by Serena Grey
“A British hunk?” She gave me an impish smile. “I already have, and luckily, he loves it here, close to everyone I know and love.”
“What if he changes his mind? What if your camera falls in love with England?”
“That won’t happen,” she assured me, giving me a quick hug. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. What kind of friend would abandon you with an ogre like Jason?”
I laughed. “Jason is not an ogre.”
“He’s not.” Amy smiled sadly. “You know there’s a chance he’s not affected right? It’s carried in a dominant gene, and if he’s not affected, he won’t be a carrier either.”
“And if he is affected, then his mother is right—he will break my heart, and if we ever decide to have children…” I sighed. “You know, I don’t even want to think about it at all. I know it’s not very mature of me, but I keep hoping it’ll all go away.”
Amy nodded. “Me too. Sometimes I wish we’d never gone.”
I was silent. “I don’t care about what might happen decades from now,” I said heatedly. “I don’t.”
“And if he’s going to get sick in a few years, ten, fifteen…what then? What happens when he doesn’t even recognize you anymore?” Amy stopped talking, and her eyes grew misty.
My eyes filled with tears. “He will always be Jason to me, always, no matter what.”
“I know that.” She sniffed. “Jason is lucky to have you.”
I sighed. “He knows there’s something wrong.”
“Of course he does. You two are, like, on the same wavelength. I’m sure he can read your thoughts and moods.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, and he knows there’s something wrong when his little sister runs off as soon as she sees him.”
“Oh!” Her mouth opened. “I just…I’ve never been able to lie to Jason. I was scared I would blurt everything out.”
“I get it.” I drained my wine then lay back on the bed, resting my head on Amy’s soft pillows. “I don’t know what to tell him.”
“Whatever you decide, I’m sure you’ll do the right thing, and everything will turn out fine.”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice tight. I wished I could share her optimism, but I wasn’t sure just how everything was going to work out fine.
The next day, we said our goodbyes to Amy and Colin at the airport.
“Don’t worry, I’ll bring her back,” Colin said.
“You’d better,” Jason joked. He gave Amy a fond look. “She still has a lot to answer for.”
“Just say you’ll miss me,” Amy teased.
Jason shrugged. “Maybe a little.”
She gave him a playful punch in the shoulder, and he pulled her in for a hug. She held him tightly, her hands barely going around him. When she stepped back, there were tears in her eyes. “You’re the best,” she said.
“Hey.” Jason looked puzzled. “It’s just a couple of days.
“I know.” She sniffed then hugged me as well. “See you guys when we get back.”
We watched them go, and when they were out of sight, Jason turned to me, a look of concern on his handsome face. “You think she’s okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied. I knew exactly why Amy had been teary, but I couldn’t tell him. “I’ll miss her.”
“You’ve got me,” he said, giving me a cute grin as we started to walk to where the car was waiting. “And I have plans for you.”
“Oh, do tell me about them.”
“I will,” he said mysteriously.
Our things were already in the car, packed for a short trip. Once we were settled in, Leonard started the long drive to the beach house.
“Don’t worry about Amy,” I told Jason. “She’s happy.”
He was quiet. “How about you?”
“Am I happy?”
He nodded, his eyes searching mine, dark with an emotion that looked like uncertainty.
“Jason,” I whispered. “I’ve never been happier in my life.”
He cradled me in his arms, and as the car sped through the city and out onto the highway, I fell asleep in his arms.
I loved the sound the waves made when they rolled into the beach. It soothed me. I breathed in the scent of the sea on the breeze as the porch swing swayed with my weight. I was wearing a thin robe as it wasn’t cold enough to require much else, but there was enough of a breeze that I had to keep rubbing my feet together to keep them warm.
Jason appeared at the door, and I craned my neck so I could follow him with my eyes as he came to join me. He was wearing sweatpants only, and they were low enough on his hips that I could stare at his exquisite abs and the hard muscles that tapered down toward his hips.
His hair was mussed—by my fingers—but he somehow managed to look many kinds of edible. He was carrying two tall glasses with pieces of fruit floating in the chilled drinks inside.
“Sangria?” He raised a wicked brow at me.
I grinned. “Yes, please.”
He handed me a glass and sat at the edge of the swing.
I took a sip and sighed. “This is good.”
His fingers moved idly over my back. “I have many skills.”
“Believe me, I know.”
He laughed, and his fingers drifted to my lower back. I closed my eyes.
“I’m really beginning to love this place,” I said quietly.
“Really?” He looked at me. “How much?”
I shrugged. “Very much.”
“That’s good,” he said. “Because I just bought it.”
My eyes widened. “You did what?”
“It seems like an essential part of our history, don’t you think?” He grinned at me. “I want us to be able to come here whenever we want.”
I placed my glass on the floor then rose to my knees. I cupped his face in my hands and covered his lips with mine. His mouth was cool and tasted of sangria. I stroked his tongue with mine, heat and desire spreading through me. His hand tightened at my back.
“I love you,” I whispered when I stopped to breathe.
He placed his glass on the floor next to mine and eased me down to my back, covering my body with his. He started to kiss me again, but then his phone rang, interrupting us.
He groaned and pulled the offending device from his pocket.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I shook my head. “No biggie. We have all day, and all night.”
His eyes flared. He placed a kiss on my bare belly then got up and accepted the call, walking off toward the water as he spoke into the phone. I lay admiring his body for a moment before rolling off the swing. I took my glass of sangria and went into the house, imagining all the time Jason and I would spend there. I imagined inviting guests over to share idyllic weekends of sea and sand.
In the bedroom, I pulled off my robe and replaced it with a light sundress. I wanted to go for a walk while Jason was on the phone. If it was a work call, it could last for a while. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and decided against sandals. Going barefoot on the sand did wonders for my feet.
I started to leave the room then stopped to grab a sweater. I had one among my things, but I wanted to wear one of Jason’s instead. Apart from the size and coziness, they smelled of him, which was a bonus for my senses.
He’d put some of his things in a drawer in the dresser, and I opened it and found what I was looking for. I pulled out the blue-gray sweater, and just under it was a tiny black box.
I froze for a moment, my heart pounding like a waterfall as blood rushed through my veins, dizzying me. I reached for the box, hands shaking.
Don’t open it, a voice warned in my head, but I ignored it.
I flipped the top open and tears filled my eyes.
Inside was a beautiful ring, a square-cut diamond surrounded by a cluster of smaller stones set into a filigreed platinum base. It was a modern design, but it looked incredibly classic and beautiful…the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen.
I heard Jason’s footsteps and quickly p
laced the ring and the sweater back in the drawer, pushing it closed just as he came into the room.
I frowned, surprised at the shuttered expression on his face.
“I have to leave,” he said.
I took a step toward him, mentally shelving the ring for the moment. “Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve called for a car to take me to the local airport. Leonard is on his way to pick you up and take you home.”
Just like that, our weekend was over. I stared at him, sure—almost with a sixth sense—that there was more he was keeping from me. He walked past me and started to gather his things.
Still reeling and puzzled, I did the same.
Chapter Seven
I didn’t hear anything from Jason the next day, or the next. I had no idea where he’d gone, and my best efforts to get any information out of Leonard during the long drive back home had been met with silence.
I called and I left messages, but he never responded. Monday came, and I went to work. I tried to focus even as half of my senses remained trained on my phone, waiting to hear from Jason.
By the third day, I was going crazy.
Amy called.
“Hey, roomie.” I could hear the bliss in her voice.
“How are you?”
“Great!” She laughed. “I love it here. Colin’s parents are so sweet, and their house! It’s lovely. There’s a big, beautiful garden, and it’s on a hill so you can see this small town all spread out not far away, and there’s a castle nearby.” She sighed. “It’s just lovely.”
“It sounds beautiful.”
“It is.” She paused. “How was the beach?”
I thought about the first night and the morning after. It had been lovely, until…until…I still wasn’t sure what’d happened, why Jason had cut our weekend short. “It was great,” I told Amy.
“And Jason?”
I didn’t want my problems to be a cloud over her happiness, so I lied. “He’s good.”
“Okay. I spoke to him earlier, and he sounded preoccupied. I thought it might be…you know…the thing with his mother, but I guess that was my imagination.”
“Hmm,” I replied noncommittally. There was an ache growing in my chest. He’d spoken to his sister but was ignoring my calls and my messages—why?
After I ended the call with Amy, I tried to call him again. It went to voicemail, and after the many messages I’d left, I didn’t see any point in leaving a new one.
There was no way I could keep ignoring the fact that he was avoiding me.
But why?
I hadn’t changed out of my work clothes, so I pulled a sweater over my dress and slipped on a pair of ballet flats as I requested a ride on my phone.
I wasn’t going to sit around and wait. If there was something I needed to know, I was going to find out.
At Jason’s building, I entered the reception area, giving the doorman at the desk a small smile as I headed for the elevators. I let myself into the quiet apartment. It took me only a few minutes to realize he wasn’t home.
I didn’t even know if he was back in town. Unsure what to do, I went to the couch, deciding to wait for a few hours at least.
I switched on the TV and started watching a Disney movie. After a while, I fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes, the movie was still on, and Jason was standing a few feet away from the couch, watching me sleep.
There was something about the way he looked at me that made me feel loved—above anything else, loved. I rose, still sleepy, and watched uncomprehendingly as he retreated from me and his face went blank.
“Hey.” I tried to smile, though there was a slow tension growing in my stomach. “You’re back.”
He turned away. “Long day at the office.”
He sounded remote, emotionless. I rose to my feet and took a step toward him. “Is everything okay?”
He exhaled. “Everything’s fine, but I’m tired. I planned to come home and go straight to bed.”
I stared at him. “So?”
He ignored me and took off his jacket then threw it over the back of an armchair. I was still standing, feeling almost frozen, yet unsteady.
“You didn’t return any of my calls.” My voice was shaky, and I wondered what I was missing. Why was he being so…so cold?
He met my gaze, and his eyes burned with something I couldn’t understand. “I’ve called Leonard,” he said, his voice so impersonal it scraped at my insides like rough gravel. “He’ll take you home.”
“You’re asking me to leave?”
He didn’t respond, just switched off the TV and started toward the bedroom.
“Jason.” I followed him. “What the fuck is going on?”
He stopped walking and turned to face me. I shrunk back at the iciness in his eyes.
“Nothing.” His voice was like cold water on my skin. “There’s nothing going on. Just…Leonard will take you home.”
“Seriously, Jason?” I shook my head. “Seriously? I’m just supposed to leave? You’re not even going to explain yourself…explain your silence?”
He shrugged. “I already told you, I’m tired.”
I blinked. “I must be dreaming,” I muttered to myself. I searched his face. He looked tired and drawn. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He sighed. “I already said there’s nothing wrong. Leonard will—”
“Stop it!” My voice rose. “I can find my own way home!”
“Daphne—”
“No!” Tears blurred my vision. “Don’t. Don’t talk to me. You don’t get to ask me to leave then act concerned about how I get home.”
I turned on my heel, and he followed me back to the living room. I opened the door and turned to face him, more confused than ever at the pain I saw on his face.
“Jason…” I watched as his face shuttered again, setting up an unbreachable wall between him and me.
I stepped out of his apartment and shut the door behind me.
I tried not to cry as the elevator took me to the ground floor. The doorman at the desk looked surprised to see me leaving, and I ignored him, rushing out of the building. Outside the doors, a few feet away on the curb, Jason’s black SUV was already waiting with Leonard standing by the door, ready to drive me home.
I ignored him and started to walk, feeling somewhat guilty as the older man ran to catch up with me.
“It’s too far to walk all the way,” he said matter-of-factly.
I stopped and faced him. “What happened to him?” I demanded, almost ashamed to have to ask someone else what was going on with the man I loved.
“I don’t know,” Leonard replied gravely, not meeting my eyes.
A gust of wind blew, and a few drops of moisture landed on my skin.
“It’s going to rain in a bit,” he said gently. “Let me take you home. My only other choice is to walk all the way with you, and I’m an old man.”
“You’re trying to blackmail me, Leonard,” I said, smiling shakily through my tears. “And I could get a ride, you know.”
“Pretend that’s what I am.” His smile was almost fatherly, and it made me want to cry and maybe hug him for the comfort I so dearly needed. Not wanting to embarrass myself, I hurried to the car. Leonard somehow got there before me and opened the door, letting me into the cool interior that smelled unbearably like Jason.
I stayed quiet for the few short minutes it took to get home. I felt lost, like I was floating in a sea of confusion. How had Jason gone from the person I’d spent the weekend with to the man I’d just left? It made no sense.
The car stopped, and I pushed open the door and slid out.
“Take care now,” Leonard said.
I lifted my hand in a weak wave as I walked toward the entrance of my building, and he waited till I was safely inside before driving away. As I went upstairs, I wondered how many women he’d dropped off just like that when his boss was done with them.
I shook my head. The idea that Ja
son was ‘done with me’ was something I couldn’t accept. He loved me. He was mine. There was no reason to doubt his feelings for me.
Except that he just threw you out of his home.
I ignored the hateful reminder and wandered around my apartment, unsure what to do. I considered calling Amy, but I couldn’t bring myself to share my worries for fear they’d become real.
I showered and got ready for bed. I listened to Jason’s old messages on my phone. I finally fell asleep and dreamed of Jason showing me a ring then slamming a door in my face, over and over again.
I was dying, at least that was how I felt, like a knife was inching toward my heart and the longer I went without hearing anything from Jason, the closer it came to bleeding me out.
“Janice says hi,” Candace said one afternoon. We were having lunch close to the office. I really wasn’t hungry, but it helped to get out of enclosed spaces. “She wants to know if Jason is open to attending more of her parties and reading any more poems?”
I tried to smile. “It was more of a one-time thing.”
“I told her that,” Candace said. “He’s really something, though. You should keep him.”
I must have become very good at acting like there was nothing wrong, because she couldn’t tell that with each word, I was breaking apart inside. I nodded. “I plan to.”
“So…don’t quote me, but I hear you’re being considered for a promotion.” She smiled at me. “How does senior editor sound?”
I tried to muster enthusiasm. “It sounds great.”
“I thought you’d be more excited.”
“I am.” I sighed. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
Candace peered at me. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and crumpled my paper plate. “I gotta go,” I told her, giving her no time to ask any more questions. I went back to my office and buried myself in work.
The week went by painfully. On Thursday, I was still at work when Amy called. I hesitated to answer, unsure how to deal with her happiness when I was drowning in pain, but I missed her too much to resist an opportunity to talk to her.
“What’s up?” she chirped. “What’s going on?”