by Linzi Basset
“Hold on, I know that face,” Keon said as he contemplated the picture. “Yes! Rhone, remember the time when Colt Fargo was involved with the Occhipintis as Don Damiano and Vito Vitale went to Club Wicked Cove when we were there that one Saturday night.”
Rhone frowned as he studied the face closely. “Yes, I do. This man was Vito’s right-hand man at the time.”
“So, what the fuck is he doing with the Sixth Order?” Jack leaned forward.
“Survival? An opportunity lost in the mafia since Vito died, so he moved on,” Bruce speculated out loud.
“As far as I know, the Occhipintis haven’t appointed a new Don in Vito’s place after his death but they are still very active,” Rhone said slowly, the deep frown still slashed across his forehead.
“What are you thinking?” Ethan asked as he watched Rhone.
“I’m not sure. I sure as hell hope I’m wrong, but we all know how the mafia operates. An eye for an eye, right? Colt assured us not so long ago that he’s not involved with the mafia anymore, but that was before his half-brother’s death. What if, and this is a big if, Colt Fargo is back to avenge his death?”
“Jesus, do you think?” Keon sounded shocked at the thought.
“He was seasoned to Luca Vitale’s will for years, Keon. That darkness will always be inside him, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. He might have hated being forced to be part of that life, but he came to love Vito, that much I know.”
“And the fact that Vito was assassinated might have triggered the beast to come alive again.” Keon shook his head. “Still, Rhone, I find it hard to believe after everything Colt and his wife, Ceejay, went through he would go back to a life of crime. He’s got two kids now, for fuck’s sake.”
“I tend to agree with Keon,” Jack said. “I’ve met Colt a couple of times, and I can’t believe he would endanger his own family that way. On the other hand … you never know…” His voice withered away as he considered his own feelings.
How hatred now drove every thought and move he was making since he’d found Jordan tied to that bed, violated and hurt. The black rage that had threatened to overpower him at that moment still weaved its way inside him every day. When he found him, he was going to rip out that motherfucker’s throat for daring to touch her and abuse her like he had. Jack jumped up and started pacing, suppressing the anger that boiled to the surface with much difficulty.
It was easy to step over the line of what was right and wrong when someone you loved—
Like I love her. I should’ve told her already. Now, she might not believe me.
The voices of the team droned in the background as he became lost in the emotions that swirled inside him. Was it too late for them? Jordan had become withdrawn since she’d arrived in London. He phoned her twice a day. At eight in the morning when she woke up and at night before she went to bed. It meant being awake in the middle of the night, but he needed to show her he cared, that he was there for her, no matter the distance separating them. Sometimes she answered the call, other times she didn’t. Lately, their conversations had become shorter and more strained, like she was forcing herself to talk to him. It worried Jack, and Bruce had confirmed his fear. She still hadn’t gone for counseling.
Jack shook his head, forcing the gloomy thoughts to the back of his mind. He ran his hand over his eyes. The gesture was a weary one. He sighed and turned to face the team. It was time to act on his feelings. Life was too short and unpredictable to wait.
“I need to go to London.”
The statement came out raw. All eyes turned to him.
“It’s about fucking time,” Max said. “Need some company?”
Jack stared at his best friend, knowing he didn’t make the offer lightly. Of all the men around the table, he was the one who understood the confusion throttling him at the moment.
“Thanks for the offer, mate, but I don’t think my sister is going to be happy if you leave her now.”
“Actually, I was thinking of taking Jo with. She’s been a little cranky lately, and a trip would do her good. Besides, Jordan might need the company of a woman at this point and the two of them have become good friends.” He glanced at Ethan. “What do you say, Doc? Is she up to flying to the UK?”
Ethan smiled. “Joanne is as healthy and fit as can be and she still has a couple of months to go, so yes, it’s safe for her to fly.”
“Then it’s a done deal. When do we leave?”
“I’ll book the flights and—”
“Flights? Forget it. Keon and I haven’t been to London in a while. Besides, the Sikorsky is a lot more comfortable and faster than a commercial plane.”
Jack swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He would forever be grateful for the group of friends he had in his life.
Chapter Twenty
Jordan felt like she was floating on a cloud. Her legs moved as she turned her head to the side. Two perpendicular lines slashed between her brows as the morning sounds penetrated her sleep-muddled mind. Birds trilled, sweetly high, their chorus as playful and bright as the sunlight she could feel shining on her face. Her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open. She chose to lose herself in the sweet sounds, comparing it to colors, painting stairs in the same way grapevines grew, this way and that, in a beautiful chaos that wasn’t quite random. In the calm of the early morning, her heartbeat was the steady drum to their melody as she seeped into the moment, allowing herself a few seconds of indulgence to climb those rainbow stairs.
The past two weeks had been difficult. More than she had imagined they would be. The day after her return, she had stood on the shore of the Thames River at Adventure Island to release Gideon’s ashes. It had been a turning point for her. The moment she’d watched the last signs of the powdery residue swirl away was when she’d realized she was alone, that she had no one in her life anymore. It was only her.
She teetered on the verge of giving over to the emptiness inside her, a dark void that consumed everything in and around her and left her feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.
If only I could have spoken to Gideon one last time. If only I could have told him how much I love him and oh, god … I can’t! He’s part of me! The mirror into my own soul. I can’t do this without him.
Jordan’s mind faltered as it had so many times when she woke up to the emptiness that now resided where he used to be.
Thoughts of Jack slithered into her mind to lift her spirit, offer a speck of light in her otherwise dull existence. Not that it mattered. It was over. She could never be the woman she was before. Not after that bastard had…
Her blood chilled. She banned the memory as a coldness brought the synapses of her brain to a standstill. She had tried to keep from remembering but lost the battle during the long hours of the night when she was flung back to relive it without the anesthesia of false hope of ever being rid of them.
The lines slashed deeper as another memory invaded her thoughts. Of Ethan Brodie sitting on the hospital bed next to her, holding her hand and with a gentle smile told her the results of his examination.
“Why can’t I remember what he said?” Her voice sounded husky as she opened her eyes and pushed upright. She ran her hand through her hair as she gazed listlessly outside. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. She had locked away the memory of the rape and during conscious moments couldn’t remember the details nor did she attempt to try. All she did recall was Jack’s expression when he’d found her. It had shaken her how he had managed to simultaneously look furious and sad.
He had been her savior in the days that had followed. A pillar of strength she had leaned on more and more. He was the man who held her heart in his hands. She loved him still, more than she cared to admit, but it was because of that she had to leave. At the wake, she’d come to realize she’d selfishly used him as a crutch since Gideon’s death and knew it wasn’t fair to him.
The clock caught her eye. Nine-fifteen.
“He didn’t call.” Her voice was dull. She shouldn’
t be surprised. Their conversations had become stilted and short. She ignored some of his calls, but then there were times she couldn’t help herself and answered only to hear his voice. She’d been saying goodbye to him, slowly pulling away to give herself time to accept it wasn’t meant to be.
Jack deserved to be happy. She wasn’t the woman who could give it to him. She pushed all thoughts to the back of her mind as she took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of jeans, a light sweater, and boots.
It has been two weeks since the ordeal. Life didn’t come to a standstill when fate threw you a hardball. All it did was force you to make adjustments. Jordan knew she had many decisions to make. Walking around like a ghost without direction wasn’t going to change anything.
It was time to move on.
She had eaten breakfast and was finishing the last of her coffee when the doorbell chimed. The corners of her mouth turned down in thought as she walked toward the door. Since her return, no one had come to visit, except the office manager of her company and their family attorney to offer their condolences.
Her knees buckled when she opened the door. She was immediately drawn into a gaze that glinted like buffed onyx speckled with diamond dust. Her breath caught in her throat.
“It’s you. You’re here,” she whispered.
“It’s me and I’m here,” he rasped as he took the step that separated them and enveloped her in a strong embrace.
Jordan could do no more than cling to him. Her legs felt suddenly made of rubber and couldn’t hold her upright even if she tried. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. His familiar scent and strong body flowed through her to find resonance deep inside her heart. He had come for her. She didn’t know if she should be elated or cry and scream at the unfairness of it.
The tears that pushed past her eyelids made the decision for her.
He tilted back her head to stare into her eyes. He detected the fear and desolation flicker in their depths. His smile was gentle as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.
“No more tears, Jordan. It’s time to look to the future.”
Jordan was enraptured by the warmth in his eyes. It was the first time he didn’t hide his emotions from her. It was there, open and honest, for her to see.
“Jack, I’m broken,” she whispered. “I’m lost without Gideon, and I can’t find a balance without him. And I’m not the woman…” Tears spilled once more as she struggled to compose herself.
“We will find that balance together, Jordan. You and I.”
Jordan blinked. She shook her head but couldn’t resist leaning her face into his touch as he reached under her hair, to caress her cheek with his thumb. She shivered at the gentle touch. Her eyes flared to reveal more than any words could express.
“Jack, I can’t…” She licked her lips that had gone dry and felt their breath mingle as he leaned closer. Her heart missed a beat when he captured her lips with his.
The kiss was intensely sweet at first, like he was giving her time to withdraw. She couldn’t bite back the moan his tenderness evoked. His fist closed around a tuft of her silken hair that tumbled in loose curls down her back. He was lost in the heat, the natural sensuality as her willing surrender entered his bloodstream. His hand moved over her hip, drawing the lushness of her curvy body closer against his chest. The familiar thrum of passion that she always managed to unleash inside him, burned through him.
“Jack,” Jordan sighed into his mouth as his arms tightened around her. She yielded to his strength as a surging tide of warmth flooded her body and left her limp in his arms.
“I’m here, love,” he murmured as he planted a row of achingly tender kisses along her mouth.
Her lips trembled and parted under his insistent mouth. Wild tremors shuddered along her nerves, evoking the kind of sensations only he had been able to set alight inside her from his first touch. Her mind spun with swirling dizziness. She capitulated and stopped trying to fight the little voice that kept telling her it wasn’t meant to be as she leaned into him. When she kissed him back, it was with all the love she had been trying to deny herself over the past two weeks.
“Why did you come here?” Jordan asked when he ended the kiss. She pulled out of his arms and pivoted around.
Jack followed her to a sunny, informal living room. The penthouse apartment had a gorgeous view over the Thames River. He looked around. Every piece of furniture, every painting, and rug was a personification of Jordan. He could see her personality all around the colorful space.
“You have a beautiful home, Jordan,” Jack began. He watched her intently as he deliberated what to say. He knew he had to tread softly and choose his words carefully. “I always believed I had a beautiful home too.”
“You do. Your house is gorgeous, Jack,” she defended it almost defiantly. She loved his house and had missed the ambience and spaciousness of it.
“It used to be filled with sunshine and warmth. From the morning right through to the night. It’s gone now.” He gestured around. “I see you in every piece of furniture in this room. You fill the space with your presence, your essence … like you used to in my house. I need it back, Jordan. I need the warmth and love you brought to my life. I can’t stand the empty space, the lifelessness and lack of color in my house. You brought it with you, and you took it away when you left.”
Jordan blinked back the tears that burned behind her eyelids. Her heart felt like lead inside her chest.
Why does life have to be so unfair?
Her voice was toneless, empty like her heart had become when she choked out, “I’m not the woman you knew before, Jack. You know this! I’m … I’m dirty. Tainted! I can’t be with you, not like this. You deserve better. I’m—”
“No,” Jack caught her hands that were flailing with agitation. “Love, stop. Jordan, please calm down.”
He held her tight against him until she stopped fighting him. He pulled back and stared intently at her.
“Tell me about that night. What you can remember,” he said softly.
“No! I’ve been forcing myself to forget. I don’t want to remember, Jack. Please.”
“Jordan, I’m not going to leave … not if it’s without you. I’m here for you, baby. Now, please, tell me.”
“What does it matter? He raped me, Jack! He fucking pushed his … his thing inside me and…” A dry sob shuddered through her body.
Jack frowned as he recalled the discussion he’d had with Ethan after he’d finished examining her. How was it possible that she didn’t know?
“Love, it’s important. For your own good. I know it’s an experience you’d rather forget but you need to remember, just this once.”
Jordan took a deep breath. “Okay, Jack, I’ll try, but I’ve not been able to remember much about it.” She closed her eyes. She forced her mind to unlock the memories and began to talk. Her voice thinned when she recalled the brutal lashes of the belt. Her eyes opened, and she stared at him. “I guess now I understand the difference between your punishments and what that bastard did to me. God, I’ve never felt so much pain.”
Jack sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap. He rubbed her cold hands between his.
“I couldn’t understand at first what he was doing when he started to choke me. I was even glad.” She glanced at him. “You know, thinking I was going to die, and at least he wasn’t going to rape me. But then he … he became excited. The more I struggled and couldn’t breathe, the more he…” She swallowed hard. Her brows drew together in a frown. “His hold tightened and I saw black dots in front of my eyes. He was rubbing his … disgusting thing against me when I passed out. I guess it’s a blessing I can’t remember the actual rape.” A shudder wracked her body. “I woke up when he…” Her lips flattened in disgust at the memory. “I wanted to puke when I felt his ejaculate splash all over me.”
She began to cry, her body trembled as the memories of the ordeal washed over her again and again.
“Shh, honey. I’m
sorry for putting you through this. But it was necessary. You haven’t spoken to anyone about it, and it does you no good to keep it bottled inside you.”
“He raped me, Jack. I’m tainted now. Don’t you get it? I can’t be with you anymore. Not after this. I just can’t … it wouldn’t feel right and it …” sob “… wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Nonsense. You are still the same person you were before and none of this is your fault. And honey,” he cupped her cheeks, “look at me, love.” He waited until her eyes lifted to his. “He didn't rape you, Jordan, not in the true sense of the word. The examination Ethan did, showed there was no penetration or any signs of his DNA inside your body. I thought Ethan told you this?”
Jordan stared at Jack. Her brain struggled to connect the dots of what he was saying. “He came to speak to me, but I suppose I had closed my mind to anything related to what had happened, and I didn’t listen to him. Is this true? He said…” She frowned as she pushed her mind to remember. “He said I will always remember his hard sword inside me…” She blinked. “Are you sure about this, Jack? You’re not just saying this to make it easier for me?”
“I would never lie to you about something like that, Jordan. You are still the purest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” He brushed his fingers over her cheeks, his eyes paid homage to her beauty as he wiped the tears of relief from her face. “God, I should’ve done this long ago, and now…” Jack swallowed his words. A declaration of love at this point might be a death blow to their relationship. The timing wasn’t right. He didn’t want her to believe it was no more than a pity gesture.
“He didn’t rape me. He only dry humped me. Oh, god, I can’t tell you how relieved I am. Just the thought of him … of him—”
“Enough, love. It’s over and something to be buried in a corner of your mind never to be relived. We are going to move forward, you and I.”