by V. Vaughn
Oh man. Here we go.
He’s not the least bit shy. His shirt comes off, and I marvel at the way his muscles ripple as he moves. I’ve always found him sexy, but he has definitely improved with age. Football has been kind to that physique of his.
It’s not fair how time seems to be kinder to men. They get more attractive, while women just… age.
I shake my head at myself, because the way Alec is looking at me tells me he doesn’t mind. At all. With his gaze locked on mine, he shucks his pants and stands there buck naked. Beautiful and divine.
I’m embarrassed by the way I’m gawking, and I turn back around to try to control my raging hormones. I think about our kiss the other day, and I heat up as I want a repeat performance. To kiss him. Touch him. Move over him. Under him.
I take a deep breath as my insides tremble with need. Jeez! I need a cold shower, or my bunny needs to jump into a cold pond.
Do it! Kiss him!
“No. Shut up!”
Alec chuckles. “Did you say something?”
I blush.
“Nope. Nothing. Now, are we shifting or what?” I ask as I crouch down on the grass, curling up to cover my nude body and to force the shift. It’s quick for me. It always has been. Probably because I’m so small, and it doesn’t take as much energy to shrink as it does to grow big.
Now a bundle of white fluff, I rise onto my hind legs and sniff the air, unable to stop my tail from twitching. I shake to get comfortable in my fur and with my animal form.
I hop around, ecstatic to be a bunny again. Everything is easier, less complicated, and being free to hop brings me joy. Sometimes it feels more normal to be a bunny than it does being a human. I try not dwell on that, though because it can be dangerous to get into the mindset.
I bounce over to Alec as he gets down on the ground to get ready to shift. He laughs as I hop on his bare foot and then hop away when he tries to pet me. It’s a game we’ve played before.
While I watch him shift, I notice his knee seems to cause him discomfort. When his back legs twist and reform, he lets out a little grunt. And when he’s finally a bear, my bunny bounces up and down in place with her happiness.
I hop over to sniff him. He sniffs me back, and I think I see happiness in those big brown eyes of his.
I take off into the trees, and Alec lopes behind me. He could easily overtake me, but he decides to let me lead this adventure. It could be that his knee is bothering him and he couldn’t run any faster even if he wanted to. The thought makes me sad to imagine he’s suffering even in his bear form.
When we reach the meadow, Alec flops down in the tall grass and rolls around on his back. His joy matches mine as I wait for him to be still so I can hop onto him. I thump my back foot impatiently. When he tries to swat at me with his huge paw I leap up onto his back and onto his head. He makes a chuffing noise of laughter.
When Alec rolls to his feet and lumbers back into the woods, I follow with a good idea of where he’s leading me. It used to be our favorite spot to go together.
I spring after him, excited to go, and it’s not long before we come out of the trees and to a small waterfall with a hot spring below it. In the past, this was where we’d skinny dip as well. The water is always warm and soothing, and as naked teens we’d spend hours making out and exploring each other’s bodies.
Alec lays on the ground and shifts back to his human form. His skin is slick with sweat, and I can see the strain of it on his face, making me pretty sure it hurts his knee, but he masks it with a big grin.
“Want to go skinny dipping like we used to?” He asks as he walks to the edge of the pool and slowly lowers himself into the water.
I do. I’ve been having so much fun with him and his bear that I want to keep it going. As night approaches, a full moon already hangs overhead. And it reminds me of the good times we used to share. Sexy, romantic times that fill me with nostalgia as I think about them.
I probably shouldn’t, but I shift to my human form anyway to join him in the spring. The heat of the water seeps into my muscles, relaxing me, and I let out a sigh as if my troubles are washed away. The reservations I have about Alec seem to dissolve too.
Alec splashes at me, and when it hits me in the face, it’s as if we’re back in high school.
I glare at him, but I’m not mad. I’m in a playful mood. “You’re going to regret that.” I drag my arm through the water in a sweeping motion to cause a wave that splashes him back.
Instead of retaliating, Alec pulls me into his arms. My bare breasts press against his firm chest, and my breath catches in my throat. My body heats up in response to the touch of his skin, and my nipples harden with the desire that burns in me. He looks deep in my eyes.
Alec lets out a whoosh of air. “God, I’ve missed you.” He leans in and buries his nose into the side of my neck, inhaling me as one of his hands cradles the back of my head and the other clutches me around the waist to hold on tight. “Not a single day went by that I didn’t think of you. I was a fool to have walked away from you.”
“I—” I almost tell him it’s been the same for me too. But I can’t. I can’t keep the sliver of fear away, even if my physical need for Alec nearly overwhelms me. So much so that I don’t stop him when his mouth covers mine.
I not only let him kiss me, but I kiss him back, with the passion of yesterday as well as today. I want it just as much as he does, and I realize it’s time to stop denying the truth.
Chapter 18
ALEC
I can’t believe Hillary’s actually in my arms again. Her naked body pressed against mine as we kiss makes my heart sing with more than passion and pleasure. It’s like she’s a piece of me that’s been missing and we’ve finally clicked into place.
I feel like I’m being swept up into a dream. One that I’ve had many times over the years. She’s so soft, sweet, and sexy. Everything I remembered about being with her is only a hint of what I’m experiencing right now. This woman stole my heart in ninth grade, and it’s been hers all along.
Our kiss sends pleasure zinging through me like electricity, a bolt of lightning striking an expanse of unsuspecting ground. I let my hands roam across her waist and hips, reveling in the silkiness of her skin. I feather my fingers down one hip, and over the swell of her ass. The touch coaxes a small gasp from her mouth, and I tilt my head and deepen the kiss, sweeping my tongue over hers.
When I stroke the underside of her breast, she lets out a little mewl of pleasure and I want to hear more. To hear her panting and her cries when I bring her over the edge.
Hillary’s heart pounds beneath her chest as I tease her with my soft strokes, too afraid to go further. There is no mistaking the scent of her desire in the air. It’s intoxicating to me as a human and addicting for my bear. I move my hand up closer to her nipple, but she suddenly pulls away. She leans up against the side of the pool as her chest heaves with her breathing. Like a skittish little bunny.
I’m gasping for air too as I move back to give her more space. I’m so stupid. I moved too fast and scared her away.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did.”
“I would’ve stopped the second you asked me to,” I say, feeling like a bit of an asshole for pushing at all.
“I know. This is on me. Don’t worry about it.” She lifts herself out of the hot springs and sits on the edge. Her pink nipples are still hard, now likely from the cool air on her wet skin. “I got caught up in memories of the past, but it won’t happen again. It can’t,” she says as if she’s trying to convince herself more than me.
I move closer to her. I can’t help myself. I feel her pulling away from me, and I don’t want that to happen. Not after having her in my arms again. “Why not? Why can’t it happen again?”
“Because you’re talking about leaving again, Alec. We’ve been over this.”
I frown, wondering how she got that from anything we did today. “I don’t understand. I neve
r said I was leaving.”
“Coaching? You said you were thinking about it, and the last time I checked, we didn’t have an NFL team in Heartland.”
I shake my head and move closer to put my hand on her knee. “You and I were exploring options. I haven’t made any plans to leave. I don’t even know what I’m going to do tomorrow.”
She bites down on her lower lip. I wonder if it’s to keep from crying. The very thought burns, a smolder way down deep inside of me, and I want to hold her and make it go away.
“I can’t go on the rollercoaster of falling in love with you, Alec, just to have you leave me again. I just can’t do it. I won’t.”
Before I can say anything, she swings her legs out of the pool and shifts into her bunny. It’s so quick she’s just a white blur. I forgot how fast she could move. Place her on a football field in her bunny form and she’d kick Tom Brady’s ass ten ways to Sunday. Maybe mine too, but let’s not get crazy.
“Hillary, wait!” I reach for her, but she hops away before I can touch her.
I want to chase her, but a bear chasing a bunny isn’t fair. And it’s a horrible thing to do to her. Fight or flight—it will stimulate her natural impulses and make her run even faster. In fear.
Dejected, I sink into the hot water. My heart aches as if it’s cracking in two. We were so close to reconnecting, and then it was gone again. Dissipated like fog in the morning sunshine. Maybe I can’t fix our relationship. Maybe it really is broken, never to be pieced back together.
Sighing, I lean my head back against the edge of the pool. I can still taste her on my lips and feel her body pressing against mine. I pound my fist into my palm. Damn it! Why did I have to push her past a kiss?
Because she’s impossible to resist, my bear says. It’s true.
But not impossible to leave. I think back to when I got the call about my draft pick to Florida. Hillary was with me. It was on a Friday afternoon a few days before our high school graduation, and we were at the diner getting burgers. My cell phone rang, I answered it, and it was the assistant coach of the Dolphins. He told me I was on their list and that training camp would start in two weeks.
I remember being stunned, and when I told Hillary she was so happy for me. She even cried and hugged me. She told me how proud she was of me. I had worked hard for it. And she’d been at my side cheering me on the entire time.
We drove back to my place, and she was there holding my hand when I told my brother. There was a lot of celebrating that night, and Hillary had laughed and cheered and never once was anything other than excited for me.
As the day I was scheduled to leave neared, I could feel her pulling away. There were fewer smiles and hugs, and less celebration. I can’t remember if I ever asked her why or what was going on. I was so absorbed in my own happiness about this amazing thing that was happening to me I couldn’t see the signs. I remember being angry that she was being so mopey, wasting the time we had left.
I shake my head at myself and how self-absorbed I was. So incredibly selfish. So caught up in me, me, me.
Then the day before I was supposed to leave, we came here to the hot springs. I wanted to make love since I was leaving soon, but she wanted to talk. She asked me to stay in Heartland and not to leave her. Then she rattled off several jobs I could easily get and said we could get a place together and eventually get married.
I told her she was crazy to ask me that… That this was my dream come true and I wasn’t staying for any reason.
I rub a hand over my face as I recall how cruel I was. I should’ve asked her then to come with me. But I didn’t. It crossed my mind, but I thought she’d only distract me. I was such a fool then. And apparently, I still am. Because I managed to be the insensitive jerk once again.
I don’t know what the hell to say to Hillary. But I do know I’d better say something. Acknowledge that I’m hurting her, even though that’s the last thing I want to do.
I get out of the water, pad to an open area, and crouch down to shift. When I do, I realize the pain in my knee is better. The springs did me some good.
When I get back to Hillary’s, I find the lights are off in the house and my clothes are waiting for me, folded and sitting on the steps to her door. I suppose I should be grateful she didn’t make me hunt for them.
After I dress, I stare at her house, hoping to see her face looking out at me from the window. Hoping that she will give me another chance to prove myself to her. But the windows remain dark, the blinds still. So, I make my way to the diner to get my truck, wondering if I should leave my hope for us behind.
Chapter 19
HILLARY
I’m dragging my ass today. I’m tired and didn’t sleep well last night. My dreams were filled with images of naked Alec, water sluicing down the planes of his hot, hard body. A body that has definitely replaced the boyish form of him in my memory. Desire smolders in my lower belly as I think about him. It’s a mate thing, and it’s part of why denying Alec is so damn hard.
I wanted him so badly yesterday that I almost let go completely. And the truth is I would have if he hadn’t been so hesitant to go further than a kiss.
I know I told him I shouldn’t have let us get carried away, but I’m not sure that’s true any longer. I’m so afraid to trust him, yet when I begin to, I’m the one who sabotages whatever good thing we have going.
I open the back door of the diner to take a bag of trash to the dumpster in the alley. My nose twitches when the foul odor of rotting food fills my nostrils. After I toss the garbage, I lean against the brick wall to think. I regret it a moment later when my bunny takes advantage of my lull in activity to mount another argument about Alec.
Why can’t I be with my mate? She demands. Again. Man, she can be annoying. Mates in love. We belong together.
I sigh. Arguing with her is pointless. My animal side is all about pleasure. She doesn’t understand the nuances of trust.
I’m startled by the door opening, and Mandy comes out carrying another bag of garbage. One that isn’t full, making me pretty sure she was just looking for an excuse to come back here to talk to me.
“You all right, hon?” She tosses the bag into the dumpster. Her smile is casual, but I can see the concern in her eyes.
“I shifted with Alec last night, and we went to our favorite spot, and… we kissed,” I admit to her.
“Was it a good kiss?”
I groan, “Yes, god help me.”
She shakes her head. “I knew this was going to happen.”
I pout. “Please don’t lecture me. I’m feeling a bit raw about it right now.”
“You know what we need right now?”
“Pie?”
“Even better. A girls’ night out.” She swings her arm around my shoulder. “Call up your Lexi girl, I’ll ask my mom to look after Daniel, and the three of us can get some wine, and sit around and talk all of this through. What do you say?”
“You’re taking a night off from motherhood to be with me?”
“Who says I’m taking a night off from mothering?” she teases, and I smile.
“I’d love it. Thanks.”
Tangy cheddar cheese flavor fills my mouth as I help myself to the snack tray on Lexi’s coffee table. Mandy and I are happily cuddled on Lexi’s sofa with big glasses of wine in our hands. Lexi is in her big arm chair with her legs curled up under her, drinking beer.
“I love this house,” Lexi says. “I’m not sure I want to sell it even though I’m living with Tristan in his cabin up the mountain. I just can’t bear to let it go.”
I can understand why. It’s a happy place full of color and Lexi’s artistic touches.
“Is he making you sell it?” Mandy asks.
“Oh goodness no,” she says, “He’s fine with me keeping it. I think.” She laughs. “Considering what we’ve been through, he’s not pushing me too hard on anything.”
“You could rent it out,” I suggest. “It’s such a cute cottage. I bet it would do well in
the vacation market.”
“I think so too,” Lexi says. She glances around and sighs. “I have so many great memories of this place. This was the first house I ever lived in on my own, and it reminds me of how thrilled I was to move to Heartland.” She shakes her head and giggles. “Memories. I have to say I’m happy to be able to say that again.”
Both Mandy and I nod. It wasn’t that long ago that Lexi had a terrible accident and lost her memory. It was a harrowing ordeal for her, and for those who loved her, including me, but especially Tristan who had frantically searched for her for days before finding her in a hospital down the mountain. A human hospital. At the time, I wasn’t sure she was ever going to remember me. But she did. I smile at her. Lexi’s become my best friend, and I love her dearly.
I never told her about Alec though, and I realize that trying to keep him in my past, even though he never really was out of my mind, was a mistake. I think she’d have helped me deal with the loss I felt if I’d let her. Damn trust issues.
“Hey, Lexi.” I frown as I hope she won’t be mad. “There’s something I need to tell you about.”
She gives me a serious look. “What is it, Hill?”
“Remember how you thought I should date Bruce and you tried to set me up?”
She nods. “I still don’t get why you wouldn’t even give him a chance.”
“Well,” I glance over at Mandy who rolls her eyes at me as if she’s imagining how that might have played out. “The reason wasn’t about Bruce. It’s his younger brother, Alec. He’s my mate and the guy I’m currently obsessing over.”
Lexi spits out some of her beer. “The Alec Thompson is your mate? Why the heck didn’t you tell me?”
“Your wedding wasn’t exactly the time to get into it.”
“Fair. And jeez, I wish I’d known. Why didn’t you ever mention him to me before?”