by V. Vaughn
My son gulps down his mouthful of turkey sandwich. “He pushed me so high in the swing I bet I could have flied.”
I refrain from correcting his grammar and smile as Daniel lifts his sandwich up but doesn’t put it in his mouth so he can keep talking. My child definitely had a great day with his father yesterday.
Daniel continues to chatter on about what Griffin and he did as I get him ready to go over to Maria’s house. I have an afternoon shift at the diner. I’m happy that he had a good time, but my stomach is uneasy. Daniel is already getting attached to Griffin, and I still don’t know how everything’s going to work sharing custody.
After I help Daniel with his shoes, we’re out the door and across the yard to Maria’s. When she opens to my knock it’s with a big smile, and Daniel runs into her arms.
“I missed you,” she says.
“I went to the park with mommy’s friend Griffin. It was so much fun.” He runs into the house, swinging his bag.
I step inside to talk to Maria. “How are you feeling today?”
“So much better, thank you. I hope yesterday wasn’t a huge hassle for you.”
“It wasn’t. It worked out.”
Her eyes twinkle with her matchmaking hopes. She’s been trying to get me to date for years. “Who’s Griffin?”
“Griffin Talbot. Remember him? He used to live in Heartland. We went to school together.”
“Oh, my,” she teases. “He’s a famous musician.”
I chuckle at her. “Yeah, he’s pretty famous.”
“What’s he doing back in Heartland?”
I glance at Daniel, who is in the process of taking his trucks out of the bag. I think about how my life had routine before Griffin came back, and a part of me wishes he hadn’t disrupted what we had. What I knew. “Not sure.”
She touches my arm. “Everything all right, dear?”
I nod and force a smile. “Yeah. Thanks for taking him again, Maria. I really appreciate it.”
“I’m happy to do it. I know how hard it is to juggle everything. You’re doing great Mandy.”
She was a single mom too, and I know she gets it. I give her a big hug before I go. On my ride to work I focus on the good people in my life who help make things easier. I even walk through the door to work in a decent mood. That is, until I see who is sitting in what must be his favorite booth. I scowl as I wonder if Griffin’s here to see me. He can’t keep disrupting my work life.
Before I clock in, I march over to the table to talk to him. I need to get this sorted before he ruins my entire day. “You said you would call.” I can’t keep the bite out of my voice.
“I thought in person would be better.”
“Make it quick,” I say. “I haven’t punched in yet.”
“I want to be in Daniel’s life. I want to work out some kind of temporary custody arrangement until we can come up with a long-term solution.”
My stomach churns. The phrase ‘long-term solution’ makes me imagine his lawyers handing me official documents outlining how I should raise my kid. I frown thinking I might have to prepare for a fight. “Okay,” I say. “If you want to see him you can start by taking care of him while I’m working.”
He nods. “That’s fine to start, but I’m going to want to spend more than a just a few hours with my son every day.”
“Well my shifts are usually seven or eight hours, so that’s more than just a few hours. There’s kindergarten drop off and pick up, lunch. He likes a nap in the afternoon.”
“I’m pretty sure I can manage.”
I refrain from listing off all the things he’ll need to do while watching my—our son. I know it’s his right to be in Daniel’s life, but I still don’t know how responsible Griffin is day-to-day. Twelve years ago, I’d have trusted him completely, but now? I guess there’s only one way to find out. I sure won’t be letting go of Maria any time soon, though.
“Do you work tomorrow?” he asks.
I nod. “Eight until around four.”
I watch to see if he’ll wince at the early hour. From what I recall, he wasn’t a morning person. But he replies without missing a beat. “You can drop him off at my place before you go to work, and I’ll watch him.”
I hate this. But I know it’s something I need to do. I have to remain civil if I think we have any chance of making a joint custody arrangement work. And Griffin is his father. He deserves to know his son the way Daniel deserves to know him.
“Fine. But I don’t want to confuse Daniel until we work things out. I don’t want you to tell him you’re his father yet. I think it’s something we should do together.”
I’m nervous as Griffin studies me, because for a moment I think he’s going to disagree with my terms, but then he nods. “I’ll wait… for now. But eventually we’re going to have to tell him. And I’d rather it be sooner than later. I’ve already missed five years, Mandy. I don’t want to miss any more.”
Anger spikes in me, but I push it down. “Okay.” Griffin stands, and I say, “From now on, please call me if you want to talk about Daniel. This is my workplace. I don’t need the distraction of you being here.”
His gaze is direct, and the anger I expected to see doesn’t seem to be there. It as if he’s… being cooperative. Maybe. Or is it something else? His expression confuses me, and after a few awkward seconds he offers a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
As soon as he’s gone, I release the breath I was holding. That went better than I could have expected. I go to the kitchen to get ready to start my shift. When I return to the dining room, Jane is at the breakfast counter, and she lifts her coffee cup to me.
I grab the pot and walk over to top her off. She says, “I didn’t know you knew Griffin Talbot.”
“We went to school together.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Looked like your exchange went way beyond a couple of school chums.”
I sigh because she’s looking for some good gossip, but I’m not willing to give her any. “Is there something I can help you with, Mayor?”
“As a matter of fact, there is. I was hoping you could use your influence on Griffin to get him to commit to the charity fundraiser benefit I’m planning. It would be a huge boost to the town.”
“I’m not sure what I can do…”
“Oh, I don’t know. Going by the look he was giving you, I think you could probably talk him into doing all kinds of things.” She winks at me, and my stomach clenches in response before she pats my arm. “Just think about it.”
I groan on the inside. That woman will do anything to get her way. I leave her to her cronies and go over to wait on another customer. I didn’t want to say it, but Jane is dead wrong. The days I had any influence over Griffin Talbot are long gone.
Chapter 18
GRIFFIN
I wake with the sun, which is unusual for me, but I went to bed with a melody in my head. And it obviously percolated into much more because my brain got me up bright and early to go work on a song. I sit in the small hall closet I set up as my studio when I was a teenager, and I belt out the lyrics to a song about secrets, why people keep them, and why sometimes they should be kept.
I’m thinking about Mandy and how she must have felt when she found out she was pregnant after I’d kicked her to the curb without a backward glance. I tell her story. The one I didn’t want to see. The one I couldn’t see.
And then I work on a song about my story. A man who was too blind to see the best thing he’d ever held in his hand. I give the man hope, though. We all deserve a little of that.
The doorbell startles me, and I jump up to answer the door. It’s Mandy with Daniel, who leans against his mother’s leg, making me think he’s a little nervous. I want to tell him that I’m nervous too, but after reading a parenting book last night on my phone, I know that I’ve got to be brave for the kid. Like animals, kids can sense fear.
“Morning,” she says with a forced smile. I get it. She’s leaving her son with som
eone she thinks is the devil.
“Good morning.” I say with a big smile and open the door wide for them to come in.
I notice Daniel’s got a big bag. “What have you got there, bud?”
“My trucks and stuff.” The happy kid I saw yesterday is in hiding, and I think he needs some time to warm up to me again.
“Cool. You’ll have to show them to me. Any chance you’ve got a backhoe?”
Daniel gives me a hint of a smile. “Yep. I’ve got a dump truck, a cherry picker, and a front end loader too. He holds up a hand to his mouth as if he’s telling me a secret. “Mommy can’t tell the difference between the backhoe and the front end loader.”
Mandy chuckles in surprise and winks at me. “They’re kind of confusing.”
“They can be,” I say as seriously as I can. I gesture to the living room, which I cleaned as best as I could. “Come in and make yourself at home.”
Daniel walks into the room and gazes around all around at the walls and furniture.
“He’s had breakfast, eggs and toast.” She hands me a list. “I’ve written down all the foods he doesn’t like and the foods that give him an upset stomach. I’ve also listed all the TV programs he’s allowed to watch. No more than an hour a day, so use that wisely.”
I look at the list she hands me. It’s long. She adds, “I’ve also written down my phone number, which you should already have, the diner in case it’s an emergency, Maria, who is my neighbor and his usual babysitter, and his doctor’s number.”
Mandy giving me directions reminds me of when we were in high school. She has a mind for detail, and I’m sure she hasn’t forgotten anything. She was the prettiest girl in high school, but now she’s become genuinely beautiful.
I notice how her warm brown eyes are still bright, but fine lines surround them now, a testament to the struggles she’s been through as a single mother. She’s not the teenage girl I left behind, not even the woman I pushed away six years ago. No, she’s a mature, strong woman who has learned a lot of things about life.
Some might say she’s jaded, and I’ve given her a reason to be. But she’s resilient too. I think about the song I was writing earlier and realize it needs a follow up. I smile, because I’m going to have an entire album of new work before I even come close to processing my new normal.
She frowns at me. “Are you listening to me?”
“Yes. Yes of course. And if I missed something—” I lift the paper in my hand. “I bet it’s on here.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know. I’m a worrier. And…” She scans me with her gaze. “I’m not sure I trust you one hundred percent yet.”
“Fair enough. But he’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” I give her a reassuring smile. “I promise.” I know this is difficult for her, but this is a step we both need to take if I’m going to be in my son’s life.
She nods and then glances at Daniel, who’s humming to himself as he arranges his trucks on my floor. She lowers her voice. “Remember not to say anything.”
I know what she means—don’t tell Daniel that I’m his father. “I remember what we talked about. Don’t worry.” I know it’s not the right time anyway. It’s only our first full day together, I don’t want to scare the kid or put any unnecessary stress and pressure on him. Today is about getting to know each other and proving to Mandy that I am more than capable of taking care of our son.
“Besides, I’ve never broken a promise to you.”
She laughs sharply. “You’ve been telling interviewers what they want to hear for so long you’re beginning to believe the stuff that comes out of your mouth.”
I frown, unsure of what she means. But before I can question her, she goes into the living room and kisses and hugs Daniel. “Be good for Griffin, and I’ll see you after work. If you need me for anything, you ask Griffin to call me. Okay?”
Daniel nods. “Okay, Mommy. Love you.”
“Love you too, honey.”
She gives me one last look that has judgement written all over it. “I’ll be here to pick him up at four o’clock.”
“Noted. Have a good day at work.”
She walks out the door with another stern glance over her shoulder as if I’m her child she’s worried will get in trouble, and I turn to Daniel. “Okay, bud, let’s see those trucks of yours.”
After he shows me all his toy trucks, which all have names like Digger and Lofty, we play a bit in the living room, digging up Legos from the ground and moving them around to new locations.
Later, I show Daniel around the house and my makeshift studio. I let him hold my guitar. Part of me hopes he’s got musical talent, but he’s not the least bit impressed with my instrument and quickly gives it back.
“Want to hear one of my songs?” I ask.
He shrugs, so I strum my guitar and begin to sing one of my biggest hits. I’m not even through the first few lines before I see him squirm with boredom. I laugh at myself. “Not a fan of me, are you?”
“Do you know the chicken song?” he asks.
“Chicken song?”
Daniel nods and then begins to sing. Badly, but with as much heart as I do. I try to sing along, and he stops me. “No. Listen first, okay?”
I suck in my lips from the scolding and wait patiently for him to let me know when I can sing too. I finally do learn the song, but in less than an hour my son has made it clear my musical talent isn’t all that great as far as he’s concerned.
It’s refreshing. I’ve had twelve years of everyone telling me how amazing and talented I am, and my kid thinks I’m nothing special because my chicken squawk isn’t as good at Miss Andrews’, the teacher I think he has a huge crush on.
After a couple of hours of being in the house, I’m anxious to get outside and figure Daniel must be too. I ask, “Have you ever been fishing?”
His eyes, so much like mine, widen. “No, sir.”
“Do you want to go?”
His little face glows with excitement. “Yes!”
Since the fishing idea just came to me, it takes a while for me to find everything we need. On the back porch, I show Daniel how to hook his line and make sure he’s careful of the sharp tip. Then we head to the hardware store for bait. I let him hold the container of worms as I drive us to the spot my father used to take me. I have a feeling a few worms will be set free in my back seat, but it’s a small price to pay.
As we walk along the dirt path to the pond, I recall doing the same with my dad and I have the urge to call him to tell him I have a son. I know I can’t, but it’ll be one of the first things I do when Mandy gives me the go-ahead.
The fishing rods rattle in my hand as I tug a branch back for Daniel to pass, and he asks, “Griffin, where do worms live?”
“In the ground, bud.”
“Do worms have Mommies and Daddies?”
“They do.”
He scrambles over a log. “Brothers and sisters?”
“Yup. Those too.”
“Do you think they know fish are going to eat them?”
“No. And when a fish does eat them, I don’t think it hurts.”
We’ve reached my fishing spot, and I set our things down with a thud as he says, “That’s ‘cause fish don’t have teeth.”
I smile at him. “Makes sense.”
“What do you think they taste like?”
“Worms?” I eye him with the hope he doesn’t feel the need to eat one. “Yucky. We won’t be trying them. Got it?”
He scrunches up his face and giggles, making me think he’s imagining a slimy worm squirming on his tongue. I shake my head. This kid. I hardly even know him, but I’m in love with him already.
I help him get his rod ready and put the bait on for him, and then I show him how to cast, just like my dad showed me. It takes him a few times to get it, but then he lets the line soar out into the water with a deft hand. After about five minutes, he gets a nibble on his line.
Excited, he turns to me. “I got one! I got a fish!”
&
nbsp; He drops his rod in the water before I help him with it. And we’re both laughing when I finally manage to reel in the line. After all that trouble, the fish he caught is tiny. I should probably throw it back because it’s certainly not one we’d ever eat, but it makes Daniel so happy I’m tempted not to. I say, “He’s a baby. Do you think we should toss him back so his Mommy doesn’t miss him?”
Daniel nods. “Mommies get really upset when they lose their kid.”
I chuckle as I wonder if Mandy ever lost him for a moment in a store. “That they do.”
We fish for a little while longer, and then I suggest we eat the lunch I packed. As Daniel munches on his turkey sandwich, with no mayo but mustard and the crust cut off, he says, “Fishing is fun. I wish you were my dad, so we could do fun stuff all the time.”
My heart stops beating for a moment as emotions overwhelm me. I’m not sure how to respond. I want to tell him I’ll be around for rest of his life because I’m his father, but I promised Mandy I wouldn’t say anything. And I won’t.
“Don’t you do fun things with Maria?”
“She’s too old to do fun stuff.”
“I’m sure you do lots of fun things with your mom.”
He shrugs. “She’s always working. Or her feet hurt.”
Guilt burns in me. I have the means to make Mandy’s life so much easier, and I have for a while. I wish I’d known so I could have helped her out. “Yeah, your mom works really hard to give you a good life, bud, that’s why she’s so tired.”
He nods sheepishly. “I know.”
“But you know, I’m around. We can do all kinds of stuff together.”
“Really?”
I ruffle his hair, just like I’ve seen Mandy do. “Yeah, for sure.”
I’m not sure if promising him that is the right thing to do at this point, but I don’t care. This is my son, and I want everything for him. Mandy might be mad, but I figure she’s just going to have to deal with it. She’s not in charge of the situation anymore.
Chapter 19
MANDY