by Wilde, Kati
He shrugs. “Take her to bed, make her come so many times she has no choice but to fall in love with me, then have you turn her into a werewolf.”
Because bears can’t curse someone with a bite. Only wolves. “So you’d do the same damn thing.”
“Nah. I’d make my woman come a hell of a lot harder than you ever could.” Yawning, he closes his eyes and leans back against the headrest. “I can’t believe you lied about that pot of honey.”
“I can’t believe you’re on fucking Instagram.”
“Only because they’ve got photo feeds devoted to chunky little puppies. And it doesn’t matter how shitty a day has been, those chunky little puppies remind you why life is worth living.” He’s quiet for a minute. “When did you say we were leaving?”
“In a week.” Not that long.
And a damn eternity.
3
Alicia
The sun’s only been up for twenty or thirty minutes when my sister finds me crouching beside a stream. “You didn’t get as far this time,” Sam says quietly.
My throat a tight knot, I only nod and continue washing my skin with the icy water. I woke up covered in blood, naked except for the tracking device Sam locks around my ankle every full moon.
With a heavy sigh, she sits on a nearby log, wearing the same hiking boots, jeans, and hoodie that I last saw her in. She’s been following behind me all night in her truck…and at a safe distance.
“What was it?” I whisper, my voice raw with fear.
“Elk,” she says.
Tears of sheer relief spring to my eyes, but terror still lingers just beneath. So far, the beast has stayed away from people and hasn’t hurt anyone. But I don’t know if the beast avoids them on purpose or if I’ve just been lucky.
Sam digs into her backpack, pulls out a towel and tosses it to me. “I brought sandwiches.”
“I’m not hungry.”
A short laugh escapes her. “After seeing that elk, I’m not surprised.”
“Don’t tell me.”
“I won’t.” She watches me towel off, then drags the elastic off the end of her dark brown braid and shoots it in my direction. “You’re not going to get that gunk out of your hair without a shower, so just pull it back.”
Nodding, I use my fingers as a comb to scrape together a messy ponytail, then pull on the leggings she brought me. “Where are we?”
“Not far from Pendleton.”
Surprise stops me with my hands down the sleeves of a sweatshirt. Only as far as Pendleton? That’s less than sixty miles from our house. When Sam said I didn’t get as far this time, I thought she meant I didn’t cross the Canadian border. “Really?”
“You’re here for the second time,” she adds. “You made a big loop. Pendleton to La Grande, then back to Pendleton. And you spent a long time circling each city and…I don’t know. Searching.”
“Oh.” Stomach sinking, I finish dragging the sweatshirt over my head. “Shit.”
“You know what you were looking for?” She holds out a pair of tennis shoes. “You want to share with the class?”
Heart aching, I tell her, “Ranger said he’d be in my neck of the woods. But I didn’t let him tell me exactly where.”
Yet there are only two cities in this region big enough to host a conference. Unless he’s at a lodge somewhere in between. But yesterday, I was thinking that he must be near, and wondering where he might be.
Obviously the beast knows what I know. But I don’t know what Ranger smells like, so the beast couldn’t find him.
“Oh, damn.” Sam blows out a breath, drags her hands through her loose hair. “So every time you went north before, you really were going after him.”
Not me. The monster. But I don’t know if it’s a distinction that matters, because I want Ranger, too. And I suspected before that he might be the reason the beast always went north, but I wasn’t certain. It was just a feeling.
Now I’m sure. And after we meet, I’ll know Ranger’s scent. So the only way he’ll ever be safe again is if I’m far enough away from him.
Tears blur my vision and I close my eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t see him tonight.”
That Sam doesn’t immediately tell me I should—or make a joke about how I always find reasons to push people away—means that she’s not too certain, either. Even though all this week, she’s been my number one cheerleader whenever the inevitable doubts slipped in.
“How are you feeling now?” she asks.
“Exhausted.” Just as I always am the day after a full moon. Usually I completely crash and sleep for about twenty-four hours.
Which I probably should have thought about before making a date for Saturday. And is just another reason to cancel.
“But is there any— Grrr.” She makes claws of her fingers. “Any of that?”
I shake my head.
“Then I think you should go.” Coming closer, she catches my face in her hands. “Do this for yourself. Because God knows, you need something good—then he’ll be gone, safely away again. And I’m on duty tonight, but I’ll be there in two seconds if anything goes wrong. You just call.”
Breath shuddering, I pull her in for a hug. “Thank you.”
“I’m just trying to pay you back for all the times you covered for me in high school, and didn’t tell mom I’d been sneaking out and drinking all night.”
I laugh. “Cleaning up after a werewolf’s night out is above and beyond holding your sister’s hair while she pukes.”
“Pfft. In six months, you’ve produced less roadkill than a single night on the highway,” she tells me, gathering up her backpack and preparing to hike out to wherever she left her truck. “But if you ever do more, I know all the best ways to hide a body.”
“That’s not as comforting as you probably think.”
“Maybe not.” Her face clouds. “But spending Christmas in Aspen was my idea, so I should at least—”
My snarl cuts her off.
She goes still. “Was that you or…?”
“Me. Because you shouldn’t ever think that.”
“Yeah, well—you’re my little sister, and I’m a cop. Both things mean I should have protected you. So I’ll feel shitty about it whether you give me permission or not.”
“So you’ll feel shitty, I’ll feel shitty…maybe I should call up Mom, so she can feel shitty, too.”
“Was that a threat?” She stops dead, staring at me. “Did you just threaten me with our mother?”
“I’ll tell her you’re feeling guilty about something, and she’ll come flying back from Florida to pull us into her warm bosom of motherly—”
“Okay! I won’t feel guilty! Holy shit, you went straight for the nuclear option.”
“Because that’s what your guilt deserved.” Total annihilation. To nuke it from space. And our mother’s the only way to be sure. Because she’s wonderful but she’s also relentlessly sunny, and determined to fix everything that’s dark or broken.
Some things can’t be fixed, though. And I’m one of those things.
But Sam’s right. I do need something for myself. So I’ll spend a few days with Ranger. And I will control this monster. This time with him is for me. Not the beast.
Even though the difference between us seems to grow thinner and thinner. And my greatest fear is that, all too soon, there will be no difference between us at all.
* * *
I wake up in my sister’s truck with Sam shaking my shoulder.
“We’re home.”
At the farmhouse we share at the edge of town. It’s not much of a farm now—just a big overgrown field and an old barn—and has been like this as long as I can remember. Back when her dad was alive, Sam says they used to have goats and chickens. But there weren’t any animals around except for a few stray cats by the time I came to live with her and her mom. Our mom, because Carolyn Green was more of a mother to me than mine ever was.
Mom continued living here when Sam went to college, then when I did.
After we each graduated and returned to start our careers, we moved back into the farmhouse…and Mom moved out two summers ago, after falling in love with a rich retiree from Florida who was on a golfing tour in Oregon. She’s in the Keys now, living her best life.
And I’m glad. Glad she’s happy, and glad she’s not here to see me stumble groggily out of the truck, with elk blood saturating my hair.
Sam swings the driver door shut. “You okay?”
Yawning, I nod…then go still, the hairs prickling on the back of my neck. Turning my head, I draw a deep breath through my nose.
“Alicia?” Up on the porch, Sam realizes that I’m still standing beside the truck. “What is it?”
“I don’t know. I caught a whiff of…something.” Something that makes me wary and restless. But I’m not good with odors yet. I can identify some people that way—Sam, she’s easy. The other teachers and most of my students. Everything else seems to smell the same as it did before. Just stronger. And there’s a lot of stuff I don’t recognize.
Like who knows what a cougar smells like? I didn’t until one crossed our field a few weeks ago. And the scent was only vaguely cat-like. But I didn’t know what a cat smelled like, either, before this winter.
This scent I’m picking up now is…weird. And exciting. And scary. And new, yet also seems as if it should be familiar, but I can’t place it. Like a word caught on the tip of my tongue, a word that I know, but for the life of me I can’t remember it.
I’m just too tired. Shaking my head, I trudge up the steps. Inside the house, most of the odors from outside vanish and the restlessness within me vanishes with it. All that’s left in my mind are thoughts of Ranger—of seeing him later today—as I set my alarm and fall facedown into bed.
Seconds later, I’m out.
4
Alicia
When the alarm starts beeping at five p.m., dragging myself out of a dead sleep isn’t as hard as I think it’ll be. Anticipation overrides my lingering exhaustion when I reach for my phone. A message has been waiting since nine o’clock this morning.
Ranger: Columbia Inn.
My heart lurches and I shoot up to sitting, clutching the device. Columbia Inn? That’s not a hotel chain. That’s local.
He’s staying in town. Not Pendleton, not La Grande. Here.
Without thinking, I scramble out of bed and head for the door—and my only thought is getting to him. Seeing him. I’m at the top of the stairs before my brain clears. I’ve got dried elk blood clumping my hair. My feet are filthy, and my quick bath in the stream didn’t clean up everything. I’m a complete mess.
I can’t go to Ranger like this.
Coming to a halt, I pull in a deep, steadying breath. Another. Then text him back.
Alicia: 6pm in the bar okay?
I barely make it down the hall and into the bathroom before his response comes in.
Ranger: Yeah. Aside from one hour being too fucking far away.
Alicia: I’ll make the wait worth it.
Ranger: Seeing you will make this whole damn year worth it.
Not sex with me. But simply seeing me.
Happiness bubbles up in my chest. In the shower, I can’t stop smiling, though usually the sight of blood and dirt swirling down the drain fills me with despair. Today, I don’t care.
And I’m especially thrilled to see that the money I spent at a salon this week wasn’t wasted after a night of werewolfing. I had nearly every part of my body waxed, and I wasn’t sure if it would grow back. But I’m smooth and sleek and feeling deliciously naughty as I finish up in the bathroom and head for my closet.
Because I’m going to see him soon. There’s no long drive ahead. It’ll only take me a few minutes to reach him. Because he’s right here.
In town.
I falter a little then. Because when I shopped for something to wear tonight, I assumed we’d meet in a bigger city, where no one knew me. But everyone knows me at the Columbia. The first floor of the inn doubles as a restaurant, a bar and grill where Sam and I are regulars. And it’s Saturday night. A busy night.
I don’t care if everyone in town sees me with Ranger. I don’t care if they see my overnight bag and know exactly what I’m doing. But the way I want to look for him isn’t at all how they’re used to seeing Miss Simmons, science teacher. And it’s entirely different from what they used to see in Alicia, the shy and nerdy girl that many of them knew and mocked in high school.
This part of myself that I want to show to Ranger…they’ll see it, too. They’ll have more of me than I wanted to give before. And that makes me feel vulnerable in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time.
But I’m not vulnerable. And I’m not going let old insecurities force me into hiding. Not with Ranger.
And, heck. If I’m showing parts of myself that I haven’t exposed before, then they’re lucky to get sexy Alicia—and not the beast.
Who is along for the ride as I drive into town. The monster inside me isn’t nearly as quiet as it usually is following the full moon, but it feels exactly the same way I do. Excited. Nervous. And so, so aroused.
Until I park in the hotel lot and breathe in that odor again, and I’m filled with a confusion and restlessness that’s not my own. The scent I caught a whiff of earlier is so much stronger here—and not just one, but two distinct threads that are similar to each other but also different. All at once the beast is wary, uncertain.
But I’m not. I don’t care what the scent is. I just want Ranger.
Carrying my small tote, I stride toward the entrance, my tall heels clipping along the pavement. A few groups of diners are milling around outside while waiting for a table, and the noise coming from inside the restaurant is a cacophony of conversations and clattering dishes and country music. Yet amid all that chaotic sound, I so easily pick up a deep, smoky voice.
“…course I noticed. I can’t breathe without noticing. But I’m not hunting for it tonight. After waiting here all goddamn day, you think I’ll take off now, when Alicia’s on her way?”
It’s harder to pinpoint who Ranger’s talking to, whether it’s someone with him or if he’s on the phone. Until another man says my name, a rumbling voice that I don’t know, catching my attention in time to hear “—strongest near the middle school.”
“Fuck.” Frustration deepens Ranger’s voice. “All right. First thing tomorrow. We’ll track it down and find out if—”
I step into the restaurant and instantly spot Ranger at the bar, positioned so he’s facing the entrance. Oh my god, and he wasn’t kidding. He is big. Huge. And he’s staring at me, expression abruptly hard and hungry and feral.
“Holy fucking shit,” says the rumbling voice, and dimly I’m aware of another big man beside him. “That answers the question of who it is.”
“Answers a truckload of questions,” Ranger growls at him before pushing away from the bar. He prowls toward me, my nipples tightening and arousal curling low in my belly with his every stride closer. I’ve never seen him in anything but the Forest Service uniform of a khaki shirt and dark green cargo pants. Now he’s wearing a plain black T-shirt that hugs the massive expanse of his chest, and faded jeans that cling to the thick trunks of his thighs. Heavy boots complete it all but he’s so light on his feet that I can’t hear his steps over the thundering of my heart.
“Hello, Ranger Ranger,” I greet him breathlessly.
“Miss Simmons.” I thought his eyes were dark brown. Almost black. And they are, but now I spot the flecks of gold in his irises, like sparks through a night sky. His smoldering gaze runs from my head to my toes before he comes so close that all I can see is his rugged face looking down at me, all I can feel is the heat of his big body, all I can smell is…him.
Ranger is that strange, exciting smell. Oh, and the beast loves that—no longer wary and confused but unleashing another hot tide of lust within me, need so sharp it steals my breath and makes me ache, ache, ache.
I can’t stop the whimper that escapes my
lips. Because I want him. So much. So now.
“Fuck, baby. Look at you. So damn beautiful and so damn hot.” Voice rough and dark as charcoal, he grips the back of my neck—and yes, please, touch me taste me take me. I drop my bag and arch up toward him, fingers clawing at his shirt, but he doesn’t lower his head to kiss me. Instead his words are pitched to soothe as he says, “You and I obviously need to talk. But first we’ll go upstairs and take the edge off, yeah?”
“Yes.” My pulse throbs frantically between my legs. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“You want to meet my brother first?”
I shake my head and he laughs, then bends to sweep up my tote from the floor. Abruptly he stops, his face on level with my stomach, his nostrils flaring. Ravenous intent fills the gaze he lifts to mine.
“You wearing panties under that little dress?” His voice is so low, so gruff, but I hear him.
“No,” I whisper.
His teeth scrape over his bottom lip in the hungry way I’ve dreamed about from the first time I saw him do it. As if he wants to take a taste right here, in front of everyone. To just duck his head under my skirt and slick his tongue through all of the wetness gathering there.
And I’d let him.
Who am I kidding, let him? I’d lift up the hem of my dress and happily ride his beard. So much for my shy little pussy. Suddenly it’s dying to offer up dinner and a show.
My gaze holds Ranger’s as he slowly rises with my bag in hand, inhaling the entire way, as if breathing me in. The long fingers of his free hand tangle with mine, and he pivots toward the corridor connecting the restaurant to the inn. There’s an elevator with a young couple and a pair of preschool-aged kids waiting in front of the doors. Ranger doesn’t say a word as we join them, though I see him looking toward the stairs as if deciding whether that’ll be faster when the indicator dings.