by Peyton Banks
I exhale a deep breath, trying to keep my composure and not let off that she’s caught me red-handed. Besides, I don’t know what she actually saw and employ the motto innocent until proven otherwise.
“I was only going to get water last night and when I reached midway down the stairs, I saw you two making out on the sofa. I wasn’t about to interrupt because it’s about damn time you got some,” she teases. “So I abandoned the idea of quenching my thirst and headed back to bed.”
My shoulders hang low, and I throw my head back to let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, nothing happened. Or looks like it’s going to happen,” I admit.
She frowns. “Why not?”
I shrug with both arms out at my sides before dropping them again. “Hell if I know,” I scoff. “The entire thing is just fucking confusing. He’s fucking confusing. At first, I was pissed off with you and Jas for the whole setup, especially after he acted like he wasn’t interested. He knew he was coming to meet me but brushed me off—”
“Actually—”
“Then out of nowhere, he’s more…friendly and kisses me but…” I pause and wave her off. “You know what, it doesn’t even matter.” I grip the knob and push into my room, leaving her out in the hall while I clear my mind.
I must admit I’m slightly embarrassed Karen not only caught me making out with the guy, but I allowed this thing with him to get under my skin. This is not me. I don’t act out and get emotional over people who simply haven’t earned those sorts of reactions from me. Well… I don’t show that I’m affected by things, especially not men. I’ve worked hard to convince my friends that I’m never fazed by relationships or the lack thereof. I know they don’t buy it, but it’s a lot easier than having to constantly deal with them wanting to hook me up to fill the void they’re sure I have. Yes, I get lonely, and I damn sure miss sex, but I don’t thrive for or desire a relationship like they do.
Of course, they feel otherwise. To them it’s just a matter of finding the right guy. But for me it’s more along the lines of: what’s the damn point? This entire scenario is the perfect example of why I focus on work and work alone. You never know what you’re going to get from a person, even if they tell you one thing. Zander agreed to this blind date, but instead he’s been as wishy-washy as a woman on her period. I simply can’t deal with the headache.
When I finally rejoin the masses downstairs, the front door is wide open with both girls standing in the entryway. My foot lands on the hardwood flooring, sending a gentle thud through the space, catching their attention. I scurry over to the sink to rinse my hands and make myself something the drink. I freeze and glare out the window at the boys outside shoveling the last of the snow blocking in Zander’s truck. From here, I see the road is mostly clear, but I can’t tell how far down the plows actually went. My gaze falls on Zander who’s flinging dirt-covered slush over his shoulders. He’s wearing that bun I’ve grown to like, and even though I want to be pissed with him, I can’t deny my attraction to him.
The faucet jerks from the water pressure, and I snap my gaze downward to shut it off. I sigh and turn to aim for the fridge. Karen is watching me, a sympathetic expression on her face. But I ignore her and open the freezer and load several cubes of ice into a cup and pour juice over it. She redirects her attention, and for that I am grateful. I saunter over to the recliner and flop down on it, pulling a knee to my chest before taking my phone from my back pocket. Pointless really, we’ve barely had a cellular signal all weekend. But at least I can scroll through my pictures and appear to be busy.
A few moments later, the guys reenter, stomping their boots on the doormat along the way. Noah’s voice fills the once-silent room as he complains of frostbitten fingertips. Ian removes his coat and snags a few water bottles from the kitchen, throwing one to Noah and the other to Zander, who slowly closes the door behind him. He darts his gaze toward me but quickly allows it to falter when he sees me staring back at him.
“We were thinking about taking a quick hike, since they’ve cleared most of the paths.” Noah breaks the seal off his cap and takes one large gulp.
“That sounds fun.” Jasmine glances around for acceptance. “Well, maybe not for Ariya,” she teases when she sees the yeah right look I give her.
“You’re not going to go with us?” Noah asks.
“Hiking isn’t really my thing. But I’ll be cheering you on from right here in this chair,” I joke.
“Boooooo,” Ian adds. “Zander, you in?”
“Naw, y’all go on. I’ll be heading out once they’ve finished clearing the path.”
I perk up at his statement, tucking a braid behind my ear and pretend I don’t care about his announcement. Truth is, I didn’t think I cared about his leaving until the words left his mouth. Now, there’s a pit in my stomach at the thought of it. I take a sip of my drink and blink away any notion of my reaction and wrap my arm around my bent knee.
“All right then. Grab your coats,” Noah says to Jasmine and Karen who run off upstairs and return a few minutes later dressed for the weather.
“Ariya, are you sure you don’t want to go?” Karen asks.
“You’re not going to die,” Jasmine adds with a hand on her hip.
“But see, you don’t know that. Just my luck, I’ll fuck around and slip on black ice.”
“Oh my God. I’m so done with you.” Jasmine shakes her head on the way outside.
I bid them goodbye, watching through the window from my seat as they descend from the porch and hang a right onto the newly plowed road. Awkwardness looms over me when I bring my gaze back into the room and realize I am now alone with Zander. He’s on the far side of the house with his back pressed into the countertop, while staring straight ahead. I can tell by the stiffness in his shoulders he’s avoiding looking at me. A part of me wants to ignore his ass, too, but on the other hand, I have questions.
His radio buzzes to life when the woman’s voice I’ve grown to recognize as the chief ranger blares out at him. He lifts it to his lips, pushing the button to let her know she has his attention.
“Steve is almost done clearing out your side of the mountain. Maybe another ten minutes, and you can get back on patrol. There’s still some work to be done up near cabins twenty thru twenty-seven. The winds knocked down some branches. Once we get that cleared, he’ll be able to handle the rest.”
“Copy. I’ll gear up to head out. I’ll get as close as I can and help them with the debris.”
“That works. Just be safe, there’s still some ice patches.”
“Will do. I’ll check in a little later.” He sits his cup in the sink and leaves the kitchen, aiming for the coat hanging on the back of the dining chair behind me. His gaze darts to mine then drops to the floor as he scurries to retrieve his belongings.
I lower my foot from the recliner and stand to face him. “That’s it? You’re going to pretend I’m not sitting here and just leave?” I hunch my shoulders with my palms open.
“Ariya… I told you this wouldn’t work. I’m sorry but I have to go.” He balls his outerwear into his fist and shoot for the door, but I make quick to cut him off.
Weaving between the couch and tattered chair, I stand in the walkway, blocking his exit, forcing him to deal with me. “Actually, you have another ten minutes. That’s plenty of time for you to help me understand.”
“What is there to understand? I told you—”
“Zander, you haven’t told me anything. You’ve tried feeding me some empty excuse, but I’m not buying it. I really don’t get you and all the back and forth actions, but I think you at least owe me a logical explanation.”
He sighs and rakes his hands over his face before slouching his shoulders.
“You’ve somehow got it in your head that things could never work. Taking the next leap all by yourself. But what’s more confusing is, if you feel that way, why agree to be here? Why kiss me as many times as you have? I’m not going to beg anyone to choose me, that’s a decision you’ll ne
ed to make on your own. But why do any of it in the first place?”
“I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn’t expect to want to kiss you—”
“But you did, and what? Now you regret it?”
“Yes.” He pauses, squeezing his eyes tight.
“Wow. Well, don’t let me stop you then.” I slide out of his way, forcing myself to remain coy and not show just how hard his words sting.
He huffs. “That came out wrong. I don’t mean I regret kissing you. I regret allowing myself to.”
“Seriously, dude, just stop. I don’t know if you felt like that was supposed to sound any better, but it doesn’t.”
“No. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”
“Really?” I scoff, shaking my head at his continued pursuit of cutting deep.
“I like you, Ariya. Which is a little crazy considering we’ve only known each other for a few days. I kissed you because I’ve wanted to since I saw you coming down the stairs the first day. But I’m no good for you.”
“Don’t you think that’s my decision to make? My right to determine if someone is bad for me? I’m just asking for a little consistency here.”
“We’re two different kinds of people.” His voice is slow and broken.
“We’re supposed to be. I certainly don’t want to kiss myself. I mean, I think I’m a great kisser, so that might not be a bad idea, but…” I joke.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“And I’ll kick your ass.”
He laughs, and I smile.
Zander squares his shoulders while letting his gaze trail my body. With a deep breath, he licks his lips and tosses his coat on the back of the chair before rushing for me. He cups my face, searching my eyes for something I’m not quite sure of. I lift up on my toes to close the tiny space between us, inviting him to take the plunge and kiss me. I know it doesn’t solve anything or answer any of my questions, but the desire between us is evident, and all I can think of right now is satisfying that itch. He takes the hint and presses his mouth against mine while pulling me into him. A hand slides down my spine and back up until he’s taken a fistful of my braids.
He tugs at my hair softly, yet forceful, exposing my neck to allow himself access to one of my sensitive spots. Zander buries himself between my shoulder and right earlobe where he plants a kiss, then another before biting into my flesh. My mouth falls open at the sensation his teeth marks sends coursing through me. The slight pain gradually turns into pleasure with the circling of his tongue along that same spot.
Bending his knees, he scoops me into his arms, and I squeal from the sudden change in movement. My legs find their way around his waist as he plants his hands under my ass for support and carries me over to the back of the sofa. Zander doesn’t let go or sit me down right away. Instead, we stand there, making out a little while longer. Now, I’m not what one would consider overweight, but I’m no stick figure either, so the effortlessness in his ability to lift, carry, and hold me is turning me on. A surefire way to melt my panties right off my body.
He lowers me and steps away with his hands still on either side of my head and his chest rapidly rising and falling. “I’m broken, Ariya. I can’t be fixed,” he pleads.
“Who says you need to be?” I grip the tail of his shirt for balance while staring in his eyes. The pain I see there saddens me, making me want more than ever to help take his mind off whatever’s haunting him. “I don’t wanna fix you. But I’d love to be your distraction.”
Our lips meet again, this time more ferocious than the last. I don’t know what demons he’s fighting, but the aggression in his touch makes me feel he’s ready to take it all out on me. Not in a way that worries me, but in a way that tells me just how bad he needs this. Something could be said about the potential dysfunction of this situation, but if I’m being honest, I need it as much as he does.
8
Zander
I push her cardigan vest-like thingy off her shoulders, nuzzling my nose along her neck. She slips out of it and regains her hold on the tail of my shirt. I inhale deeply, taking in the subtle scent of honey before licking and suckling the spot above her collarbone. Using my tongue, I trace the cursive text that’s tattooed into her skin. Her head falls back, and when I rise to stare at her, I find her eyes filled with heat. I lock my fingers in her braids again, holding her in place and lean in to kiss her.
Her hands roam freely over my biceps and up over my shoulders where she clamps them together behind my head. I scoop her up with one hand under her thigh and the other against her back and walk wide-legged to the arm of the sofa. Without breaking our embrace, I release her, enjoying the way her body feels sliding down mine. My limbs tingle in excitement, begging to touch and feel her all over me. Skin to skin, with no barriers in the way. I’ve known this woman all of three days, yet having her in my arms feels so familiar. Being here with her, holding her feels so natural and is the reason why I know we’ll never work.
Ariya yanks my shirt up and over my head, letting it fall to the floor beside us. Her nails scrape at my waist and spine. I bite down on my bottom lip, imagining her doing just that while I’m inside her. I remove her top and trail the curve of her breast with my knuckle, stopping at her nipple. I drag my fingers together slowly until they close around her hardened bud before pinching it and watching her reaction. With one simple gesture, I see she’s sensitive to the touch and wonder how much or how little it’ll take to get her off.
I bend down to meet her chest with my mouth, sucking that same nipple through the lacy material. She arches her back, giving herself to me. My dick strains behind my zipper, fighting to be freed, and I adjust myself for comfort. As if on cue, she reaches between us, finding my crotch, and runs her grasp along my length through my pants. She moans, and the sound alone is enough to drive me wild. She fumbles with my belt, slipping her hands past my waistband, gripping me. I jolt from the sensation of her soft touch caressing my shaft. I groan, and my body shudders when she rubs the underside of my head.
With rapid breaths, I peer down at her. “I don’t have any protection.”
Ariya releases my dick and yanks my khakis from my hips. “Are you safe?” she asks.
I nod. “I haven’t been with anyone in three years, and I was clean then.”
“Same. Maybe we should say a prayer.”
I frown and she laughs.
“Sorry. I joke when I’m nervous.” She takes me in her grasp again, tightening her fingers around my manhood. “But I don’t care, I just want you inside me.” Her breaths are ragged, needy, and her gaze explores my bare chest, landing between my legs.
“Fuck,” I roar, her aggression heightening my desire to give her what she wants. With my pants at my ankles, I unbutton her jeans and flip her around. “Bend over.”
She does as told, perching her sweet brown ass over the arm of the sofa, angling herself just right. My hands ache to wander every inch of her being. Running my thumb along the seat of her panties, I’m met with her dripping arousal. The moisture seeps through the fabric, dampening my finger, indicating she’s more than ready. I grip myself, wiping away the beads of precum before sliding her underwear to the side and saddling up behind her. Positioned like this, booty in the air and legs pressed tightly together, her pussy peeks out at me. I fight back a moan and rub my tip along her slit, coating myself with her wetness.
I inch forward, pushing inside her fortress, slowly at first. The last thing I need is to spill my seed before I’m ready. But she thrusts back at me, discounting any plans of priming my fit. I grab her hips, driving mine forward, burying myself to the hilt. She yelps, and for a second I think I’ve hurt her but soon learn that’s not the case. She claws at my thighs, motioning for me to give it all to her.
I reach for her braids again, taking a fistful, using it to hold her in place while I pound into her. The slight chill in the air dissipates and sweat pricks my skin, droplets fall from my forehead, trailing down her spin
e. All the tension and pent-up frustration leaves my body, replaced with hunger and vengeance. The harder I thrust, the louder she moans, and this shit is amazing. My stomach tightens from the pleasure that builds inside me, making its way to my sac, and I know it won’t be long till I find my relief. I reach around her waist, finding her clit and circling it, hoping to help her meet her orgasm as well. Her muscles tighten around my dick, and I know its within reach. She moves my hand, replacing it with her own, fucking herself while I fuck her hole. I place both of mine to her hips, digging my nails into her flesh, and pick up speed.
“Gahh… Fuck,” I belt out. My balls stiffen, but I refuse to let go without her.
I don’t have to wait long. Her pussy convulses at the same time as her cum pools around me. I lean back, wanting to take in the sight of my dick dipping in and out of the creamy mess we’ve made. One more stroke is all it takes to bring my climax to the forefront. I hold the base of my shaft and pull out of her, moaning loudly while I jerk my seed all over her ass.
Ariya stays bent over, out of breath and visibly satisfied. I watch her, admiring the way my cum looks against her skin. Pushing out a breath, I pull my pants up and secure them on my waist and race to get paper towels from the kitchen. I clean her off then hand her a new sheet. She takes it, using it to wipe between her legs before redressing and standing to face me.
She’s gleaming with sweat as she pulls her top down. We gather ourselves in silence. Her watching my every move and me avoiding hers. Giving in to her, having her, should’ve made a difference, but it hasn’t. If anything, matters are worse now, and I hate that I gave in to the temptation. She deserves so much more than this. My life is destruction, and I stay to myself to eliminate the chance of bringing the darkness I feel into someone else’s world.
“I needed that,” she says, breaking the deafening stillness between us.