by Kitty Berry
Courtney takes advantage of her sisters’ date with Christopher and Michael and uses it to make me insane.
Courtney stops by my place where I’m busy working on my secret research into both men. She raps on the door and flies through it without waiting for me to answer. “I could have been jacking off on the couch,” I state. “Why are you flying in here like you have a fire in your pants?” I ask as I shut my laptop so she can’t see what I’m doing.
“The jerking off would be understandable. Jordan told me about the Fourth. Wow, you must have really worked yourself over that night.”
I glare at her. I wanted to. Trust me, I needed to and should have, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. For the first time in my life, jerking off seemed empty and useless. Sure, it would’ve provided me with the momentary relief of emptying my balls that felt as heavy as bowling balls, but I knew that once I came, the loneliness would only be that much sharper and I couldn’t handle that after watching Jordan bat her eyes at Christopher and agree to go to dinner with him.
I shrug. “Whatever. Are you here for a reason or just checking in on the pathetic state of my balls?”
“Oh, I almost forgot,” she states as she wipes at her mouth. “Colleen has some of the best desserts with her teas. I can’t believe Olivia hasn’t had any formal training. I told Elliot he should hire her to be his dessert chef.”
I nod. Olivia Lancaster is a master of sinful confections. Then I wait for Courtney to remember why she’s standing in my apartment.
“Oh…yeah. Um, you need to get your head out of your ass. Elliot and I need Jordan out of the house now that Jenny is leaving for school.”
“Okay. And what do you want me to do about that? She’ll barely look at me. When she does speak to me, it’s usually to tell me what a great time she had with her new boyfriend.”
“He’s not her boyfriend. She’s using Christopher to make you insane.” She chuckles. “And it’s working perfectly. It’s been super fun watching you lose your shit, but now we need her out. Elliot and I want to rent out the rooms for the fall. Tourists want to come see the foliage and what all the hype is about in the small town.”
“I thought she’d be going back to school in the city? She’s scheduled to graduate soon; she can’t fuck that up because she doesn’t want to live in New York.”
“She’s not. She’s got an independent study thing or something she’s been working on, then she starts her internship with Dr. Hughes.”
I choke on air. “Wh-What?” I sputter.
Courtney shrugs. “I don’t know. She’s doing a placement with him here while she tries to find one for next semester.”
This is too much to handle. I can’t have her sitting in a chair taking notes in another fucking book while I spill my feelings of inadequacies to the doctor and try to come up with a way to get her back. Fuck, why didn’t he tell me she was going to be working with him?
I run a frustrated hand through my hair. “I don’t know what you want me to do. It’s not like she’ll agree to come and live here. Maybe you should ask Christopher to take her in. Or are he and Michael never finding a place of their own?”
“Um…they’re leaving in a week. The construction on their store starts on Monday and they each bought into the building above it. Those lofts are going to triple in price once the revitalization is complete.”
“Good for them. I’m sure Jordan will have a great time decorating and playing house with the asshole.”
“She’s not with him, Cal. Aren’t you listening to me? God, you remind me of me when Elliot pulled his disappearing act which reminds me, I owe him shit for that. We try to only make him repent for those actions once every few months. He’s due.”
“We?”
“Yeah, me, but this is about you,” she states then brings on the whine. “Get my sister out of my house. Please. You’re meant to be together and she’s moping around and acting all difficult now. She was fun when it first started. You know, throwing your shit into the flames and making a voodoo doll of you. By the way, did your dick ever feel all twisted up? She said she made the doll to size,” Courtney looks at my crotch. “and I had to agree. But when she took that doll’s dick by the hand and swung him…”
I cringe. “That’s enough,” I demand. “You women are fucking nuts. She really made a doll of me and gave it a big dick?”
“You’re hung, Cal. Good for you, moving on. Get. Jordan. Out. Of. My. House.”
I heave in a deep breath and try to think of a way to make this situation work to my advantage. Jordan has obviously worn out her welcome at the B and B or maybe Courtney is just throwing me a bone. Either way, I couldn’t care less if it means having Jordan in my life and in my bed again. “Okay,” I agree. “I’ll think of something. But she really isn’t with Christopher? What about the other two?”
Courtney sends me a strange glance before she laughs. “Definitely not with Brandon or Nick.” Courtney kisses my cheek, and before she leaves, she turns around and says, “I know you’re in love with her and made a stupid mistake because that seems to be what you men tend to do. I know she loves you too. Give her time and maybe a reason to remember that.”
I nod and smile at my once sexual partner and now closest female friend. Before Courtney, I never saw the reason to have a friend with a vagina. To me, they served one purpose and one purpose only. Now, I see things much differently. I don’t know what I’d do without her friendship, I’ve missed our time together since Jordan and I broke up because Courtney had to show her loyalty to her sister. It feels good to have her back in my court.
“Thanks, Court. I’ll do that.”
But I have no idea what to do or where to start. That’s when the mail carrier knocks on my door with a package I ordered, and an idea sparks in my head. I probably should have known better than to follow it, I should have checked with Elliot or Courtney, but my impulsivity is at an all-time high since Courtney’s visit, and I acted before thinking. Again.
I park in the driveway and look around to be sure no one has seen me. I’ve worked numerous covert missions and went undetected but here I am worrying over a small thing like a federal offense as I sneak down to the mailbox and pull out the loot inside.
Thankfully, neither Elliot nor Courtney can be bothered to get the mail, and Jordan has certainly been too preoccupied with the house guests to do it. I can’t very well stand on the side of the street and look through the various catalogs, magazines, and mail, so I hold it close to my chest and hightail it to the backyard.
When I hear Brandon and Nick, I turn every which way to find a place to hide. My eyes fall on the pool house and I scurry inside before the two men have a chance to see me. Unfortunately, they leave the slider open and Beast strolls out, yipping and yapping because he smells my fear. But the joke is on him because the door is closed and I’m safe on the other side.
Until I’m not.
Because Jenny must have installed a freaking doggie door upon her surprise return from campus with Beast in tow and now Beast is sitting at my feet growling at my calves.
“Want a treat?” I ask, and he quirks his head to the side and an ear perks up as if he needs me to repeat myself. “Treat. You want a treat?” I ask, and Beast stops growling long enough to bark at me.
The sound makes me jump, and the extra-long handled spoon in my pocket bangs into my dick and folds me in half. Once I recover, I yank the packet of peanut butter out of my pocket. As I’m looking down at the mutt waiting for his guilty pleasure, I see the mail I dropped. On the top is an envelope addressed to Jordan and it’s from NYU.
Throwing caution to the wind, I sit on the floor next to the dog and give him the full packet of peanut butter, sans spoon and rip open the envelope while he shoves his snout into the creamy goodness.
I read the letter then read it again because I can’t believe what I’m looking at.
Her professor, the chair of the Computational Cognitive Science department, wrote her a formal letter
to inquire about the case study she submitted. There aren’t many details in the letter, it says it’s a follow-up to their email, but it does indicate that it’s about a man in his mid to late twenties who, among other things, has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, control issues, struggles socially, and lacks good decision-making skills when it comes to relationships. So, pretty much, me.
I look down at the dog and start to understand him better. No one had wanted him either. He’d been left alone and was scared and scrounging for food and survival when Jenny happened upon him. Maybe he really wasn’t trying to kill me and did only want my attention.
I huff and pull his little body into my lap and rub his soft fur. He’s not all bad. He smells okay now that Jenny gives him daily baths with scented bubbles and brushes his teeth after every meal. Right now, as he breathes heavily and shakes his tail, I smile at the whiff of peanut butter coming from his mouth. She’ll know who he’s been with the minute she smells his breath.
Before I have the chance to hide the mail under my arm and carry Beast into the house, we’re caught red handed when Jenny opens the door, her hand going to her heart when she finds her puppy safe and sound on my lap taking his afternoon nap. “Oh, my God! Thank God you’re safe,” she screeches. “What would mommy do without her baby?”
“Hey, Jenny,” I say. “I heard you were here. What happened at school?”
“Caren with a C Booker from Connecticut is what happened. That little bitch snitched on us to residential life and got us evicted.”
I raise an eyebrow. Courtney and Elliot were trying to get rid of their relatives, not acquire more. “And you’re staying here again? With Jordan?”
“I don’t know. For now, I guess, but Courtney and Elliot flipped out on me last night. Courtney even called Joey and got him on my ass. I hate being the baby in this family. They all think they’re the boss of me.”
Before I can respond, I’m cut off by Jenny’s hand raising her phone to see who is calling. “Hold on, Cal, it’s my brother probably calling to scold me for the message I just left him.”
Jenny huffs when she notices that Beast hasn’t jumped from my lap to leap into her arms as she’s heading for the door to take her call in private. He hasn’t even budged an inch, and I haven’t stopped stroking him. I continue to rub his soft fur until the door opens once again and in strolls Jenny, looking happier than when she exited.
“Hey.” She smiles. “You’re touching him. Did you guys kiss and make up?”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I chuckle. “I’m not letting him lick my face anytime soon, but he’s pretty okay. I think I get him now.”
“That’s more than I can say about my siblings and me.”
I quirk my head to the side and frown. “Your siblings love you. What’s this all about?”
Jenny explains that she left school and wants to remain in Falls Village, where she’s planning on repairing the dilapidated animal rescue for other mutts like Beast.
She also met a guy.
And I had to withstand the story of their meeting.
“Beast and I were in Alexander Hardware when I heard a deep voice say, “Aw, you’re a friendly little guy, aren’t you?” Jenny reported.
“Was it a child?” I asked. - “I thought parents were told not to let their small children touch strange animals. I asked because I had assumed it was a child speaking to the mutt. But apparently, it was the guy she’d met. I think it was a legitimate question - Who else would speak to an animal like that?
I was told a gorgeous, dark-haired guy in a tight, dark navy-blue T-shirt would. He’s also most likely a douchebag because after finding out the mutt’s name is Beast, he proceeded to nickname Jenny, Beauty.
“This asshole have a name?” I asked.
“Lucas Hart.” She swooned, and I gagged, almost threw up a little in my mouth.
Anyway, love affairs aside, Jenny was able to convince her brother, Joey, to provide her with some of the funds necessary to begin the revitalization of The Perfect Pet Shelter, but she’s now at a loss for where the rest of the funds are going to come from.
As a thought enters my head, I can’t believe I’m about to do what I am, but this mangy mongrel is the only one who understands me right now and I can’t picture him scared and alone in a cold shelter without enough food or water.
No one will have to know that the rest of the funds come from my bank account. I’ll make a secret donation in Beast’s name.
While I’m running this plan through my mind, Jenny catches sight of the mail thrown around me and a sad expression covers her face. “Oh, Callan.” She sighs.
“I-I-I just wanted to see if I could figure out what she has going on with school and how much time she’ll be here. I need to figure out how to get her back. I thought if I knew how long I had to make that happen, I could formulate a solid plan of action. And that fucking notebook is driving me insane.”
Something, an expression of guilt maybe, crosses her face and I know that notebook is definitely about me and not only that, everyone else knows what’s inside.
“I should probably go. Can we, um, can we keep this between us?”
“Sure.” She smiles. “And if you ever want to take him for a walk or whatever, you know, he’s a great listener.”
I nod as I stand and hand her the dog. I pat his head one last time and sneak out the way I came.
Brandon and Nick are on the patio sitting closer than seems normal for two dudes hanging out. I overhear a portion of their conversation as I sneak past without them seeing me.
“We could take a drive up north and see the foliage,” Brandon suggests.
The leaves? Why would anyone want to spend time looking at the leaves?
“I’m in if we can pick apples, too,” Nick states.
Ah…okay. I mean, Elliot likes to get the freshest apples he can when making pies with Olivia. Thankfully, he now has a baking apprentice with him. After last year’s pie incident, we don’t like to leave him alone with the baked goods. One never knows when he’ll decide to mount and fuck one again. Sure, it had been at a time when Courtney was making his balls bluer than mine, but still. Fucking an apple pie on the counter on Thanksgiving Day was sacrilegious.
Knowing I have bigger problems than Elliot fucking pies and Brandon and Nick acting like a couple in love, I send Dr. Hughes a text and ask if I can swing by his office.
Dr. Hughes and I have a long conversation about the approaching holidays and it being a difficult time of year for many, a time when lots of people feel isolated and alone. I tell him it’s more than just that. It’s this thing with Jordan.
I either need to find a way to fix us or I need to walk away. I can’t continue driving myself insane over what she’s writing about me in that fucking book or if she’s sleeping with the men at the bed-and-breakfast.
He won’t tell me what Jordan is up to but does admit that she’s going to begin an internship with him after the holidays and suggests that I might be more comfortable speaking to one of his colleagues in Waterland Isle.
“Sure,” I say. “I’ll look into it.”
“Callan,” he huffs. “I think you should take Jordan away someplace. Did you and she ever take a trip and have a good time? You know, make any lasting memories that you can use to remind her it could be good between you two again?”
I shrug. I’ll have to think about that. We’d gone a few places. We spent time at the B and B with her sisters and my best friends. Those times had been fun, but they were things we did in a group. Then it hits me.
Christmas Land.
I’ll take Jordan to Christmas Land for the holidays and we can be alone, and I’ll show her I can be romantic. She had gushed over how romantic the place was when we were there last time. There were so many things to do that we hadn’t had a chance to experience them all. I remember her saying something about the midnight sleigh ride through the snow and a huge smile spreads across my face.
“You think of something?”
/>
“Yeah,” I state. “Now I just need to figure out a way to get her to come with me.”
Chapter Nine
“I don’t know how you pulled this vacation off,” Ace says. “My wife is pissed because it’s Oliver’s first Christmas.”
“He’s an infant and has no idea about Christmas or anything, quite frankly,” I remind my best friend. “I need this, Ace.”
And I do need this trip. I need it to work and get Jordan back in my life, back as my girlfriend.
My parents hadn’t been anymore pleased that I wouldn’t be heading home for the holidays either. My sister could blow the family off without complaint, though, because she claimed she had a modeling gig on some far-off island. What she really has is an oversized bag filled with the ABCs of young girl life: alcohol, bikinis, and condoms. But I left it alone and took the usual hit from my father and let him complain about the meaning of family and the joy of the season and how I was ungrateful for my privileged upbringing. No one could rewrite history better than that man. I grew up an army brat, not a rich kid with a silver spoon in my mouth, for Christ’s sake.
“He forged an email because he’s a genius and has way too much time on his hands and shit at his disposal and she fell for it,” Elliot tattles on me.
“What?” Ace laughs. “Jesus, you’ll never stop and just tell her how you feel and ask her to spend the weekend with you, huh?”
“I told her how I feel over the summer. Remember how that ended?”
It had ended with Jordan hooking up with at least one, if not two or…four of the men that were staying at the B and B and throwing it in my face at every change she got.
Late night dinners that they’d return from, drunk and laughing while I sat waiting in the living room, boat rides around the marina and lighthouse, heading into town for ice cream or stopping at Colleen’s, where she knew I’d be, to have fudge while flirting. It was all too much to bear at one time. I couldn’t do it again.