by V. Vaughn
I chuckle. When my parents died in a forest fire, he took over as my caretaker. Although he’s only a few years older than me, it didn’t stop him from bossing me around. “I eat plenty.”
“Yeah, but probably not the way us Thompson bears need to eat. I bet you’ve been cooking your meat too long to appease your fancy human friends. I suppose they wouldn’t appreciate watching you chow down on a raw piece of bloody meat.”
I laugh. Bruce doesn’t suffer foolish humans easily. In fact, I don’t think he likes them much. I could count on one hand the number of times he’s left Heartland and mingled with humanity. He’s a homebody who loves his shifter town more than anything else.
“My friends aren’t fancy.”
“Uh-huh. What about that supermodel you dated for the last year or so? She looked fancy enough with her designer dress and shoes I saw her wearing when you two were splashed all over the cover of a magazine in the checkout line.”
He’s talking about Emery, who’s famous for the fact she’s a filthy-rich heiress and her propensity to get photographed nude on hotel balconies and beaches. “I didn’t know you read the tabloids.”
He grunts at me.
“Yeah, I’m not dating her anymore.”
“Good. She wasn’t your type.” He swings an arm around my shoulders and leads us out of the shed toward the main house.
He’s right, Emery wasn’t my type at all. She was all flash with no substance. I dated her because she wanted me. Truth be told, it was a relationship of convenience that worked for both of us. She kept the gold diggers at arm’s length for me, and I kept her in the public eye.
But when the rumors of an engagement started to fly, I broke things off. It felt like our ruse had gone too far, and I worried that it would hurt people I love. Now I realize that deep down it was Hillary I worried about. I never wanted her to think someone ever mattered more to me than her.
She is all the woman I’ve ever wanted or needed. And now I need to find a way back into her heart.
Chapter 5
HILLARY
I yawn as I pour coffee for two of my regulars, Delilah, who owns and operates the local bookshop, and Jane, the town’s mayor. They’re here every day, and they know when I’m off my game. I didn’t sleep well last night. Too many thoughts about Alec bouncing around in my head. And it didn’t help that my bunny wanted to shift and go bounding around town looking for him.
“Late night?” Delilah asks.
I tried! cries my bunny. “No, just a little bit of insomnia.”
She winks at Jane sitting across the booth from her. “So, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Alec Thompson is back in town?” Her eyes light up at the prospect of some good gossip. I can’t blame her. It’s the nature of a small town, and I’m not above it myself. But I don’t like it when I’m the subject.
Jane swats her friend on the arm. “Leave her alone, De. No one likes a gossip.”
I’m about to agree with her, when out of the corner of my eye, I spy Alec casually walking into the diner as if he does it every day. He takes a seat nearby, and I bet he’s assuming it’s in my section. He’s right and probably remembers how the restaurant is divided up from being in here all time when we dated. It takes my brain a minute to catch up to the fact that this isn’t high school anymore and we’re not together.
I hate that his hair is damp, as if he just stepped out of the shower, causing me to picture droplets of water rolling down his perfectly chiseled pecs and making me thirsty to lap them up. Yeessss, moans my bunny. I groan at myself and retreat into the kitchen.
Mandy, my coworker and longtime friend, finds me peering around the corner with the hope he’ll leave or at least join someone at a table that’s not in my section. “Do you want me to run pass interference for you, hon? I can take his table, no problem.”
“So, you saw?”
She gives me a pout in solidarity. “I think everyone saw, sweetie.” She rubs my arm in reassurance.
For as long as I can remember, Mandy’s been working at the diner. Not that she’s old; she’s only twenty-eight. But she was the girl who trained me and lived through my relationship with Alec from beginning to end. She knows just how devastated I was when we broke up and watched me devour entire chocolate cream pies over it.
Maybe if I inhale one now, I’ll feel better.
I nod. “Yes, if you could take the table that would be great. I don’t think I can face him right now.”
Not without thinking about him naked in the shower and wanting to climb him like a tree. Or slam him up against a tree. Or on the ground by a tree.
My bunny twitches. I ignore her.
She pats my arm again. “Okay, Hill.”
Mandy can’t help herself. She’s a wolf shifter and the nurturing type who parents everyone who’ll let her. It’s a good thing, too. She’s a single mother, and her son, Daniel, is more than a handful.
Relieved Mandy’s waiting on Alec, I peek around the corner again to watch her approach the table. He smiles up at her, they have a brief conversation, and then Mandy comes back to me with a scowl on her face.
“He’s asking specifically for you and won’t leave until you wait on him. Honestly, I think you better make things crystal clear. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t like to take no for an answer.”
Don’t I know it. I sigh as annoyance ramps up in me. “Oh, for Pete’s sake.”
I stomp over to the table and point my finger at him before he can open his mouth and say anything. “Just because I work at the diner doesn’t mean that I have to be your waitress. You’ve got some nerve walking in here and expecting me to wait on you hand and foot. I’m not your darn wife, which is no one’s fault but your own, so don’t treat me like one. Got it?”
The moment the wife bit comes out I cringe in embarrassment. I don’t need Alec believing I think—thought—about him that way.
“Right on, honey!” Jane shouts out from her booth.
When I glance over at Jane, Delilah gives me a thumbs up.
My cheeks flush, but now I’m more angry than embarrassed that I blew up at him loud enough for everyone to hear me. Although, I did make my feelings crystal clear like Mandy told me to.
“Hillary, if you’ll just give me—”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Nope, I’m not giving you a thing. I don’t owe you any more of my time. You might as well just leave.” I turn on my heel and walk away with smug satisfaction. I bet Alec Thompson hasn’t had a woman talk to him like that in a long time, and I think he had it coming.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t leave. For the next two hours, I take orders, pour coffee and tea, and carry trays of food to my tables, and Alec watches it all.
It’s maddening. Mandy tries to intervene and get him to leave at one point, but she doesn’t have any luck either. Rita Mae just tsks at me and says having a famous quarterback here is good for business. Mandy finally caves and sneaks him coffee and breakfast like I won’t notice, but I don’t get mad at her. I know she can’t watch someone suffer when she can do something to help.
He’s hardly suffering, though. This is a man who is so used to getting what he wants that he thinks he can wear me down. He’s in for a rude awakening.
Finally, when there’s a line out the door, Alec gives up his table. But he leaves me a note written on a napkin, along with a hundred-dollar bill for Mandy. She brings me the note and looks over my shoulder as I read it.
I’ll be back at the end of your shift. There’s something I need to tell you.
I crumple it up and toss it into the garbage.
“Do you want me to call the sheriff and tell him that this guy’s bothering you?” Mandy asks. “He’ll come if I ask him. I’m pretty sure he’s sweet on me.”
It’s tempting, but I resist. “No, I’ll deal with him. But thanks.” I give her a small smile, letting her know I appreciate her support.
“I can come with you and beat some sense into him with my rolling
pin if necessary.” She lifts her arm and mimics smacking someone in the head.
I laugh, and she adds, “But can I wait on him one more time? I kind of like the look of old Benjamin.”
I know how much that money means to Mandy. She’s always trying to find ways to make ends meet to support her little family. “He’s yours any time he comes in. Promise.”
I’m grateful I have Mandy as a friend. She’s always been there for me. And for a brief second, I consider her offer to beat some sense into Alec.
But it wouldn’t solve anything. Alec isn’t one to back down from a challenge. I have to talk to him. My stomach churns, because try as I might, I can’t seem to push my attraction to Alec back into the box I’d been keeping it in.
I don’t know what he thinks I need to hear, but whatever it is, it’s not going to convince me we should get back together for a brief fling while he’s here. Because when he leaves…
My bunny whispers, It would sure be fun.
She can’t help herself. Most shifters’ animals are driven by their id, and pleasure is foremost in their minds. I flood her with the memory of our heartbreak, and it makes her remind me of crying on my bed when the food I was binging on had made me too fat to fit in my clothes.
Pain slices through my heart as I recall how hard it was to pull myself out of the depths of that despair, and it appeals to my bunny’s tender side. She fills me with the love of her hug, and I smile.
“Thank you,” I say out loud. It’s to my bunny but also to Mandy, who is still standing beside me in solidarity.
“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Mandy says. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I know.”
She hugs me, and I feel a bit better knowing both Mandy and my bunny have my back. They’ve given me the courage to face Alec and tell him what I’ve waited six years to say.
Chapter 6
ALEC
I went to the park to sit and think while Hillary finished her shift. I was as hopeless as a lovesick teenager as I replayed all the happy memories I have of Hillary and me. And it occurs to me that I’m only feeling a taste of the pain she must have felt when I left her behind.
While it’s probably not true, I feel as if I’ve only got one shot for Hillary to listen to me. From what I remember about her schedule, since she was on at breakfast, she should get out around two after the lunch rush is over. I walk over at one-thirty to be sure.
I’m sure people think I’m a stalker as I watch her through the window. More than one customer says hello and then gives me the side eye before they go in. At a little after two o’clock, I see Hillary take off her apron and duck back into the kitchen. I know she could easily leave through the back entrance, and I wonder if she’s changed her mind about talking to me. I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
About the time I’m ready to go check she walks out the front door and stands in front of me expectantly, her eyes wide and eyebrows arched up to her hairline. It’s a look I’ve seen before, and I know whatever I say better be good.
She jams her hands into her coat pockets. “I’ve only got five minutes because I need to get home.”
I think about the fact she might not be single. My throat burns with acid as if I’m going to throw up as I imagine the possibility.
“Is someone waiting for you at home?”
“Yes, and now you only have four minutes left.”
I want to ask who it is, but I don’t think I can handle that right now. And I’m sure as hell the question wouldn’t go over well, so I spit out what I need to say.
“Look, Hillary, I’m so sorry for leaving you—”
She puts up her hand to stop me from finishing. “An apology?” She lets out a huff of irritation. “It’s too little, too late, Alec. You can’t just come here, apologize, and expect me to pretend it’s okay. You don’t have any idea how much you hurt me, do you? And if I—"
Her eyes fill with tears, and she swallows hard to fight them. It cuts through my heart like a knife, and I want to reach out and pull her into my arms. To comfort her. But I’m the one who caused her so much pain, and apparently, I still do.
She clears her throat and says, “What you did taught me a valuable lesson, Alec. I won’t let you toy with my heart like that again.” She pauses to take a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I accept your apology if that’s what you need to move on. And I’d really appreciate it if you stopped coming by to see me. Can—” Her voice cracks. “Can you just go back to your life now and leave me alone? Please?”
She gasps with a cry forcing itself out, and it’s killing me that I can’t make it better. “Hillary—”
She steps back and covers her mouth, and I’m not sure why, but I blurt out, “I’m injured.” Her eyes widen, and since I’ve already told her my secret, I continue to clarify. “I wrecked my knee and I… well, I might be home for good.”
She blinks and swipes away tears before a scowl covers her face. “Are you serious?”
I nod and let her see how difficult this news is for me. No reason to hide it now.
“Oh, Alec. When did it happen? You just won the—” Her eyes widen, and it gives away the fact that she watched me play, though it may have been for the commercials like a lot of people, but she must have heard what happened. “I heard that—” She shakes her head. “Was it when you hobbled off the field and then you were suddenly okay again?”
I nod. “It’s not getting better. The doctor is trying to convince me it never will be good enough for me to play again.”
“Hmpf. Human doctor, right?”
She always used to have my back, and it warms my heart she still does in a small way. “No, I found a really great shifter doctor who deals with sports injuries.”
“What about surgery?”
“Can’t. My body tries to undo whatever he does.”
“Ah.” She chuckles dryly at herself. “Sorry, I’m sure you’ve tried everything and I’m asking stupid questions. No surgery though? That’s tough.” She scans my body with her gaze, and I can’t help it… I tighten my abs as she says, “I can see it. Your bear is stubborn that way.”
Hillary’s expression is compassionate, and it fills my heart further with my love for her. She asks, “What happens when you shift?”
“I—” I give her a sheepish grin, because I haven’t dared to shift since I got home. I’m not ready to find out I’m not able to run as a bear either.
“You need to test it, Alec,” she chides. She shakes her head, and I know she means it when she says, “I’m truly sorry to hear about your injury. That must be really hard. I know how much football means to you.”
Yeah. She’s not saying it to hurt me, but my past actions made it clear football meant more to me than she did. She adjusts the strap of her purse on her shoulder like she’s ready to walk away.
“I shouldn’t have burdened you with that,” I say. “I didn’t mean to. I really only wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I hurt you.”
She speaks in a matter-of-fact tone. “Maybe you didn’t mean to tell me, but it’s proof you’re still the Alec Thompson who left me for the game. And it should tell you something, too. I’m sure that works for all your other girls, but being number two will never work for me.”
Her words are like a slap in the face, and she has every right to feel that way. I haven’t given her a reason not to. I know that no matter what I say to tell her how much she means to me, it would only be words she won’t believe.
Hillary takes a step back. “I’ve got to go.” She gives me a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Take care of yourself.”
“Sure.” I watch her walk away from me, down the sidewalk we used to walk together hand in hand. I keep hoping she’ll turn around to see if I’m watching, but she doesn’t, and she turns the corner and disappears from view.
My throat gets thick as sadness fills me. She’s just as important to me as football, and I wish I’d seen I could have had both. But I didn�
�t, and now I wonder if I have to choose her over football to prove how I feel. Would she even take me back if I did? Now, after all these years?
I get back on my bike and rev the engine before I start to drive back to the house. What I really want to do is roar with my frustration. But I’ll save that for when I’m alone in the woods. She’s right, I do need to shift and test my knee. I need to find out if I have a second chance at anything.
Chapter 7
ALEC
Thankfully Bruce is working at the auto body shop when I get home, and I decide it’s a good time for me to try and shift without him looming over me, judging me. That judgment is his right as my brother and the guy who helped raise me. And I get that it stems from concern, but I’ve got enough to deal with right now.
The biggest reason I’ve been avoiding a shift is because I’m afraid it will tell me for sure if my knee is ever going return to full capabilities. I did try a few times over the past month in Florida, and to my horror, at first I couldn’t shift at all.
It could have been that my bear didn’t feel safe out of his element, but it scared me to death to think that I wouldn’t be able to shift again. My bear, that big beast, had been scared too. But the next week we tried again, and it worked, only the pain was even worse than as a human.
“Hey, big fella,” I say to him as I walk to the back of the house and strip down. “Let’s see if we’re going to be okay.”
He lets out a growl of determination. One thing my bear has most of the time is an overabundance of confidence. I think we’re going to need it.
As I inhale long deep breaths of air, I think about my bear, picture him in my mind. I can feel him striding back and forth, impatiently waiting to come out and bask in the warm sunlight. I close my eyes and force the shift through my body. My bones elongate and shorten, rearrange themselves as the girth of my body expands with thick muscle, fat and fur. My knee crackles and pops like a bowl of rice cereal. It always hurts a little to shift, but this pain is intense and shoots through me like lightning, threatening to set me on fire. It’s so bad I nearly stop mid-shift, but I know that would be stupid and I’d probably damage my body even worse.