I nudged the girl to my left, who might as well have been her twin with the way her makeup was faded and her dark hair was tousled into knots. “Both of you, get out.”
I didn’t give them time to argue or try to entice me to let them stick around. Instead, I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. “You’re not out in twenty minutes, I’ll have the security downstairs drag you out.”
They both huffed as I locked the door behind me, but I wasn’t interested in how much they hated me now. My focus was in purging all the alcohol I’d consumed the night before and then calling the cleaning service I used to get the smell of their combined perfume out of my bed and the rest of my apartment.
After puking my guts out, and mentally making empty promises about never drinking to excess again, I took a hot shower. Taking my time to give them a minute to get dressed and out the door, I let the powerful spray ease my tense muscles.
This shit was getting old. Drinking and then bringing home a girl or two—or three—was starting to become boring as hell. Never thought I would think that, but it was true. This whole famous thing had been fun with all the pussy getting thrown my way on top of what I usually got, but I was already tired of it all.
Not just the chicks either. It was the constant flashing cameras snapping my picture if I so much as walked to the deli down the block for a sandwich or if I walked down the beach with my shirt off. Paps printing articles about what chick I was dating when they caught me leaving a bar or a club with someone. At first, it was kind of funny, but now it was just annoying as fuck.
Tainted Knights had been shooting upward on the charts, thanks to a few of Kin’s songs and with the help of our sweet-ass deal with Petrova Records. The summer-long tour we’d just gotten back from only spread our name out there more, and Emmie was already talking about us headlining our own tour in the fall of the following year. By then, I was hoping the Blondes could be our opening act.
Checking the time on my phone, I cursed and headed back into my bedroom. The two chicks were gone, but their perfume lingered. I texted the cleaning service, making sure they knew to change out everything on my bed, then got ready.
In the kitchen, all I could find was day-old pizza and week-old leftover Chinese food. Other than a few microwave meals, the freezer was empty with the exception of the bottles of vodka I kept in there. My stomach was tossing, and I knew I needed some grease or I was going feel like shit.
Grabbing my keys and wallet, I left my apartment. My car was parked downstairs in the garage, but I figured I would end up taking a cab after drinking later, so I walked to the deli down the street.
A five-pound burrito later and I was feeling halfway human again.
Keeping my sunglasses on and a ball cap pulled low, I walked around for a while, killing time. I had nowhere to be, having quit my job before the ink was even dry on the contract we signed with Petrova. Gray was home with Kassa, both of them still recovering from the grief of Kassa’s miscarriage. Kale was on vacation with Santana, and who knew what Cash was doing.
I figured Jace and Kin would be at First Bass if they were going out anywhere tonight, but I didn’t want to hang out with them. Jace was an even moodier motherfucker than I was lately, and considering I was still in the goddamn friend zone with Roanna, my moods were pure shit.
Thinking of the Blonde who took up too much of my mind on any given day, I debated going to the club and watching their show later. The summer tour that forced me to keep away from her hadn’t helped this addiction just to see her like I wanted it to. Since we’d gotten back, I still went every Thursday, I still stuck around after like some lost puppy wanting attention from its favorite person.
And she let me, damn it. I could see it in her eyes, could see the longing that was a constant ache in my gut flash at me when she didn’t think I was paying attention. She wanted me just as fucking much as I wanted her, but she was too stubborn to let me close enough to show her we could be good together.
I dicked around for a few more hours until the show was about to start and then grabbed a cab to First Bass. Instead of going upstairs to the VIP, I stayed on the first floor. The wait at the bar to get a beer was long because there were only two bartenders working. Upstairs, the crowd was just as big as on the first floor, but Nate seemed to be able to handle that shit all on his own, whereas it took at least three bartenders down here.
I waited my turn, keeping my sunglass on even in the dimness of the club because my head was still fucking throbbing.
“Hi,” a husky voice murmured from my left.
Turning my head, I found a brunette with the longest legs I’d ever seen sitting beside me, a glass of white wine in hand. From the flush in her cheeks, it wasn’t her first glass either. Her manicured fingers touched my arm, trailing up my arm seductively. “I’m Angelina, but my friends call me Lina.”
“Uh-huh,” I grunted, picking up my beer and dropping a ten on the bar top. Jerking my arm away, I pushed back from the bar and walked away. Lina was a sure thing, but I wasn’t looking to get laid tonight.
There was only one chick I wanted tonight, and I knew I wasn’t going to get anything more than to hang out with her for a few hours and—if I was lucky enough—feed her. I would take it.
The crowd was starting to get rowdy, and I realized it was five minutes past the normal time the Blondes took the stage. They were always on time, and when another few minutes passed with no sign of the band, I went looking for them.
Security opened the green room door when they saw me coming, their faces tight. My brows lifted at their expressions, but I didn’t ask what was going on. Something was wrong, but I would prefer the answer coming from the source rather than wasting time with half the story.
As soon as I walked into the room, I felt her tension. She was pacing back and forth, her hands clenching and unclenching into fists. She was wearing more clothes that she normally did to perform. Her usual shorts and fishnet leggings had been replaced by jeans, and the shredded shirt over the leather bralette I was fond of was absent. In its place, one of the Tainted Knights shirts I’d given her and the three other remaining Blondes before we left on the summer tour.
The excitement that would normally be radiating off Roanna before she took the stage was absent, and all I could feel was how stressed she was.
“Hey, douchebag,” Aubree greeted, the first to notice my entrance.
“What happened?” I demanded, stepping in front of Roanna, forcing her to stop and look up at me.
“Nothing,” she muttered, turning away to continue her pacing.
I grabbed her wrist before she could take another step, spinning her around to face me. “I said, what happened?”
She shivered under my touch and then seemed to deflate before my eyes. “Nothing,” she muttered weakly.
“The new bartender harassed her earlier,” Genesis spoke up. “He tried to proposition her.”
Rage filled me, but I kept my grasp on her gentle. “Where the fuck is he?” I asked, trying and failing to keep my tone calm.
“Probably the hospital,” London said with a laugh. “We beat the fuck out of him, man. I’m pretty sure his balls are ruptured, and Aubree may have broken his nose.”
Despite how pissed I was at the faceless bartender, a grin lifted my lips. “Good for you three. Beers on me later.”
“If there is a later,” Genesis said with a worried sigh. “Ro has been trying to psych herself up to go out there since the incident earlier. Harris offered us the night off, but she was insistent the show go on tonight.”
“I’ll be fine. Just give me five more minutes,” Roanna muttered, tugging at her wrist.
I tightened my hold and pulled her against me. As I wrapped my arms around her, I felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. I breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her hair. Her free hand clutched at my shirt, fisting her fingers in the material, and she pressed her forehead to my chest.
Holding her like this, I felt like ev
erything was right with the world.
Rubbing my hand up and down her back, I touched my lips to the top of her head. “Give me the word, and I’ll find the motherfucker and finish what the others didn’t,” I vowed.
She snorted. “No thanks. I like you too much to ask you to commit murder. If you’re in prison, I can’t hang out with you.”
“Sure you can. You can visit me every Saturday.”
She lifted her head, a smile teasing at her luscious lips. Pink had filled her cheeks, replacing the ghostly white they had been when I’d first walked in. “I would much rather you came here every Thursday than have to find inventive ways to sneak you in a shank each week.”
“Ah, sweet girl, you would bring me weapons? I knew you cared.” Winking, I hugged her again then stepped back. “Now, move your beautiful ass before they riot out there.”
But she still had a death grip on my shirt. “Come with me?” she asked hesitantly.
“Always,” I whispered so only she could hear me.
Her eyes darkened, her fingers flexing in my shirt. As I watched, I saw a few of her walls begin to crack. Fuck yeah, it took long enough, but she was finally starting to let me in again.
“Ro, let’s go,” Aubree called, she and the other two already at the door waiting for Roanna.
I untangled her fingers from my shirt and brought her hand to my lips. “I’m right behind you,” I promised.
Chapter 10
Roanna
For the first time since realizing my talent for music, I walked onstage not so I could become another person and leave behind my nightmares for a short time. I walked out there for Sin. I sang and performed for him and only him.
Up there, I could show him everything I didn’t want him to see when I was back to being the lost girl who was scared of the big, bad boogeyman. There was nothing scary about Sin—with the exception of how terrified I was of how I felt for him.
He stayed to the side of the stage, right beside our security that kept the crowd at bay. And like a moth to a flame, I kept gravitating back there to be closer to him.
All evening, I’d been lost in my own head, anxious and scared after the way Todd the bartender had asked me to suck his dick, then offered me twenty bucks when I ignored him. I should have punched him in the face or kicked him in the balls or broken his ribs like my soul sisters did in my defense. Instead, all I did was retreat into myself, becoming the lost and scared girl Sicko Stan turned me into.
I was still lost, still agonizing over having to go and perform like nothing happened, when Sin showed up. The instant his hand touched me, my fear and anxiety began to retreat, and I could finally draw a big enough breath without feeling as if I was going to vomit.
When the last song ended, my throat felt like I’d swallowed liquid fire. The lights went down, and I left the stage.
Sin was waiting for me there and took my hand as soon as I reached him. I linked my fingers through his, walking beside him back to the green room. A cooler full of ice and bottles of water was already waiting on the table between the two couches for us, along with a pot of hot water and everything I needed to make a mug of the tea that soothed my throat.
“Holy shit, that was a good show,” London laughed as she and Genesis plopped down on the couch across from Sin and me.
“Yeah, we definitely don’t need to replace Peyton when we can perform like that with just the four of us,” Genesis said with a smirk. “Crazy bitch did us a favor when she pissed Harris off and we had a good enough reason to get rid of her.”
“I still miss that apartment her pops paid for, though,” Aubree grumbled as she twirled a drumstick around her fingers, propping her feet up on the table and burrowing her ass more comfortably in the chair.
“Yeah, I miss the shower we had. It was perfect. But the place we live in now is decent,” Genesis told her.
“When we hit it big like the TK fuckers, we’ll buy a house big enough to suit us all,” London promised. “Then we can throw parties every night, and Genesis can slut it up all she wants in her own room because we won’t have to share anymore.”
I fixed my tea, shaking my head mutely at the three of them. After Peyton nearly cost us our contract with Harris, we kicked her ass out of the band, and she kicked us to the curb. We found a small two-bedroom apartment we could afford without having to get second jobs. I didn’t mind sharing or the lack of space as long as Peyton was gone from our lives. She nearly fucked us over with her obsession with Harris and trying to make him jealous, forcing him back from his vacation with Lucy Thornton the previous summer.
We hadn’t seen her since, especially after Emmie Armstrong blacklisted her, and no other bands would even consider her playing bass for them.
Now Harris was engaged to the beautiful Lucy and planning their wedding, and we were doing better than ever. With Peyton out of our lives, Natalie Cutter was starting the paperwork to become our manager since Annabelle Brockman had given her assent.
“I’m starving,” Genesis complained. “Let’s go eat. I don’t want to hang around here tonight.”
“We ate like two hours ago,” London complained. “And you ordered half the menu because Harris was footing the bill. You’re turning into a cow, Gen.”
“You’re just jealous I can eat all I want and not have to puke it back up or work myself to death in the gym like you do,” Genesis snipped back.
Sensing a fight about to erupt between them, I lifted my hands at them to stop.
“Ladies,” Sin’s deep voice growled. “Chill the fuck out.”
“I don’t want to go eat,” London whined.
“So, don’t. You can drink while we eat,” Sin told her with a roll of his eyes. “Stop being a whining bitch, London.”
I sat back with my mug of tea, hiding my grin as I lifted it to my lips.
“Why do we let you hang with us again?” she groused.
“I don’t hang out with you. I hang out with Ro. Don’t give a shit if you’re around or not.” He pulled out his phone. “Where do you want to eat, sweet girl?”
I leaned into his shoulder, looking at his phone’s screen. He brought up a few restaurants within walking distance, and I pointed to the one I liked the best.
“Don’t you ever eat meat?” he asked, but he already knew the answer. In the year and a half he’d known me, I hadn’t eaten it once in front of him. It wasn’t like I was a hardcore vegan. I still ate dairy and even eggs at times, but I hadn’t eaten meat since I was eleven.
I shrugged, sipping my tea, letting the heat and honey soothe my throat.
“You’re addicted to those damn veggie burgers,” he said with a smirk, draping his arm along the back of the couch, his fingers stroking over my shoulder. “What’s it gonna take to get you to eat a real burger, sweet girl?”
I shivered as he leaned in closer, but I lifted a brow at him in challenge. Make this interesting, I dared him with my eyes.
“I smell a bet about to go down,” Aubree said, sitting forward excitedly, rubbing her hands together like an evil villain. “Ro, you up for that?”
Not taking my eyes off Sin, I nodded.
“Make him work for it!” Genesis insisted. “It has to be something he can’t win at easily, like bench-pressing all of us at once or some shit. We’ve seen him at the gym enough to know he could pick us all up with one arm if he really wanted to.”
“Something he will hate too,” London chimed in. “Like, he has to give up sex and booze for an entire month, and then she will eat a steak or whatever.”
“I can give up both easily,” Sin told her, his gaze still trapped with mine. “But I’m down for whatever challenge Roanna wants to throw my way.”
I downed the rest of my tea in one gulp without flinching at the heat, then grinned up at him. “You really want to see me eat meat?” He nodded, his head dipping closer. “What will you give me in return?”
“Sweet girl, I’d give you the fucking moon if you said you wanted it,” he said in a lo
w growl near my ear. “Tell me what you want, and it’s yours. You don’t even have to eat the fucking meat.”
Pleasure shot up and down my spine, causing goose bumps to pop up along the way. Biting my lip, I tilted my head back until our eyes met again. “I want you to sing with me.”
Surprise flashed over his face before he masked it. “Say what now?”
I laughed and repeated myself. “I want you to sing with me. Next week, one song. You do it, and I’ll eat one bite of steak or chicken. Your choice.”
His brows pulled together as he contemplated me. “Is that what you really want?”
“Yes. Are you scared? Is the big, bad, chart-topping rock star scared to sing with me?” I teased.
“I can get Jace to sing with you,” he offered. “He’s got a better voice.”
I shook my head. “Nope. No deal. I want you and only you.”
“Fuck,” he groaned. “All right, fine.”
“Well, shit,” London grumbled. “I thought you were going to make him do something ridiculous, Ro. Like make him get ten guys’ numbers within a single night.”
I snorted. “Getting anyone’s number would be too easy for him. All he has to do is bat those lashes, and men and women alike trip over themselves to give him whatever he asks for.”
“Yeah, well, I’m still waiting to get what I want the most,” he muttered so low I barely heard him.
I touched his arm. “What is it that you want the most?”
His eyes darkened as he looked down at me, and I didn’t need him to give me a verbal answer. It was all there in his eyes.
Me.
He wanted me the most.
Chapter 11
Roanna
I wasn’t kidding about wanting to sing with Sin. I loved his voice, could pick it out of any of the others when they were singing backup. It reminded me a lot of Andy Biersack, and I knew we would sound amazing together.
He seemed reluctant about it, however, but I wasn’t going to let him back out of our deal. I wanted this more than anything, ever, and he’d already promised he would. No way was I letting him back out.
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