Changing Lanes (Lake Park University Book 1)

by Christina Escue

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Graycen

  “You sure you want to come with me, Wes?” I ask as we walk to my car. I’m going to the rehab facility to visit with my mom, and he insists I don’t need to go alone. It’s the first time someone other than family has been allowed to see her, and he is adamant that he should be with me.

  “I insist,” he says and takes my hand. “Ethan wanted to come, but they have that meet in Texas this weekend.”

  “I know,” I respond and look at him. “Let’s go see my mom.”

  “I can’t wait to meet her,” he responds, and I shake my head.

  “She’s probably going to ask if you’re my boyfriend,” I tell him, and he laughs.

  “You haven’t told her about Ethan?”

  “No,” I answer, and he looks down at me. “Mom hasn’t really talked to me when I’ve visited her. I talk, and she appears to listen, but she hasn’t said much more than hello and goodbye while I’m there. Uncle James said she’s talked to him, but not about what happened. I’m hoping she’ll open up to me, but I doubt it.”

  “Why wouldn’t she?”

  “Since Gav died and her and Dad split up, Mom has never recovered. She was okay for a while during my senior year, but then things got worse again,” I say as I unlock my car. “She’s just not the same as she was before everything, and I doubt she ever will be.”

  “So, basically, she forgot she had another daughter?” He asks and I nod.

  “If not for Uncle James, I’d have been alone when we moved to Newberry. Dad wasn’t around except for when I was bowling, and mom was completely gone for a while.”

  “That must have been hard on you,” he says as he opens the passenger door.

  “Yeah,” I answer then slide behind the wheel. “But I was okay. I survived. I’m not sure I can go through it all again though. I love her, but I don’t think I have the strength to deal with it all again.”

  “You aren’t alone now,” he tells me once we’re both in the car. “You have your team, and you have Ethan and the UF swim team. We’re all in your corner, Gray. We’re all here to hold you up and support you.”

  “And I’m thankful for all of you,” I say and start the car. “Now, let’s head over to the rehab center. I’m hoping seeing someone other than me and Uncle James will help her a little.”

  “Hopefully, it will,” he says and lays his hand on my knee. “If not, we know it’s not because you didn’t try.”

  I nod and pull out of the parking lot. The rehab facility Mom’s in is only ten minutes from campus, and the conversation between us is light as I drive through the city and head toward the small, private facility Uncle James is paying for.

  “Nice facility,” Wes says as I pull into the parking lot and kill the engine.

  “Uncle James found it online,” I say then open my door. “Ready?”

  “Are you?” He asks, and I nod as we get out of the car. “Why are you nervous?”

  “I haven’t seen her in a week,” I tell him. “Between work, and bowling, and school, and Ethan, it’s just been hard to get over here.”

  “You’re a good daughter, Graycen,” he says softly.

  “I try,” I respond as we walk through the facility doors.

  We approach a small desk, and the lady sitting there looks up at me and smiles.

  “Graycen, your mom is in the game room,” she says, and I smile at her.

  “Thanks, Laia,” I say, and she smiles at me.

  “Who’s your friend?” She asks, and nods toward Wes.

  “Westin Lee. He’s on the bowling team with me, and since mom can have visitors other than family now, he wanted to come with me,” I answer, and her smile grows.

  “No, we’re not dating,” he tells her, and her smile fades a little. “Graycen is my best friend, and I wanted to remind her that she isn’t alone.”

  “That’s sweet of you,” Laia says and she smile brightens again. “Y’all go on in. She’ll be happy to see you both.”

  “Thanks again, Laia,” I say and walk toward the game room. I’ve been here four times, and three of those times mom has been in the game room. She likes working the puzzles in there and seeing her enjoy something makes me happy.

  “There she is,” I say and nod to where she’s sitting by the window. Her long, dark hair is shining in the sunlight, and I can’t help but smile.

  “You don’t look anything like her,” Wes says, and I chuckle. “I kinda expected an older version of you.”

  “I don’t look much like either of my parents,” I tell him.

  “Interesting,” he comments, and I shake my head. I’ve never questioned why I don’t look like my parents, but Wes seems to be.

  “Mom,” I say as we approach her. When she looks up, I see something in her eyes I haven’t seen since Dad walked out.

  “Graycen,” she greets me with a wide smile. “I was hoping to see you this weekend.”

  “You seem to be in a good mood,” I comment as I take a seat across from her, and nod for Wes to do the same.

  “I had an unexpected visitor a few times this week,” she tells me, then looks at Wes. “Who is your friend?”

  “Westin Lee,” I tell her. “He’s on the bowling team at LPU with me, and we’ve become very good friends over the past few weeks.”

  “Just friends?” She asks with a quirked eyebrow.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Wes responds and smiles at her. “Gray has become my best friend, and is very close with my boyfriend, too.”

  “Oh, I see,” Mom says and grins.

  “Mom, who visited you?” I ask. There aren’t many on her approved visitor list, and unless one of us brings someone, no one can visit her unless on that list.

  “A man I once knew,” she answers and blushes a little. “He, your dad, and I all went to high school together. He was two years ahead of dad and I, but he played basketball, and I was a cheerleader, so I knew him.”

  “How was he able to visit?” I ask, not happy about them letting someone not on the list visit her.

  “Oh, he didn’t visit me. He works here,” she answers, and I narrow my eyes.

  “What’s his name?” I ask. I’ve met the staff who works with mom, and most are several years older or younger than her.

  “Roan Sadler,” she answers, and I gasp.

  “Xander’s dad?” I nearly yell before I can stop myself. “Mom, you realize Aunt Margie is his sister, right?”

  “Of course,” she answers and sighs. “Margie didn’t mean any harm by giving me those pills. I told her I was going to sell them so I could give James some money. Since you left, he’s been paying everything again, and I convinced her I wanted to help them out a little.”

  “Mom, that’s still illegal,” I say quietly. “You’d have gone to jail had you been caught, and Uncle James may have as well.”

  “I never had any intention of selling them,” she tells me. “It was always my plan to take them. Not all at once, but I needed something to numb the pain.”

  “Mom, you nearly died,” I remind her.

  “I know, sweetheart,” she says and drops her eyes to the table. “And I realize how hard that would have been on you. Did you know your father has come to see me three times since I’ve been here?”

  “I knew Dad wanted to be added to the approved visitor’s list, but I didn’t know he’d actually visited,” I respond.

  “He and I talked, really talked, for the first time since Gavyn was killed. He admits that selling the bowling alley wasn’t the best decision, but he told me he couldn’t go inside there any longer. I can see where he’d see Gav everywhere in there. She was such a part of that place. From the day we brought you two home, you were both a part of that place.”

  “Bowling was in our DNA,” I tell her, and she smiles. “With you and Dad as our parents, we were genetically inclined to be bowlers.”

  “Your father and I also decided it was time to tell you something,” she says, and I can hear the nervousnes
s in her voice. “He wanted to be here when you were told, but I told him I’d tell you.”

  “Mom, what’s going on?” I ask. She’s making me nervous. Wes, being the observant guy he is, catches the nerves in my question, and reaches out to take my hand.

  “I’m not sure how to say this,” she says and pauses.

  “Just say it, Mrs. Kelley,” Wes says and looks between the two of us. “Whatever it is, I’ll be there to help Gray. All of her friends will.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Mom says, then looks at the table for a second before looking back up at me. “When I was twenty-three I was in an accident. The accident left me unable to reproduce.”

  “Wait, I’ve seen pictures of you pregnant with us,” I interrupt her.

  “Yes,” she responds and closes her eyes. “I carried and delivered you, but you aren’t biologically mine. The egg you two were created from was sold to us by a young woman who needed money. It was a long, legal process, and one we have never regretted.”

  “Wait a second,” I say and stand up. “Is dad biologically my father?”

  “Yes,” she answers and sighs. “His sperm was used with her egg, and from that we got our two little miracles.”

  I sit back down and drop my head in my hands. I can’t believe I’m hearing this. “Who else knows?”

  “Uncle James is the only other one who knows,” she answers. “He helped us with the entire process. He even knew the young woman who’s egg we bought.”

  “I need some air,” I say and stand again.

  “Graycen, wait,” she says softly, and I look at her. “I may not be your biological mother, but I carried you inside me, I held you when you were born, I fed you and cared for you, and I love you more than anything else in this world. You and Gavyn were my little miracles, and I couldn’t have been happier. No matter how you were created, you are my daughter, and I love you more than I can say.”

  “I love you, too, Mom,” I say then shake my head as anger fills me. “When Gav died, you acted like I did too. You weren’t a mother to me anymore. You were more the child than I was. You say you love me, yet for nearly four years you didn’t show it at all. You refused to get help, you refused everything except wallowing in your own grief. I get it, you lost a child, but you had another one that needed you, and you weren’t there.”

  “Graycen,” Wes says softly.

  “No,” I tell him as I wipe the tears from my eyes. “I needed you, Mom. I needed to know I was still loved, and cared about, and alive! You and Dad both abandoned me when I was going through hell, too. I lost the other half of my soul, and both of my parents. I was basically an orphan, and if not for Uncle James, I’d have been a homeless orphan.”

  “I know I failed you,” she admits. “I should have gotten help, I should have gone into counselling like you did, I should have been the mother you needed. I know I failed you, I know I failed your father, and I know I failed Gavyn. I realize that now. I know it’s probably too late, but I love you, Graycen. I’ve always loved you, even when I was emotionally checked out.”

  Before I can answer, a shadow falls over the table, and I look up to see Mr. Sadler standing behind me.

  “Is everything okay here?” He asks, looking between me and my mom.

  “Yeah,” I answer and rise to my feet. “I’ll see you next week, Mom.”

  “Graycen, don’t leave like this,” she says and rises to her feet, too.

  “I can’t, Mom,” I say and take a step away from the table. “I’m glad you’re getting better, and I’m glad you’ve finally started getting the help you need.”

  “It’s too little, too late, isn’t it?” She asks, and I shake my head.

  “No,” I respond honestly. “Had you succeeded in killing yourself, in truly removing yourself from my life, then it would be too late.”

  “I’m sorry, Graycen,” she says softly and looks at her hands.

  “Me too,” I say and turn and walk away.

  “Graycen, may I speak with you for a moment?” I hear Mr. Sadler say as soon as I step into the hall.

  “I think you said enough last time we talked,” I snap out.

  “I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say,” he says then walks past me, leaving it up to me to follow him.

  “Let’s hear what he has to say,” Wes, being the voice of reason, says.

  “Fine,” I say and exhale loudly.

  We follow Mr. Sadler down the hall and into a large office.

  “Have a seat,” he says and motions to the large, soft leather chairs in front of a mahogany desk.

  We sit, as he walks to the desk and leans a hip against it.

  “What’s this about?” I ask as I look around the office. “And whose office is this?”

  “It’s my office,” he answers and reaches for a frame on the desk. “Here, in case you don’t believe me.”

  He hands me a picture of himself with a much younger Xander and Joy standing in front of a huge office building. Sadler Family Foundation is scrolled across the sign, and next to them is a picture of this place.

  “That was taken six years ago, just before the ground-breaking ceremony on this place. My family owns the company who owns this facility, as well as many others across the US,” he tells us. “I was here looking over something and making sure everything was running as it should be when I came across someone I never anticipated seeing again.”

  “My mom,” I say, and he nods.

  “I never would have placed her and Davis as your parents,” he mutters and looks at me. “When I saw her sitting at that table, working a puzzle, I was nearly floored. She was so vibrant, so full of life, when I knew her. She’s not the same girl I knew back then.”

  “She’s had a rough four years,” I remind him. “Until Gav was killed, she was still vibrant and full of life. Now, she’s an empty shell of who she was then.”

  “My plan was to spend a day here, like I usually do, then head to one of the other facilities and do the same,” he tells me. “But since seeing Eden, I haven’t been able to step away from this place. I’m back, day after day, even though I’m not needed here.”

  “Are you saying you’re stalking one of the patients in a facility owned by your company?” I ask.

  “No, nothing like that,” he responds with a nervous chuckle. “Your mom and I dated for a while in high school. She was a sophomore and I was a senior when we dated. When I graduated we broke up because I was going to college in Boston, like my father wanted, and we didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. I found out three years later that she’d married your dad, and I was heartbroken. Yes, we’d broken up, but I had hoped we’d find our way back to one another someday.

  “Then I met Joy’s mother and we fell in love. We married a year later, and a year after that Joy was born. When Sylvie died, I was devastated, and lost myself for a bit. Then Xander was born, and I was whole again. My kids are everything to me, and I will do anything to see them happy and successful,” he tells me. “I lost track of Eden, and never made the connection to her and James. He’s a few years older than her, and I never knew him in school. May isn’t exactly an uncommon name, so I never placed that Eden was his sister.”

  “What are you trying to tell us, Mr. Sadler?” Wes asks.

  “I’m trying to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said the things I said that day, and I’m sorry my sister had a part in this. I’m sorry for everything you and Eden are going through,” he says then takes a deep breath. “And I want to help.”

  “Uncle James is taking care of everything,” I tell him.

  “James and Margie have separated,” he tells me, and I gasp.

  “No,” I say and shake my head. “Uncle James would have told me.”

  “I’m not sure why he hasn’t, but they have separated,” he says and looks out the large window behind us. “I want to help. I want to do what I can to help you and Eden.”

  “What can you do?” I ask, unsure about how he’s going to help.
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  “First, I can pay for her stay here,” he says, and I gasp. “Before you say no, take into consideration how much this place costs for a day. James can afford it, but it’s going to put some strain on the farm for the next few months. With the cost here, and your tuition, he’s going to be stretched thin.”

  “Uncle James isn’t paying for my tuition,” I tell him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but scholarships and grants are paying for school. Plus, I have a job to pay for whatever else I need. I may not be a trust fund baby, but I don’t need anyone’s charity, Mr. Sadler.”

  “I didn’t mean to offend you,” he says and holds up his hands. “I want to help.”

  “Fine, help, but leave my school out of it,” I say and rise from the chair. “Is there anything else?”

  “Just one more thing,” he says, and I narrow my eyes at him. “When your mom is released, I’d like to help her find a place here in Gainesville.”

  “Why?”

  “I think being closer to you, being able to see you bowl, will help her,” he responds. “And I’d like to get to know her again, as well.”

  “So, you want to date my mom, that’s what all this is about,” I say and shake my head. “You’re both adults, Mr. Sadler, so you can do whatever you want.”

  “It’s not that easy,” he says and runs his hands through his hair. “She wants a relationship with you again, Graycen, and if you don’t want her and I seeing each other, I’ll respect that.”

  “Mr. Sadler, what I want is my mom to get better, to be the person she was before my twin was violently ripped from our lives, but I don’t see that happening. What I want is my life back the way it was, but that’s never going to happen. If you feel you can make her happy, then by all means, do whatever you want,” I say and walk toward the door.

  “Graycen,” he says softly, and I stop. “I know Xander hurt you, and I know it’s been eating at him ever since.”

  “What happened between Xander and I has nothing to do with this conversation. We’re all adults, Mr. Sadler, and we’re all responsible for our own actions,” I tell him then walk to the door and into the hallway.