by Rina Kent
But when I crawl into bed at night, he wraps his arms around me, and that’s it. Just a hug, and all of his knots disappear.
I love that I have that effect on him. He’s been making me feel safe since that first night he caged me from behind and told me to sleep. Driving his worries away is the least I can do.
But every morning, he wakes up early and goes about his endless responsibilities. Or boxes with Shadow. Whom I’ve been watching like a hawk these past few days.
Since the control room is still buzzing with guards, with no way to get inside for now, I decided to follow the next lead I have. ‘The man who lured Zoe to God knows what.’ As Scar said.
Shadow is furiously loyal to Julian like he’s his brother or something. I’ve heard him argue with Mist, but when it comes to Julian, he’s usually on board with whatever he decides.
Julian cares about him, too. The only person aside from Mist that Julian spends alone time with is Shadow – well, and me. Although they still bleed each other when boxing, it appears to be their way to vent pent up energy.
That’s why a part of me, a stupid little part that’s all caught up in Julian’s maze, doesn’t want Shadow to be involved in Zoe’s disappearance. He’s his best mate, and I don’t want Julian trapped in the middle.
It would be different if this is all on Mist. I can confront that cold witch without any remorse.
So these past few days, I’ve been learning Shadow’s habits – what there’s to learn anyway. The only known facts are: he’s an underground boxer and one of the rulers in this place.
That’s it.
Raiding his room produced complete rubbish. There was nothing. He’s even worse than Julian. It’s like they made it their mission not to have anything personal in their bedrooms.
Perhaps they do. They’re all unnamed assassins after all.
Shadow’s activities are mostly outside. When he’s in Le Salon, he supervises from the side. It’s creepy how he blends in with the shadows and how silent his steps can be. Just like Julian.
When he’s not boxing with Julian or huddled in Mist’s office, Shadow disappears off the face of the earth.
So today, I decided to follow him. Julian would kill me if he finds out I left Le Salon with Johnny lurking out there.
‘When I’m not here, stay with Scar,’ were his words when I saw him briefly in the afternoon.
Then he stole a passionate kiss and left Le Salon.
I trace my lips in remembrance, then shake my head out of the daze. Disobeying Julian isn’t smart, but I have to know where Shadow disappears to.
What if he kidnapped Zoe and visits her whenever he leaves?
I stack Julian’s wrath to the back of my mind and put on my hoodie, my track trousers and my lucky trainers. God. I missed this outfit. Two gloves and I would resurrect my previous life.
No idea if I will ever go back to the underground rings anymore. Yes, boxing will always be a part of me, but I don’t think I can do those competitions anymore. I loved the rush and high of fighting, but truth is; they always sucked the life out of me. I didn’t consider leaving before because I needed the money to build a life for me and Zoe.
That went to the back-burner because finding her is a priority.
I follow Shadow out of Le Salon’s backdoor. I keep a safe distance as he weaves into the busy streets. Grey afternoon sky casts a gloom in the distance.
My breathing is controlled as I hide behind buildings and people while keeping up with Shadow’s relaxed pace. He’s wearing a white T-shirt and dark jeans that hang low on his hips. I noticed that he’s always in white T-shirts. Perhaps it’s to contrast the full sleeves of his colourful, tiger tattoos. His dark blond hair is messy and bedroom-like.
He’s really handsome, not the model type like Kyle and nowhere near the delicious-dark type like Julian. But Shadow has this aura about him that screams danger and fun. It’s an odd combination but fits him so well.
This man, a killer, could be involved in Zoe’s disappearance. Julian said they don’t hurt the girls, but what if Shadow did something to Zoe behind everyone’s back?
He rules this place. Surely, he can cover his tracks.
My muscles tense, and I clench my fists in my pockets as I continue following him.
The distance is so long. We walk for more than thirty minutes. Why the hell didn’t he bring a car if he’s going this far?
He takes a few turns and the more I follow him, the further he separates himself from people.
My pulse picks up as we take familiar streets.
Super familiar.
I freeze near a rusty door as Shadow rounds the corner to our old neighbourhood. The one we lived in with our foster family.
It couldn’t be a coincidence that Shadow came here.
With careful footsteps, I follow him down the street. I come to a screeching halt behind the corner as Shadow crosses the street.
The place he heads to causes sweat to beam on my forehead.
The late Mrs Adler’s lake house. Mine, Zoe, and Liam’s hiding place. My eyes are almost bulging out as Shadow stands in front of the huge metal gate. The house has been abandoned for more than a decade, since Mrs Adler’s death. The three of us have been saving to buy it from her wanker of a son. The small lake in the garden has become all murky and filled with leaves. The lake house that we used to swim to is all chipped and old.
How the hell did Shadow find out about this? Even if he knew Zoe, why would she tell him about this place? It was our secret.
Once again, a bitter taste of betrayal explodes in my mouth. First, she hid her mission, then she hid Shadow, and now, it seems that she shared our secrets with Shadow.
I scan my surroundings before I start to cross the street. A shadow passes in my peripheral vision. I whirl around to come face to face with Shadow himself.
My heart falls to my knees.
He has one hand in his trousers’ pocket, his expression unreadable. “Why are you following me?”
“I’m not.” I laugh it off, pretending to stretch. “I was only out for a jog in the area.”
“Does Julian know you’re out for a jog in the area?” There’s no body language or change of voice whatsoever as he retrieves his phone. “He should know.”
Shit. Shit!
I’m about to stop him, but it’s too late. He’s already speaking on the phone, his pointed gaze on me. “Elle is outside taking a jog so Johnny’s men will come fetch her.”
“I’m not!” I shout, hoping Julian will hear.
Shadow pauses for a second, listening, then he cites the address and ends the call with. “I’m not a fucking baby sitter.”
“Why did you say it that way?” I point a finger at him. “I’m not out here to beckon Johnny’s men over.”
Now, Julian will hate me. Dammit.
“Listen here, Emmanuelle.” His eyes rage as if they will flicker red. “You have no fucking idea what he’s put on the line for you. A bloody war, a rift with Mist, risking his mates lives, and Kyle being shot. All of those are because of your pretty little face so when he says to stay put, the least you can do is stay fucking put.”
Tears gather in my eyes. I hate myself for them. I hate myself for going out in the first place. How could I expect to find anything from an assassin like Shadow?
I just pissed off Julian for nothing.
Except that this arsehole must mean something to Zoe if she let him into our secret.
Said arsehole turns around so his back faces me. I’ve no doubt that if I try to escape, he would pounce on me. Not that I have any desire to run away. I’m covered to my ears in shame. I wish the earth would open up and swallow me before I have to face Julian.
He stood up to his mates and companions for me, and I ignored his one request.
Ugh. Am I supposed to feel this bad about it?
A black Mercedes approaches us in maddening speed. My heart crawls to the floor.
Shadow doesn’t even acknowledge me. As soon
as Julian’s car stops, he crosses the street and disappears around the corner. I push off the wall on unsteady feet and trudge towards the passenger side.
My hands are sweaty and shaking as I open the door. Why do I feel like the worst person ever because I disappointed Julian?
He’s nothing.
If he’s nothing, then why am I itching to beg for his forgiveness?
I settle in the front seat with snail movements like a scared kitten. Julian’s face is stone cold. Except for the slight tick in his jaw, there are no feelings. I’m chilled to the bone just looking at him. This must be the killer, merciless version. And it’s because of me that he’s royally pissed off.
“Julian, I – ” The car revs forward with a force that shuts me up.
I hold on to the seatbelt as we weave through the streets. Despite being obviously angry, Julian doesn’t speed up so much. I bite the inside of my cheek as I steal glances of him. His side profile is sharp and hot as hell.
God. What am I thinking about while he’s obviously fuming?
As soon as we’re inside Le Salon’s car park, he barely shuts off the engine and barges out of the car. I don’t have time to reach for my own door. He yanks it open and stands there with a closed off expression. I swallow and unfasten my seatbelt then step out.
Julian strides towards the safe house. He doesn’t have to say anything. I follow him, head bowed, and my tail tucked between my legs.
Mist intercepts us. She stands in front of Julian wearing a fitted dress that flatters those stupid curves.
She’s crossing her arms under her chest, a smirk on her lips. “I told you she would be trouble.” Her haughty gaze looks down on me. “Ungrateful brat.”
My blood boils. All the self-loathing translates into blinding anger. How dare the redhead witch school me as if I were a kid? I lunge at her, fists raised. “Fuck you! Who do you think you are to talk to me that way?”
Her stance widens as if ready to snap my neck.
Bring it on, bitch.
Strong arms wrap around my waist, and my legs dangle mid-air. I’m hauled off the ground before I can reach Mist. I try to squirm free from Julian’s hold, but he carries me kicking and yelling profanities in her direction.
It’s only after the door of the room closes behind us and Julian drops me on the bed that I fall limp. Adrenaline causes a tremor to course down my arms.
Without Mist to convert this shame into anger, I’m all alone with a cold Julian and a tomb’s silence. It ripples between us in an unwanted tension.
I grab a fistful of my hood as I stand. “Julian, say something. Would you?”
Yelling or punching is a lot better than the unbearable silence.
“Julian...” I reach out a tentative hand towards him. “I’m sorry.”
He grabs my wrist in his hand, his eyes a blazing fire. “So you know how to be sorry but you don’t know how to fucking stay in a safe place? I only asked you one thing. One fucking thing.”
“I know.” Tears spring to my eyes. I can’t believe how easy it is for Julian to make me this weak. “I am sorry. I really am.”
His scowl meets me. Eerie, frightening darkness laces his words. “I should throw you out there. Or better yet, I should call Johnny to come take you. Why does he have to look for you in the streets when he can pick you up? You would want that, won’t you?”
A pang hits my chest, but I manage to say, “You don’t mean that. You’re just angry.”
“Fuck right, I’m angry. What the fuck were you thinking, Elle? What in the bloody hell was going through your head?”
“I’m sorry. I promise not to do it again.” I try to coax him, using the sentence I know he loves the most – and I’m beginning to think I love it the most, too. “I’m yours, Julian.”
“Mine?” He barks a laughter and before I know it, he pushes me backwards. I stumble and fall onto the bed. He imprisons both my wrists and yanks them over my head. His body hovers over mine. His thighs cage my waist as he hisses in hot sultry words. “If you were mine, you wouldn’t put yourself in fucking danger, now would you, Elle?”
I whimper but say nothing.
“Answer me!”
“No, Julian.” I croak.
The raw anger swirling in his eyes turns into blankness. The disappearance of any trace of the Julian I know scares the hell out of me. It’s like he’s morphing into that robotic version I witnessed in Mist’s office. I don’t want that.
I hate that.
I try to wriggle free, but he digs his fingers into my flesh. “Julian, p-please. You’re hurting me.”
Not only physically. It’s the deep indifference on his face that’s gnawing at me.
He lets go with a jerk as if electrocuted and pushes back, shaking his head. Deep pain covers his features as he turns to leave.
I clutch his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t go.”
Julian doesn’t move, whether to leave or to stay, so I stand up and wrap my arms around his waist from behind. My cheek rests against his rigid back muscles as I whisper, “I’m sorry. I really mean it. Don’t leave this way.”
He turns around so my arms are surrounding his waist from the front. His fingertips tilt my chin, and I stare into his eyes. They’re clearer now. Intense but human, I want to cry tears of joy.
“Don’t you ever do that again,” he enunciates. “Ever.”
I nod. “Don’t be angry with me again. It was scary.”
“You know what’s scary? Imagining that you fell in Johnny’s hands or were taken to who knows where. That’s fucking scary, Firefly.” His lips part in unison with mine as if surprised by his confession as much as I am.
“I won’t do it again,” I say softly. He’s calling me Firefly. Meaning, I’m on his good side.
“Fuck right you won’t.” His grip on my chin tightens. “There’s nothing I won’t do to protect those I care about. All I demand in return is loyalty.”
I bury my face in his chest half to hide my stupid tears and half to hide from his scrutinising gaze. Or else, he will be able to figure out my secrets.
If Julian finds out I’m undercover or that I’m working with Liam, this tale will be over.
So to make him and myself forget about this whole mess, I tiptoe and seal my lips to his. My fingers thread in his hair, and I lick and nip on his bottom lip. Julian grunts and grabs a handful of my hips as he kisses me back, but he’s still tense.
I gently push him back until he’s sitting on the bed. I slowly climb atop of him until I’m straddling his lap. Julian raises an eyebrow but says nothing. In fact, he places both hands on the mattress and leans back as if looking forward to what I will do.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but Julian makes me feel so confident. There’s this look in his eyes, darkened and fierce, but also affectionate. I want to drown in those browns indefinitely.
My fingers clasp his jacket, and I slowly, too slowly, push it off his shoulder. My lips find his neck and I nibble on the hot skin.
Julian’s erection pokes into the inside of my thighs. I take the encouragement and roll my hips against him. My body heats, and the friction shoots sparks of pleasure through me.
I increase my tempo, rubbing against him and sucking on his neck.
Julian growls. His eyes turn wild with need. He grabs me by the hips and flips me on my back.
I squeal, but I’m not out of the surprise as he rips my clothes and thrusts into me in pure Julian fashion. His pounds are out of fucking control, it’s almost painful. With each punishing thrust, he hits my sweet spot. Pain and pleasure intertwine so closely, it drives me mad. I wrap my legs tightly around his sublime waist, loving how he can’t restrain himself for me. A wild scream rips from my throat as an intense orgasm hits me.
Julian curses and swallows my screams with his mouth. His tongue swirls around mine as he follows me over the edge.
I can barely open my eyes as our sleek bodies curve into each other. I fall asleep cocooned in his strong
arms. That unfamiliar sense of calmness overwhelms me.
It’s strange that these arms, a killer’s arms, are the safest place to be.
I dream about blood and gunshots. Then, I open my eyes and realise it isn’t a dream.
Gunshots are all around the safe house.
21
Ghost
The sound of bullets pops in the distance. Long and continuous.
I grab my gun from under my pillow and jump to my feet. I yank on the nearest shirt and shove my legs into some trousers.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Energy rushes through my limbs. A need to protect. Only one thought remains: kill.
No idea who the assailants are, but if they think they can come for Kyle under my watch, then they have another thing coming.
Kill.
Fucking kill.
“Julian?”
My head snaps to the stunning woman lying on my bed, clutching a sheet around her torso. She kneels and reaches for my arm. The moment her fingers wrap around my bicep, my pulse calms. Or more like it dims to almost nothing.
The need to kill is still there, but this time, it isn’t because of the remnants of Omega or my killer’s instinct. This time, it’s because I need to keep this woman safe. No matter what.
“What’s going on?” Elle’s bright blue eyes are wide and her breathing is shallow, but she remains completely still. If it was anyone else, they would be freaking out.
But Firefly isn’t anyone else.
Her strength makes me unexplainably proud. That’s my woman.
I tilt her head with my fingers so I’m staring into that deep blue. “Don’t move from here.”
She nods slowly.
“I mean it, Elle. Don’t even think about repeating yesterday.”
The thought of what that bastard Johnny could’ve done if he found her boils my blood.
“I won’t,” she murmurs.
“I will place a few guards around here. If you move, it will be impossible to protect you.”
Her lips tremble, but she presses them in a stiff line. “Don’t move. Got it.”