by Gina Azzi
Could it have been a lover’s quarrel? Of course.
But something about her expression, something about the tension in her shoulders bothers me.
And a lot of something’s about Corey Hughes and his claim on Lee causes a jealousy streak like I’ve never experienced to blaze through me.
That night, after reading Olivia four Katie Morag books, I’m lying in my own bed re-reading a thriller, when a text message dings.
Snatching up my phone, expecting a meme from Finn or his best friend Roger, surprise rockets through me.
Unknown: Hey Aaron, it’s Everly. I wanted to thank you again for taking me to the hospital on Saturday and pass along my number. I’ve decided to stay in Edinburgh at least through September. If you’d like to grab a coffee and catch up, let me know.
My heart soars in my chest before crashing and burning.
Rein it in, mate. She has a boyfriend. She’s moving back to Nashville. And you have a daughter.
Finn’s words from earlier float around in my head. On some level, and as annoying as it is to admit, I know my brother is right. I do need to start living life again, start easing myself out of the depressing pool of failure and anger I’ve been drowning in.
But Everly, she’s dangerous for a man like me. Not because I want to be single forever, but because Everly is the one woman in the world who could make me want the rest of it. The marriage and the babies and the big house.
And I have Olivia. She’s enough for me.
Still, there’s no real harm in grabbing a coffee, is there?
Me: Hey Everly. How’s the ankle healing? Aye, coffee would be great. Want to meet at The Fray on Leith’s Docks Wednesday at one?
I’m pretty sure I don’t have a meeting then, and if I do, well, I’ll move it.
Everly: Sure! See you then. Goodnight, Aaron.
6
Everly
Nerves zing up and down my spine as I stare at the inside of my closet.
What am I supposed to wear to coffee with Aaron?
Coffee is casual, easygoing. But I feel like a college freshman again about to go on her first date with the sexy, study-abroad student.
Gah!
I don’t even know how to do dates anymore. Corey is all I’ve known for the past four years, and dates with him were more routine than anything else. He laid out the dress I was to wear and left a note with the details for the night, so I would know how to apply my makeup, fix my hair, and most importantly, how to behave appropriately with whatever company we were mixing with.
Once we moved past the beginning stage of our relationship, dates stopped being romantic or sweet; instead, they were a means to an end, one that made him look good, catapulted my career, and earned us both a lot of money. My stomach roils at the thought. In so many ways, I’m a sell-out and each week I remained with Corey, a little more of my soul died.
But I’m here now. In Edinburgh. I’m learning to stand on my own two feet, and there’s more magic in that than in a boyfriend who could tell the difference between taffeta and chiffon and leave bruises on my arm in the same sentence.
Pulling out a simple summer dress that skims the top of my knees and dips low in the back, I slip it over my head. I slide on strappy silver sandals and fix long, turquoise teardrop earrings to my ears.
Tossing my wallet and keys into a fringed, brown-leather crossbody bag, I pick up my phone just as it rings.
Addison.
“Hey Addi.”
“Everly, what the hell? You haven’t responded to my last two emails.”
“They both said the same thing.”
“So you did read them.”
“I read them.”
“And?”
Sighing, I sit on the corner of my expertly made bed. Corey liked the corners tucked a certain way, the pillows plumped, and old habits die hard. Like, really hard. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Everly Pierce, you are the strongest, bravest woman I know. You can’t give up on your career, on your livelihood, on yourself, just because that piece of shit used you as a personal punching bag.” Addison’s voice is quiet, but her tone is strong, desperate in its intensity to make me believe what she does.
She’s the only person who knows my darkest secret, and the fact that she still wants to represent me is a blessing as much as it is a curse. Corey could easily ruin anyone in Nashville, Addison included. I think the only reason he’s held off this long is because Addison’s family is Old Southern money with a lot of connections. And, he doesn’t know that she knows the truth about him. Yet.
“Addi, I—”
“As your manager, I would just like to point out that you’ve worked too damn hard to give up on the dream that you created. Forget whatever bullshit Corey says; it was all you,” she continues, giving me a dose of tough love that may have been effective if Corey’s name wasn’t dropped into the sentence.
His name alone causes my skin to sting, like alcohol poured into an open wound.
“And as your friend, I want to tell you that you’re too damn good for him, Everly. You’re too talented and driven and good for a man like Corey to do what he did and get away with it.”
Squeezing my eyes shut tight against the montage of images flickering through my mind at the mention of Corey, I try to regulate my breathing.
Corey and I kissing, taking selfies, sleeping on tour buses, buying a magnet, postcard, and shot glass from every city I performed in, walking the red carpet at the Grammy’s.
Corey slapping my cheek, wrapping his thick fingers around my neck, punching me in the stomach.
They blend together, creating a home movie in my mind, a frenzy in my heart, confusing me until I don’t know who I am without Corey. For so long, I was defined by him, because he created me. The Nashville-bred singer who wouldn’t have been able to cut it on her own. He sculpted me, built me up, perfected me to become Everly Pierce, country artist who sold millions of albums.
Lies. All lies.
“Everly, you still there?”
Sighing, I open my eyes. “I’m here, Addi. Look, we both know I’m going to do the tour. I’m going to do it all, okay? I’m not giving up on myself or my career or any of it. I’m here to re-invent myself, learn who I am independently of him, and how to be that woman when I return to Nashville. I need to clear my head, to shore up my defenses, and remind myself how to just be. I just… I need some more time, okay? I’m staying here for another month.”
Addison sighs. “You didn’t have to run across the world, you know.”
“Scotland isn’t across the world.”
“You could come home. I’d make sure you wouldn’t even see him.”
I snort. We both know that’s impossible. Corey would somehow detect the moment I landed in Tennessee, and he would sniff me out faster than a bloodhound tracking a missing person.
“Fine, but why Edinburgh?” my friend presses.
“I’m searching for magic. I’ll call you soon, Addi.” I disconnect the call.
Standing from my bed, I walk over to the floor length mirror hanging on the inside of my closet and smooth down the skirt of my dress. Inhaling, I take in my tanned skin, the warm pink shimmering on the apples of my cheeks, the beach-waves of my hair. No one would ever suspect the scars that line my bones, the wounds that fester in my veins.
And no one else can ever know.
The air shifts the moment he enters The Fray.
Clad in perfectly tailored charcoal suit pants and a light blue collared shirt, the top buttons open, the sleeves rolled up on his forearms, my throat turns to sandpaper, as I drink him in like a desert wanderer.
His light hair is styled simply, his jaw clean shaven. He looks professional but approachable, qualified but likable.
I start to stand from the cafe table I’m seated at, ignoring the twinge of pain in my ankle, when he notices me. The blue of his eyes darken as he drinks me in like an alcoholic about to fall off the wagon. A zing of delight zips down my spine at his
obvious appreciation.
My eyes stay glued to his as he walks closer, the air between us intensifying with each step. His jaw tightens, his chest expanding, as he pulls out the chair across from me and sits down.
Pressing his forearms onto the table, he leans forward and brushes a kiss across my cheek. It’s simple and sweet and causes butterflies to take flight in my ribcage.
“You smell like coconut,” he remarks.
“It’s my shampoo.”
“It’s the same one you used at uni.”
I nod.
“I guess some things don’t change.” The corner of his mouth lifts, a flicker of amusement flashing in his eyes.
“I guess not.”
“How’s your ankle?”
“Healing. It’s a bit sore but feeling much better. In another week or so, I think it will be fine.”
“That’s good.” He leans back in his chair and flags down a server. “I’m glad you messaged me, Lee.”
“You are?”
He nods, gesturing for me to order. We both order, and Aaron tacks on two scones before he turns his attention back to me. “Aye. Why do you sound surprised?”
“I don’t know. I just, I don’t know how to do this with you.”
“Because it’s been fifteen years?”
“Because when we broke up, I, you, it really affected me.”
He sighs, his exhale filled with emotions so heavy they seem to choke both of us. Placing a hand over mine, he shifts closer. “Lee, I’m sorry. Really, I —”
“You don’t have to explain.” I force myself to say the words because I’m not sure if I can hear the reasons why he broke my heart.
“I want to. When I ended things with you, Lee, I thought I was doing the right thing. You never would have pursued music, your dreams, if you came to Edinburgh with me.”
“But you never asked me what I wanted. You just decided for us and —”
“And now you’re famous.”
“Yes.” I whisper, breaking eye contact and slipping my hand from his. “Now I’m famous.”
“So your dream came true.”
Snorting, I nod, grateful that the server drops off our scones. “Sure.”
“I’m happy you’re here. To see you.”
“Me too, Aar. So, what’s been going on?”
He chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee. “Truth?”
“Truth.”
“It’s been a shitty six months. You ever feel like…” He shakes his head.
“Like what?” I prod, my heart galloping in my chest.
“Like you just went through hell and you’re not sure if the worst of it is passing or just beginning?” His eyes connect with mine, a small muscle under his right eye twitching with nerves, with stress.
“It’s the eye of the storm.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just suffered the high winds, endured the torrential downpour, been battered and bruised and beaten, and now there’s this peaceful calmness, this quiet solitude, this moment where you think to yourself, ‘is it over?’ but you still feel the shadow, the cloud of what’s to come. It’s the eye of the storm, Aaron. So it’s not the beginning or the end… it’s just the middle.”
His nostrils flare, his eyes brimming with curiosity. “Aye.” He admits quietly. “That’s how I feel. But how, how the hell do you know that?”
“We all have our stories and our scars,” I answer, thanking the server for the cappuccino she places in front of me.
Aaron regards me for a long moment before adding clotted cream to his scone. “Tell me about your life in Nashville.”
Relief trickles down the back of my neck that he isn’t going to press me for my story. Or my scars. “I guess it’s a pretty normal life. I wake up in the morning, head to the studio, spend time at the gym, write in the afternoons, make dinner, sleep.” I shrug. “It’s not as glamorous or exciting as people think. I get up and go to work, show up, every day, like everyone else.”
“Yeah, but you must have tons of friends, an exciting social life?” He asks the question innocently, but his tone holds an edge.
“I work a lot. I don’t have a lot of friends. I mostly spend time with Addison, my manager.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Lee.” He raises his eyebrows.
“Aar.”
He sighs, blowing out a deep breath and scrubbing a palm over his chin. “Okay, look, I know I’m going to sound like a stalker but…”
“But?”
“I Googled you.”
Snorting, I roll my eyes and take a sip of my cappuccino.
“Corey Hughes?”
7
Aaron
I bite down on my tongue the second the question is out of my mouth.
I have no right to ask her about her relationship with Corey and yet, I’m burning with curiosity to know what’s between them.
She can never be yours.
But Everly’s reaction surprises the hell out of me.
She doesn’t push back from the table in anger or glare at me in hurt. Instead, her skin pales, her eyes grow wide and … empty. Her chest rises and falls but the oxygen sucked into her lungs whistles, like she can’t gulp it down fast enough.
“Everly?” My hand reaches out, covering hers and she flinches, tugging away, but I hold her hand tightly in my own. “I’m sorry, babe. I shouldn’t have asked.”
Take it easy, mate. You spooked her.
In fact, that’s exactly how Everly looks in this moment. Fucking petrified. “Lee, are you okay?”
Seconds pass like decades before she releases a stream of air. “I’m fine.” She clears her throat, her eyes vacant, her voice dead.
“Bad breakup?”
She snorts. “The worst.”
“I’m sorry, love. I had no idea. Every single thing on the internet paints you and Corey like some golden couple but there was nothing about a break-up.”
“It’s recent.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
She shrugs, taking a long sip of her cappuccino.
Sighing, I lean back, releasing her hand and taking a bite of my scone.
Everly tries to smile at me across the table, but her eyes fall flat. The sweet innocence she once wore like a cloak has been dulled, jaded.
It bothers me that Corey has had such an effect on her. He must have broken her heart. Does she miss him? Wish they were still together? Think about him when she slides into bed at night?
“What about you, Aar? Are you seeing anyone?”
I chuckle past the tightness in my throat. “Absolutely bloody no one. Unless you count Uno games and tea parties dates.”
Everly smiles for real this time, some of the tension in her neck and shoulders lessening. “Those sound better than any dates I’ve been on lately.”
“So, you are dating again?”
“Not really. I meant, any dates with Corey.”
“You were together long?”
“Four years.”
I whistle through my teeth, my hands clenching into fists underneath the table.
An irrational wave of jealousy churns in my stomach and a coldness, like icy fingers, spreads through my veins.
Of course she had serious relationships after you.
Look how upset she is just hearing her ex-boyfriend’s name.
Four years together.
You got bloody married!
And yet, as much as I want her to be happy, I bloody hate the thought of her with another man. Any man.
“Did you guys live together?”
She frowns, a line forming between her dipped eyebrows. “We did. Clearly, not anymore. Why all the questions, Aar?”
I smirk, shaking my head. “Just trying to figure out if this guy stole your magic, babe.” I polish off the rest of my scone with a breeziness I don’t feel and lean forward again, stopping mere inches from her face.
Pausing, I study her closely, note the surprise
that widens her eyes. Grin when the green deepens, and her mouth drops open.
She sucks in a sharp breath, her lips parting, her eyes darting to my mouth. “Aar?”
“And because I’m bloody desperate to do this, Lee.” Refusing to overthink my actions and what they mean, I wrap my fingers around the silver and gold chains that decorate her neck, tug her closer, and grind my mouth against hers.
It’s not sweet or soulful. It’s not thoughtful or gentle.
It’s raw and demanding and filled with a promise I’m not sure I can deliver on.
But when Everly groans and parts her lips for me to slip my tongue inside her mouth, all my thoughts, anger, and confusion disappear. The only thing I can focus on is kissing the hell out of Everly Pierce.
“What are we doing, Aar?” she whispers a while later.
We’re walking Leith’s Docks, enjoying the afternoon’s warmth, the people watching, each other.
I shake my head, glancing at my watch. “I’m not sure, Lee. I, fuck, I’ve missed you, Everly. I didn’t think it was possible to miss a person who’s been missing from my life for so long and yet…here you are.”
“Here I am.” She snuggles closer into my side and I wrap my arm around her.
“I want you, Lee. More than I can describe. It’s absurd and crazy and the worst possible timing and yet, there it is.”
She squeezes my bicep, pressing a kiss against my shoulder. “I know what you mean, Aaron. I feel the same way. None of this makes sense and yet, nothing ever made sense when it came to you. I always felt too damn much. But I need you to know that my breakup is recent. I’m not, I’m not in the headspace for a relationship. And my career, it’s everything I have right now. I can’t just let everything back home go.”