by Peyton Banks
He chuckles and scuffs his shiny, expensive black shoes against the walkway. “This is probably not gonna go over very well, but can I come in?”
My eyes widen slightly, an eyebrow arches incredulously, and Tanner holds up his hands with a laugh.
“I promise I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. To be honest, I just wanted to relax a little bit before driving back home.”
I look him up and down with a critical eye before I shrug, then turn to lead the rest of the way to the front door. He can hang out on the deck while I go to sleep if it keeps him safe for his drive back.
It’s the least I can do since he picked up the bar tab.
12
From the first minute flame, it takes twenty-seven minutes to engulf a building in beautiful destruction. I’ve spent a portion of my time finding the perfect spot to allow my rage at being tossed aside for another man to run wild.
It’s old, abandoned, and a little worse for wear, but the dry leaves and debris helped the fire start faster than any other place I’ve chosen before.
Paramount Ranch has been burned to the ground in the past, but not like this.
Not ever like this.
I made sure to use the bit of time I allowed myself to make the perfect design for her. I want to be positive that there’s no way she can miss it this time and I hope that the constant of seeing it will help her make a correlation to my crimes.
Though I don’t see what I do as such.
It’s an art, and every artist knows their next piece has to be better than the last if they want to stay relevant. After seeing her with another man, I know that my relevancy is slipping with her, and I need to keep her attention.
I need her to see me.
And that’s why I started with orange.
Yellow doesn’t seem to get her attention anymore, and while I like to start at the beginning, sometimes the middle of the song is where the most meaningful parts are sung.
You have to remember me, I think as I close my eyes for a moment on the walk back to where she’s enjoying an evening with a stranger. You have to know that I still care about you; that I need you to feel like a normal man again.
By the time I arrived at the venue again, I saw something that began to burn white hot inside of me.
White; the color I fear the most.
She was leaving with him and she looked a little sad.
Is he moving her against her will?
Do I rush in and save her?
No.
I can’t.
Not until she sees me.
Not until she says my name again.
Soon, I think sadly as I watch her get into his car.
13
Tanner’s been sitting on my couch watching television. The top buttons of his dress shirt are undone, and he looks so damn comfortable right now that I almost feel bad about getting up to go to my room to put on my pajamas.
He doesn’t seem to notice or care though once I decide that I’d rather be comfortable than cordial. Maybe I’ll spend forty-five minutes in my bedroom so he can see what it feels like to be abandoned by your host, but I won’t. I’ve never been very good at an eye for an eye, and that’s why I decided to be a firefighter.
I like helping people and things that can’t help themselves and putting the bad guys behind bars makes me feel proud. It puts them on a proverbial time out and sometimes it’s enough to keep them from setting another fire.
But not this new guy, I tell myself thoughtfully as I pull my dress over my head and toss it onto my bed. He definitely seems to be after something important since his fires are becoming larger, bolder, and more frequent. Though it has been a day since I’ve had to worry about him starting anything else, I know he’ll strike again soon.
I pull my sleep tank over my head and shimmy into a pair of comfortable shorts wondering what I’m missing. I know his calling card now because I finally sat down long enough to figure it out. The fact that I happened to be half asleep on the toilet is irrelevant.
“Makena!”
I startle slightly as I walk quickly out of my bedroom and back toward the living room. Tanner is sitting up now, the remote in one hand, lazily flipping through channels.
“What’s up?” I ask him curiously. He turns to glance at me, a wolfish grin slipping across his lips as he let out an equally toned low whistle, and I blush. I stand there awkwardly while he gives me a once over, then gets to his feet.
“Well, I was going to tell you that I’m ready to head out, but …”
I blanch.
But what?
Tanner gets to his feet as he drops the remote onto the couch and walks the few steps to where I’m standing, then clasps his hands behind his back, the feeling of his steady breathing becoming hot against my forehead. This fucker is tall, and he seems to be enjoying the fact that I’m not by using his size to intimidate me.
“Wanna have a little fun before I go?” he asks in a seductive voice. Before I have the chance to come up with a corny excuse to get out of this, he uses one of his hands to gently run it down the length of my arm, causing the small hairs to stand up. I can see the goosebumps he’s giving me and when I glance back up into his eyes, I wonder if I do. “Don’t worry, Dad will never know.”
I have a tight fistful of Tanner’s hair in the palm of my hand. This man is amazing with his tongue, and the more time he takes lapping me up like an alley cat, the harder I pull. He chuckles against my wet opening as he pulls back slightly to grin up at me. I open my eyes for a moment, wondering why he’s stopped when he makes a show of licking his middle finger, then sliding it into my hot core.
I gasp and take in a deep breath as he goes back to licking my clit and finger fucking me. I didn’t realize how hard up I was for some action until he took my clothes off and started to kiss as much of my bare flesh as he could manage.
With a grunt, I begin to roll my hips.
Tanner seems to be enjoying the movement because he begins to move his finger faster as his tongue also quickens pace. I let out a sharp breath as he keeps this new pace with me, grinding against his face and finger. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to relent until I—
“Holy shit,” I breathe out after my pussy begins to convulse on his finger. He chuckles again as he keeps pushing his finger in and out of me at a slower pace, then finally pulls out after my walls have stopped clenching against him.
“Well, that was easy,” he teases as he grins and moves up the bed. I giggle in slight embarrassment as he tilts his head and runs the tip of his wet finger along my lower lip. “Open.”
I don’t know exactly how to tell him that I’m not interested in tasting my own pussy, when he slides his finger into my mouth regardless. I gag slightly since I wasn’t expecting it, and he laughs as he pulls it out.
“If you can’t handle my finger in your mouth, then I’m sure my dick is out of the question.”
I feel challenged and a little outraged, so I decide to call his bluff.
“Move,” I tell him evenly as I put my hands on his chest and push him away from me.
Tanner sits back on the bed, palms out as he watches me with curious, teasing eyes and I reach up to secure my ponytail again. I get to my knees and move over to where he’s sitting before reaching down for his cock and stroking it.
He’s already hard so this isn’t to get him ready; it’s more to prepare myself because it happens to be a little larger than any dick I’ve ever taken before.
He rests a hand gently on the back of my head as I take a deep breath and lower my mouth onto the head of his dick. As his fingers tangle into my hair, I begin to move my head up and down, swirling my tongue along the length of his manhood as he leans back slightly and moans.
I don’t plan on going any further than this, especially not when he gently pushes my head down and forces me to gag by swallowing his entire dick, but I guess it’s fun and at the very least will take my mind off of work for a little bit.
14
I feel like my heart is breaking.
I followed them as best as I could and snuck around the side of her home after they went inside. There’s a deck right outside of her bedroom bay doors and I’ve been hiding under the table, waiting to see what’s happening inside.
I almost fell asleep until the light in the bedroom turned on.
I almost banged on the window in a fit of rage when he pushed the curtains open, stark naked, harder than I’ve ever been, with her sitting on the bed expectantly behind him.
I’ve watched while he’s slid his fingers into something that doesn’t belong to him. I’ve bitten back tears as he’s tasted the one thing that should have always been mine, and when she returned the favor by slipping his engorged cock into her mouth, I almost screamed at them to stop.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The worst is now.
I’m watching as he pulls her top off, the uncertain look on her face prominent to me outside, but somehow missed by him who’s so fucking close to the one person I need.
Then she smiles as she lays back.
She gives him unspoken permission to ravage her body and I hate them both for it.
For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I feel hate for Makena Washington flowing through me and I don’t know what to do now. It won’t matter if she notices me because she won’t care. It will be of no consequence when she finally sees me because I’m not the one she wants.
It’s him.
It was always him, and I’m nothing more than a shadow marring her life that she chooses to ignore.
I turn my face away from the show as she begins to dig her nails into the flesh of his arms. I wipe the tears away as he begins to push into her because I don’t want to see the euphoria she’s experiencing at the touch of another man.
I have to detach myself from my feelings for her now.
If she doesn’t notice orange, then she’ll have to notice white.
15
It’s two thirty in the morning when the vibration of my phone sitting on the nightstand wakes me up. Tanner’s arm is wrapped loosely around me and I can hear the evenness of his breathing, so I know he’s still sound asleep. I reach over to grab the phone before it wakes him up, then slide to accept the call when I see it’s from Derick and slip out from underneath Tanner’s embrace.
“What’s up?” I ask in a soft, groggy tone as I walk toward my bathroom. After I’ve stepped inside, I close the door as quietly as I can while I sit on the edge of the bathtub and wait.
“Paramount Ranch is engulfed!” he shouts into the receiver.
I pull the phone away from my ear and grimace at the loudness of his voice at this hour but get back to my feet. “I’m on my way.”
I disconnect the call and head back into my bedroom. Tanner has his back to me now as I enter the room, which works out just fine since I have to slip out without waking him up. I walk over to my closet, pull out a pair of loose-fitting jeans, grab a graphic t-shirt and my work boots before I make my way toward the living room where I quickly redress myself.
Once I’ve got my keys in my hand, I rub my eyes tiredly as I scribble a note for him and toss it on the kitchen counter.
There’s no way in hell I’ll be back before he wakes up and I don’t want him to feel dismissed. The note tells him to have some coffee and stay for as long as he likes. I sign my name at the bottom and beneath that I leave my phone number as a p.s.
He may not have been the best date I’ve ever had, but maybe he’s different when he’s not forced to show up to places he doesn’t want to be at.
I reach into the coat closet in the living room and pull out a jacket, slipping it on, before I walk toward the front door and head out.
Seems my little firebug struck faster than any of us expected him to.
The half an hour ride to Agoura Hills was easy and uneventful.
That is until I saw how bright the orange tinge was against the sky the closer I got.
D wasn’t lying when he said the Ranch was engulfed because I could smell the timber burning from miles away.
Once I arrived, I parked down the street and ran up to the group of firefighters that were working on putting out the blaze. Since I’m not dressed for work right now, I can’t go in and do anything until they’re done and one of them lends me their helmet and suit.
I spot Dom, still in his suit and tie, staring grimly at the fire raging against the will of the men and women trying to put it out, and I jog over to him.
“What the hell happened?” I shout over the roar of the flames.
“This prick doesn’t seem to want to take more than a day or two off now,” he replies in an even tone.
I let out a sigh as I stand next to Dom, both of us watching and feeling hopeless as the fire continues to rage.
“I don’t think they’re going to be able to snuff this one,” I mumble to myself, to which Dom reaches over and ribs me with his elbow. When our eyes meet, he gives me a stern stare and I nod.
No man is ever defeated until his last breath is taken from him.
That’s his motto; the exact same one that he instilled in me when I first took the job. He wasn’t being chauvinistic, just general in his speaking, and I try to remember that mantra every time I feel like I’m facing a fire that seems impossible to beat.
Five hours.
That’s how long it took for D and the rest of the crew to put the blaze out and I watched the sunrise over the smoke. The light broke through in small slivers, giving us a glimmer of hope and I think that renewed the determination of each of them, pushing them to fight harder.
To see the sun through a billow of angry smoke means the fire is almost defeated and it was the smallest of motivations that helped them see this through to the end.
Derick walks over to me, and without a word, hands me his helmet and jacket. I put a hand on his shoulder and smile as best as I can to let him know that he’s done an amazing job leading the charge when I was nowhere to be found. He gives me a small smile of gratitude in return as he goes over and leans against his firetruck, hands on his knees, taking in deep breaths.
Dom falls into step beside me as we head into what’s left of the nearest building first. The Los Angeles County Fire Chief gives me a cold stare as he joins us, and I roll my eyes at him.
“This isn’t the time for territorial bullshit. I think this is my guy so I’m here to see what I can find,” I explain him as patiently as I can.
“Fine by me, little girl. I’ll expect a report emailed to me by the end of the day,” he quips before he turns on his heel and swaggers away with his nose up in the air.
“Did he just call me—”
“Fuck him, Makena. Let’s get to work,” Dom says as he pushes open the door to the general store and disappears inside.
I shake my head as I follow him, wondering when Dom became my father too, but I know we’re here to get a job done and not to let our egos get in the way.
However, once I’m inside, it takes next to nothing for me to see it.
The exact same fucking pattern that my arsonist likes to leave behind.
Scorched onto the wooden floor of the general store is his calling card.
A massive lily drawn perfectly by accelerant and painted to life by the fire he set to get our attention.
16
I snuck into the house when she left. I couldn’t find it in my heart to go home and leave her alone with him. Even though she wounded my heart deeper than that day so many years ago when I realized I may never see her again, I know she needs me more than ever.
I made sure that I was as quiet as could be as to not to wake him up. I don’t want him to tell her that I was here, and I certainly don’t want him to try to be a hero. It would end in his death and I would have to burn Makena’s home to the ashes to hide the evidence which is something I’d rather not do.
Stay asleep, you fucking thief, I thought bitterly as I wandered past him into the hallway.
<
br /> I’ve walked from room to room, opening each door and stepping in to inspect it. I guess I’ve been looking for any sign that she might have held me close to her heart like I have her, but so far, I haven’t found anything.
Nothing from her childhood.
No pictures of her family.
No pictures of friends.
Not a single trace that we even met each other so long ago.
I move quickly, doing my best not to disturb anything. Even if I did, she wouldn’t suspect anyone other than the bastard on her bed for rifling through her personal belongings, but he’ll get his in due time.
He doesn’t know that his time is quickly coming to an end, but that’s not my good news to share with him. He’ll learn this little fact when the moment arises, and I’ll be sure to be nearby watching with a smile on my face.
I have no doubt that, by now, Makena and her crew have put the fire out. I have even less doubt that she’ll see it this time.
She’ll remember.
She has to.
If she doesn’t, then I’ll have no choice but to confront her, burning with a white-hot rage inside of me.
And I don’t want that to be the last way she remembers me.
17
Dom gave me a ride to the firehouse.
I’ve been in my office for the past forty minutes comparing all of the Polaroids from when these fires first started to this one.
The lily started out small, gradually becoming larger with each fire, and somehow, I missed the fucking thing until yesterday morning when my mind drifted back to this case in a groggy haze.
But why lilies?
Why so detailed and so grand?
Even the smallest burn pattern of the flower shows the detail of being open faced with a darker shading inside closer to the pistil. The longer I sit here staring at the pictures, the more frantically my mind is racing to find some significance.