Wandering Star

by Steven Anderson

“No, get me to the field. Thirty minutes after that and I’ll be in Wandering Star’s infirmary. Her medical AI can fix this.”

  “Twenty minutes to the field maybe.” He looked at me again. “Stick with me, Teddy. I’ll do my best.”

  I faded between periods of pain and nothingness, wanting to stay in the nothingness more and more as we went. Then there was floor under me instead of Cuza’s shoulders. I opened my eyes and Alice was next to me, I could see her face as she opened my shirt enough to examine my shoulder and chest.

  “Certified medical tech,” I managed to whisper although even that hurt. I tried to smile.

  “Hush.” She injected me with something that felt warm and the pain level dulled a little. “I’ll be right back.”

  Hannah leaned over me and I could see we were on board one of Star’s shuttles. “Still on the ground?” I asked.

  She nodded. “You were late. A CG patrol got here right after you arrived. Now they’re outside demanding to search us before they’ll let us leave. Von Muller is holding them off, claiming they don’t have the right to search a RuComm ship. And there’s a Confederation militia gathering around the field, thanks to Cuza.” She looked up toward the open shuttle door. “We need to go now or give up. You need more attention than a certified medical tech can provide and you need it soon.”

  “Can you close the door and get us in the air?”

  “No. The shuttle is set on full manual and if von Muller tries to reach the cockpit we’ll have a squad of angry CG soldiers following right behind him.”

  “Can you fix the AI?”

  She kissed my forehead. “Maybe. If I can remember what I broke. I’ll have to do this from the cockpit.”

  She left me and I could hear the sound of the argument taking place on the ramp, the Captain firm and obstinate, Alice being calm and trying to manipulate the CG into walking away before the militia had them trapped. After a few minutes I heard Hannah’s sharp “Ha!” of triumph. The ship rocked slightly on its landing struts and I could hear the whine of servo motors spooling up to retract the ramp and seal the door.

  Hannah was back by my side. “She’s on full auto now. This shuttle is on its way back to Wandering Star and nothing can stop her. I’m going to go drag Alice and von Muller up the ramp. They’re moving too slowly.”

  As she stood I heard a single rifle shot followed by automatic weapons fire. Alice and Hannah were both yelling and von Muller was swearing in a language I didn’t recognize. The shuttle door sealed and there was complete silence. For a moment I thought everyone else had been left behind and that I was the only one on board. Then Alice collapsed on the floor next to me with Hannah next to her.

  Hannah was angry. “They pulled von Muller down the ramp before he could get inside. The way they were all running at least he should have been clear of the thrusters.” She looked at Alice. “I guess you have another rescue to plan.”

  Alice was looking at her but not seeing her. Her eyes had lost focus and she started to topple over. Hannah caught her and helped her down onto the floor next to me.

  “Damn it, Alice, if you got yourself hurt protecting me…”

  “You owe me now, and I’ll never let you forget it.”

  I could hear Hannah struggling to pull Alice’s coat off, swearing under her breath as her hands became wet with blood.

  “How bad?” I asked.

  “Bad enough,” Hannah replied. “Upper left, through and through. I’ve got to stop the bleeding. She’ll be OK once we get her to the medical AI in the infirmary.” She looked at her watch, frowning and then looked at me. “Same as you, you’re both going to be fine. Twelve minutes until we dock. Just hang on twelve more minutes.”

  Alice talked to me for the first five or six minutes, or at least I remember hearing her voice while I drifted in and out. She was telling me something about what our home would be like in Palma Sola, where she wanted to plant a garden and with what kinds of flowers and how it would look in the summers. She talked about all of her favorite places on Dulcinea and all the things she wanted to show me and Mala Dusa.

  I felt the shuttle dock into Wandering Star and the rumble of the landing ramp being deployed. Hannah yelled for help and there were a lot of people around me. I caught a glimpse of Alice looking very pale, her eyes closed. We arrived in the infirmary and nothing happened.

  “What do you mean?” Hannah asked.

  “That part of Star’s brain is still full of holes. The full medical AI was a lower priority. We can do first aid, but for anything more we need to go to Bodens Gate.”

  I could hear Hannah breathing hard. “We just came from there. They won’t survive long enough to go back, do you understand? We just barely made it here.”

  “Maybe we can get them stabilized and then—”

  Hannah cut him off. “Start on that. Where’s the damn terminal?”

  A man’s face appeared above me. “This might sting a little.” Something sharp felt like it went into my shoulder and out through my back. I slept and I dreamed.

  I was hiking in the Sonoran desert. At first it was the real desert back on Earth and then it was the outer ring corridor on Star. Jake was there with me part of the time and then the path I was following changed to the Dulcinean Heritage Trail. Alice was a hundred meters ahead of me wearing her blue t-shirt and shorts, leaving her long thin legs bare and her feet clad in big brown hiking boots. I was trying to walk fast enough to catch up to her but my legs hurt and she was starting to pull away. I called to her just as she was about to enter a dense stand of trees and she stopped and turned.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with my legs today,” I told her, “I can’t keep up.”

  She kissed me very gently. “That’s OK. Why don’t you rest here under the shade of the trees for a bit? I’m going to go on ahead to where we always set up camp. You can take your time and I’ll be there waiting for you.”

  “Can we swim in the lake again?” I touched her shirt. “You could leave this on. At first.”

  “Of course, you know I’d like that. But there’s no rush. Go slowly on the trail, OK?”

  “I’ll try, but knowing you’re waiting for me makes me want to hurry along.”

  She kissed me again, hard this time with her long arms wrapped around me and then I was alone. I sat on the ground leaning back against a rock listening to the sound of birds singing and chirping around me. There was one that was getting louder and more insistent until the chirping was no longer a bird but an alarm. I struggled to bring myself back to consciousness, remembering the countless drills Captain von Muller had put us through, afraid that I’d be the last one to the rally point again.

  Someone said, “I’m losing her,” and then there was the sound of the alarm again.

  I heard Hannah yelling, “I’m almost there, ten minutes. I just need ten minutes.”

  The alarm cut off. “Make it five and we can save the baby and maybe him.”

  I tried to turn over but the best I could do was to roll my head to the side. Alice was there next to me. Her blue t-shirt had been cut in half and was soaked in her blood. I tried to reach for her but my arm wouldn’t move right.

  A woman’s face came down in front of me blocking my view and asked, “How are you even awake?” She adjusted something and I slept again, uncaring of the life and death around me.

  When I next opened my eyes Professor Vandermeer was sitting in a chair by my bed typing on a display pad. I wasn’t sure if he was real or not so I asked him, “Are you real?”

  He smiled. “Been dreaming again, have you?”

  I looked at the wires and tubes still attached to me. “How long was I out?”

  “Twelve days and a few hours. You were awake some of the time but I doubt you remember it. You weren’t making much sense.”

  “Days?” Reality started filling me back up again, pushing ou
t the dreams that had comforted me. I looked at the empty bed next to me. “Where’s Alice?”

  He moved his chair over closer to me before answering. “She’s gone, Ted. She didn’t make it.”

  “Are you sure?” It was a stupid thing to ask but the words just came out of me.

  He took my hand. “There was too much damage. Everyone here did all that could to save her but it wasn’t enough. When Captain von Muller got back on board he told me that Hannah was able to do more repairs to the system in twenty minutes than the crew here had accomplished in nine months, but by the time the AI was back on line it was too late. They saved Mala Dusa. She wasn’t quite ready to be born but she’s fine. And they saved you. Alice,” he paused, getting control of his voice, “my little girl is gone.”

  “I didn’t keep her safe. I am so sorry.” I could feel tears hot on my cheeks.

  “Don’t do that, Ted. It’s not your fault, you can’t blame yourself. Did you know that she sent me a letter every day you were on Bodens Gate?” I shook my head. “She was happier there with you than she had ever been in her life. It was being with you that made her happy. It was you that healed her.” He looked at me and I was still sobbing. “I should let you rest now. I can get you something to help you sleep.”

  “No, I’ve been in this bed too long already from what you told me.” I tried to move but wasn’t very successful.

  “Most of the bones in your legs have been either rebuilt or replaced. You still have a block operating while the nerves are regrown. You’ll be able to move them in a day or two but you’ll need a lot of physical therapy before you can just roll out of bed and be ready for the day. Your insides were a mess, too, but they should be mostly healed. We came very close to losing both of you.”

  I wiped my eyes on the pillow. “Tell me more about what Alice said in her letters.”

  “Much of that is between a father and his daughter, something you will have the privilege of understanding one day.” He sighed. “Alice never told you about the time in her life after Philip died. She didn’t want me to tell you either, but you deserve to know so you understand what you accomplished in her life.

  “About two weeks after he was killed, Alice decided that there was no longer a reason for her to be alive either and she tried to kill herself. I stopped her, but being Alice her plots became increasingly complex and dangerous. She even tried to hire someone to kill her a couple of times. I was able to stay one step ahead of her but just barely. I was nearing the point of having to institutionalize her when the University chaplain intervened and saved her. When you met her on the Margo Islands she was just barely Alice again. When I got the first letter from her after you were rescued from Cleavus it was like she was finally back alive again for the first time since Philip’s death. You can’t imagine what it’s like to have someone you’ve lost be reborn that way. You gave her a year of life she would not have otherwise had, and you gave me a beautiful granddaughter so that Alice can live on through her.” He bent over and kissed my forehead.

  “Where is Mala Dusa? I’d like to meet her.”

  “With Hannah, probably. They’ve become inseparable. I have to fight with her for a chance to hold the baby.”

  “Is Hannah all right?”

  “No, not really. She believes she’s responsible for Alice’s death, what happened to you, and the current chaos on Bodens Gate. I’ve found her in here several times in the middle of the night with Mala Dusa, talking to you and crying. I’ve spent quite a bit of time talking to her. She’s more like Alice than she wants to admit. Hannah’s a good choice for working with the Commission that Alice had me set up, but she needs to stop trying to take personal responsibility for everything that’s gone wrong. I find myself arguing with her and using the same words I used with Alice after Philip was killed. She’s going to need your friendship to get through this.”

  He looked at me as though reading my thoughts. “You don’t have to look so uncomfortable, Ted. Alice told me about you and Hannah. I know that you were planning on returning to Dulcinea with Alice and leaving Hannah here working for the Commission. Alice knew she had won that battle.”

  “She had, there were no doubts or second thoughts in my mind.” I smiled. “She knew my heart was hers but it didn’t keep her from trying to manipulate me all the time.”

  “Of course not. She was Alice. Ted, you don’t have to decide until you’re feeling better, but I’d like you to stay here and work for the Commission too. We’re going to make the bastards pay for what they’ve done and I want you and Hannah to be a part of that.”

  “I’ll need to talk to her about it.”

  He nodded. “Let me ask her to come here now along with your daughter. Star? Where’s Hannah?”

  “Ms. Weldon is in the outer ring corridor near the starboard aft engine room on the Tech Team deck.”

  “Can you please tell her that Ted is awake and would like her to bring Mala Dusa to see him?” He paused a moment and then added, “And remind her not to run while she’s carrying the baby.”

  “Ms. Weldon says she’s not running, just walking very, very fast.”

  A few minutes later I had a tiny baby lying on my chest. “Hello, there,” I whispered to her. The Little Soul didn’t answer but I could feel her smile.

  Hannah stepped back from me and looked at Alice’s father. “Now I’m going to have two of you trying to take her away from me.”

  “Someone will have to care for her when the Commission starts meeting next week,” the Professor reminded her.

  “I’m bringing little Dusa with me so people don’t forget what it is we’re fighting against and what we’re fighting for. She’s a child of the Warrens. There are hundreds more like her down there missing a parent or two, living on the street or in the Mission if they’re lucky.”

  Dusa had a tight grip on one of my fingers and was trying to focus on my face. It felt wonderful having her there with me and to feel her wiggling against my chest. Alice’s daughter. My daughter.

  “She’s beautiful,” I said, “the most beautiful girl God ever created.”

  “I think she’s going to have her mother’s nose,” the Professor commented.

  “Like I said, beautiful.”

  Hannah leaned over me and let Dusa take one of her fingers, which she tried to put in her mouth. “I think she’s hungry again.”

  I looked up at Hannah. “Thanks for taking care of her. You’ll have to show me how in a few days when I can get out of this bed.”

  “Sure. She’s an easy baby.”

  The Professor reached over us and lifted Dusa up. “I think we best let you rest some more. When Hannah came in here with Mala Dusa I saw your pulse on the monitor jump twenty percent. Now it’s pushing over one hundred beats per minute. Ted, you need to rest and think and start to decide what comes next for you. There’s no hurry, but in the next few weeks you need to know what it is you want to do and where the Lord will lead you and my granddaughter.”

  “I don’t think I can sleep, there’s so much going through me right now.”

  He nodded to Hannah and I saw her reach for something behind me. “Of course you can.”

  A month later, Dusa and I were walking slowly through the Sonoran desert together. My legs hurt but not as much as they had the first few times. My times were improving and Star’s medical AI seemed pleased with my progress.

  “Dusa, let’s sit next to the Ocotillo up there and rest for a minute.” I sat down on the trail cross-legged, an achievement in itself, and lifted Mala Dusa out of her front pack and laid her across my knee. “Just two more kilometers and we’ll go get some lunch.” Dusa didn’t say anything so we sat and made faces at each other for a couple of minutes.

  “Well, look at you. I can see you’re exercising hard this morning.” Hannah sat down in front of us causing Dusa to shake her arms in excitement. Hannah picked her up an
d leaned her against her shoulder rubbing Dusa’s back. “You have it too cold in here for her.”

  “She was inside her pack until a minute ago.” I reached over and touched her toes. “Her feet are still nice and warm.”

  Hannah had cut her hair short again but it was still falling across her face requiring her to push it back impatiently whenever she leaned forward. “Is the Commission on break again?” I asked her.

  “Yes. Again. I wish I was down there instead of having to work through a holographic avatar.”

  “Professor Vandermeer wants to keep you up here because he knows you’d be running the whole show by now otherwise. And someone might recognize you even with your hair different. Are those blue and red highlights in it now?”

  “Dusa likes the colors.”

  I looked at Mala Dusa chewing on Hannah’s hair, one lock clenched in her fist.

  “I like it too. It’s pretty.”

  Hannah put her left hand on my knee, tracing the scars that ran down my leg from there. “I don’t know how you can stand to look at me or even be around me but I’m grateful that you do.”

  I tried to lift her chin to look at me but she jerked her head away and continued studying the scars on my legs.

  “You’re a hero down there, in the Warrens, did you know that?” I told her. “Cuza is using your name as a rallying cry for all the clans. Even Father Ryczek has taken a stand now against the Central Government. A hundred years from now I think they’ll make you a saint.”

  “It was Alice’s death that pushed Ryczek off the fence, not Ysabeau Romee’s. He’s been in some of our meetings. He wanted me to die, and I should have. So many others did, why should I be allowed to sit here with you holding Alice’s baby?” She kissed Mala Dusa’s head and looked up at me. “Damn you, Ted, would you please hate me? It would be easier if you did that instead of staring at me the way you are right now.”

  “How am I staring at you?”

  She put her cheek against Dusa’s head and rocked gently with her. She said in a low voice, “Like you still love me.”