Always discreet, Mr and Mrs Garnett took Sylvia out to their kitchen garden and attended to some suddenly urgent weeding, leaving Jess and Lady Worlington alone in the cottage.
‘It ain’t that I’ve got nothin’ against you personally, Leonore,’ said Jess stiffly. ‘Yer know that. But yer shouldn’t ’ave told ’im.’
‘I know how you feel, Jess.’
‘Yer should do. We’ve been through this time and time again over the last few months. Yer knew I ’adn’t changed me mind, an’ yer still told ’im.’
‘But won’t you at least see him now he’s home, Jess? He so wants to make amends. To be able to help you in some way. To make life easier for you and Sylvia.’
‘The men in yer family ain’t been exactly honest with me, now ’ave they?’ said Jess coldly. “Ow do I know ’e don’t wanna steal Sylvia off of me, an’ stick me back in the bin again?’
‘He wants you to forgive him, Jess. Not to harm you. Truly. He wants to make amends. He said that. I’m not making up any of this. He doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants to help you.’
‘No. I don’t wanna ’ear any more, an’ I don’t wanna see ’im. I won’t see ’im, Leonore. I mean it.’
‘Listen to me,’ said Leonore urgently. ‘You don’t have to agree to anything to do with Sylvia. Not yet. As much as Robert wants to see his daughter, I understand your worries. But at least let him see you, Jess. Let him talk to you, and show you that he is sincere. I’ll bring him here to the cottage in the morning. I’ll stay with you for the whole time. I’ll speak to Mrs Garnett. She’ll look after Sylvia, take her out for a walk or something. We’ll be here alone and Sylvia will be safe. No one else will know. Please, Jess, then you can see for yourself. He’ll only stay for as long as you want him to. Please hear what he has to say. Give him a chance, Jess, please. For me. See for yourself how he’s changed.’
‘Yer make it all seem so easy, the way yer talkin’.’
‘Would it be so very hard, Jess? To let him have his say?’
‘I’d better get the lamps lit,’ said Jess. ‘It’ll be dark soon.’
As she watched Leonore walk back through the orchard path to the Hall, Jess resigned herself to what would happen. She knew she had no choice.
Chapter 18
Home with the Milk
Rose pulled her shawl down from the banister and draped it round her shoulders to cover her nightdress.
‘All right, all right. ’Old on,’ she snapped.
As she opened the street door, Rose’s hand flew up to her mouth. ‘Jess. Whatever’s ’appened? What yer doin’ ’ere?’
‘I’ll tell yer in a minute,’ said Jess wearily. ‘Ain’t yer gonna let us in, Mum?’
‘Aw, course. Course. Come in, quick, before Florrie sees yer.’
‘Even she won’t be nosin’ this time of the mornin’, will she?’ said Jess, stepping inside.
‘Don’t yer be so sure. I think she stays up all night, that one, in case she misses somethin’.’
Rose poked her head outside and looked anxiously along the road towards the Baxters’. No sign of life. With a bit of luck they were all still asleep and wouldn’t have seen anything. Rose shut the door tight.
‘Sorry to get yer up so early, Mum.’
‘It’s all right, darlin’. I wasn’t asleep.’
Jess followed her mother along the familiar passageway and into the kitchen of Number 8 Burton Street. She dropped exhausted on to one of the hard wooden chairs.
‘Take Sylvia off us, will yer, Mum? She weighs a ton.’
‘Don’t wake ’er up. ‘Old on a minute. I’ll fetch a blanket from upstairs.’
While her mother was out of the room, Jess noticed the half-full cup of tea on the table. Rose had meant it; she hadn’t been asleep.
‘Right, let’s sort this out.’ Rose came into the kitchen with the blanket and a pillow from her bedroom. She bent down and made a makeshift bed on the kitchen floor by the range.
‘There yer are, sweet’eart,’ she said as she took her sleeping granddaughter from Jess. Sylvia moaned softly in her sleep. ‘She’s out like a light.’
‘Poor little thing. We’ve been travellin’ ‘alf the night.’
Rose gently settled her granddaughter. ‘She’s such a little beauty,’ she said.
‘Takes after ’er gran’mother,’ said Jess.
Rose looked down at the sleeping child. ‘I’ll pour yer a cup of tea an’ yer can tell me all about it,’ she said as she stood up, then turned and looked at her daughter. ‘If yer want to, that is.’
‘Course I want to, Mum,’ said Jess. She waited a moment then said, ‘Why couldn’t yer sleep?’
Rose fussed around with the kettle and teacups. ‘Eh?’
‘Well, yer don’t usually get up to ’ave a cuppa tea at ’alf past four in the mornin’, do yer?’
‘I was thirsty,’ said Rose flatly.
Jess was too preoccupied with her own troubles to make anything more of it.
‘I ain’t got no sugar, Jess,’ Rose said, tucking her long, thick hair behind her ears. ‘Ain’t been able to get none lately, but I’ve got condensed milk.’
‘That’s lovely, Mum.’
‘There yer are.’ Rose gave Jess her cup and sat down.
‘This old table’s ’eard a few tales over the years,’ said Jess, stirring the thick, sweet milk into the tea.
‘Yeh. If only it could talk, eh?’ said Rose sadly. ‘Think of all the memories it’d ’ave.’
They sat sipping their tea.
‘All right if I stay for a few days, Mum?’ said Jess quietly.
‘Yer don’t ’ave to ask, darlin’. This is yer ’ome.’
‘Ta.’
‘I’m so glad to see yer, Jessie,’ said Rose, reaching her hand out across the table.
‘Me an’ all, Mum.’ Jess stared into her cup.
“Ow d’yer get ’ere? No one saw yer, did they?’
‘No. It was pitch-dark when I left. The guard let me get on the milk train at Tiln’urst. ’E wasn’t goin’ to but Sylvia started cryin’ an’ carryin’ on. So ’e give in. Didn’t even ’ave to pay nothin’.’ Jess gave a weak little laugh. ‘Good job an’ all; I never ’ad no money on me. I left the cottage a bit quick, see.’
‘Yer didn’t ’ave a row with Susan or nothin’, did yer?’
‘No.’ Jess shook her head.
‘I’m glad. She’s a good ’un.’
‘I made sure I left Mrs Garnett a note to say thanks for everythin’, but I ’ad to go away, like. She’ll miss Sylvie. She treated us both like we was ’er own.’
Rose suddenly burst into tears.
‘Blimey, Mum.’ Jess took her mother’s hand. ‘I’m so full of me own troubles. What’s up? What’s the matter?’
‘Yer’ll ’ave to know some time,’ sniffed Rose. ‘It might as well be now. I was goin’ to write to yer later anyway.’
Rose stood up and went over to the mantelpiece. She took an envelope from behind the clock, handed it to Jess and sat down again.
Before Jess could open it, Rose said softly, ‘It’s our Sammy.’ The tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks.
‘Oh, Mum, no.’ Jess dropped the envelope on to the table as though it had burnt her fingers.
‘“Missin’ in action” it says. An’ ’ow sorry they are. Not ’alf as sorry as me they ain’t. What do they know?’ she sobbed. ‘They ain’t ’is mother.’
‘Mum, don’t cry.’ Jess closed her arms round Rose. She felt ashamed that she hadn’t noticed before just how worn out her mother looked.
‘Yesterday, it come. So that’s me Sammy gone, as easy as that.’ Rose’s lip trembled. ‘An’ there’s still no word about yer dad. Aw, Jess.’ Her whole body shuddered. ‘I can’t stand it. I can’t stand any of it no more.’
‘We don’t know for sure what’s ’appened, Mum, do we? They might ’ave got captured or somethin’. That ’appens all the time.’
‘I suppose so, but I’ve got
this terrible feelin’, Jess.’
‘P’raps they’ve written to Ted or Charlie,’ said Jess. ‘Yer’ll see, we’ll ’ave a letter from one of ’em in a day or so, givin’ us all the news. An’ yer’ll wonder what on earth yer was worryin’ about.’
Sylvia whimpered and rolled over. Jess let go of her mother and knelt down next to her child, patting her back until she settled.
Rose rubbed the tears roughly from her face and looked down at her sleeping grandchild.
‘I’m so glad yer ’ere with me, Jess. I can’t tell yer ’ow glad, but yer mustn’t get yerself in trouble comin’ ‘ere. I couldn’t stand it if anythin’ ’appened to you an’ all.’
‘Me problems don’t seem very important now,’ said Jess.
‘Somethin’ else’s ’appened, ain’t it?’ said Rose, gripping the edge of the table. ‘I’m right, ain’t I? That’s why yer’ve come ’ome.’
‘Don’t get worked up, Mum.’ Jess sat back in her chair. ‘Things ’ave changed down at Worlington, that’s all.’
“Ow d’yer mean?’
‘Leonore’s old man’s ’it the sherbert right bad. ’E don’t know one day from the next. So ’e’s no threat to me an’ Sylvia any more. Well, so Leonore reckons.’
‘Jess,’ said Rose, squeezing her daughter’s arm. ‘That’s ’ardly a problem, is it, love? Not for us any’ow. It’s the best news I’ve ’eard since I dunno know when. But poor old Leonore, eh?’
‘There’s somethin’ else, Mum.’ Jess hugged herself. She felt suddenly chilled. ‘Leonore’s son.’
‘Robert?’
Jess nodded. ‘’E’s come ’ome from the army.’
‘But what does that matter? Yer said ’e didn’t know nothin’.’
‘’E didn’t. Not until yesterday, that is. Leonore says ’e’s come back a different bloke. The war’s changed ’im, or somethin’. So she’s gone an’ told ’im all about us, me and Sylvie.’
‘’Ave yer seen ‘im?’
‘No, I ain’t,’ said Jess emphatically. ‘Didn’t get within a ’undred yards of ’im. It’s all right for Leonore sayin’ ’e’s right sorry for what ’appened an’ ’ow ’e wants to make it up to us. But… Aw, I dunno.’
Rose frowned. ‘Yer don’t trust ’im?’
‘Too bloody right I don’t.’
‘Can’t say as anyone’d blame yer.’
‘Leonore thinks I just don’t understand. She said once I saw ’im, an’ ’ow different ’e was now, then I’d ’ave to give ’im a chance. An’ it’d all be ’unky-dory.’
‘But yer didn’t wanna risk findin’ out?’
‘Right.’
‘So yer did a runner.’
‘Yeh. An’ ’ere I am.’ Jess yawned and blinked her aching eyes. ‘Hidin’ still. Well, not really ’idin’. It’ll be obvious where I am. But I’m no ’arm to any of ’em ’ere, am I? Per’aps they’ll just forget about me.’
‘Look, Jess, there’s no use yer worryin’ yerself about it this time of the mornin’, is there? Why don’t yer get yer ’ead down for a few hours? You and little Sylvie come in me bed with me. Like yer used to.’
* * *
‘Mummy. Mummy,’ Sylvia wailed.
For a moment after she opened her eyes Jess couldn’t think where she was.
‘Mummy,’ Sylvia persisted, ‘I want wee-wees. Now.’
‘All right, darlin’,’ Jess said, focusing on the familiar brass bedstead. ‘Mummy’ll take yer.’
Jess threw back the patched cotton sheet and stepped on to the bare floorboards of her parents’ bedroom.
‘Where are we, Mummy?’ asked Sylvia in a timid little voice as they went carefully down the narrow wooden stairs.
‘Nanna Fairleigh’s.’
‘I want to go home, Mummy.’
‘Sssh. Yer’ll wake Nanna.’
‘I want Mrs Garnett.’
‘Sssh, Sylvia, stop grizzlin’. Yer’ll upset Nanna, I said. Now be a good girl. Come on, out ’ere.’
Jess unbolted the kitchen door and guided her daughter into the lavatory in the back yard.
‘I don’t like it here.’
Jess pulled Sylvia’s knickers down and sat her on the wooden lavatory seat.
‘Yer’ll get used to it, baby.’
‘I ’eard Sylvia cryin’. She all right?’
Jess turned round. Rose was standing behind her. ‘She’s mixed up, Mum. Dunno what’s goin’ on, she don’t.’
‘Like a lot of us since this stinkin’ war,’ said Rose bitterly. ‘Look at ’er, poor little mite. It’s a bit late for breakfast but I can do some toast and drippin’. Want some, Sylvia?’
Sylvia’s hunger overcame her shyness. She nodded.
‘It’ll be on the table when yer ready, sweet’eart, an’ Nanna’s got a surprise for yer,’ she said, walking back indoors.
‘See? It’s good ’ere,’ said Jess, coaxing her with what she hoped was a convincing smile.
But Sylvia did not look convinced.
She was totally convinced, however, when her grandmother took her hand and led her to a chenille-covered shape in the corner of the kitchen. Sylvia clapped her hands with pleasure when she saw the tiny monkey blink its eyes as it became accustomed to the light.
‘Mum, you’ve still got ’er. Look, Sylvia, it’s Ginny. Look at ’er tiny little ’ands an’ fingers.’
‘Your Ginny’s kept me company on many a long night, an’ that’s the truth. Knows all me secrets she does.’
‘I don’t suppose the canary’s still about,’ said Jess, pushing her finger through the bars. She stroked the little creature’s head, as it held it first on one side then the other, enjoying the attention.
‘No,’ said Rose wistfully. ‘Come down one mornin’ an’ the poor little thing was dead on the bottom of the cage. Died of fright I reckon. Yer should ’ave seen it that night. The aeroplanes dropped that many bombs. Never seen anythin’ like it. It was like daylight with the flames an’ everythin’. An’ the noise.’
“Ow close was it?’
‘It was close. The ’Arry in Brunswick Road copped it.’
‘Aw, Mum.’ Jess stood up and went to her mother’s side.
Rose’s eyes were fixed on the floor. ‘It made it dirtier and foggier than ever for days on end, it did. But the night it ’appened…’ She frowned, remembering. ‘Yer should ’ave seen it, Jess. The ’ole sky looked like it was alight. The ’orses round the back of the dairy went ravin’ mad. Kicked their way out of their stalls they did. Went gallopin’ up the street. They was terrified. So yer can imagine what that poor little bird thought about it. Tell yer the truth, Jess, I was terrified an’ all.’
‘All by yerself. I should ’ave been ’ere with yer, Mum.’
‘Leave off, Jess, yer ’ad me granddaughter to think about.’
‘I like her, Nanna,’ said Sylvia, and dragged her grandmother over to the monkey’s cage.
‘Shall we go for a walk now Sylvia’s ’ad ’er bit of breakfast?’ said Rose, untying her apron and hanging it on the hook behind the kitchen door. ‘It’s such a lovely day.’
‘Good idea, Mum. An’ we might as well get it over with. Let Florrie ’ave a good ol’ nose, eh?’
Rose managed to laugh. ‘We’ll give ’er somethin’ to talk about.’
* * *
The three generations of Fairleighs made a handsome sight walking along Burton Street towards the open space near the Mission hut. Sylvia walked along between her mother and grandmother, holding their hands. She had cheered up considerably and was becoming more and more fascinated by this new world so full of houses and people. Rose and Jess had so much to talk about, and it helped them both forget their fears about Bill and Ted for a while. Their faces were lively and animated with the simple pleasure of being together again.
‘No, me cough ain’t been too bad at all lately,’ Rose said with a shrug. ‘It’s this new easy life I’ve got, see. Since I’ve been at the factory I don’t ’ave to get up nearly so earl
y. An’ I don’t ’ave to kneel on them cold steps with me ’ands in a freezin’ cold bucket of water neither.’
‘I remember when we was little an’ yer did them cleanin’ jobs, Mum. Yer was always out before we was even awake. It must ’ave been ’orrible on winter mornin’s. Us kids never realised ’ow ’ard it was for yer.’
Rose sighed. ‘I used to go to bed in me frock, yer know. It was too cold to get up and ’ave to get dressed. The water was frozen solid in the pipe anyway, so I couldn’t ’ave ’ad a wash-down even if I’d wanted.’ She laughed. ‘The good ol’ days, eh?’
‘I’m glad yer kept doin’ for ol’ Miss Feldman though, Mum. Sounds like she’s ’ad a right rough time,’
‘They’ve said terrible things about that ol’ lady, Jess. Yer’d think she started the bleed’n’ war single-’anded to ’ear some of ’em round ’ere. I’ll never ’ave nothin’ bad said about ’er when I’m there though. She’s been a friend to me. An’ so ‘as ’er brother. A lot of ’em round ’ere should remember ’ow ’e’s ’elped ’em out in the past.’
‘Well, at least yer ’appier now yer in the factory, Mum.’
‘Yer ain’t kiddin’. I ain’t ’ad to borrow nothin’ off Uncle since I’ve worked there. Enough money to live on, pay me bills an’ still ’ave a bit left over. Mind yer, we was a bit worried when the army uniform work dropped off, but we’re doin’ the nurses’ clothes now.’
‘’Ere we are, Sylvia,’ said Jess, pointing across the road to the little hut. ‘This is where I used to go an’ dance with me friends. An’ before that, Nanna used to bring me ’ere when I was a little gel to play on the grass.’
‘A little girl like me, Mummy?’
‘Yeh, darlin’, just like you.’
They walked through the gate in the railings, still hand-in-hand, and found a spot under the single cherry tree where they could sit in the shade.
‘Make Nanna a daisy chain like Mrs Garnett showed yer.’
Sylvia soon became totally absorbed in finding and threading daisy stems.
‘It looks smaller, some’ow,’ Jess said as she looked at the Mission hut. ‘I used to love them dances.’ She stretched her legs out, warming herself in the sun. ‘Don’t suppose no one’s ’eard nothin’ from Jack Barnes,’ she added casually.
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