by Karen Klyne
Her mum covered her mouth with a hand. “Oh my God. That must have been terrible. What a shock.”
“It was brutal. And Phil just didn’t seem to understand, Mum. It was my home. Mine and Dad’s. Good memories but bad ones too. Dad died in that house. I’d let him go, and I’d only just managed to really move beyond the grief of it all, you know? And all she could think about was that she wanted it. My feelings never seemed to enter her mind.”
Her mum put an arm around Kim’s shoulder. “Surely she didn’t buy it at the auction?”
“That’s another contentious issue, but that wasn’t the main issue, and to be honest, I didn’t wait around to hear her explain that bit. She’d gone behind my back right from the start. She kept things from me and was economical with the truth. She betrayed my trust, as though I didn’t exist, like anything I thought or felt about it wasn’t important. And then she tried to turn it around and make it all about me questioning her ethics and saying she didn’t need permission to do what she wanted. She didn’t care enough and ended up treating me just like all her other flings.”
“How did it end?”
“I walked out, and that was that.”
“Has she been in touch?”
Kim gave a wry laugh. “She’d never do that. She thinks she’s in the right.”
Her mum sighed. “In matters of the heart, there’s rarely a right or wrong.”
Kim covered her face with her hands and began to weep. Her mum took her in her arms and stroked her back. She wiped away Kim’s tears with a tissue and kissed her on the forehead.
“Are you, or were you, in love with Phil?”
“I think I was. Am. Oh, I don’t know. I lost all control of my feelings and just ploughed ahead. I thought we had a future. But I wasn’t the one to change her. I wasn’t good enough or strong enough for her. She’s used to London women, older women with more experience, not some country girl only just figuring out who she is.”
Her mum took Kim’s face in her hands and looked into her eyes. “Now listen to me, young lady. You are every bit as good as Phil. Better. You’re kind, considerate, honest, and above all, loving.”
“But I can’t tackle someone with commitment issues.”
“I’m afraid that’s something Phil will have to come to terms with. I can’t imagine she’s feeling that wonderful herself.”
“She’ll just turn it around and get on with her life. As she’s always done.”
“Not necessarily. It sounds like you had something together, and maybe she’s feeling more than you know. The thing is, darling, what do you want? Do you want answers, and is she worth fighting for?”
Kim picked at a loose thread in the blanket and contemplated the question. “I think so. What would you do, Mum?”
“First of all, you’d better find out how she bought the Chase. Have a chat with Alan. As far as I recall, he’s as straight as a die, and I can’t imagine he’d ever go into partnership with someone who’s dishonest. If you find out that she did it ethically, then we’ll talk about you and Phil. Let’s take it one step at a time. If she really did it unethically and has been hiding it from you this whole time…well, that might be a different kettle of monkeys.”
Kim hugged her mum tightly. “Thanks, Mum. I wish I was as positive as you.”
“You can be. You will be. We’re a team.”
Kim pulled her shoulders back and held her chin high. A problem shared is a problem halved, and now that her mum was back in her life, she was becoming more positive by the minute.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The holidays finished, and Phil returned to work. There was a lot to be done before the auction, but her heart was no longer in it. Where had her heart gone? Possibly flown off on a gavel whilst she’d been sleeping. On top of that, every part of her body seemed to be numb, and she constantly felt physically sick. She ate to stay alive and drank to blot out the memories. She’d sent a tentative text, asking if Kim wanted to get a drink, but there’d been no reply. It wasn’t a surprise, but it hurt. She kept thinking of grand gestures, of apologies she could make, but they all felt like too much or too little. So she did nothing and hoped for the best.
She knew everyone in the office sensed there was something major wrong with her, but there was nobody she could discuss it with, and what was the point? She’d have to try and skirt around her attitude, because there was still a lot of work to be done.
Firstly, she called Carole into her office to discuss the viewings. The Gilbert’s house was inundated with interested parties. When it came to the crunch, it was going to be a fight and a half. All the more exciting for somebody, though she was delighted that Enid and William’s home would be top of the list.
Carole flipped over to the next page in her notebook. “Mr and Mrs Gilbert want to see you for a chat. They’re ever so nervous about the whole auction thing, and they’re unclear what’s expected of them.”
Phil made a note. “I’ll go see them.”
Carole stood up. She walked to the door and turned around. “Are you all right?”
Phil managed a smile. “Don’t worry. I’m fine. Everything will be okay.”
Carole didn’t look convinced, but all the same she left without commenting. Then Alan messaged her to see if he could chat. As if she didn’t have enough to contend with.
He took a seat and stared at her for a long time. “You look terrible. Is everything okay?”
How could he, or anyone else, fail to see the dark circles beneath her eyes? She couldn’t fool any of them, but she didn’t really care. “Yep, it’s all under control. I’ll be meeting with all the sellers over the next week.”
“Do you need any help?”
“No, thanks.”
Alan leaned back in his chair. He sighed. “I see the property you’re renting is up for sale?”
“Yes. It was inevitable.” She hadn’t told Alan that she’d moved from the rental at the beginning of January. He didn’t even know she’d bought the Chase. That was up for sale with another estate agent, though. She’d stay there until it was sold, and then she’d figure out where to go next.
Alan seemed to study her face. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“I moved from the rental in January. I bought a house.”
Alan leaned back in his chair. “Excellent. Where? In Cauthwell?”
Phil swallowed. “I bought the Chase.”
Alan nodded, as if he already knew. She guessed somebody would have told him.
“Yes, I heard it came back on the market. Why on earth didn’t you tell me you’d bought it?”
Phil shrugged. “I thought you’d be mad, what with it being Kim’s and all. You’ve got a personal stake in it, so it seemed best to keep it to myself.”
Alan breathed deeply and sighed. “It’s none of my business. There wasn’t anything professionally unethical about it. But did you tell Kim?”
Phil looked down into her lap and wrung her hands. “No.”
“I see.”
She was sure he didn’t, but at least he knew now.
He stared at a paperclip he was toying with. “Secrets eat you alive, Philippa. And there’s often no going back when they hit the light of day, even if you convinced yourself they weren’t a big deal.” Alan stared at her. “Anyway. You look dreadful. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, thanks. I think I’m coming down with that flu bug. Don’t worry. I’ll get over it.”
Alan nodded and left her office without anymore tid bits of wisdom. He was right, though.
She made a point of not being anywhere near the Chase when it was being viewed. It was painful. She and Cass had worked hard to make it exactly what Phil had imagined it could be, and she’d looked forward to living in it. It was odd having some other person showing it. Now she knew how so many of her clients probably felt. It was out of her control, but maybe it was for the best. The less she knew about it, the better.
She sat and pondered. It was funny ho
w you could live in a small village like Cauthwell, and yet never bump into the person you most wanted to see. She wished she had the courage to call Kim or to drop by the Pheasant and beg her forgiveness. She wished a lot of things. But it was too late. It would have seemed like an afterthought, and the more time that passed, the harder it became. The strange thing was, she hadn’t cheated on her. In fact, she’d never looked at another woman since they’d been dating. She never would have. She’d just cheated on her in other ways. She realised now. Never once had she taken Kim’s feelings into account.
Still, she couldn’t help but wonder how Kim was and where she was. She’d heard on the grapevine that she’d gone to see her mother in Paris, but surely she’d be back by now. She was pleased Kim had gone. She was sure they’d make it up. Perhaps she’d decided to live in Paris? Yes, that wouldn’t surprise her. But god, that would make their end so final, and the thought of that was like needles in her heart.
After a much-needed coffee, Phil rang Enid and William and said she’d pop in later. She really liked them. They reminded her of her grandparents. When they were alive, she’d confide in them, and they’d always been there to offer words of wisdom. She had nobody now, apart from Cass. She’d never been close to her parents, even as a child. She’d never turned to either of them in the past and had no intention of changing that now.
Enid opened the door and welcomed her with a big smile. “Come through. I’ve just made a pot of tea.”
“I knew I’d time it right.” Phil followed Enid into the sitting room, and William got up and gave her a hug.
“I’ve come to reassure you that all is going to plan. I’m sure you must have mixed feelings about the sale. After all, you’ve lived here nearly all your lives.”
“Oh no, dear.” Enid said without hesitation. “We can hardly wait to get rid. It’s like a millstone around our necks.”
Phil laughed. “You two astound me. You both have such positive attitudes.”
William patted Phil’s hand. “That’s because we’re going on a big adventure, unless of course, it all falls through.”
“That’s why I’m here. I want to reassure you that it’s all a formality now.”
William gave a thumbs up. “Excellent.”
Enid set the cups up and poured the tea. “I’m so sorry, there are no cakes today. I didn’t have time to go to the shops. I’m afraid your friend is going to be very disappointed.”
Phil stared down at her hands, then buried her face in them. The tears welled up in her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them from flowing. How embarrassing. The next thing she felt was Enid’s arm around her shoulder.
“There, there, dear. You’ll be all right. Tell us what’s happened?”
In a moment of ultimate unprofessionalism, Phil blurted everything out. They listened with empathy. She finished the story, and William passed her his clean, pressed, white handkerchief. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She felt so much better for getting it off her chest and sharing it, even if doing so with clients was the last thing she should be doing.
“Now listen to me, Philippa. Everything will be all right. These things have a way of fixing themselves.”
How could she know that? She said it with such conviction that Phil could almost believe her. They both had a calming effect on her, and by the time she got up to leave, they seemed to have passed on some sort of their positive vibes. “Shall I pick you up on the day of the auction?”
“It’s okay. Alan is taking us.”
Phil nodded. She was relieved because she liked to be alone with her thoughts before an auction. After the auction, she’d be alone forever.
***
Kim had settled into a relaxed routine with her mother. After breakfast she sat reading an article in the local paper. She pointed it out to her mum. “You see, this is what I’ve always wanted to do. The Pheasant has a massive garden at the back of the pub. It would be perfect for serving afternoon teas in the summer.”
Her mum sat beside her and read the feature. “Excellent. You want to take a course in l’art de la pâtisserie?”
“Maybe I’ll enrol on a course when I get back to England.”
Her mum punched her arm. “England? You’re in the heart of Paris. Where else could you learn to cook pastry better than here?”
Kim studied the paper. “I can’t stay here indefinitely.”
Her mum tapped the newspaper. “You wouldn’t have to. We could see if you could get on next week’s course.”
“But my French is terrible.”
“You can get by. Anyway, cooking has a language all its own.”
Kim couldn’t argue with another week away from Cauthwell. And the Pheasant wasn’t due to open for a while yet. They certainly didn’t need her input. No. A week was neither here nor there. And it wasn’t like Phil was sitting around missing her.
Kim cleared her throat. “Shall I do it then?”
“Yes!”
Her mum came back into the sitting room half an hour later. “Done. You’re enrolled. Luckily someone has dropped out.”
Kim wasn’t sure if that was the truth. Her mum and Pierre appeared to have so many contacts in Paris. But she couldn’t give a damn. She hugged and thanked her for giving her this wonderful opportunity. Her mum was certainly making things happen for her.
The next few days flew by. And then there she was, standing in the kitchen of one of the finest pâtisseries in Paris. What she lacked in language, she made up for in enthusiasm. She arrived early, and she left late. She pestered her teacher with hundreds of questions. She didn’t make friends with the other students, and she couldn’t give a monkey’s if they called her le swot. By the end of the week she came out with a good knowledge of pastry. They’d made pain au chocolat, eclairs, profiteroles, mille-feuille, and a variation of croissants, macarons, and tartes. Her teacher, Michel, had congratulated her on her achievements. He even asked her if she’d consider a career as one of his assistants. She felt honoured and told him so in her very best French but explained that she’d already taken up a position in England. She didn’t dare mention it was at a country pub.
It was a shame that she hadn’t got to meet Pierre. One more day, and she’d have met him, but her flight back was already booked. Next time. And there were going to be lots of next times. Her mum took her to the airport. It was a strange experience for the two of them, but they knew this was only the beginning.
Her mum lifted Kim’s chin up and stared into her eyes. “I love you, Kim. And now you know I’ve always loved you. Now you must go and make your future. We rarely get a second chance, so think about it and don’t throw it away. Love is precious, and it’s worth fighting for when it’s the real thing.”
Kim sniffed. “I love you, too.”
She tore herself away and walked quickly to the departures gate. She turned around, waved, and blew her mum a kiss. Her mum was right. It was time to go after what she wanted. And she knew exactly what that was.
Chapter Twenty-Three
It was the evening before the auction. Phil sat by the kitchen island perched on a bar stool. She poked at the Chinese takeaway cartons in front of her with a fork. Generally, she loved it, but tonight everything she put in her mouth tasted like cardboard. The two glasses of wine had improved it to a degree. Maybe a third would do the trick. She put the screw cap back onto the bottle and pushed it out of reach. The last thing she wanted was to wake up with a hangover.
She cleared it all away and took her mug of coffee to a sofa in front of the TV. She looked around. So far, there’d only been one offer on her house. It was a ridiculous one and easy to turn down. Maybe she’d put too high a price on it? Perhaps it was because she was scared to sell it. If she’d lowered it by twenty thousand, she was sure she’d have had a buyer. Then she’d have to make decisions. She wasn’t sure why she was putting the decisions on hold, because nothing was going to change for the better. What she really needed was a clean break. She’d tried, but it hadn’t worked
out in Cauthwell. Back to London and back to civilisation maybe. It didn’t matter how many times she said it, it didn’t ring true.
She’d heard that Kim was back. She hadn’t seen her and didn’t think it would change matters. People say that time’s a healer, but in this instance, they were wrong. She didn’t think Kim could turn the other cheek and forgive her. Phil’s deceit would always prey on her mind. God, she wished someone would hurry up and make an offer.
Morning came too soon. It seemed like she’d hardly slept, and yet she was awake again. This time it was seven o’clock. There was no point in lying there. She got up, went downstairs, and made a pot of coffee. She sat and read the newspaper from cover to cover but hardly took it in. It was all bad news anyway, just like her life.
Eventually, she dragged herself upstairs and took a long hot shower. She laid all her auction clothes out on the bed and slipped on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. What a charade. This was usually her favourite part of selling but even that had lost its attraction. She lay on the sofa under a light blanket and wrapped her arms around her tummy. Her phone buzzed. She looked at the number but didn’t recognise it. She pressed accept and put it on speaker.
“Is that Ms Young?”
“Speaking.”
“Good morning. It’s Clive from Jewels Estate Agents. Good news. An offer has been made on your house.”
Not another one. What stupid price this time? “Really. And?”