by Wilde, Kati
Ah, hell. “Is that what happened to you?”
“Pretty much. Though throw in a crush, too.” She gives me a half-smile while shaking her head, as if a little embarrassed and disbelieving now of the girl she’d been. “It was the summer after my freshman year. Sam had softball practice, and she’d drop me off at the library pretty much every day on her way into town. Then I’d take my books over to the park and read until she was done. And also watch the boys play basketball.”
“The crush?” I ask with a rumble in my chest.
“Yep. Though he wasn’t playing. He’d broken his foot and was…” She rolls her eyes. “Looking for something to do. And there I was, with hearts in my eyes after the first word he said to me. Pretty much every day, he’d come over and talk, and soon I was trying to dress cuter and be less dorky. And he would compliment how I looked and said I was pretty…and I fell for it so easy. He didn’t trick me into anything sexual, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“What?” I snarl.
She grins at me. “You’re getting so tense. But it wasn’t like that. Or actually, it was. But not the same way. And maybe he was heading toward that, but I made the mistake of letting him take a few pictures of me. Not even naked pictures”—she says that hastily, maybe because I’m growling again—“but he came one day with this camera, and said he wanted to learn photography since he had nothing else to do that summer, and then said things like, ‘Oh, show me your sexy face. How you would look for our first kiss.’ So I rolled around in the grass in the park that day and felt so pretty and sexy. About two days later, Sam comes home with a black eye and a fat lip and a stack of pictures that she’d gone around collecting from his friends. But she didn’t get them all. And the one that got shared the most was my kissy face.”
She purses her lips for me now, exaggerating a wet kiss. And holy fuck, I’m hard in a second.
“That’s goddamn hot.”
A giggle shakes through her. “Okay, but also imagine these really thick glasses that make my eyes bug out. So…Alicia the Fish. And oh my god, it didn’t end. Not after the summer, not after school started—not after the next year, or the next. Every fucking day, practically. I’d find tuna cans in my locker, or someone would offer me their goldfish crackers or the fish sticks from the cafeteria. Even when the braces came off, and when Mom got me contact lenses, it didn’t matter. And Sam, she would go after anyone who messed with me, and ended up getting in so much trouble with the school. So many times, to the point where she was going to be expelled if she kept it up. Because they never went after the kids who were doing it, just her for reacting. So I stopped telling her when it happened. And I’m pretty sure that became part of the game for them…doing it behind her back. Then of course when she graduated, my senior year became a free-for-all.”
For a school full of bullies. “Sounds like a living hell.”
“It was. But I put my head down and told myself to get through it. To graduate, then I’m out of here. But even the graduation ceremony, god. I was valedictorian, so I gave a speech, and half the kids in my class thought it was real funny to put on these big, thick glasses with fake water and fish in the lenses.”
Christ. “That was the Carrie moment she was talking about?”
Alicia nods. “I mean, it wasn’t pig’s blood. But it was…” Her voice thickens. After a second, she continues, “I kept my focus on Mom and Sam in the audience and got through it. And of course college wasn’t so bad. Though I was…well, let’s just say that I didn’t trust people easily. So when someone showed interest, I’d start looking for what they weren’t telling me. Because I just knew they must be lying, or they had some other angle. Or waiting for them to humiliate me the second I tried to be sexy. So, yeah. That kind of suspicion doesn’t exactly go over well on first dates.”
I’m not sorry. I wish to hell she’d never experienced the hurt that caused it, but glad as fuck that she never let anyone else close enough to steal her heart. Or I wouldn’t be here now.
Though I don’t understand why she’s here. “Why the fuck did you come back to this town?”
“I wasn’t going to. I didn’t think Sam was ever going to, either. So when she applied with the county sheriff’s office, I asked her ‘What the hell are you thinking?’ And she said to me, ‘If I leave, then I can’t change anything here.’ She told me that I should go, though. Because the assholes are still here. Most of them. Not all of them are as bad now, but…well, you saw today. And Sam hated seeing me hurt.”
I hate seeing her hurt, too. “But you came back?”
“Because she was right.” Her voice hoarsens slightly. “And going away to college for a while did help. Meeting people who appreciated who I was—or who were more like me. So I was stronger, more sure of myself. And so I came back with one purpose: to make sure every kid that goes through my classes comes out a little kinder, a little more empathetic—and with a healthy respect for science and the idea that the world around them is bigger than they realize, and includes so many different things, and the way all those different things exist together is what makes it so amazing. So maybe fewer kids will have to go through what I did, and everyone ends up a little better than their parents were.”
And that would be her way of changing this town. “I knew you were smart, baby. I had no idea how fucking brave you are.”
I knew she was courageous, because to get through these past few months, she had to be. But she’s been brave for a hell of a lot longer than she’s been a werewolf.
Her eyes shimmer with tears again and she buries her face in my neck, holding me so tight. Her hot breath shudders against my skin, then she says in a wavering voice, “But I wonder if that’s what the problem is. That I’m not really brave. That I’m just…cowering inside while putting up a tough façade. And that’s why I can’t tame my beast.”
“Cowering? No.” Cradling her face in my hands, I make her look at me. “That’s not what I saw today. I saw a strong, brave woman protecting something vulnerable inside herself. And you know what this curse does, yeah? It rips you apart, separates you into the things you hide and the things you don’t. Some people, that means all the bad shit they’re careful to keep concealed. The kind of monstrous shit that makes them attack people and eat pieces of them. You, though…what you’ve kept hidden is this sexy, sweet part of you that got hurt so bad after you let one person see it, and he betrayed your trust and showed it to everyone else. And you didn’t always hide that part of you, because you showed it to me long before you were bit. You’ve been showing it to me ever since I got here. But I’m guessing that, especially with other people in this town, you’ve kept it pretty well under wraps. Yeah?”
She nods into my hands. “I do,” she whispers. “Though less so when I’m with you. Because I like the way you look at me…and I don’t notice other people looking when you’re around.”
“That’s not cowering, Alicia. That’s you choosing who to trust with this vulnerable part of yourself—because not everyone deserves it. Not everyone has earned it. Hell, I don’t know if I deserve it or if I’ve earned it. But I’m so fucking grateful that I’ve got it. Though you don’t have to dress a certain way with me. I’ll look at you like that no matter what you wear.”
“I know.” She gives me a watery smile. “But I like being more of my full self with you. And not hiding anything with you.”
Her full self. She probably doesn’t even realize how telling that is. With a sweep of my thumbs, I stroke the tears from her cheeks. “Maybe that’s what your beast is afraid of? That if you tame her and heal the rift that the curse tore between you, that part of you will be exposed and hurt?”
“I don’t know.” A breathy little sob escapes her. “Maybe.”
“Then she needs to know that you’ll keep on protecting her. That you’ll never have to expose that part of yourself to anyone if you don’t want to. That if you do show it—like you’ve done with me—it’s only because you’ve made a choice to sh
are yourself. And that your choice won’t be taken away. Even on the full moon.”
Which all sounds easy. But I bet isn’t easy to truly believe.
Though she seems to be trying to. Alicia gazes at me with her green eyes softly glowing. Then she kisses me. So sweetly, so hopefully, the salt of her tears infusing the heat of her mouth.
And Christ, I need her. Need her to know how she’s everything to me. Need to show her right here and now.
But there’s something else I want to show her first. Something I don’t think she’s seen yet.
Never breaking our kiss, I carry her into the house, up the stairs. This is a trek we’ve made so many times the past few weeks, ending up in the bedroom. This time I head past her bedroom door, stopping in front of the big mirror that makes the hallway look twice as long. The gold in my eyes is sparking bright—and I know she’s seen that every time I’m inside her. Every time I kiss her, touch her. My fangs and claws, too. Because with her, I don’t even try to hold them back. I don’t hide anything. And she doesn’t with me, either.
But I don’t think she knows how much she shows me.
She gasps as I set her down on her feet, then go to my knees. Her fingers twist in my hair. “Ranger,” she says breathlessly, then cries out when I cover her pussy with my mouth.
So goddamn sweet. My hunger for her never ceases. Every slick of my tongue just makes me crave another lick. Every time she moans, I just want to hear another. And when she comes, Christ—when she comes, it’s only sheer fucking willpower that stops me from eating her up all over again.
With my hands clamped on her hips to hold her upright as her thighs shake through her orgasm, I tease her pulsing clit with the tip of my tongue before rising to my feet again. My cock’s aching to be inside her. But not yet.
Instead I pull her back against my chest and face the mirror, telling her gruffly, “Look at yourself, baby. Just look at yourself.”
Red hair wild. Green eyes shining. Fangs visible through her parted lips. Nipples pebbled beneath the borrowed T-shirt. Claws at her fingertips.
“You know what I see?” My fingers dip down between her thighs to gently stroke through her wet folds because I can’t fucking help myself. “I see a woman who’s sharp and sweet and vulnerable and sexy and brave and so strong. And I love every part of you. What about you?”
“Oh, Ranger.” Her breath shudders, tears glimmering. “I love every part of you, too.”
“I know, baby. But do you love every part of you?”
She goes utterly still. Those glowing eyes take a long survey of her reflection. Not just seeing the fangs and claws and hair, I know, but looking deeper.
Then a trembling smile curves her mouth. “I…think that I do.” Tears slip over her cheeks even as a happy laugh escapes her. “I really do.”
As she damn well should. I spin her around, and the glint of gold in the mirror isn’t from my eyes as I bend my head to kiss her, devouring her sweet lips. She feels it, too—the chain that just appeared around my neck.
Gasping, she pulls back to examine it. Made of gold, each link solid, but so light I can barely feel it. And long, too. One end trails to the floor and into her room, like a leash on a collar. A leash that connects me to her bed. The end of the chain is wrapped around the leg of her bed frame.
Well, hell. I sure as fuck wouldn’t mind being tied here for eternity. But as soon as I accept her, as soon as I give myself to her, it’ll be gone—and her beast will be tamed. So I’m not wasting any time.
Neither is Alicia. Suddenly grinning, she grabs that leash and tugs me toward the bed. “Let’s go, Ranger Ranger.”
No need to tell me twice. I shed my jeans on the way, then grin when she swings me around and shoves me backward onto the bed.
“Don’t be scared,” she teases, climbing over me on all fours, kissing a trail up my thigh. “I’ll be gentle.”
Oh Christ, and she is. So damn gentle that I nearly go mad. So careful with her fangs as she licks and sucks on my cock. So mindful of her claws as she strokes me with her hands, until I’m hoarsely begging for more, because my need for her is ripping my control to shreds.
Her eyes are glowing bright when she finally moves higher, straddling my hips but not yet taking me inside. Instead she leans closer, kissing me before whispering, “How much of me do you want, Travis Ranger?”
“All of you, Alicia.” Emotion raw in my throat, I catch her face in my hands, my gaze burning into hers. “And I give all of myself to you. Forever, if you’ll take me.”
And my woman is so beautiful when she does. Rising up, hands braced on my chest as she welcomes me into the heaven of her body. I don’t even know when the chain vanishes. All I feel is her, all I see is her. A wildfire above me, blazing so hot, welding together everything within her that was torn apart.
She takes me, then takes me with her when she comes, her pussy gripping me so tight. And her kiss afterward echoes everything her body just told me, long and sweet and slow.
When she finally raises her head to look down at me, her lips are red and swollen, her fangs gone, her eyes no longer glowing. Yet she is, with the happiness I can see and smell coming off of her.
Because she tamed her beast. But it wasn’t only me who had to accept and love that part of her. She did, too.
“You’re all right, then?”
She nods, a dazed and wondering look in her eyes. “I don’t feel much different. But also…I do. And it’s as if so much I knew—but didn’t know that I knew—just opened up inside me. Such as how to transform without hurting. I simply don’t fight it.”
“That’s damn good.” I brush her hair back from her face. “So you want to go outside, turn into werewolves, howl at the moon?”
A giggle ripples through her, but she shakes her head. Her gaze drops to my mouth. “I’ve got a better way to pass the time tonight, Ranger Ranger.”
Yeah, she does. A hell of a lot better.
But I still make her howl a couple of times.
10
Alicia
I wake up to the soft rustle of Ranger pulling on his Forest Service uniform shirt—though earlier than usual. The sky outside is still dark. Then I smell what woke him.
Smoke.
I sit up. “You’re going?”
“Yeah. Depending on how this goes, it might be a few days before I’m home.” He leans in, kisses me. “I want you to gather up everything you can’t easily replace—photos, documents—and take them to the house in town.”
Dread clutches my stomach. “It’s that close?”
He glances toward the window, which looks out over the hills behind our farmhouse. And the sky is still dark…but with an orange glow in the distance. “If the wind picks up in this direction, I’ll be evacuating everything on this side of town. You will be all right, baby. But we can’t be too careful about the rest.”
Heart thumping, I nod. “Okay.”
From downstairs, I hear the sound of a door opening and closing. Then Brandon calling out, “You ready?”
Ranger cups my cheek, his dark eyes searching mine. “All good?”
“Yes.” I turn my face and press a kiss to his palm. “Be careful.”
“I’ll be all right. It’s everyone else we ought to worry about. Make sure your phone’s charged and the volume up. They’ll be sending out emergency alerts. If they send the evacuation notice, check in on your neighbors, make sure they got it. You’ll be safe, even if you’re the last one out.”
Because I’m impervious to fire. “Got it.”
He kisses me again, hard, before leaving. I send a message to Samantha, find out she’s already been pulled in for an extra shift. Then I start packing up the contents of our safe and our photo albums before carrying them out to her pickup. It’s not yet dawn when I make the first trip into town.
After returning to the farmhouse, I begin packing up my closet—not because it might burn. But because I don’t want to wait any longer before starting my future with R
anger.
Of all things that I thought taming my beast might mean, I never expected this sense of…peace. Not quiet, because nothing inside me is quiet. My emotions feel as huge and as loud as they’ve always been.
But only yesterday, I was thinking that meeting Ranger and Brandon had helped me become comfortable in my own skin again. Yet there was no “again.” I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin. Not when I was a little girl. Definitely not in high school. Not later.
After college, I became more comfortable. Yet never truly so.
Not until last night. Now I feel truly comfortable in my own skin. As if no part of my physical body is an enemy anymore—and as if there’s nothing within myself that I need to fight.
And I didn’t realize how exhausting battling myself was. Until now, when I’m not doing it anymore.
I make a few more runs between the farmhouse and town, keeping an eye on the smoke in the distance, a yellow cloud so thick that the sun is just an orange dot. They’re evacuating residences farther down the highway, and trucks loaded up with household belongings are creating a logjam of traffic on the main street.
As I reach home, my phone rings. Maria—who was supposed to be leaving on her camping trip today. Unless they cancelled.
I hit the speaker. “Hey! Are you—”
“Oh my god. Alicia, thank god.” The panic in her voice freezes my gut. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of anyone but the circuits are busy. So don’t hang up.”
“I won’t hang up. What’s going on?”
“We left early this morning, heading up to Cougar Ridge. We didn’t realize… Oh god. Until the smoke. And then the sparks flying everywhere. We’ve been trying to drive out, but there’s a tree on fire across the access road and we can’t get the camper around it. And everything behind us is burning and the smoke isn’t too bad inside the camper yet and—” She stops herself as hysteria begins rising through her voice. I hear her take a deep, shuddering breath, then say more calmly, “The kids are really scared, Alicia. Can you contact Samantha? Tell her we’re stuck out here?”