by Karen Klyne
Phil thrust inside her, and Kim’s orgasm made her arch, the moonlight catching her in a pose Phil would remember forever. She trembled, and Phil held her tightly as she slowly quieted.
Kim eventually opened her eyes, and Phil kissed her lightly and stroked her hair. Kim said nothing and simply stared into Phil’s eyes.
Phil tilted her head to one side. “Are you okay, darling?” Darling?
Kim nodded. Her eyes were glazed over as if she was going to cry.
“I’m fine. I just feel a little dazed.”
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Kim gave a small laugh. “No. It was perfect.”
Phil stared at the ceiling. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I was doing my bloody utmost to resist you.”
“I know. I’ve never come on to anyone before, but it seemed right. Jesus, did I just seduce you?”
Phil smirked. “Seduce? I like that word, you brazen hussy. It was what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure about you.” Because I could end up hurting you.
“Believe me, I wanted it.”
“Yes, I did kind of notice.” Phil placed a tender kiss on Kim’s lips. “I’m sorry to say, my intentions have never been honourable, but I wasn’t about to jeopardise our friendship.”
“I hope we can still have a friendship?”
“Definitely. Come here and let me ravish you.”
Kim giggled and rolled closer towards her. “I’m being awfully selfish. I’d like to make love to you too, but you’ll have to teach me.”
“I’ll enjoy that, particularly the teacher part. However, I haven’t finished with you yet. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of time for everything.” Phil made love to her again with tenderness, consideration, and awareness. She wanted to make this the most memorable and pleasurable experience that Kim had ever encountered. It was her first time with a woman, and she’d placed a lot of trust in Phil, though God knew why, particularly after she’d told her about her past. But Phil needed to show Kim that she cared, and she did.
When she was sated, Phil stroked Kim’s head, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Later, she was aware that Kim was trying to wriggle away, but she had a firm hold on her. Kim twisted towards the clock and tried to pull free.
“Hell’s teeth. Do you know what time it is?”
Phil yawned. “Half past sex.”
Kim smacked her on the arm.
“Would you like tea, madam, or would you prefer something hotter?”
Kim stretched her body. “I’ll settle with tea for now, but it’ll have to be quick.”
Phil sauntered down the stairs in a dream. She filled the kettle with water and listened contemplatively as it came to boiling point. She’d felt that way too, and Kim had certainly reached a high temperature. She grinned. What am I grinning about? Alan will kill me. He was no saint. Nevertheless, he’d blame Phil for seducing Kim. It was something she’d have to deal with. But not now.
Phil draped her arm around Kim’s shoulder whilst they drank their tea. She laughed when Kim’s tummy rumbled. “I suppose you’re hungry for breakfast now?”
Kim sighed. “I’d love to, but not today. I’m seriously late. Remember, I said I’d help out with the party at the pub.”
Phil pouted. “No breakfast?”
Kim leaned in and kissed her. “Many, I hope. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
Make it up to her? Who the hell knew what was going to happen from here? It was Phil who should be making it up to Kim. “You don’t need to. You’ve made me one very happy woman.”
They kissed, and Kim made her apologies about having to dash off. She disappeared for a quick shower. It was a shame because Phil would have liked to join her, but she’d have to wait for that one. When Kim arrived downstairs, she collected her jacket and bag, and they stood gazing at each other by the door. Kim had to leave, and a feeling of melancholy stole over Phil, along with the pangs of guilt. Should she come clean and confess her lie about the taxi last night or should she hide it? No. She had to tell the truth.
Kim leaned on the door. Phil kissed her gently and stared into Kim’s eyes. “There’s something I have to tell you about last night. I deceived you about––”
“You mean you have regrets?”
“Shit, no! It was wonderful.”
Kim placed her finger on Phil’s lips. “In that case, it’s not necessary.”
She wasn’t sure if that were true. But it probably didn’t matter, because Phil knew that sometime in the future, this would have happened anyway.
They kissed, and Phil drove her back home and parked outside the pub. She took Kim’s hand. “I’ll call you later.”
As she drove away, Phil’s thoughts were a maelstrom of emotion. Had their friendship been compromised? She hadn’t wanted Kim to leave this morning. What did that mean? Was this something special, something more? Or was it temporary, a diversion that would end the way it always did? She had no idea why, but she had a bad feeling.
Chapter Eleven
There was a group of twenty seniors at the Pheasant. Kim couldn’t think of anything worse. They partied like fifteen-year-old kids and drank like fish. Why not? She hoped she’d be like that when she reached their age. She couldn’t stop a grin constantly forming on her face. It had happened. Phil had made love to her, and what a sensational feeling it had been. It seemed so natural, and the timing had been perfect in every way. She hadn’t rushed into this. She knew all she needed to know about Phil, and she was pleased the decision had been left with her.
Jan and Dave gave her suspicious looks all day, but there was no way she was going to share her wonderful secret. She’d savour her first taste for as long as she could.
By the afternoon she was shattered, and when the rush was over, she excused herself. She collapsed onto her bed and closed her eyes. She resisted the urge to look at her phone for fear of not having a message. She smiled and recalled the events of the previous night. She’d never had so much pleasure in her life. It wasn’t just the sex. It was the whole thing about being with Phil. It felt so right. She hoped Phil was thinking the same. She drifted off, every detail playing like a dream.
The room was in darkness when she opened her eyes. How long had she been asleep? She focused on the time and went into a panic. It was after nine in the evening. She found her bag and rummaged around for her phone. It wasn’t there. She emptied the contents out onto the bed and did a thorough search. There was no sign. Where the hell was it? Phil was going to call her. What would she think if she didn’t answer? Would she give up? Would she leave a message? More to the point, where was her bloody mobile? After searching the room, she ran downstairs to the bar where Dave was serving the last customer.
“Hi, Kim. Are you okay? You look worried.”
“Don’t suppose you’ve seen my phone?”
He picked up a glass and started polishing it without looking at her. “Your phone?”
“Yeah, my mobile. I can’t find it.”
“You didn’t leave it at Phil’s, did you?”
She ignored the slightly judgemental tone in his voice. “No, definitely not.” She knew it was in her bag. She’d checked, and it was there when she came down to help with lunch.
“Is it in your car?”
Kim frowned. “I haven’t been in my car.”
“Maybe it slipped out of your bag. Where did you leave it?”
“Good thinking. I left it on the seat over there.” Kim pointed to a table in the corner. She checked the floor in case the phone had fallen out, and then she slid her hand down the back of the bench seat and ran her hand all the way along. She did the same on the opposite side. Nothing.
“Any luck?”
Kim’s shoulders slumped. “No. I’ll go and check my room again.” She knew she’d looked everywhere, but the phone had vanished. Had somebody stolen it? Sure, like one of the seniors. It didn’t seem likely.
Dave shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “I’
ll have another look before I lock up. If I find it, I’ll bring it up.”
It was good of him, but she didn’t hold out any hope. Then she had an idea. She could ask Dave if she could use his phone. She couldn’t remember Phil’s number by heart, but with a bit of luck Dave or Jan might have it.
She dashed downstairs. Dave was sitting at a table with a large brandy glass in front of him. He finished his drink and refilled his glass from the bottle on the table. “Do you want to join me? You look like you need one.”
“No, thanks. Where’s Jan?”
“She was whacked, so I told her to have an early night.”
Kim nodded. Shame, she’d have much preferred to talk to Jan. Still, Dave would have to do. “I don’t suppose you have Phil’s mobile number, do you?”
He sighed quietly. “Maybe. I think Alan gave it to Jan after he’d had that accident. You know, just in case.” Dave got up. “I’ll just go take a look.”
She followed him, and he went behind the bar and picked up a mobile. “I don’t have it. This is Jan’s, so I’ll check that.” He looked like he was scrolling through her contacts. “Ah, here it is.”
Kim moved closer, then smelled the alcohol on his breath, and took a step back. Dave pressed a key and waited.
“It’s on answerphone. Do you want to leave a message?”
Of course she did, but she didn’t want to do it through Dave. She held her hand out, and he passed it to her, though she noticed his slight hesitation. She walked out of earshot and heard the beep telling her to leave a message. She was hoping to hear Phil’s voice but all she got was soulless electronic speech. “Hi, Phil. I’ve lost my phone and can’t find it anywhere. I’m just letting you know in case you’ve left any messages or anything. I’m sure it’ll turn up.” She paused. “Sweet dreams.” She ended the call and handed the phone back to Dave. “Thanks, Dave.”
“That’s okay, honey. Sleep well.” His smile was tight, and he went back to his bottle at the table.
Kim felt better for doing that. Hopefully she could sleep now. She lay on her bed, but her sleep was restless. She tossed and turned and dreamed about mobile phones hovering around her room like flying saucers.
When she heard the disturbance outside her bedroom door, she wiped the sleep from her eyes and sat up. There was a tap on the door. She put her dressing gown on and opened the door. Jan and Dave were standing together on the other side.
Jan handed her phone over. Kim clutched her chest. “Thank God. Where did you find it?”
Jan looked at Dave for the answer.
“I found it later. It must have fallen on the floor and someone kicked it underneath one of the benches.”
Jan looked like she was about to explode. “Why didn’t you give it back to her then?”
“Keep your hair on woman.” He looked at Kim. “I’m sorry, Kim. I knocked on your door, but you didn’t answer. I thought you were asleep.”
Kim shook her head. “Not to worry. You found it, and that’s the main thing.” She held it in both hands and caressed it. “Thanks so much.”
When they left, Kim switched it on. There was nothing. No texts, no messages, no missed calls. She searched again. Zilch. Phil hadn’t rung, or texted, or left a message. And by now Phil should have picked up the message Kim had left. Perhaps she’d had second thoughts. After all, it was Kim who’d made the first move, and Phil had seemed reluctant at first. Maybe when Phil had come to her senses and weighed it all up, it just wouldn’t be worth the grief. After all, Alan would never forgive her, and of course Phil would get the blame. God, she wished she hadn’t left that message now. She’d sounded so desperate.
She’d certainly had plenty of time to mull things over. She also considered Phil’s bad reputation. She was a womanizer and had affairs all over the place. She’d been honest about that and made no apologies for the kind of woman she was. Kim tried to put the thoughts to the back of her head. What should she do? I’m sure as hell not going to chase her anymore.
Over the next few days, Kim lost count of the hours she’d spent crying. She’d walked for miles. What had she done wrong? She’d fallen for the wrong woman. It was her own fault. When she looked back on it, Phil had been resistant. She’d tried her best to warn her off with tales about her total lack of desire for commitment, and she’d even said she’d been trying to avoid getting involved with Kim, but Kim had persisted. This was going to hurt. But for now, it was time to put that episode in a box and lock it away. I wish I could disappear. She could. There was nothing and nobody to stop her. Nursing a broken heart on her own was brainless. She could be with a friend. Someone she trusted. Someone to confide in. Spain was calling.
***
Relief hit her as soon as she heard the undercarriage go down.
She spotted Iz waiting, dropped her case, and ran into her arms. Tears streamed down her face.
Iz held her close and stroked her hair. “It hasn’t been that long, has it?”
Kim wiped her face with the back of her hand. “It feels like it.”
Within half an hour, the three of them were sitting on their patio sipping a gin and tonic. She gave a condensed version of her news but missed out the part about Phil. She’d made a fool of herself and was so embarrassed. She didn’t want to discuss it in front of Juan and decided to wait until she was alone with Iz.
Determined to get back some semblance of her former self, she went for lengthy walks along the beach. She tried to blot the thoughts of Phil from her mind. But all the same, she kept checking her phone. She lay down on the sunbed and when Iz walked towards her, she waved her over. She flopped down on the other sunbed and unpacked her picnic basket. She passed some food over to Kim.
“Have you ever thought about children, Kim?”
Kim nearly choked on her banana. “Yeah, I think about them a lot. Like how to avoid them when they’re coming out of school, how to keep agile enough to jump out of their way, how to dodge them when they try to run me over with their scooters, skateboards, or bikes. Yes, I think about them a lot. Oh, I forgot about the trying to find restaurants that don’t accept children.”
Iz laughed. “So you like them, then? Silly. I mean, do you want children?”
Kim tilted her head. “I’m sorry if this disappoints you, but no, I have no desire to have children. Why?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Kim leapt up and threw her arms around her friend. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.” Some happy news at last.
“I feel awful, Kim. You’re only here for a few days, and we’ve hardly had time to talk. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own little world.”
“I’ve had a great time, Iz. I’ve enjoyed some quiet and time to think before the onslaught of moving to a new house.”
Iz rubbed her belly. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
Kim turned away from Iz’s stare and gazed into the distance. She bit her lower lip and covered her face with her hands. Her body shook, and she couldn’t stop the tears that streamed down her face.
Iz took hold of her. “Kim. What’s happened?”
Between sobs, Kim said, “I met someone, but it didn’t work out.”
Iz stroked Kim’s hair and held her tightly until the sobs subsided. “Who? When?”
“It all began at the house auction. Phil was the auctioneer. We’ve spent a lot of time together.”
“That sounds promising. What’s the problem?”
Kim bowed her head and gave a small laugh. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated? You mean he’s married?”
“No.”
“He has half a dozen of those children you so adore?”
Iz was doing her best to make her smile again. “No children.”
“I’ve got it. He’s much older. That doesn’t surprise me, in fact you need a mature person by your side.”
“No, Phil’s––”
Iz slapped her forehead. “He’s been in prison.”
She sighed hea
vily. “Phil is short for Philippa.”
Iz looked skyward. “Is that all? Who the hell cares?”
Kim frowned. “I thought it would bother you. You know, with you being religious and stuff.”
Iz punched her arm. “You silly girl. Believe me, it doesn’t. Have you slept with her?”
Kim crossed her arms and rolled her shoulders. “Yes, just before I came here.”
“And?”
Kim slumped forward and dug into her bag for a tissue. She blew her nose and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “It was wonderful. I’ve never felt like that before. It seemed to give my life a meaning, as if I’d found the missing part of the jigsaw. It was exquisite. She said she’d call me. But there’s been nothing. I haven’t heard a word.”
“That’s hard to believe. If she’d had second thoughts, wouldn’t she just tell you it was all a mistake or something?”
“No. Not necessarily. That’s the essence of who she is. She’s a playgirl, terminal adulteress, streams of failed relationships, and utterly averse to commitment. Need I go on?”
Iz giggled. “She sounds exciting.” She grinned when Kim huffed. “Sorry. It doesn’t make sense, though. Even if she’s all those things, surely she’d have the guts to tell you? You were friends.”
“Well, she didn’t. And don’t tell me to call her, because I already did. I left a message on her voicemail.”
“You haven’t actually spoken to her?”
“No. She ignored the message, and like I already said, I’ve heard nothing. And I’m not going to keep calling like some desperate teenager.” Saying it out loud made her heart hurt again.
“I think there’s been some sort of mix up. It’ll work out…if it’s meant to be.”
That’s right. Leave it all to fate. She’d love to believe there’d been a mix up. She’d be over the moon and stars if Iz was right. But she knew it was false hope.
The morning of her departure was gloomy. Kim hugged Iz and Juan. “I’m going to miss you guys.”
Iz pulled free and sniffed. “Not the only thing you’ll miss if you don’t get a move on.”
Kim said her goodbyes and ran through departures. She was reluctant to leave and dreaded going back to Cauthwell, a place that was supposed to be full of excitement and a clean slate. But her new house was beautiful, and she could still take control of her life the way she wanted to. She just had to do it without Phil.