friend? What’s her name, Sandy? Sally?”
“Sally,” I say, to answer her question about the name, but I don’t tell her who I’m really here with.
It’s none of her business. And I’m sure she’d be only too thrilled to spread the rumor that I’m here with the same rich asshole and bratty kid – as she’d undoubtedly refer to them – who are the reasons we got fired.
I suddenly feel like I shouldn’t be talking to Michelle, as if she’s out to get me or something. But I think I still have a lot of pent-up anger about what happened. If she had just listened to me and shut the fuck up with her rude comments in front of the guests, we wouldn’t have even been fired, and she wouldn’t have to be filing a lawsuit.
A lawsuit, I realize, as soon as the thought leaves my head.
She said she’s filing a lawsuit. For firing her?
“What kind of lawsuit are you talking about?” I ask her, skeptically. “And why do you need my help with it?”
“The lawsuit in which I’m suing the ski resort for wrongful termination,” she says, as if this should be obvious. “You should sue them too. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine, but I need you to speak up for me in mine. In fact, my lawyer was talking about maybe having to serve a subpoena on you if we couldn’t find you through normal channels so I’m sure glad you showed up here…”
“Wrongful termination? Subpoena?”
I’m so confused I can only repeat these phrases full of legal jargon while my mind is running a million words a minute, trying to figure out what’s talking about. I feel defensive, wondering why her lawyer would need to track me down and serve me with paperwork or drag me int
o court. Michelle is even more annoying than I thought.
“Yeah, it’s when you want a witness to appear but they don’t want to, or something. You make them show up so they can back you up and say what happened,” she says.
“I mean, I know what a subpoena is, more or less, but what do you want me to say about what happened?”
“Are you kidding?” she asks, her mouth hanging open as if I just told her that a comet crashed into earth and we’re spinning in the opposite direction now. “That awful place fired me simply because some asshole complained that I wasn’t nice enough to his snot-nosed kid. That kid was the one who spilled apple juice all over me, basically attacking me first. All I did was try to put him in his place, which his rich, shitty excuse of a father should have been doing all along.”
I don’t like anything she’s saying but I try not to get too offended by the insulting words she’s calling Daniel and Charlie so that I can focus on the other big picture stuff she’s telling me and try to understand what’s going on.
“What do you mean, some asshole complained?” I ask her. “Who complained?”
“That guy with the kid who was having the big party and the big crazy cake,” she says.
I just look at her, blinking, wanting to ask how she knows and for more information but not wanting to give it away that I’ve been sleeping with said guy.
“You do know why we got fired, right?” she asks me.
“I mean, yeah, they said that we were inappropriate and rude to that guy,” I tell her. “And we were. But I didn’t know that there were complaints made.”
“So, you thought that, what, Matt or someone snitched on us?” she asks, now looking as confused as I’ve been.
“Well, yeah, something like that,” I think.
Or that you were trying to get me in trouble to save yourself.
“Look, Matt wouldn’t do that. He left because of how they fired us like that. So did practically everyone who worked there.”
“Really?” I ask, feeling rather touched.
“Yeah. I don’t think any of them would have turned us in. When that bitch from HR called me, she said the exact words that we used. Silver spoon and all that stuff…”
“Yeah, she said that to me too,” I say.
“So, what exactly did you think happened? Obviously that asshole complained about us and got us fired. That makes a lot more sense than Matt or another of our friends from there running to snitch on us, you know?”
“True,” I say, gulping and trying not to let her notice.
“Why are you acting like you’re so surprised?” she asks.
I’ve never liked Michelle’s blunt attitude and I think she was way too blunt with the customers that day in particular, but she is making a whole lot of sense right now. And she is looking at me like she’s genuinely confused instead of trying to start trouble.
Did Daniel get me fired because he wanted to make it so that I had to work for him?
It sure does look that way.
“I just… I had never considered the exact circumstances of how we got fired,” I tell her, since she’s still looking at me like she’s waiting for an answer to her question.
“Well, I hope you put the pieces together in time to testify for my lawsuit,” she says. “And maybe you should bring one of your own too, because it’s just wrong for them to so quickly dispose of their staff all because we were bending over backwards to do what the rich customers wanted and that still wasn’t good enough for them. Maybe we should sue the customer too. Don’t you think it’s vindictive for him to have called and gotten us fired like that?”
I open my mouth but just then she looks up, behind me, and says, “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Of course.”
I look back and see that Daniel and Charlie have come to check on me.
“This makes perfect sense now,” Michelle says, shaking her head in disgust. “No wonder you never put two and two together. You haven’t been thinking with your head at all.”
She walks away from me just as Daniel and Charlie get close to me.
“Is everything alright?” Daniel asks. “Who was that?”
I just look at him. It’s clear he doesn’t even remember her.
“I have to go,” I say suddenly.
“What?” he asks.
“Catharine, no, don’t go!” Charlie says.
“I’m sorry, but I have to.”
“See?” Daniel says, getting mad now. “This is exactly why I was afraid to let… this… happen when Charlie…”
He drifts off, obviously not wanting to say it in front of Charlie. He didn’t want to make me official because he was afraid it wouldn’t work out and hurt Charlie. But now it’s not working out because he went and got me fired, forcing me to have to work for him, and that’s no way to begin a “relationship,” or whatever this is. So, we’re even, I guess.
“I know,” I tell him. “That’s why it’s better that we don’t let it happen.”
I hurry out to get my skis and head home, wondering why I was ever dumb enough to let my heart get involved in this in the first place.
Chapter 13 - Catharine
Two weeks have passed, not to mention New Year’s, which I spent with friends but thought of Daniel. In fact, not a day has gone by out of those two weeks that I haven’t thought about them and missed them.
But it was getting way too complicated and I was unsure whether Daniel had gotten me fired. I started to tell myself that if I was that unsure then I should ask him. But then I would second guess myself and think that it means I don’t trust him so I shouldn’t even think about moving forward with someone I don’t trust.
I don’t even know if he would want me back. He was pretty pissed when I stormed off, and I guess I can’t blame him. Unless he did get Michelle and me fired, and then I blame him for a lot of things.
I’ve been really anxious and not sleeping well because of this. My stomach has been upset and I’ve even thrown up.
But this morning, as I get out of bed and immediately feel queasy, I begin to realize I might have bigger problems to worry about. What I thought was anxiety might be morning sickness.
Am I fucking pregnant?
I hurry down to the drugstore and buy a pregnancy test. I take it right there in the bathroom and the lines waste no time turning pink – both of them. The one that means positive, too.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
On my way back from the drugstore, I’m afraid I might hyperventilate. I call my friend Amanda, to calm me down.
There’s no way I’m calling Sally. She’s mad at me for even ditching Daniel at the resort, and has been telling me I should call and talk to him. She thinks this was all a big misunderstanding and that maybe Michelle is up to no good. She remembers her as being bitchy when she was there doing the cake.
She would yell at me and say that if I would have talked to Daniel I wouldn’t be facing this alone, and I’m not ready to face that. Or maybe I’m just worried about worst case scenario as I don’t think she’d actually yell at me but I just feel too stupid to call her. Amanda is the one person I think I can confide in. Unlike Gia and Sally, she’s not in a relationship, hasn’t been pregnant, isn’t all “ga ga goo goo” over a guy, so she’ll be most objective. Maya would be, too, but I know that she’s at work right now.
“Hello,” Amanda says when she picks up.
“Hi.”
“You okay?” she asks.
It’s as if she can immediately sense something’s wrong.
“No,” I tell her, honestly. “Nothing is okay at all.”
Suddenly, I’m crying, and Amanda says she’ll be right over. I’m so grateful for good friends like her.
An hour later, she’s making me crackers and peanut butter after I’ve gotten done spilling my guts.
“Honey, I know this seems bad, but it’ll be okay,” she says. “You need to eat. First things first.”
“I can’t keep anything down,” I tell her.
“Here, try these.”
She passes me the crackers and I find them surprisingly palatable.
“Thanks!” I tell her.
“No problem. I’m the oldest of seven so I saw my mom pregnant lots, and I’ve had pregnant sisters.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of experience,” I muse.
“Yeah, and it’s why I know I never want to be pregnant.” After looking at me, she quickly follows that statement up with, “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, sighing. “I didn’t want to be pregnant either! But now…”
I rub my belly, even though I know there’s nothing big in there yet. I just can’t believe it. I’m in absolute shock still.
“Look, I hate to say Sally’s right, but maybe you should talk to Daniel.”
“I… can’t.”
“I mean, even though you’re mad at him. Maybe just tell him about the baby and see how he reacts.”
“How can I separate the two things?” I ask her. “In my head, it’s like the father of my baby got me fired. That’s shitty.”
“You don’t know that,” she reminds me. “It sounds like a whirlwind romance but it also sounds like you were really into him. Do you feel you know the type of person he is? Do you know who he really is, inside?”
I look at her and realize she’s right.
Daniel wouldn’t have done that. There has to be some kind of mistake in Michelle’s logic, although I can’t exactly point out what it is at the moment.
Daniel is not a vindictive guy. He doesn’t even speak ill of Charlie’s mom, who was pretty shitty, by the sounds of it, and really hurt Charlie by leaving. He’s rich and kind of clueless about how the rest of the world lives but that doesn’t mean he has a bad heart or that he’d force me to work for him by purposefully taking away my other options.
But I still don’t know if I’ll have the courage to face Daniel. Especially if I was wrong. How the hell would that go down?
“Umm, I know I left in a huff at the ski resort but now I’m turning up to say I’m pregnant and it’s yours?”
That probably sounds eerily similar to how it went down with Charlie’s mom. Even though I have no intention of abandoning this baby.