“And how did she respond then?”
“She was pissed, and hurt,” I answer. “She wasn’t either of those when we talked Tuesday though. She was confused, and unsure, but she did tell me that what I said in the Chapel that night was true. She had always liked me.”
“So, what now?” He asks and I shake my head.
“Friendship,” I answer and focus on the doors of the facility. “She needs to figure out her feelings for Ethan, and her feelings for me, and decide what she wants. She won’t be able to do that with me hovering over her.”
“You know Ethan is going to try everything he can to get her back, right?”
“I know,” I answer. “Which is why I’m going to back off and let her make her own decision. She doesn’t need us pulling at her like she’s a tug-of-war rope.”
“You really do love her,” Wes states and I nod.
“I have for a long time,” I admit to him, and myself. “Seeing her after four years only made it stronger.”
“She loves you too, you know?”
“I don’t know about that,” I mutter as the facility door opens and she walks out. “But I know she needs us both right now.”
“Yeah,” he responds as he follows my gaze. Her face is streaked with tears, and her skin is paler than usual.
“Graycen,” I say just loud enough for her to hear me, and she stops in her tracks. I watch as her eyes shift from me to Wes before she starts walking again.
“What are you doing here?” She asks softly as she stops in front of us.
“We figured out where you were, and thought you’d need a couple friends,” Wes answers before I can. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really,” she mutters, but looks at me. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about what we talked about on Tuesday.”
“And?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“What I told you was true. Nothing that happened changed how I felt about you. While I was talking to Mom, I realized something else though,” she says and sighs.
“What?” I ask after she’s quiet for a moment.
“We have a past that we may not be able to overcome,” she tells me, but I shake my head.
“I disagree.”
“Just hear me out,” she says, and I close my eyes for a second before I nod. “Our past is a long one, a tragic one, and we may not be able to overcome the things that happened in it, but I’m willing to try.”
“You are?” I ask as my eyes pop open.
“I am, but,” she says, and my heart drops a little. I don’t like the sound of that word. “We need to rebuild our friendship before we can have anything else. I know we’ve been working on that the past couple of months, but we need the solidity of the friendship before we can move on to anything more.”
“Friends,” I say and look at her. “You were once my best friend.”
“And you were mine,” she responds as she reaches out and lays her hand on my cheek. “We can get there again.”
“We can,” I agree and close my eyes at the feel of her soft touch.
“How’d your mom handle everything you had to say?” Wes asks, breaking the moment.
“Not well,” she answers and drops her hand from my cheek. “She’s going to have to adjust though. For the past four years, she hasn’t really been a mother to me, and now that I’m an adult she’s trying to step into the role she walked away from. She’s going to have to remember that it’s my life, and I’m the only one who can make the decisions in it.”
“I don’t want to be the reason you lose her again,” I tell her, but she shakes her head.
“She’s the reason, not you,” she tells me. “She’ll make her own choices, and I’ll make mine. If she chooses to push me away because you and I are friends, that’s on her, not you.”
“Want to go somewhere and talk?” Wes asks as he looks around the parking lot.
“Not really,” she answers and looks at him. “What I really want is a chocolate milkshake.”
“Then let’s get you a chocolate milkshake,” I say with a smile. “I know the perfect place.”
“Thank you both,” she says after she opens her door.
“Anything for you, Gray,” I tell her and tuck her hair behind her ear before I walk to my own car and slide inside.
“No matter what, I will be what you need,” I say to the empty car as I watch her back out of her parking spot. “I will be everything you need.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Graycen
After my conversation with Mom on Thursday, then my conversation with Wes and Rico after, I have a pretty good idea how my conversation with Ethan is going to go. I take a deep breath as I pull into a parking space beside his car and shut off the engine. I have a feeling there will be a lot of tears today, and I know they all won’t be mine.
“Now or never,” I mutter than open my door and grab the bag of food off the passenger seat. After I get out and lock my doors, I look around the area and sigh. Ethan and I have been here several times, both during the day and at night, but this time everything feels different. Maybe it’s because I don’t have his hand wrapped around mine, or maybe it’s because of what I’m going to tell him, but I feel as though this is the last time I’ll ever come here.
“Graycen,” he greets me when I pass the oak the park’s named for and top the hill we always sit on. “I was wondering if you’d actually come.”
“I told you I would,” I tell him with a soft smile.
“I know, but after we talked on Tuesday, I wondered if you’d changed your mind.”
“We have some things to talk about, Ethan,” I say softly as I walk to where he’s standing.
“God, I missed you this week,” he says as he reaches for me and pulls me against his chest. He inhales deeply, and my resolve wavers a little.
“I missed you, too,” I tell him and press my cheek against his chest for a second before I raise my head and look up at him. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah,” he responds and releases me. “Come, sit with me.”
“Ethan,” I say after we’re seated on the blanket we’ve sat on every time we’ve been here.
“I know what you’re going to say, Graycen,” he says before I can say anything else. “And I know it’s completely my fault. I messed up, I broke your trust in me, and I fractured your heart. I don’t deserve another chance with you.”
“Ethan,” I say again, and he stops talking. “Have you figured out why you did it?”
“No,” he answers quietly. “I’ve thought about it, a lot actually, and I can’t seem to land on what I was thinking when it happened. I was drunk, but that isn’t an excuse. I don’t have an excuse, honestly. All I can say for certain is that I never meant to hurt you.”
“Do you love me, Ethan? Before you answer, think about it. Do you really, truly, deeply love me?”
He sits there for a minute before he looks at me with tears swimming in his eyes. “I want to say yes, but after what happened, I don’t think I do,” he tells me. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past week, too, and I realized something. I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” I tell him and look out over the field in front of us.
“You’re in love with someone else,” he states, and I nod even though it wasn’t a question. “I think I’ve known that all along.”
“How did you know when I didn’t?”
“The way you turned to him for help with Greg and Oakley. You trusted him impeccably, and I knew he’d do anything to keep you safe and happy,” he answers. “He’s in love with you too, you know?”
“I know,” I answer.
“Your first match, he told me he’d do anything to make sure you’re happy, including step aside for you to be with me,” he confesses. “I think I knew then that you and I would never truly be together.”
“I never once acted on anything with him while we were together,” I tell him, letting some of t
he anger I’ve been keeping inside out. “You’re the one who did that.”
“I know,” he responds quickly as he raises his hands in the air in surrender. “I’m the one who messed this up and I know that. I am sorry I hurt you, Graycen.”
“Do you think we can still be friends?” I ask, finally looking back at him.
“I think I would like that a lot,” he says and smiles at me. “Can you trust me enough to be my friend?”
“I think I can,” I tell him and look back out over the field. “There’s someone out there for you, Ethan. Someone great, and when you meet her there won’t be any doubt in your mind that she’s the one.”
“You say that like you know he’s your one,” he says, and I look back over at him.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve known since we were kids. Tragedy ripped us apart, and fate pushed us back together,” I tell him honestly. “He and I are going to work on rebuilding our friendship before we work on anything else. It’s going to be one step at a time, but I think it’s going to be worth every step and stumble along the way.”
“This went better than I expected,” he confesses after a moment passes in silence. “How bad do your teammates hate me?”
“They don’t,” I assure him. “Wes and Rico want to kick your ass, but the others don’t know what happened. I’m not going to tell them either.”
“You always were too good for me,” he mutters.
“No,” I disagree. “We were both good for the other. We just weren’t meant to be together, and this made us both open our eyes and see that. Maybe you getting drunk and cheating on me wasn’t as bad as we both believed it was.”
“Maybe, but I never want to repeat that mistake, especially with the girl I made it with,” he says and shivers. “She’s truly insane.”
“Wes and Rico both know who she is,” I tell him, and he looks at me.
“You don’t?”
“I didn’t want to know,” I answer and shrug. “I didn’t want to see her on campus and compare myself to her.”
“There’s no comparison,” he tells me. “Comparing the two of you is like comparing Ariel and Ursula. You being Ariel, that is. She’s pretty enough I guess, but she’s not someone any decent guy would want a relationship with.”
“So, you were with her cause she was an easy lay?” I ask, arching an eyebrow at him.
“I was with her cause I was drunk,” he counters. “That’s it, the end. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
“Now I’m wondering if I do know her,” I mutter.
“Want me to tell you her name?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I respond. “What’s the point now? We’ve decided we’re not going to try to be together again, so there’s no point bringing her into it.”
“Yeah,” he responds and reaches over to take my hand. “Thank you for coming today.”
“We needed to have this talk before we could move forward,” I tell him and gently tug my hand from his. “I’ll text Gabe and tell him and Mario to stop giving you the cold shoulder.”
“How’d you know they were doing that?”
“Wes,” I answer and smile a little. “Mario wanted to kick your ass, too, by the way.”
“Pretty sure most of them did,” he tells me. “I deserve it though.”
“No,” I tell him quietly. “I’ll talk to them and tell them all that we’re okay. I’ll still come to your meets when I can, too. We’re going to try being friends, and I always support my friends.”
“See, too good for me,” he says and flashes his mega-watt grin that would have turned me into a puddle a week ago.
I shake my head then lean back and look at the sky. Dark clouds are starting to move in, and I sigh. “Looks like it’s going to storm.”
“Yeah,” he agrees then rises fluidly to his feet. When he holds out his hand to help me up, I take it and let him tug me to my feet. “We should head out.”
“Yeah,” I say, but stand there and look at him.
“Graycen,” he says softly, and I look up to meet his gaze. “Drive safely.”
“You too,” I tell him as I release his hand and take a step back. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah,” he responds as he picks up the bag of food I’d brought and the blanket.
We walk to our separate cars, but he hesitates before unlocking his.
“What’s wrong?” I ask softly, but he shakes his head then lowers it and brushes a soft kiss across my forehead.
“Be safe, Graycen,” he says then turns to his car. He tosses the blanket inside then slides behind the wheel. When he starts the car, he smiles at me one last time then backs out of the parking space.
I stand there and watch him drive away before I get into my own car and head back to my dorm room. I know I still have a lot to deal with over the next few weeks, but with my friends beside me, I know I can face whatever this life throws at me.
Thank You
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this book. I wrote this one because bowling has been part of my life for as long as I can remember, and now both of my daughters love the sport just as much as I do. I truly hope you enjoyed reading about Graycen and Alarico. We will visit with them again soon.
About the Author
Did someone say coffee?
Whether it be sassy vampire huntresses, spunky witches, or sarcastic humans; coffee is always Christina’s companion as she lets the voices in her head take control and lead the way. Which isn’t always the best idea.
Writing in a vast array of genres, from young adult to paranormal to borderline erotic, Christina never knows where her characters will take her next, but she sure enjoys the ride.
When she isn’t writing, Christina enjoys spending time with her kids, binge watching Friends, Criminal Minds, and Supernatural, and, of course, reading.
So, strap in and hold on tight as you join Christina on this roller-coaster she calls writing. It’s definitely going to be one hell of a ride.
You can keep up with her, and what her characters make her do next, by following her on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Amazon.
Instagram: www.instagram.com/writermom1980/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/WMom1980?s=07
Facebook:
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https://amazon.com/author/christinaescue
YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/2Gbrdgz
More from Christina
Second Chance Series
A New Beginning
A New Hope
A New Journey
Diane’s Remembrance
A New Perspective
A New Adventure
Vampire Huntress Saga
Karma’s Vengeance
Nevaeh’s Secret
Delanie’s Fury
Gina’s Passion
Nikki’s Past
Vampire Enforcement Bureau
Agent Johnson
Agent Jensen
Agent Ward (coming 2021)
Past, Present, and Future
Now and Forever
Switzerland Security Services
Starting Anew
Fair Bluff NC Series
Julia’s Letters
Manchester Pack
Rebecca & Zaire
Other Works
Santa Bandit
Keep Holding On
Solstice Series (co-written)
Changing Lanes (Lake Park University Book 1) Page 23