by C R Martens
13.
Asking for help is never easy. However, you sometimes learn that help is there regardless of you asking for it or not. You are not supposed to know when the end is near, but I think everyone has a feeling when it is close. I saw it coming and I walked right towards it, ignoring my feelings warning me about the end. I saw it coming.
It was supposed to be a simple job but it ended in chaos and with several people dead. Eve stood in her room, back pressed up against the door as if trying to prevent someone from coming in, but no one was coming. She was covered in blood spatter, Landen stood by the window looking out, frozen. Everything had gone wrong, nobody was supposed to have died, yet seven did, two of them FIA agents.
“Did you get everything?” Landen turned and looked at Eve. “HEY! Did you get everything off Parit and Madden?”
“Yes,” she finally replied. “Everything’s on the bed.” She could still hear the sirens in her mind, coming closer as she ripped through the pockets of her two colleagues’ dead bodies, recovering any information pertaining to them or FIA so they couldn’t be identified. Landen had hurried around the warehouse spraying gasoline when he shouted at her to get out and head south before returning to the flat. She felt the heat of the blaze as Landen lit the gasoline. She hadn’t looked back to see if he was okay; she had just walked as fast and as calmly as she could.
“Good, good,” he said on edge. He looked through the plastic bag on the bed and came over to Eve. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, it’s just the adrenalin,” she said, feeling on the point of collapse. “Was that why we were sent to tail Parit and Madden’s case?”
“I was briefed about it only hours before,” he said. He looked just as shaken as her.
“Did you know they had made a dirty deal?” she asked, reading his face like an open book. “Oh, well, that is perfect.”
“I was told to keep it from you. My ears only,” he explained. “But it wasn’t supposed to go like this. It was a simple tail and information-gathering job. Perit and Madden wouldn’t have been taken into custody before they were back in the office so the firm could contain the story.”
“So why did they seem to know we were there?” She got right up close to his face; she needed to see if he was lying. “We were silent in our tailing.”
“I know,” he said, averting his gaze away from her.
“Say it,” she demanded. “I know you are thinking it, so say it.”
“I’m not going to,” he replied. “Because that sets off a whole avalanche of shit that I don’t want to deal with. Besides, Perrit and Madden were good agents, experienced, they could have guessed something was coming.”
“Someone is leaking information about agents’ cases.” She was furious. “It could have cost us our lives. For all we know, we could have been the intended targets. Did that cross your mind?”
“I know and it did. But if that’s the case, busting into the office spouting allegations around will not be beneficial.” He stood still trying to get a grip on the situation in his mind. “I’m going to tell them we made a mistake.”
“No, you are not. You’re going to point the finger at me.” Eve was disappointed but not surprised. “I never figured you to be a coward but I could understand it in certain situations. However, I never figured you would throw the junior agent under the bus to save yourself. Not exactly leadership material.”
“It’s nothing personal,” he said. “It’s just a more likely scenario that you made the mistake.”
“Except,” she said, “I’m a better chameleon than you.”
She was right. Landen came from a well-to-do family with a safe and secure upbringing. He had actively pursued a career in this industry (probably out of some boyhood hero fantasy). He was good but he wasn’t a natural. Not like Eve.
“It’s how it has to be,” he said quietly. “That’s the pecking order.”
“Whatever makes you feel good.” Eve turned her back to him in anger. Someone had clearly given them away but Landen wasn’t going to pursue whoever it was. She sat on the bed and started to take off her bloody clothes.
“We need to dissolve our clothes,” she said. There was no point in dwelling on the future consequences she was bound for. Eve walked into the bathroom. She stood there for a while staring at the image in the mirror, not knowing where to start. The water from the shower was pouring out behind the shower curtain. It wasn’t until she tried to pull her blouse over her head that she felt the pain.
“Landen?” she called out calmly. “I need your help.”
“What is it?” He opened the door.
“I think I may have been shot,” Eve said. “I need your help to get my blouse off. It’s pretty sore.”
“Let me see.” He lifted up her blouse to see the wound. “You’ve got a bullet-graze wound, it’s right over your ribs, which is why you’re sore when you lift your arm. I’m surprised you didn’t feel the pain until now.”
“It’s the adrenalin,” Eve said drily.
“Get in the shower and get clean,” he said and got up from his knees. “I’ll go get something to stitch the wound.”
“Should we be leaving the flat?” Eve asked.
“No, probably not, but now I have to.” He smiled at her but stopped quickly realising she was still angry with him. “I’ll be fast.”
His eyes were telling Eve exactly what he wanted when he looked at her, but Eve wasn’t giving anything away. He couldn’t read her but to Eve, Landen was an open book. He walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Eve could hear that he stood still for a long moment on the other side of the door. She could hear his deep intake of breath before he left the little flat. She wasn’t offended. Her job was to allure and entice men and women to give up their darkest secrets. She stepped into the shower, letting the hot water soak her body. The water washing over her body splashed down over the white tiles giving them a pink hue of diluted blood.
When Landen came back she was sitting in her towel on the bed, semi-naked underneath. Any other woman would look vulnerable, but not Eve. She commanded the room even in a towel. Landen was the vulnerable one here, not knowing where to look. They definitely had chemistry.
“Right.” He started to get the first aid kit ready for use, sterilising the ordinary household sewing needle with vodka and unpacking the small kit they had from FIA.
“Where do you want me?” Eve turned towards him.
“Lie on your side facing the window, head towards the headboard with your arm here.” He moved her arm for her and the towel slipped off. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry.” Eve smiled. “I’m wearing knickers, but I figured a bra would get in the way.”
“It probably would,” he said, pulling himself together. He cleaned her wound. “When we get back, you need to get it checked, just to make sure there isn’t any damage to your ribs.”
“Have you ever stitched an actual person before?” she asked.
“I haven’t stitched anything since my training.” He smiled calmly. “So, any preference to stitch type?”
It took longer than if it had been a doctor doing the stitching, but that wasn’t a luxury they could afford. Landen having to go out was a chance they couldn’t take.
“Well, you took that like a woman,” he said. “I mean that as the greatest possible compliment because most men would bitch about that. I know I would.”
“I can’t say it didn’t hurt,” she replied. “You took forever.”
“Sorry. It was my first time stitching someone up,” he said. “But I am quite proud of the result. It seems even. Let me just put on a bandage. Done.”
In a moment of absentmindedness, he caressed her waist. He had forgotten himself for a split second, forgotten the situation they were in. Forgotten he was going to blame her for something she hadn’t done. She turned around to look at him, her arm gently covering her breasts. He looked for her approval and she gave it. Anger, hurt and pain drifted away when his lips pr
essed against hers. He held his well-shaped body over hers; he didn’t want to hurt her. The clothes all but vanished in a flash as she pushed him over. Sitting across him, she was in charge now. She held him down with one hand as he tried to pull her in. He wanted all of her. But Eve wasn’t about to give him that. She was going to make him regret his decision to throw her under the buss, just to further his own career. Eve shouldn’t have been so surprised at his betrayal though, he was after all just the latest in a long line of men in her life to do so.
***
It was 7:32 pm on the second when Eve called Cain as arranged. The sun was getting ready to set as she stood in the middle of a field with nothing but farm landscape around her. She was somewhere halfway in between Hellström and Patrick. She had walked several kilometres to get away from civilisation, as she couldn’t risk being overheard by others or for the firm to put the pieces together. But, also, she just felt like walking. In fact, it was her favourite mode of transportation.
“Cain.” He was ever-faithful to his monotone harsh way of answering his phone.
“So, what was it you couldn’t tell me over the phone earlier?” Eve asked.
“That whatever you are up to, you should stop immediately. Whatever Harlow’s death has triggered in your head, forget it. The firm doesn’t like troublemakers and right now, you are making a stir. But you still have a chance to get your footing straight.”
“Do I?” she wondered. “Is that why you wanted to talk on a secure line? To advise me to come in? You could have done that while they listened in.”
“No, I couldn’t,” he said. “I told them I knew exactly what you were up to and that it was with my approval that you had gone deep undercover.”
“So, you were covering your own,” she said, quickly regretting her choice of words. “Harlow’s death wasn’t an accident. She was killed.”
The instant she said it out loud, she regretted it. It was an emotional fuck up, not a tactical advantage to say that.
“What?” Cain said.
“I think the firm was behind it,” she continued. There was no point in trying to cover up her mistake. “They hired a freelancer, a Russian called Roman Belov. I think he killed her and I know he’s the one who’s been following me for some time now.”
“We need to meet,” he said. “I can’t help you from here. And if what you say is true, then you’re going to need me.”
He was right. She couldn’t bring FIA down by herself and getting Cain to Copenhagen might be a start.
“I’ll call you back with a time and place,” she said and then hung up. She left the phone in the field. She didn’t care if they found it, the end game had started and whether she liked it or not, she had to face FIA. It was later that same day that she would face a whole other type of facedown.
Eve walked through the front door of Patrick’s house. She should have expected what would happen.
“What the fuck!” he yelled, throwing his paper to the floor. “Where have you been?”
“I had to take care of something,” she said, as calmly as she could. “I never promised I would stay.”
“That’s your excuse?” He stormed up to her, his face right in front of her’s. “What was so damn important that you had to risk your life?”
“I can’t tell you.” She was humbled by his rage, probably because she understood it. “I’m sorry, but there are things I still have to do and I can’t promise you that I can stay here. I have to finish what I have started. Things are in motion and there is no way of stopping them.”
“No?” he asked. “Can you promise to stay safe?”
“No,” she said, feeling apprehensive. “I’m fighting a battle in the dark. I don’t know where my enemy is yet.”
“This doesn’t even feel real,” he shouted as he walked away. “It’s all lies, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t,” she replied. “During my training, I was taught many things, one was to always base a lie on the truth. I didn’t need a lot of training, I have spent most of my life avoiding the truth. When I was a child I did it because I didn’t want people to worry about me. I wasn’t the important one. At work, I do it to keep myself safe. And privately, like now, I do it to not hurt others. I know it’s a lot to take in and I am not asking for understanding. I’m not even asking for forgiveness. I only need a little time to make things right.”
“Not important?” He looked sad. “What happened to make you think you’re not important?”
“It’s a long story,” she said, feeling the sadness filling the room. “I don’t lie to hurt you, I do it to protect you.”
“You’re right, I don’t understand,” Patrick said. “I don’t even know how to take it in.”
They stood there at opposite ends of the room – he with his head bowed, feeling the silence fill the space in between them. It was overwhelming. They didn’t speak another word for the rest of the evening. Enough words had already been spoken. They moved around each other trying not to intervene in the other’s sphere. She had already involved him too much in her mess and yet being around him only made her want an end to everything even more. Eve wanted to stay with him, she wanted this life and not the one she had been running from since she was a child. And, certainly not the one she had with FIA. She wanted to come home, she wanted to feel wanted without having to act or be someone else. Eve wanted to be her again, whoever that might be. She lay in bed that night full of fear about not living. So, she got up and went to him.
His door was open. He was already sitting on the side of his bed facing her when she came to the doorway. He didn’t seem surprised. She walked over to him, standing right in front of him. His hands pulled her in by her hips and he rested his head on her stomach. It felt like they were starting from where they had left off, in each other’s arms, but this time there were no secrets. He knew what she was and he certainly still knew her body. The night vanished into dawn and when she opened her eyes she was happy seeing his staring back.
“Don’t leave.” His eyes pleaded. “Not now. Not again.”
“I have to finish this, otherwise they will hunt me forever.” And then she made a promise she should never have made. “I will come back to you, though. And stay forever.”
Eve spent the next few days in denial, pretending this was her life. Being normal. In reality she was doing what she had done many times before, she had put on a character. The difference was, this was what she wanted from life once she had finished with FIA. So, when the day came when she woke up from her dream of normality, a sudden anxiety fell over her. She still had unfinished business to deal with and it wasn’t just an unpaid bill that everyone has in their inbox of their email – this was a little more nerve-racking. So, she did what she had postponed for days and called Harris back in London. She needed a new cover. She knew she couldn’t stay under Patrick’s surname forever; they would eventually find her. Eve packed all her things and got on a random train to some place she didn’t know and that she had no connection to. All she knew was that it had taken about an hour and a half to get there, seemingly a waste of time but very much needed when you are trying to go undetected.
“Who is it?” said a desperate voice at the other end.
“Harris?” she asked. “Is that you?”
“No, this isn’t Harris.” The voice was male and similar to Harris’. “Who is this?”
“Where is Harris?” Eve asked, feeling a little uneasy. “And who are you, may I ask?”
“Harris is dead,” came the voice. “Or missing. I don’t quite know.”
“Who are you?” She was worried she was falling into a trap set by FIA. “And what are you doing with his phone?”
“I’m his brother. Ian,” said the voice. “Now return the favour and tell me your name.”
“He never mentioned a brother,” she said, avoiding the question. “Why would you think he is missing or dead?”
“I came to see him four days ago and everything had been ransacked,” he sai
d. Eve was starting to believe the voice at the other end. “And his mobile and wallet were still here, which makes me think he didn’t leave on his own accord.”
“If he gets in touch with you or comes home, give him this message,” she said. “That Mrs Toft needs help with the fine prints.”
“What does that mean?” The voice was elevated and panicked. “Who are you? What’s going on here?”
“I’m sure Harris will explain when he returns,” she said before hanging up. Eve wasn’t sure what to believe, but knowing what Harris was capable of creating, leaving behind his mobile and wallet could be a tactical move. Not something done in the heat of the moment and certainly not something done by FIA. This certainly made things more difficult, she had made false documents before but not since her training and she didn’t have the equipment needed to make them.
When she walked back from the station and her curious phone call, Patrick’s car was still in the driveway, which was odd as he should’ve been at work by then. He should’ve been at work for several hours by now. But the past few days had left her guard down and she thought he had maybe stayed home for her, a plausible and lovely thought. Eve smiled to herself, feeling the warmth of happiness surge through her body. Feelings she didn’t often feel. She opened the front door and in an instant, she knew something wasn’t right. Eve stood for a moment in the hallway catching her breath. Should she stay or should she flee?
“Patrick?” she called out. “Patrick!” Taking a hesitant step forward she saw him. Everything stood still as she stood across from the man she wanted to be with forever. He was tied to a chair. Dead. Beaten and bloody with a puncture wound to his neck. His head was bent backwards, eyes open as if looking at the ceiling, his hands pulled back behind the chair with blood dripping from them, forming pools on the floor. Everything started to shake uncontrollably as she stumbled forward towards him with tears streaming down her face. All she wanted to do was to scream out in pain. But she couldn’t. She was alone in this nightmare. As hopelessness flooded over her, her body gave up and she fell to her knees, hitting the floor hard. Numb and without reason or control, Eve just lay there. Despite the despair clawing away at her heart, she was aware enough to not disturb the scene. She cried uncontrollably for a few moments; that’s how long she gave herself to mourn him. Eve was exposed to her enemies, vulnerable and weak. She knew she couldn’t stay with him. She was forced away from him again and consequentially forced to do something else. Eve had to wipe herself away, she had to delete her story from his, however painful it would be.