“I know,” she said, wringing her hands now. “I know it doesn’t make sense to you. It never will. Can’t you just accept that?”
“Even if it means I lose you?”
She nodded softly.
Chadwick let out a hoarse breath. “All the humans I protect in the world for the rest of my life won’t make me stop being sad when I think of your face.” He put a hand on the window frame. “You can’t possibly think that you’re just going to go home and be safe.”
“Maybe not,” she said, raising a shoulder. “But I wouldn’t know what was coming for me. And honestly, I think I could have a quiet life if I just stay off any paranormal’s radar.”
Chadwick shook his head. “How do you know he wasn’t in the mall because he could find you somehow? Why do you know him? What’s the relationship? You were only supposed to be with wolves.”
“Stop it!” She covered her ears, and her face contorted like she was in pain. “Just stop. You don’t know what you’re doing. I can’t remember. If I do, I—”
“You’ll what?” Chad asked sharply. They were getting to it now, the reason she had to keep everything from him and the other fae and anyone else who could help.
She shook her head, and when she looked up at him, tears were streaming, making her eyes look even more vividly green even in only the moonlight streaming through the window. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any problems. I just want to go home and forget.”
Feeling awful, he came back to the bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his lap as he moved back to sit against the headboard. “Bella, it’s okay. It’s going to be fine.”
“No, it’s not,” she said. “And you’re right. What I’m doing now sucks. I know you’ll be hurt by this. Couldn’t you have them erase your memory of me too?”
“Isabella, we can’t just run from whatever is chasing you, even if it is the past,” he said, brushing her hair back. “We have to fight.”
She shook her head.
“Removing the memories won’t change what happened,” he said.
“You don’t understand,” she said. “You can’t.”
Chadwick bit back a curse because anger wasn’t helping. “I need to talk to Taylor about my dream, then. Are you okay if I call him?”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“He was in the chaos realm for a long time,” Chadwick said. “He doesn’t talk about it a lot, but he’s a fae-dragon hybrid.”
She looked at him pleadingly. “No. Don’t. Don’t poke into this, please.”
Chadwick fixed her with a look. “I don’t know what else to do. You won’t tell me, and the awful things I’ve seen are not going to happen, dammit. I won’t let you get hurt. Taylor can at least tell me more about what I just saw, based on his experience.” He gently released her and started to get off the bed to get his phone when he felt her hand on his sleeve.
“Don’t,” she said. “Wait. Please.”
“Bella, give me another option,” he said. “What I saw…”
She bit her lip, then rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. “Do whatever you want. Go ahead and call Taylor. I’m telling the oracle I need to go home. I can’t stay here if you won’t drop this.”
“Fine,” Chadwick said tersely, hardening his heart. “You do what you want, and I’ll do what I want. But I won’t just stand by and see you hurt.”
“I won’t see you hurt either,” she said softly. Then she turned and left the room, closing the bathroom door behind her.
* * *
Taylor had come over immediately after Chadwick asked him, and the fae had come as well, since they still needed supervision.
The fae had sensed that they weren’t needed in this particular conversation, so they’d disappeared to their rooms to do who knew what while Chadwick met with Taylor in his office.
Right now, Taylor was pacing while thinking about everything Chadwick had told him about his vision.
“I don’t get it,” Taylor said. “A fae would never let a captive go. They’d kill them. You say she was captured by wolves?”
Chadwick nodded. “Well, she was rescued from wolves who were trafficking between the fae world and our own. She didn’t give more info, and according to the oracle, I should just let it go.”
Taylor scratched the back of his neck as he sat on the chair next to the window. “I can see why you can’t just let it go. If someone was threatening Mindy, I—”
“He wants her,” Chadwick said. “She’s in denial about it, but he definitely said he’d be back.”
“Maybe…” Taylor shook his head. “No. I know only one fae who could do that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I shouldn’t be talking about it,” Taylor said. “I only met him once in the lab.”
“Who?” Chadwick’s head hurt at this point. “Dammit, I wish someone would make some sense.”
“She’s your mate, isn’t she?” Taylor asked. “Have you felt the bond?”
“Bond?”
“Resonance?” Taylor asked.
Chadwick shook his head. “Boreas keeps talking about that as something that happens with fae.”
“And humans who have fae blood,” Taylor said. “I mean, that’s why the fae are interested in our world. Female fae blood is more dominant, so there are women here with the potential to become full-blooded fairies if they resonate strongly enough.”
“What do you mean resonate?”
“Hm,” Taylor said. “What do you mean when your dragon calls out to its mate?”
Chadwick realized that was hard to explain also. “Good point.”
“Resonance has to do with a fae’s magic and also their alignment with chaos or order. I know more about chaos fae, obviously, but Boreas has been teaching me a little about the world now that he’s stopped calling me a ‘chaos traitor.’”
“They take this stuff seriously,” Chadwick said.
“They spend their whole lives training against it to protect their kingdoms and world. They can’t afford not to.”
“But Bella… what could she have to do with all of this?”
“The cages and needles and things you described do sound a lot like what happened to me in the lab, so you could probably rest assured that part is in the past.”
Chadwick nodded.
“I’m just not sure why she wouldn’t tell you if she is your mate.”
“She doesn’t think so. She thinks she’s going to get her memory erased and go back to her world.”
Taylor’s eyes widened at that. “She wants her memory erased? Does she know you do that for this area?”
Chadwick shook his head. “She doesn’t need to. I may hate the idea, but if Isabella wanted it and the oracle commanded it, I suppose I would have to go along.”
“I wouldn’t,” Taylor said. “Not with what I’m expecting.” He sighed. “Do you think Bella would talk with me?”
Chadwick pressed his lips together. “I don’t know.”
“Can you ask?”
“I will, but what are you thinking about? Why did the memory thing connect for you?”
Taylor shook his head more emphatically this time. “I have to talk to Bella first. Alone.” His sapphire eyes met Chadwick’s. “I promise I’ll be kind.”
“Fine,” Chadwick said. “But I’ll be right outside if anything happens.”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Taylor said. “Can we talk in here?”
Chadwick nodded, already headed out to go find Isabella. “I’ll bring her back.”
And then hopefully, maybe, they could make headway on whatever was happening that made Chadwick’s mate feel so afraid and alone.
Chapter 22
Isabella had no idea why Taylor wanted to talk to her, but she liked the big, quiet man and didn’t have any worries about meeting alone with him.
Honestly, it was a bit nice to talk to someone other than the fae or Chadwick.
“So you were held captive by th
e chaos fae?” Taylor asked, unexpectedly calling her out on exactly what she’d been avoiding.
She felt ringing pain in her head and sat forward, holding it in both hands. “Stop. Please.”
Taylor was quiet immediately, and all Isabella could hear was her own hoarse breath.
“So it’s true,” Taylor said, letting his arms drop to the sides of the chair as his sapphire eyes widened. “How did this happen?”
She clenched her jaw as another flash of lightning went through her mind, almost blinding her. “I can’t.”
“Zareth, wasn’t it?”
“Don’t say his name,” she grated out, looking up at him as tears burned her eyes. “Please.” She was almost ready to call to Chadwick. Even though it was somewhat of a relief for someone to guess what had happened to her, she wouldn’t survive if he guessed much more.
“Sorry,” Taylor said, standing abruptly as if he could no longer stay sitting down. “Look, I was in his son’s lab. My friend, Ashton, and me.” He glanced at the window. “Ashton was killed. I was tortured. Maybe it’s better for me to talk about what happened to me than for you to talk about what happened to you.”
She nodded eagerly, feeling the stranglehold on her mind and heart loosening.
“That binding spell didn’t work on me,” Taylor said. “But I’m sorry it worked on you.”
She winced again as even the mention of it made pain shoot through her. “I just want to forget,” she said through gritted teeth. “If the memories are gone, maybe his hold will be gone with them.” More lightning. More pain. But what did it matter now?
“Shh,” Taylor said, coming over to her. His hand hovered just above her shoulder, then pulled back. “I’m not sure how to proceed here. Should I call Chadwick?”
She shook her head.
“Should I call my mate? Would you feel more comfortable?”
She glared up at him. “Taylor, you’re not the reason I’m in pain.”
She curled over again with another wave of it. God, why was she even letting someone talk about this?
Though, the pain had never been quite so bad. She hadn’t let anyone get close to the truth since she was captured.
If only Chadwick didn’t have visions, maybe this wouldn’t be happening.
She wanted to stay with him. Hated Zareth for doing this to her. But everything was locked away behind iron-black chains that would never release her.
Now that Taylor had guessed, the pain was so strong.
She had to live with the awful memories of what happened to her, but whenever she so much as thought about it, the chains tightened. If she ever spoke of it, first she felt blinding pain. But she had been told if she went further, she would destroy not only herself, but anyone around her.
She was a bomb waiting to go off, and she hated that she’d let herself fall for Chadwick. She’d let herself enjoy happiness for once when she’d known that it couldn’t end well.
But hadn’t she deserved to be loved in someone’s arms just once?
“Isabella, there is a way out of this,” Taylor said. “If we killed him…”
“No,” she said sharply. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt trying to help me when I can just go back to my world. It would be worse than what would happen if I told.” Pain shot through her, and she let out a little yelp.
The door to the office burst open to show Chadwick glaring angrily at Taylor. “If you—”
“She’s fine,” Taylor said, walking over to slam the door on him. “Go hang with the fae if you’re just going to wait out there to cause trouble.”
“Fine,” Chadwick said, seemingly reassured by the small glance he’d gotten from her.
She smiled at Chad’s thoughtfulness, but it only made her being trapped that much more bittersweet.
After Zareth had put the lock on her, she’d thought over and over about what she wanted to do if she ever escaped. What kind of life would even be possible?
She dreamed of a fresh start, what life would be like if this never happened.
And then, when she’d finally escaped and been rescued, they’d offered her just what she wanted.
And she’d been so busy telling herself that she was about to get everything she wanted that she’d never thought there might be someone she didn’t want to forget.
Something small and warm glowed inside her, pressing against the chains. She supposed it was her own imagination, a representation of her feelings.
But they wouldn’t matter, and if she told anyone, she would die.
“I sense chaos on you,” Taylor said. “So we can talk about this without you telling me anything. Which should get around the binding spell.”
She nodded, though another round of lightning went through her mind at the mention of the spell.
She didn’t mind the pain so much, though. It was the thought of accidentally failing to keep her mouth shut and destroying people around her that scared her most.
“So I’m just going to sit here and talk options, and it’s completely unrelated to you, okay?”
She felt the pressure in her head abate and nodded, not wanting to face him.
“You were captured by the fae, not wolves.”
She winced at the pain. God, could she not even confirm what had happened to her? Even when the oracle had questioned her, she hadn’t been able to say more.
Though, at least the old woman seemed to accept it, even with her sad eyes.
“Okay,” Taylor said. “Not going to work. Damn, that’s a powerful spell. All right. I know a friend. Not related to you. Just a friend.”
She nodded.
“Her name is… Lizabella.”
Isabella bit her lower lip, nodding.
“She was wooed by a fae prince like the ones here. But he was in the human world.”
She stayed quiet.
“But she couldn’t see through his charm. He was perfect. Kind. Sweet. Handsome. Willing to do anything for her. And he waited. For months. Dating her the slow, patient way.”
She nodded to let him know she was still listening. She wasn’t sure how he was getting so close to the truth, though.
“Then he said he wanted her to meet his family. And they’d have to go somewhere far away. Somewhere special.”
She nodded, shame washing through her.
“And when they got there, he wanted her to change.” Taylor looked out the window, leaning against the edge of it. “He wanted her to show him her powers.”
She nodded, at this point feeling like a robot that was running out of battery.
“But he thought she was something she wasn’t. She didn’t manifest when he tried to bond with her.”
She blinked back tears, glad the chains held back some memories.
“And she didn’t manifest when he then submitted her to torture and then installed her in a lab, getting more and more desperate to try and get her to show him what he wanted to see.”
She nodded miserably. Silently. How did he know?
“Anyway, Lizabella escaped. After enduring more than any human could. But she was caught. And when she was brought back, he decided to put a spell on her. Something only he could do. Something that meant he could throw her away without ever fearing she would betray him.”
She sniffled.
“So he sold her to wolf traffickers just to make a point. She tricked them into selling her back into the human realm, and then she managed to get saved when a pair of double dragons was policing their area.”
She nodded.
“But then she still wasn’t truly free, because she could feel the spell. And she knew one day she might accidentally tell one of her memories and kill someone. So she had to be able to forget.”
She looked up at him, and he turned to face her, those marvelous sapphire eyes so full of empathy she thought she could break.
“They couldn’t use the spell on me,” Taylor said. “I’m a silver dragon.” He pulled a chair over next to her and sat down on it. “They still managed
to mess up my blood, change me into a totally different beast, kill my best friend, and make it so that I felt like a monster for a really long time. They’re evil.”
“Some aren’t,” she said, thinking of Boreas and Ivar and the other fae she’d come to think of as friends.
“We had to meet the bad ones, though, me and my friend Lizabella,” he said, and his eyes twinkled this time.
“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry it happened to you too.”
He shook his head. “It was bad. So bad it still wakes me at night sometimes. But you know what makes it okay? I get to curl over and hold my mate, feel her warmth, and know that I bring great joy into her life. I’m glad I survived that place. And Lizabella should be too. Because we’re here and alive, and we have friends who love us. That will fight for us.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want them to.”
“You may not have a choice,” Taylor said quietly. “When Ashton gave his life for me, it wasn’t a decision I agreed with. I didn’t even want to escape that place. I was so dead inside. But Ashton gave me his last name, Taylor, and sent me out in the world to do my best. I’m here, and I’m not dead. And you’re here, and you’re not dead. So we just have to keep fighting.”
“And it’s worth it?” she asked, raising her head and sitting up finally. Talking about Lizabella had allowed the chains to loosen up some, though she didn’t know if they would ever release her.
“Yes,” Taylor said. “A million times yes. Just the love is worth it.”
“But I can’t…” She shook her head. “You know I can’t.” She sighed. “How did you know what happened to… to Lizabella?”
Taylor smiled. “Because a silver dragon can read minds better than any other dragon. Even minds chained by dark magic.”
She sighed in relief, glad to know that someone knew even if she couldn’t talk about it.
“You can’t tell Chadwick,” she said. “He’ll end up trying to talk about it with me, and—”
“Right,” Taylor said. “Bad news.”
Taylor had talked so much with her that she’d forgotten he was known for being a pretty nonverbal person.
“Bad news,” she said.
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